"What's the matter Charlie?" Jamie asks as the two of us stand by the door in his room. James it sitting on the bed looking up at us curiously. Charlie nudges me forward "Private Phillips has something he would like to tell you" he says flatly. His tone makes me nervous and Jamie's critical eyes fall on me "Yes? Well out with it private!" he says. I swallow "Sir, I'm not who you think I am" I tell him, not disguising my voice. James immediately looks shocked, but Jamie doesn't seem to have noticed "What are you talking about boy?" he asks.
I feel myself trembling slightly "That's just it Major, I'm not a boy. I'm a girl". His jaw drops and he looks at me flabbergasted "A female? Have you gone mad?" he asks. I shake my head "No sir, I've not gone mad. I've been a girl since the day I was born" I tell him plainly. He shakes his head "Women aren't allowed to join the army! You'll have to be sent back at once!" he says. I look at Charlie for help but his eyes fall to the floor, I see, he's only here for moral support, he's not actually going to help me.
Gathering all the courage I can muster, I put my foot down and say "No sir, I'm not going back! I'm going to fight alongside my comrades! I fight just as good as them, I ride just as good as you! Let me stay!". He looks shocked that I actually just said that, and I cross my arms in front of my chest, that's right Major Stewart, I just said that, I just back talked you and I'm a woman, what are you going to do?
Before he can speak James pipes up "You know, she has a point" he says. Jamie glares over at him before shaking his head "Miss Phillips, the battlefield is no place for a lady. You're going to see things that will be too much for you to handle" he tells me, trying to rationalize with me. I hold my own against him "I can take it Major! Just let me try! Let me show you I'm as tough as any man in this regiment! If the war proves to be too much for me send me back, I won't stop you. Sir please..." I trail off, starting to grow desperate. I can't go back, I've got nothing to go back too!
Major Stewart doesn't seem to want to back down either "You could be injured! You could be killed!" he tells me, is he trying to scare me back? Is he testing me? I shake my head "I know the risks as well as anyone, if I'm injured it won't stop me. If I'm killed, I'll die proudly and nobly knowing I did it for my king and for my country" I reply. That last part is utter garbage, considering I'm an American, but we'll let him believe I really do want to die for the king. I certainly wouldn't mind dying in the name of Britain.
He stands in silence, trying to think of more reasons to prevent me from continuing on, I hold my hand out to him "Let's make the deal here. If I can prove to be as strong as any man, I can stay. If the war proves to be too much, then you can send me home at once. Deal?" I ask him. He stares at my hand for a moment before looking me in the eyes "I will make the deal. But I believe we should set a few limitations first. I am an honest man, I don't like to make unreasonable deals". So the two of us sit down and begin talking, and eventually we draw up the guidelines for our deal.
I am not to cry, or hesitate in fear, and I'm to be able to do everything all the other men do. I'm to work as hard as they do, and fight as well as they do. If struck with weakness or illness due to the fact the war is too much for me, I'm to be sent back at once. And there is one exception to the crying rule, and that is if someone close to me dies. With those rules set in place, we shake on it, and my fate is sealed, I'll be staying. Once Charlie and I leave the room we both smile at each other "Well that turned out well!" I say to him, he laughs "Indeed!" he replies.
When we return back to the room, our friendship returns to the way it was before I admitted my secret. In fact, our friendship grows even more. For the next few hours of our voyage I tell him all about the things I've seen, the things I've done, and the biggest thing I talk about, is life in the future. When I talk of the future, his eyes light up as though he's a child and I'm telling him the greatest fairy tale ever!
Suddenly our conversation is interrupted by the ship's whistle blowing. I stand up, packing away the dress and the other things I'd pulled out to show Charlie. The two of us head down to our horses together, and soon we're all unloading onto the docks. As I lead Sparks down the ramp, I notice the soldiers waiting to get on the ship. I feel my stomach churn at the sight of them, I've never seen something so horrible. Perhaps Jamie was right, perhaps this war will be too much for me to handle. I shake my head and merely keep my eyes trained to the ground, no, it won't be too much! I can do this!
We all mount up and begin heading out across the French countryside. I can't help but just quietly admire the scenery. This country is so pretty! Still, I once again wish I had my ipod with me, I could definitely use some music right now! After a full day of riding we find a place to set up camp and after tying Sparks to a nearby tree, I manage to pitch my tent all by myself this time! I'm so proud of myself! I suddenly notice some of the men are looking at me, some of them intently, some of them curiously, I roll my eyes and crawl into my tent. Doesn't anything stay a secret around here?
The night seems unreasonably short, and the next morning at the crack of dawn we're all up and riding again. Luckily Sparks seems to be just as tired as I am, for he moves quietly under me as we pass by canvases and walk down endless roads. Apparently we're heading towards a base where we're going to meet some others and plan our first attack. I just wish we'd get to the base soon! This saddle isn't all that comfortable!
"So, you're really a lass?" the private to my right asks. I turn and look at him, he looks young, no older than 19. I decide to just accept the fact everyone probably knows by now and nod "Yep". The riders in front of us turn and look back at me "You're crazy! What's a lass wanting to join the cavalry for?" he asks. I pat Sparks' neck "Well I get to ride horses all day and I get to meet lots of handsome men. Isn't that enough reason?" I ask. Pretty soon all us privates are talking, and I convince them to start a game of I Spy.
Private Henry, who is riding directly in front of me on a bay mare, looks in the distance "Alright lads, I spy something white" he says. Private Ryan, who is behind me on the right looks in the direction Private Henry had been looking in "Um, a cloud?" he asks. Private Henry shakes his head "Nope" he replies. I look in that direction "A bird?" I ask, he laughs "Do you see any white birds? Unless there are swans in France, which I don't think there are, it is not a bird" he says. Finally Private Warren points ahead "Is it the socks on Captain Nicholls' horse?" he asks. Private Henry nods "Oi, it is! Alright, your turn!" he says.
Before Private Warren can spy anything Major Stewart calls out that we're approaching the base. And sure enough, in the distance I can see a few buildings and tents. Private Mastin, who is riding directly behind me on a big black and white shire, sighs "Finally! I'm starving!". When we reach the base something in the air doesn't seem right, I dismount Sparks and tie him up. As I finish untacking him I hear someone running "Listen everybody! There's a sickness ravaging the base!" he says.
A sickness eh? Well whatever it is, I was probably vaccinated for it in the future. I push the thought to the back of my mind as I finish grooming Sparks and then pitch my tent for the night. The next morning I wake up to the sound of coughing. Poking my head out of the tent, already I can see men are sick. Looks like flu symptoms to me, whatever it is, I'm sure I'm fine! I find myself a quick breakfast before tacking up Sparks and heading out with the regiment to practice maneuvers in the nearby field.
During the practice, two riders fall off their horses and have to be taken back to camp. The next day five riders have to return to camp. At dinner on the third night I sit by Charlie, who doesn't seem to have gotten sick yet "Two men died last night, whatever sickness this is, it's horrid" he says, taking a bite out of his sandwich. I take a sip of my water before looking at him "Where's James?" I ask, noticing that Jamie is sitting alone. Charlie sighs sadly "He came down with the sickness this morning, the doctor did all he could for him. I think he's strong enough to pull through though" he says. I nod "Of course" I merely reply.
James sick? He's a strong guy, how could he get so sick so fast? And more importantly, where could this sickness be coming from. Suddenly my eyes drift to the glass of water and my stomach clenches, what if it's in the water? I push the water away and decide I'm not hungry anymore. I stand up and Charlie looks up at me "Are you feeling alright?" he asks, I give him a small smile "Just lost my appetite is all. You know how much I adore army food" I tell him. He seems to relax slightly and he nods "Alright, well goodnight then", I dip my head to him "Goodnight" I reply.
It sucks that everybody's so sick, but I think the worst of it is over. Most of the men have recovered from it really well by now, while a few others have gotten worse, three more have even died from it. I think I'm safe though, I haven't felt sick or anything, just tired. But we've been having a lot of really early morning starts lately. Jamie is frustrated we can't move because so much of the regiment is still recovering, and he takes out his frustration by drilling us all day long.
Today it was a little bit harder to get myself up, but I figured that was just because I've been working so hard lately. It was also colder than usual this morning, then again I'm always freezing when I first get up. I remember in my own time when I'd miss the school bus because I was too cold to get up out of bed in time. Today I did finally manage to get up though, and I tacked Sparks and headed out to train with all the other privates, Jamie leading us out towards the nearby field as usual. So far things have been alright, though I have started to feel a little lightheaded and my stomach has begun to hurt. But it's probably because I didn't eat breakfast this morning! Yes that's it!
"You alright Private?" Jamie asks, riding up alongside me. I nod "Yes sir!" I reply, though when I speak I have the sensation to vomit. I swallow it back and he rides off. I can't afford to be sick! I told Jamie I'd be as strong as any man, if I get sick he'll send me back! What happens next, I can't say. One minute I was sitting on Sparks as he cantered down the field, the next minute I am on the ground in a heap. I give myself a minute before sitting up, petting Sparks as he lowers his head to my face to check and see if I'm alright. Jamie rides up and looks down at me "Private, I don't think you're alright at all" he says as I pull myself to my feet, steadying myself on Sparks' shoulder "I'm fine sir!" I tell him stubbornly.
I try to pull myself up onto Sparks, but I just can't do it. Suddenly Jamie dismounts and comes over to me "Please go rest" he says, his voice hushed "You can't even stay in the saddle". He isn't suddenly concerned is he? Maybe he's trying to trick me! But I'm not going to be weak, I gave my word I'd be as strong as any man! And I'm going to do it! I try once more to mount, but can't find the strength to pull myself up. I stand next to Sparks and try to catch my breath, I feel so tired! Suddenly I feel myself falling and I wait to meet the hard ground once again, but instead I fall into someone's arms and they lower me down gently. Jamie must have caught me, how embarrassing!
I can hear horses and people approach me "Is she alright?" someone asks "Nah, she musta got the sickness too" another reports. I hear Jamie giving orders for everyone to report back to camp, and to bring my horse with them. I listen as their footsteps fade into the distance, taking Sparks with them. Suddenly I feel Jamie pressing the back of his hand to my forehead "Can you hear me?" he asks.
It's a struggle to open my eyes, but I manage it "Yes sir" I answer quietly. His eyes are softer than I'd expect them to be "Don't try to act tough anymore. We'll call it off for now, all the other men are coming down with this sickness as well. I wouldn't have expected you to be strong enough to fight it. You should have gone and rested when I ordered you to" he tells me quietly. I blink up at him, my vision a little hazy "I wanted to keep my word" I tell him.
He picks me up and begins carrying me over to Topthorn "Your efforts were admirable. I knew you'd started looked pale recently, I'm surprised you lasted so long truth be told" he tells me. I close my eyes again as he mounts Topthorn and pulls me up with him. I can't fight the darkness anymore, and it overtakes me. After that everything is a blur, feelings and voices I can't quite place. I try very hard to, but when I try I just end up falling back into the darkness once more.
When I finally manage to come to my senses, I'm lying in a bed of some kind. It's much more comfortable than my tent, that's for sure! But it's all a bit disorienting, where am I? I blink open my eyes and look around, the first thing I notice is Charlie sitting in the chair next to me, sound asleep with his head on the bed and my hand in his. Though I'm weak and my arms feel as though there are weights attached to them, I manage to lift my hand and run my fingers through his short hair "Charlie?" I manage to say.
Stirring, he lifts his head and rubs his eyes before looking at me. He smiles weakly "How are you feeling?" he asks, I close my eyes and groan "Horrible" I admit. I note that my voice is trembling slightly and I can hardly talk above a whisper, I don't like it at all! I feel so helpless! Charlie takes my hand back in his and tells me gently "We've been really worried about you. You haven't opened your eyes in days". Wait, days? What does he mean days? How long have I been out of it? When I ask him all these questions he smiles slightly, trying to lighten the mood "Well, Jamie brought you here about 5 days ago. I think it's rather funny, he was very distraught when he got back with you. He thought you'd died on the journey, because no matter what we did you didn't respond" he said.
I laugh a little despite my weakness, that is actually kinda funny! I do feel bad for Jamie though, he's a good man through his cold exterior, and I didn't mean to scare him. Charlie runs a hand through his hair and I ask him where Jamie and James are now. He laughs slightly "Well Jamie is probably in his quarters being all huffy and upset, and I think James is doing the practice exercises today. He should be here soon, he visits you ever day". That's just like James to be worried, I hope I didn't scare him too! Suddenly Charlie swallows and shifts in his seat "We're going to be moving soon. Do you think you'll be well again by then?" he asks. I shake my head weakly "I don't know" I tell him.
Just then another voice comes through the doorway "Charlie, let the poor girl rest". Oh, it looks like Jamie is done being upset! He approaches my bedside and stands behind Charlie "It's good to see you responsive Miss Phillips, you gave the men and I quite a fright with your condition". He turns to Charlie "Would you mind going out and doings rounds? I'd like to have a word with Private Phillips" he says formally. My heart drops into my gut and suddenly I'm afraid I'm in big trouble. He isn't going to send me back is he? He can't send me back! I've already come so far! Charlie gives me a sympathetic look but does as Jamie asks and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.
Jamie stands for a moment in silence before looking down at me "Miss Phillips, if you believe this is about your position in the cavalry I assure you this is not what I'm talking to you about" he says. I don't let my guard down, but he has definitely gotten me curious. If he's not going to send me back to England, then what does he want to talk about? He seems more nervous than I am as he turns his back to me, putting his left hand behind his back like a gentleman is supposed to. Finally he turns back to me and approaches my bedside "Miss Phillips, I know we haven't exactly been on friendly terms. I've been incredibly rude and cold in my mannerisms to you. I admire you a great deal, for your bravery and your wit. You are charming in ways no other lady I've ever met has been. And I..." he clears his throat and I have to contain myself as I try not to laugh. Is he complimenting me?
"Miss Phillips, if you'll allow me the honor. I'd like to properly court you. Would you allow me to do that?" he asks. Oh no! Oh how can I say no to him, but I have to say no, because I'm already engaged. Sure the man I'm engaged to has been dead for 2 years, but I promised him. I swallow and look away from Jamie, I promised him I wouldn't fall in love with anyone else! And even if I didn't promise that, Jamie would probably be the last person I would want to marry! I'm much more suited to Charlie, or even James! But still, Jamie really is kind at heart, a true gentleman! Under any other circumstances, if he asked to court me properly I would have said yes to him without hesitation! Finally I bring myself to look back up at him, his green eyes usually so cool and calculating are now soft and pleading, and it hurts me slightly.
Finally I manage to speak "Jamie, I like you too. It's just, I made a promise not to fall in love again. I can't afford to, after what happened. Perhaps we could simply be friends? We can be really good friends if you'd like! But I cannot allow you to court me" I tell him. I can see him trying to hide his disappointment, but after a moment he smiles "I'd very much like for us to be friends. Perhaps we can start by you telling me..." he trails off and turns away again "Forgive me, I shouldn't ask such a personal question" he says. I try to sit up and he turns around in a flash, pushing me down gently "No! Rest, please!" he says. I shake my head "No! Tell me what it is you want!" I say.
He looks shocked at my slight outburst for a moment before taking a step back "I'd like to know what happened that would cause you such grief, to make it so you can no longer allow yourself to be courted" he finally says quietly. It's always hard to keep in mind that stuff like that is deeply personal, if I were in 2012 I would have told my friends the story the minute I saw them again no problem! All they would have to do is ask! I would tell him right now, but I'm feeling really tired again "Jamie, I'll tell you. I've told Charlie so I don't see any reason not to keep it from you. Just-" I close my eyes and I feel him move close to me, pressing his hand to my forehead "I understand, you're exhausted. Rest". I hear him sit in the chair Charlie had been in earlier and feel him beginning to gently pet the top of my head, brushing my short hair back. It quickly lulls me to sleep. My last thoughts are, that my life has certainly taken a very strange turn!
Donuts! And yea, this chapter is a little all over the place! Next chapter will probably be the charge. Now I'll put in the authors note now that I'm going to be basing the charges more on the book than the movie. That said, there are going to be more than 1, and here is how they will play out. First charge will be like the book, England will win but James will be killed in action. Second charge will be like the movie, with the Germans winning and the English getting taken POW.
Um, I think that's all I gotta say. Please, PLEASE review! Because I have no idea if this story is any good or not. And most importantly, THANKS FOR READING!