AN: This is where I'll begin taking a little creatively liberties from the manga. It will still follow roughly the same timeline and story, but it won't be a written form of the manga anymore. Also, yes I changed the spelling of Sara's name. In America where Sara is supposedly from, most Saras are spelled with an H… so deal.

Chapter 3: Sarah Mcdougal

It had been a full week since Keitaro had spoken a word to Naru… and he was conflicted. His heart still wanted her, even if it was illogical. He wanted to spend time with her and hold her close. His brain was grateful that he hadn't been beaten in a full week. In fact, he was in the best health he'd been in since joining the girls at the apartment.

Not to mention his prep exam work was starting to get easier. Of course, it was still stupidly complicated, but he may be one of those people who was better off studying on their own. Or maybe Naru just had a drastically different learning style from him. Who could say.

However, his life wasn't all good. He needed a job… like yesterday. Luckily he had a foolproof plan: randomly pick one out of the newspaper and stick to it.

"There's got to be something here," he muttered. "Fine! I pick this one!"

He jabbed blindly at the paper and landed on a delivery job. That might actually not be too bad. Even Kitsune approved of his plan.

"Working for a living isn't all that bad," she said. "What about Tokyo U? You still gonna study to get in if that job goes well?"

Keitaro considered it. Before, he'd been studying to get in with his promised girl… but what were the chances that actually ended well? Slim to none. The chances were even worse that things would end well if he went for Naru's sake. Why should he try to get into the university?

If he had to struggle to even pass the entrance exams, then what would actually attending the college be like?

"It's not really on my mind anymore," he said decisively, and in that moment, it was a true answer.

Keitaro walked down to where he was supposed to meet the owner of the paper ad and sat down on a bench, doodling idly. For several long minutes, he was uninterrupted, even growing a bit bored. Soon though, people around him were voicing concern. Glancing up, he saw what was causing such a stir.

A lone van driver was swerving all over the road, almost getting sideswiped by the electric train.

"Crazy asshole!" yelled a motorist.

"He's gonna get himself killed," said Keitaro, watching the chaos.

The van turned sharply, flipping over right next to Keitaro, and he dived out of the way of the homicidal driver.

"What the hell?!"

"Oh," said a dark-haired man, exiting the van. "Hey there. Are you the one that answered the newspaper ad?"

"Huh?"

The man exited his van, and Keitaro noticed his head was bleeding freely. He was definitely a bit off.

"I didn't think anyone would apply, being a part-time, low pay job; but thanks for applying. We talked on the phone… my name is Seta."

"Um… thanks. My name's Keitaro Urashima… Your head is bleeding."

"Oh my," he said, smiling all the brighter. "I suppose that's not good, huh? Well, let's get going, we've got deliveries to make. These boxes have to be delivered by 4 P.M."

Keitaro looked in the back of the van to find loads of clutter.

"This is all just a mess right now."

"Oh," said the man, showing genuine concern. "That's not good at all, the professor will be furious! How good are you with your hands?"

"Um… well I…"

"Good, use this to fix the items back together back there."

Seta handed him a bottle of crazy glue…

I find the one man in Japan who is possible an insane criminal archeologist!

Keitaro struggled to get the plates and artifacts back into a presentable shape. After a few minutes, he had a china plate good as new. Well, as good as could be expected.

"This is china right?" he asked Seta.

"Yeah, it's good, just speed it up."

Having no real choice in the matter, Keitaro went through the artifacts at double speed. It was about half-way through the artifacts that Keitaro noticed a young girl sitting on top of a box.

"Whose kid is this?"

"Not mine," said Seta. "She's a relative. Just don't bother her."

"Don't bother her?" asked Keitaro, baffled.

The girl suddenly sprouted a devious look, and stamped hard on all of Keitaro's hard work, shattering the artifacts all over again.

"NO!"

"Hey, Sarah!" called Seta. "Are you behaving yourself back there?"

"Yes!" she answered sweetly.

"Well don't bother the part-timer," he said, glancing back. "Hey, how come there's no progress?"

"It's hard enough to find work without this shit!" Keitaro muttered. "Where are these going anyway?"

"Oh, didn't I say?" asked Seta. "Tokyo University."

"EH?!"

The one place he was happy to not see. There really was nothing for it though, he was Seta's delivery boy and would do what was required. When they finally arrived at the University, Keitaro had made some progress on the china, despite the little girl's attempts to destroy the items.

"Ok," said Seta. "Now help me get these boxes up to the eighth floor."

"The eighth floor?!"

"Yeah, and the lift is broken… it's why I hired you to be honest."

"Great…" mumbled Keitaro.

An hour later, Keitaro sat down, clutching a stitch in his side.

"Good job part-timer. You just saved my life."

"Good," said Keitaro, honestly happy to have made a difference.

"Oh, and make sure we keep the broken china just between us."

"Ok, sure."

"You know, I have to say you've impressed me Keitaro.'

"With what? That china job?"

"Not that," said Seta, waving his hand. "It's the first time I've seen Sarah get along with anyone so well!"

So well? She damn near ruined your china!

"If you say so."

"So what do you think? Starting tomorrow you want to be my assistant?"

"Assistant? You're serious? I don't think so… I'm still a high school student."

"Of course I'm serious, and don't worry, I'll make sure you get plenty of salary."

"Yeah! I mean… yes, thank you."

Keitaro would quickly learn to regret that decision. Oh sure, the prospect of working for Seta was actually good fun. He enjoyed the ancient cultures and demanding work that kept him on his toes. The trouble was the 'other assistant.' Sarah was a brat and always obnoxious. He was just finish reeling from a kick to the face she'd delivered.

"See that, loser? Papa taught me shikendo!"

I already know one kendo user, and she's more than enough.

"What are you doing?! You brat!"

"Because you were busy daydreaming! Stupid!"

It was actually true. Recently Keitaro had been stuck in a world of fantasy. He was given over to visions of himself and Naru. Of course, these were always pure fantasy, as Naru was barely speaking to him. It wasn't even Naru herself that he liked so much. It was just more the companionship. After all, none of the other girls could really be a romantic prospect.

Shinobu was very kind, but far too young.

Su was also very young, and didn't understand the idea of romance as it was.

Kitsune was the closest to his age, but her alcoholism caused problems and she flirted around way too much to suggest she could be in a committed relationship.

Then there was Motoko. She was a strong woman and very proud of it. Of course she was a tad younger than he preferred women, still being 16, and her temper was over the top.

Of course… so was Naru's.

Sarah kicked him again.

"Why should you get to be dad's assistant?" she asked, pointing her accusatory finger. "I'm going to get you fired! You'll see!"

"I am a glorified babysitter," he said softly.

As he finished this thought, the doom van (so he had nicknamed Seta's transportation,) came crashing through the wall, destroying a vase he'd just spent hours of work on.

"I had just fixed this!" Keitaro said angrily.

"Sorry! Sorry!" said the labcoat-clad man. "How are things going here."

"Your head is bleeding again."

"I actually have to go to Okinawa for a lecture, so I need you to take care of Sarah for the day, alright assistant?"

"What? No! No, no no no! Not never no!"

"Alright then, you two take care," said Seta, driving off.

"Dad! Wait! I don't wanna be stuck here with him!"

Seta drove off, ignoring the belligerent cries of his daughter and assistant.

"Why is he always so care free?" asked Keitaro.

"That's how he always is," said Sarah, rifling through Keitaro's bag. "Hey what's this?"

"You can't just search through my things! Those things are things that are private things for a reason!"

"These are called photo stickers, right?"

Sarah was holding up the scrapbook of his and Naru's trip to Okinawa.

"Don't look at that!" he shouted. "I'm serious!"

"There's no way a girl as pretty as this is your girlfriend! So that means you have a crush on her! That's so funny! You're stupid."

"I hate you."

"Stop being an idiot. Just take me back to your home."

I must not murder the child of my boss. I must not murder the child of my boss. I must not murder…

"Wow! You live here? This place is a mansion."

"No," he said sighing. "It's a female dorm house. Keep your voice down."

"Keitaro!" shouted Naru, walking up to them. "Should you be at work. After all, that's what matters to you, right?"

Ok, yeah. She is still mad.

Sarah suddenly clasped her hands to her mouth. Never having seen this little devil child forced into silence, Keitaro raised an eyebrow at her.

"It's the girl from the photo sticker," she said quietly.

"Keitaro, when did you get a kid?" asked Naru.

"She's not mine," he said, rolling his eyes. "She's my boss' kid. I'm watching her while he's giving a lecture."

In a previously unseen professional attitude, Sarah snapped to attention.

"Nice to meet you," the child said formally. "My name is Sarah McDougal, and I'm from California, in the United States."

"You're so cute!" said Naru, fawning instantly over the child. "Your Japanese is very good!"

"Yeah, papa taught me!"

"Don't let her fool you, Naru," said Keitaro. "She's a devil child."

Sarah faked tears, and Keitaro knew what was coming next.

"Big brother is so mean," she said.

Before he could even see Naru move, he felt her first connect with his face and knock him out cold. When he awoke, they were in Naru's room, and she was setting Sarah down. Rubbing his face, he sat up warily.

"Here, you two stay put. I'll grab some snacks."

The second the door was closed behind Naru, Sarah leapt up.

"Hey!" Keitaro shouted at the obnoxious kid. "Stop this! Seriously!"

"Wow!" said Sarah, holding up one of Naru's bras. "Her breasts must be huge!"

"That's not appropriate! Stop this, seriously!"

He was actually trying hard to protect Naru's modesty, but as his bad luck would have, he had just managed to wrestle it from the kid when Naru re-entered the room.

"Fucking pervert!"

She planted her foot solidly in his stomach and he doubled over in pain. Suddenly Naru pushed him off her balcony and he fell the two stories into the hot springs. Deciding he'd had more than enough of Naru and Sarah right now, he put a warning sign up on the entrance and decided to soak properly in the hot springs. However… this would end in yet more bad luck.

Sarah suddenly appeared in front of him, holding the warning sign he'd so carefully placed.

"Naru! Come quick!"

"No! No! No!"

Of course, his pleas did nothing to stop him from getting hit across the face again. As he lay on the side of the springs, Keitaro came to the conclusion that while Motoko was often violent, Naru was excessively violent.

It was an hour later that all the other Hina girls came back home, and Keitaro realized a weakness of her's. Sarah could manipulate one adult, but a mass of people was too much for her, and she was soon shouting at everyone.

He smiled at the scene. For the first time, it seemed like it wouldn't the worst punishment possible to have Sarah at the apartments. Then the doom van made it's custom appearance, somehow managing to hop the fence into the hot springs, and Seta stuck his ever-bleeding head out.

"Hey Sarah, did you have fun?"

"Yeah," she answered, baffling Keitaro.

Soon, Sarah and Seta were on their way and Keitaro was left to be drilled about his new job.

"What is it you're doing?" asked Kitsune.

"Well he's an archeologist lecturer, so I really just do whatever is needed. He's a lot a bit off."

"Do you help him did up mummies and stuff?" asked Shinobu.

"Probably someday, but not just yet."

"Do you enjoy it?" asked Motoko.

Keitaro had to do a double take. Did he enjoy it? Yes, actually. But why should Motoko care if he was actually enjoying himself or not?

"Um… yeah… I do enjoy it. It's actually a lot more fun than I thought it would be. I may not end up ever trying to go back to Tokyo U."

At these words, Naru stood up angrily, heading upstairs while mumbling something he couldn't make out. Keitaro pondered the fact that he'd just intentionally said something to hurt her. Couples didn't try to destroy each other, right?

How could he seriously consider a relationship with a woman when they were fighting all the time?

Am I really that desperate? Yeah… I suppose I am… Great.