Chapter 12: Happy New Year

Keitaro straightened back up as Motoko came at him again. He dodged swiftly, then blocked her punch, striking at her side. She hit the ground hard and rose quickly, holding out her hand.

"Very good," she said, clapping. "You may just about be able to take me in a real hand-to-hand. Take your blade now."

Keitaro assumed the stance she had taught him, readying his grip on the blade. He'd made great strides in his swordplay over the time Motoko had been training him, but he was still leagues behind Motoko, despite having more raw physical power.

Motoko dodged his attacks so fast he was little more than a blur. He felt her blade, Shisui, hit him in the back, knocking him flat. He rolled over, straightening up.

"Good," she said, "But you leave your back exposed when you strike. Let momentum carry you around, don't use up all your power in a few swings."

After another hour of instruction, Keitaro and Motoko sat on the roof together, drinking water and letting the morning light comfort them.

"So," he said. "You and I haven't actually talked much lately. Is everything going well for you?"

"I admit," she said carefully. "I have become… conflicted recently. I am still trying to understand how to handle my feelings towards others. I mean, I was raised to suppress my feelings and attitude. This whole thing of caring and being cared for is… foreign to me. I suppose I am just trying to be careful."

"I think I understand," he said. "It can be strange trying something new. Well, I'm always here anytime you want to talk something through, seriously. I don't care if it's the middle of the night."

She smiled at him.

"Thank you Keitaro. I appreciate you."

"No problem! Well I'd better get going before Naru starts yelling. You think she could just accept I have a life outside of her by now!"

"How are you doing with her?"

"Well she asked me to be with her."

"Oh."

"I agreed, but I'm not sure I should have… you know? I guess I'm just trying to make this thing with Naru work because she's my best chance at an actual romantic relationship, you know?"

Motoko stood up, suddenly.

"Urashima. It would be best for you to continue your training with another."

Without further word or explanation, she went into her room and he heard the door lock. He just sat, staring dumbly at the door she had disappeared through. What had he said that had upset her? Was she mad because he was taking a cop-out in a relationship? What right did she have to judge him?

It wasn't like she had any better ones.

He shrugged. If Motoko wanted to be pissed for a stupid reason, he would let her. He didn't need to chase after her and try to fix things all the time. After all, he and Naru didn't even talk about things, why should Motoko be different?

He tried to reason it out and tried to make excuses so that he could just leave Motoko alone. On the surface, it worked. He didn't go to her door, or even to the training grounds the next day or the next. He was live and let live. However, in his heart, he knew what he'd done was wrong, and it was tearing him up.

He knew something was wrong with Motoko too, even if she wouldn't say it. She never ate with the group anymore. She'd begun slacking off in her training, often yelling and growing irritated. Even though Naru and her used to be close, Motoko wouldn't say more than a couple words at a time to her.

Needless to say, when the new year rolled around, it was a very welcome relief.

"Happy new year!" called the group as the clock struck midnight. "Please support us through this new year!"

"Hey Keitaro!" called Kitsune. "Come on and have a drink with me."

Keitaro glanced at Naru, who was busy pouring over textbooks.

"Yeah, I could use a drink," he answered, downing a glass and filling it again.

"Aw, what's wrong? Things aren't all perfect like you thought?"

"Not even close," he answered. "I think this was a mistake. Naru have never once said that she loves me… I just don't like being alone, you know?"

"Keitaro," mutter Kitsune. "Look I'm not saying I don't get where you're coming from, because I do. Believe me, I have been there, desperate for any sort of affection, but it never lasts and it's never real. Not when it's like that."

"I thought you were the one leading the campaign for Naru and I to be together."

"Yeah, when you were still wanting her. Now you wised up and started to move on, only to give in anyway. Don't do that to yourself Keitaro. Any girl would be luck to have you, and Naru doesn't realize that."

"Thanks Kitsune. Enjoy the party."

He sat, drinking more of his alcohol determinedly. After they finished downing yet another masterpiece crafted by Shinobu. Su had the idea to pass out fortunes to everyone, even inviting Mutsumi up for one.

Keitaro laughed slightly. He'd never much believed in these things, but it could be good fun. He opened the fortune and read it swiftly.

Your path is muddled and twisted. Only through the wisdom and clarity given by a true friend can you find the way back to your true path.

"Meh," he said, slipping it into his pocket. "I don't know about that. Not even sure what true friend I have at the moment."

He looked at the girls as they read their fortunes. Naru smiled and tucked her's away. Kitsune snorted and threw it in the trash and the youngest trio all whispered excitedly, swapping papers around. Mutsumi seemed to accept her's with a sort of reverance and tucked it into her shirt.

Motoko looked at her fortune, read it quickly and then growled, throwing it outside.

Keitaro decided that it was just starting to get late enough to actually try and get some sleep when he noticed something outside. He looked down towards Mutsumi's apartment and saw a huge fire sending pillars of smoke into the night sky. He sprinted downstairs, yelling for someone to call the fire department, and trying to grab buckets of water.

Of course, the fire department eventually did show up and manage to calm the raging flames, but not before everything Mutsumi had was burned to the ground.

"Wow," she said, sounding just a cheery as ever. "That's really not very good. I suppose I'm going to have to end up going back to Okinawa now…"

Keitaro looked at the girl. She was so unfalteringly happy. He knew he couldn't let her leave, not when they could help her out.

"You don't have to leave," Keitaro said simply. "We have plenty of room at the apartments and if you really want to stay, we'll put you up, ok?"

"That would be very nice of you, thank you! I am in your debt, Urashima."

He cringed at the use of his last name. It reminded him too thoroughly of Motoko's fight with him. The more he thought of that, the more he knew he had to do something to try and set the record straight with Motoko. She was his friend and he missed her. She was comforting and wise beyond her years.

Hell they were closer than he and Naru were. He had to fix this, even if he didn't know exactly how he was supposed to do it. He helped Mutsumi into a room at the apartments and crawled wearily into his bed, deciding he could sleep on it, and find a way to fix whatever it was between him and Motoko in the morning.

However, he lay there and sleep wouldn't come to him. He was tired beyond belief and still couldn't find sleep. He kept turning on his light and re-examining the fortune. Lost paths and true friend… it might as well be Arabic.

He couldn't seem to find any sort of peace. It was at that moment that his brain decided to actually work for a brief moment. He remembered the medallion that Motoko had given to him. It was supposed to bring balance and comfort. He slipped it on and remembered what else Motoko had said about it.

It was something she had made specifically for him. You couldn't buy or re-gift these. They had to be made and given just between two people. This was a form of friendship Motoko had expressed to him. She had opened herself up by giving him the medallion.

And the next morning I stomped on her inquires of love by talking about my sort-of relationship with Naru… no wonder she's pissed at me.

Keitaro changed into his training gear and went to the waterfall Motoko had shown him a week ago. It was exactly like he remembered, only without her. He sat beneath the falls, letting peace find him and letting his confusion and pain go into the river. It made him vaguely wonder if he was poisoning someone's water supply with his negative emotions.

He could've spent hours under the falls or it may have only been twenty minutes. He couldn't tell. However, when he rose and began to walk back to the apartments, he noticed the first rays of light were peaking out from behind the distant hills. It looked like he would be pulling another all-nighter. Of course, today was going to be a rough one. Apologizing to Motoko would be scary, merely because he wanted her to accept it.

He knew he'd been wrong to say what he'd said, but needed her to open up to him too. If she couldn't talk with him, then they would end up right here again, and he couldn't stand that. He had to fix this problem.

Of course, that was just one issue. The other one was Naru. He knew he had to break it off with her, even if it hurt. Naru wasn't in a loving relationship with him, and he sure as hell wasn't getting anything good out of it. There was no passion or care in the relationship. It was just an occasional marking of territory, as if he was a mailbox and she was a dog. He thought prostitutes had more love in their transactions than what he was getting.

It had to stop. He reached the doors of the Hina apartments and felt something crunch a little under his feet. Looking down he remembered it was Motoko's fortune. Whatever was in was something that caused her distress. He picked it up and pocketed it. Maybe he could use it as something for them to talk about together or if not, he could at least give it back to her.

As he opened the door, he saw Naru standing there, ready to go.

"Oh hey," she said. "You're back early. Listen, I'm getting really tired of having to wait for you to come back and then bathe and change every day, so from now on, either stop training or change when you do it."

He took a deep breath.

"No."

He could've heard a pin drop from a house away for how quiet it got.

"No?!" Naru asked incredulously. "What do you mean no?"

"I mean no. I like training in the morning. It wake me up and helps me think. It brings light to me and I like it. I like spending time with Motoko and working out problems in my life with her. I like that she takes time to help me even if it takes away time from her personal life. I like that she knows I would do that same for her."

"Well that's good and all," said Naru, rolling her eyes. "But Motoko isn't talking to you, and your personal life is mine now, right?"

She moved forward to kiss him again and Keitaro blocked it with his hand.

"Not anymore."

"Excuse me?!"

"We're done. I wanted to be with someone I can love and care about. That's not you Narusegawa. I'm not some puppet or dog you can call on just when you want. I'm a person and I have an actual need in a real relationship! I'm done playing this game with you. I don't mind being a friend to you, but I'm not just your toy."

"Well look who apparently found their balls!" Naru said, winding up for a hit.

Keitaro deftly dodged it.

"Stop this."

She ran forward, swinging at him while yelling, "You vile pervert! You disgusting three-time failure! You think you can just dump me like a fucking garbage back! You're an idiot! I am the best you were ever going to have!"

"I am a mess up!" he responded. "I can't study properly and I don't think before I talk. I ruin friendships by being careless and put my own needs ahead of others sometimes. I can't control my anger and unleash it on people who don't deserve it, so maybe I don't deserve a perfect girl who can take care of me when I'm sick or tired… but I sure don't deserve what you're doing to me!"

Without another word, Naru went up to her room, slamming the door and yelling about his perverted desires.

Keitaro collapsed on the couch, trying to relax.

"Are you ok?"

He opened his eyes to see none other than Motoko standing there. He sat up anxiously and bowed as best he could.

"Motoko!" he said. "I wanted to find you and apologize. I realized…"

"You're wearing it," she interrupted him.

"Huh?"

"The medallion I made… You're wearing it?"

"I never should've taken it off," he responded. "It really is helping me think straight."

"You broke things off with Naru… even though she let you not be alone… why? I thought it was worth it to you."

"It wasn't. I don't care if it's not romantic. I need an actual relationship with people… People like you, Motoko."

"People like me?" she asked, mouth open slightly.

"I care about you and I know I hurt you when I said I was with Naru even if I thought our love was fake. I didn't consider that you were still trying to get in touch with your own emotions. I was wrong."

"You were not the only one. I took out a personal feeling on you without explaining how I felt about it. I had no right at all to be angry with you for seeking a romance. I disgraced myself."

"So did I," Keitaro answered. "So, any chance we can start over? I promise I can try and think about how you feel before I act."

"No," said Motoko solidly.

"Oh…" he said, crestfallen. "I guess I get that. Well then, I'm going to go…"

"No to starting over," she said. "It would take too long and I don't care to challenge you for ownership of the apartments again. How about we just go back to how we were, so long as I can learn to share what's on my mind, instead of snapping at you?"

He smiled at her.

"I would like that a lot, Motoko."

"Me too, Keitaro."

He hugged her gently and she returned it.

"Thanks for listening to me," he said.

"Anytime… Keitaro?"

"Yes?"

"You are still soaking wet… you went to my waterfall didn't you?"