It's still dark out when Charlie nudges me gently. I snuggle further under the covers, I'm so comfortable right now! Still her persists, telling me softly that it's time to move out. I finally lift my head up and blink at him hazily. He smiles and kisses me gently and I kiss him back. He stands up and pulls on his pants, it's so cold I pull the blankets around myself, asking Charlie to toss me the various pieces of my clothing scattered on the floor.
Once the two of us are dressed we head out and begin tacking our horses. Not many are up at this hour, they'll be getting up at the last possible moment. We got up early though to hide what we've done, as it would be terrible if Jamie or James found out what went on between us the night before. I finish tacking Sparks and then head to my tent, quickly gathering my things and packing them all into my bags. I get them on Sparks' back and then stand by his shoulder, stroking his neck.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Joey, and I walk over to him, holding my hand out by his nose "Hello there Joey boy" I say. The big horse paws the ground but I stroke him gently. Charlie is still getting his things together I believe, so I make small talk with Captain Nicholls' horse instead. While I do, I think about what had happened last night. It felt as though it went by so fast, but it was the most amazing moment, the most amazing feeling I'd ever felt in my whole life. I wish the night hadn't ended.
I'm snapped out of my thoughts by James greeting me. I look up into his blue eyes, he looks exhausted, but I think it's safe to say we're all exhausted. I smile back at him "Good morning James. Did you sleep well?" I ask. He smiles back at me sheepishly "Actually, I was up rather late drawing. I didn't think it had grown so late, but when I looked at my watch it was already well after midnight" he confesses. I laugh at him "Well hopefully you don't fall asleep on your feet then Captain!" I tease.
He begins tacking Joey and I talk with him. He tells me how he worries over Jamie's decision making, how he believes Jamie will have us all gallop to our deaths because of his eagerness to flash his saber in the sun. I don't know what to say to that, because according to the book from my time, Jamie will send us all to battle. And according to the movie, James will die. My heart suddenly drops and I feel a knot in my stomach, James raises an eyebrow at me "Are you quite alright? You look rather pale" he tells me. I shake my head "James, we can't attack today!" I tell him. A look of confusion crosses his face "What's the matter?".
I lower my voice "Captain, you need to believe me, but I'm from another time" I tell him. He blinks, and for a moment I worry he won't believe me, that he'll think I'm crazy. I wouldn't blame him for thinking something like that, but after a moment he goes on "You know what will happen today, don't you?" he asks after a moment. I nod, swallowing the lump forming in my throat at panic threatens to overtake me, I need to stay calm for everyone's sake! "James listen to me, in my time there's a book called War Horse. It's about Joey! I know everything that will happen to him in this war" I tell him. He doesn't look like he believes me, so I begin telling him everything about Joey, I tell him about Albert, about his father selling Joey and how much the Captain had paid for him.
His eyes widen, and I believe he finally realizes I'm telling him the truth. He stammers "I... I don't understand. How could this be?" he asks. I shake my head "James, it doesn't matter! All that matters is that you will die if you go through with the charge" I tell him. He puts a hand on Joey's neck, looking at the bay stallion "I am a soldier. I know you are trying to help, but I will go to my death proudly knowing I'm serving my country. Perhaps your story from the future got it wrong?" he reasons.
By now the whole regiment is tacking their horses and mounting up, getting ready to leave. I put a hand on James' arm "Please, be careful" I tell him. He nods and smiles lightly at me, patting my hand for reassurance "Everything will be alright, you'll see!" he tells me. I leave him then, returning to Sparks and mounting up. Charlie looks at me from where he's sitting on Blenheim "What's gotten into you? You look as though you've seen a ghost!" he tells me teasingly. I chuckle halfheartedly at him, I do believe I have seen a ghost! Suddenly my heart wrenches, what about Charlie?
I think back to the movie, I'd seen it so many times, it was one of my favorites. Did he live? I think to the cavalry charge, to the machine guns. Did I see Blenheim charge past those guns? What if the movie isn't eve right? What if it goes by the book and we make it to the second charge? My grip tightens on Sparks' reins and the white stallion shifts under me, feeling the nerves that must be radiating off of me in waves. I get into line with the other horses, Private Warren smiles as I pull Sparks up alongside him "Hey! It's good to see you again!" he says cheerfully.
Private Ryan speaks up from behind me and I turn back to look at him, he looks a little worn out, I think I heard he was one of the other privates besides myself to get incredibly sick, almost to the point of dying. Still, he smiles brightly "I believe luck's on our side if all of us are here. Right fellows?" he asks. At that point major Stewart's voice rings out and we begin marching. After a little more talking and recounting what we'd done while at the base, someone strikes up a tune and we all begin singing.
"Rooolling home when we go roooolling home when we go rooooolling, rooolling, when we go roooolling home" we sing, it makes me forget about the terrible things we're all about to face. Once we finish the song Private Scott who rides a big dapple grey in front of me on the right, next to Private Henry, looks back at me "You have a lovely voice. Were you an opera singer at one point or another?" he asks. I chuckle "Well I do know a couple of Italian arias, yes" I admit to them.
It was true, I remember in my own time period, long days after school with my music teacher learning those arias for music festivals. And I'd carried them with me to this time period, singing two of them on the Titanic for the first class. They'd adored me, and now these men look at me eagerly "Oi! Sing one lass! I want something nice. These war tunes are too upbeat for such an early hour!" Private Mastin says from behind me. The other privates murmur in agreement and I think through my song lists, what songs did I know?
They want something mellow for the morning, and my mind immediately lands on the song 'Se'. It was one of my favorite songs, in fact it was the theme from a movie that I didn't even know had words. I count myself off in my head, before beginning to sing softly "Se tu fossi nei miei occhi per un giorno. Vedresti la bellezza che piena d'allegria. Io trovo dentro gli occhi tuoi. Ignaro se magia o realta". The entire cavalry unit falls silent, and it unnerves me slightly, but I still continue with my song, focusing on the sound of the horses' steady hoofbeats.
Glancing around, some of the privates have tears in their eyes, perhaps their thinking of home, of their loves ones. Others look like my song is lulling them to sleep, and up far head I can see the three officers continuously looking back at me. Finally I finish my song and I look down, running my fingers through Sparks' mane to help myself relax a bit. The regiment rides in silence after that, everyone lost in their own thoughts. As the sun rises a few men dare to break the silence, and soon we're all back to talking again.
We ride for 6 full hours until we reach reconnaissance, where we dismount and pitch our tents. Once that's done we begin resting our horses and giving them water. Sparks nudges me and causes me to splash myself with water as I place the bucket in front of him, allowing him to drink. Charlie and James are nowhere to be seen, so I merely begin helping the other men with assorted things around the camp. Suddenly Charlie comes walking down the lines calling out "Salisbury Formation!". I quickly walk over to Sparks, my heart beginning to beat wildly in my chest. "This is it Sparks! You ready?" I ask him, my big white stallion doesn't even bat an eye at my question and I feel my hearts drift back to my fiance.
"Don't let me fall Sparks" I whisper, I'm not only speaking to my horse, but to the spirit of my darling fiance. I know his spirit must be with me, he wouldn't have appeared in my dreams if he wasn't. I listen to things going on around me. James is standing a few feet away from Charlie, who is staring at his saddle thinking. He looks scared, and worried, James asks him if he's alright and he looks up at the blonde captain, smiling "Never better! Literally, never better!" he replies, putting the saddle on Blenheim's back. I can see it in his eyes, he's lying, he's terrible afraid.
Jamie comes cantering down the lines, "Prepare to mount. Mount!" he orders. I put my foot in the stirrup and swing up onto Sparks' back, rubbing his neck "Here we go" I say softly as I turn him and begin walking. We all line up, Sparks and I standing in the front a few horses away from where Charlie and James are. I notice a red cloth on Joey's bridle and I smile knowingly, that's the pendent that Albert tied on Joey's halter when he was being led away in the movie! I shudder inwardly, that means that the movie was right.
That wasn't the only thing it was right, Jamie's speech was word for word the same! "Fear God, Honor the King!" he finishes, the entire regiment echoes the phrase and at this point, there is no turning back. We're all going to face whatever is out there, whether it be machine guns, or just Germans with rifles at the ready. I take a fistful of Sparks' mane as we're told to dismount and lead out horses into some tall grass. It's far above my head and I swallow fearfully as I lead Sparks into position. Silently we all mount up on our horses, we're just barely taller than it sitting on our horses. "Draw swords!" Jamie orders, in a swift movement I reach down for my saber, pulling it out and resting it on my right shoulder.
I see James look around "Good luck my friends" he says, making brief eye contact with Charlie, and then with me. Charlie looks back at the two of us, but doesn't say anything. The next order is given "Forward, to walk. Walk, march!", with a gentle, almost hesitant nudge I start Sparks into a walk. My heart is racing and I feel myself shaking slightly, this is it! I'm actually going to do it! I'm terrified at this point, but it's too late to turn around. I just have to face it!
"Forward to canter, canter... march!" the Major calls out, with another nudge Sparks sets off into a canter and I hold him back as tightly as I can. The sound of horses hooves pounding the ground is like rolling thunder, pounding in my ears. Or perhaps that's the sound of my heart pounding in my ears, I'm not sure at this point. Suddenly we reach the end of the tall grass and I feel very exposed, there is nothing in front of us except open expanse, open expanse, and a German camp!
No, this is all correct to the movie! If it goes this way I will die for sure! I urge Sparks on faster, in a slight panic. I glance over at the Captain as he thrusts his sword forward fearlessly, calling out "CHARGE!". The other men join in his battle cry, I do not, but simply point my sword forward and urge Sparks on. Charlie looks behind him hesitantly, I make eye contact with him, mouthing for him to point his sword forward. He turns and does it, and it's at this point I join the battle cries. I probably won't be singing much after this.
I can hardly hear anything over the sounds of gunshots, horses hooves, and men yelling. I begin to rein in Sparks, having him canter slower. I won't hit a damn thing if he's galloping so fast. I glance at my sword, I've never killed anything or anybody before. A German comes up on my left side and with a flick of my wrist he falls down to the ground, dead. "Sorry!" I call back to him as Sparks and I continue on our way.
Apologizing of course doesn't exactly justify killing these men, still it feels a lot better to do so. Therefore I continue doing it, keeping Sparks reined in at a canter, flicking my wrist with precision and killing the German soldiers, apologizing with every strike. I am not sure how long the battle rages on, but after glancing warily at the forest repeatedly I realize there are no machine guns hidden there, just a few Germans shooting at us from behind the trees. I turn Sparks and head in that direction, crouching low on Sparks' neck in hopes that will protect me better from the raining bullets.
Several men and I secure the Germans and the trees, and soon there are no more shots being fired. It's over! I let out a heavy sigh of relief and rub Sparks' neck "Good boy Sparks" I breathe as I try to catch my breath "Good boy". I turn Sparks around and walk out onto the field. Bodies litter the ground, some of them are Germans, but others I recognize as being our own. Horses also lie dead on the field and I merely swallow as I group with the rest. I scan the soldiers on the horses, catching sight of Charlie, panting and out of breath, trying to find his stirrup, but he's alive. I look for Jamie next, he can't be too hard to pick out of the crowd. I look for the familiar shining black stallion, and when I catch sight of him my breath catches in my throat.
Jamie and Topthorn are alive, with not a scratch on them. However, in Jamie's hand are Joey's reins, and the bay stallion is prancing alongside Topthorn in a panic. Where is James? He couldn't have, the movie couldn't have been right! We won! Just like in the book, yes the first battle was won in the book! But Captain Nicholls, I quickly scan the ground, in a panic. He can't be dead, perhaps he just lost his balance and fell!
I have Sparks trot around, my eyes search the field. Why must there be so many bodies? And to make matters worse I'm always terrible at finding things anyway! Suddenly I see him and I pull Sparks to a halt, practically vaulting off his back and running to James' side, falling on my knees beside him. I roll him over on his back and he blinks up at me. He's not dead! Still, his eyes hold a faint light in them. I take his hand quickly and call to him "James?" I ask, he coughs as he tries to speak to me and I hush him "It'll be alright, you'll be alright" I tell him.
He sighs faintly "You were right" he says in a hoarse whisper. I nod, feeling tears slip down my cheeks "I know I was right. I shouldn't have been though James. I shouldn't have been" I manage to say through my tears. I run my free hand over his forehead and through his hair. He smiles up at me weakly, coughing once more. Blood trickles out of the corner of his mouth and I wipe it away "I'll get you help!" I tell him, trying to get up. The hand I held suddenly squeezes mine weakly and I look back at him, he shakes his head "Don't, it's too late".
No! I cannot be too late! He's alive, he's here! Still I end up kneeling beside him once more running my hand over his head. He begins closing his eyes and I shake my head "James don't do this to me, please" I beg, my voice hitching. I end up sitting, arranging myself so the cavalry captain's head is in my lap. He looks up at me "It was..." he pauses as he fights for another breath to finish his words "It was a pleasure to ride beside you, and a privilege to have known you" he says softly. I smile though my tears, choking on a sob "I love you James, you've been such a good friend. Kind and generous" I say. He closes his eyes faintly "I do believe I love you too" he says. I begin to cry and his eyes flicker back open for another moment "Don't cry for me brave girl. You'll be alright" he says.
I shake my head "No! James..." I say and he hushes me "Listen to me. Back at the camp, you'll find all the drawings I've been working on lately" he pauses as coughs wrack his body. I want to look up, look around for someone to help James, but nobody comes so I keep all my focus on the man dying in my arms. He finally manages to continue "Take them, have them. To remember me by" he says. I nod and he closes his eyes once more "Don't let this war ruin you. Don't let it put out that fire that has driven you this far. The fire that I have grown to love" he whispers, so faintly I have to lean down just to hear him. I nod "I promise James" I tell him. Though my mind is kicking me for saying such words, I am horrible at making promises.
He falls completely limp in my arms and I feel him take his last shuddering breath. I completely break down into sobs and wrap my arms around him, he is not the first to die in my arms, and I strongly fear that he won't be the last. "Oh James" I say through my sobs, burying my face in the top of his head as I cradle him. He shouldn't have died, it shouldn't be this way! He was such a good person! And he was so young! I didn't think war would be this way, but who was I to think that anyway? What did I know? Me? A foolish and silly little teenage girl with her head filled with fantasies.
Someone has their hand on my shoulder but I don't acknowledge them, I just cry harder. They call my name, but it's as though I don't hear them. Finally I manage to look up, and a pair of green eyes meet mine. Jamie is kneeling in front of me, and he is gently trying to take the Captain from me. He looks incredibly hurt, and I let out another choked sob. He's supposed to be the cold one, who feels nothing! He forces me to look up at him, and his voice is low "James was my dear friend, please..." he trails off and I understand what he wants. He wants a moment. I swallow and loosen my grip on his body, lying it down on the ground gently.
He looks so peaceful, as though he's only sleeping and he'll wake up ready to go riding again. But I know that's not the truth, I'll never see those bright blue eyes again. There's a hand still on my shoulder and I turn to see Charlie behind me, with his head bowed and his cap in his hand. I can't see his face, but it looks as though he's trying to hide tears. I let out another sob and Jamie looks up at Charlie "Waverly, escort her back to camp" he orders, his voice gentle but firm. Charlie tugs on my arm slightly and I fling myself into his arms and begin to sob once more. It feels good to let out all these tears, to have a good long cry. I'm grieving not just for James, but for my fiance, for my friend Thomas who brought me to this time period. Yet I also grieve for my friends back in my own time period, my family, how I miss them! How I wish I were home with them, sitting in the living room watching some terrible movie and laughing about it.
Charlie leads me over to Sparks and I stand there sobbing for a few minutes before I can finally manage to pull myself up onto the white stallion's back. The walk back to camp is a long and painful one. And even when we get back to camp, the air is filled with sadness. Everyone is feeling the loss of their captain, and of the others who died alongside him. Even the horses seem somber as I walk past them, after untacking Sparks. Right now I want to crawl into my tent and vanish, but instead I head to James' quarters.
It doesn't take me long to find the drawings, however I don't dare look at them until I'm in the safety of my own tent. I begin looking at each one, there's one of Jamie perched on Topthorn, the big black stallion has his head up and his ears pricked forward as though he's looking at you. Then there's another, this time of Charlie jumping Blenheim. This must be from when we were jumping yesterday, this must have been what he was drawing last night that he was up so late! Every detail, from his memory, and it's perfect too! From Blenheim's carefully tucked legs, to Charlie's determined face, and of course his foot is out of the stirrup!
There are more drawings as well, one of them is of some of the horses tied up all in a line, there's two of Joey, another one with Charlie and Jamie side by side watching some privates, one of the french countryside, and then there's one of me and Sparks. My beautiful white stallion is performing a levade, which is my favorite thing to do with him when we're working. It's as though I'm looking at a black and white photo instead of a drawing. I run my hand over the drawing and my heart aches, how is it I will never see this man again? I really wish he had been an artist instead of a soldier, he would have been alive. Still, if he'd been an artist, I never would have met him. And that in itself, is reason enough for me to push all thoughts of James away. What is done is done, and now I have to move on. It hurts, but I can do it. I'm strong, I'm brave, James told me so. And with Charlie and Jamie at my side still, with my fellow comrades, I know I can do it.
Today is my birthday, the day of my birth. PLEASE review this damn story! Please! Thanks for reading it, but please! Review!