It's strange to ride out of camp missing people, even stranger to have Joey riding alongside Sparks and I. My heart is still heavy, and I can't bare to look at the bay stallion walking lazily beside me. Private Warren is tense on Joey's back, afraid for his life. Apparently during the charge his horse was shot out from under him, and while he wasn't seriously injured, it's obviously he is scared being on a horse again. I don't think he was much of a rider to begin with anyway.
Private Henry is not riding in front of me anymore, he was injured in the charge and we had to leave him behind, but both Private Ryan and Private Mastin are still behind me with their horses. We all ride silently, it is so early the sky is still black and there are stars in the sky visible. Everyone in the company has their heads low and they are lost in their own thoughts. I remember last week when we all rode together, how we sang, we told jokes and stories. Not a tearful eye or a heavy heart, not even a thought that such a turn could ever be.
Now we march on without our beloved Captain. I hold back a sob as I think of James, think of how we had to send his body back to England, to his family. His drawings are carefully tucked into the breast pocket of my uniform, and they will stay there. I steal a brief glance over at Joey plodding along beside me, the red pendant Captain Nicholls had tied is still there, nobody could bare to touch it.
The longer we ride the more somber the company seems to grow. And to make matters worse it has begun to snow, covering the fields in a thin blanket of white. These men thought they'd be home by Christmas, but now they know the truth. They won't be back for Christmas, chances are many of them won't even see their families again. How foolish was I to come here? I won't ever see my family now either!
Of course I'd never considered trying to find another way to the future, but now even if I changed my mind it wouldn't matter. I've signed up to face death, and I don't have a good chance of winning against it. My fingers tighten around Sparks' mane and I take a deep, shaky breath. I survived the Titanic, but that was all by luck and by knowing enough about the ship and its fate to escape. I know little of my fate here, and my presence has already changed so much.
"Don't let this war ruin you" he'd told me, James' final words to me. It was like a dagger when he'd first said them, and it hurts more now as I ponder the words further. I was told nearly the same thing by Mr. Andrews as Titanic began to take its final dive "Don't let this, or anything else, ruin you". Why is it the good and kind die first? Must it be such a crime in fate's eyes to be a good person?
I am brought sharply out of my thoughts as Major Stewart calls the troops to halt. I glance at my comrades to see many of them shivering slightly against the cold. "We'll set up camp here" he tells us before allowing us to break our lines. Many men dismount and lead their horses off the road, looking for a place to tie them, I stay seated and ride around until I find a place that suits me. Dismounting, Sparks nudges me and I rub his nose "Sorry my bonny boy, I have nothing for you" I tell him. He snorts and I begin untacking him.
As I finish Charlie walks up to me leading Blenheim behind him, usually he carries himself much differently, more alert and charismatic. Now he seems almost haunted, and it hurts to look at him "Hi Charlie" I say, offering a small smile. He smiles weakly in return "Hello" he replies. We stand in silence for a long time, him looking at the ground and I staring blankly at the cavalry rope around Sparks' neck.
Swallowing, I look up at him "Looks like you were right, they didn't shoot you with that new hat of yours" I tell him. He nods solemnly and I sigh, turning and walking towards where the other tents are. I find a place and begin to pitch my tent for the night. He clears his throat and I glance up at him "I've been promoted" he tells me slowly, I nod to him before looking back down and concentrating as I continue to pitch the tent.
"I'm Captain now" he tells me, I drop one of the tent posts and stare up at him "Captain?" I ask after a moment. He nods and I bite my lower lip, looking down again "That's good Charlie, congratulations" I finally reply, though my mind is screaming 'No! It's horrible! James should be Captain still, not you!'. I pick up the tent post I dropped and manage to finish pitching the tent, Charlie still standing awkwardly at my side the entire time. When I finish I stuff my things inside before turning to him "Is there something else bothering you?" I ask, slightly annoyed. Can't he see I want to be left alone right now.
He fidgets with his hands, looking down before asking "Tonight, I want to go for a ride before we set off again tomorrow morning. Would you... would you come?" he asks. He stammered, was he afraid to ask me? Suddenly I realize how cold I must seem to him and I sigh. Approaching him, I take his hand and smiling genuinely up at him "Charlie, don't hesitate to ask me. Of course I'll come" I tell him.
Charlie smiles back and the haunted and fearful look in his eyes vanishes for a moment "Alright, we'll meet up at supper tonight, and head out after. Does that sound good?" he asks. I nod "Sounds lovely Charlie" I reply. I had half a mind to call him captain, but decided against it last moment. I'm not ready for that, not yet, maybe not ever.
With a final smile he turns and leads Blenheim over, tying him next to Topthorn. Jamie is standing beside to the black stallion, a worried expression on his face. Charlie begins speaking with him, and I decide it is best to just leave it be for now. I'm sure I'll find out later, right now I need to get a little shut eye. Most of the other soldiers must have had the same idea as me, as the camp looks practically deserted. Something a little unsettling about it, especially with the snow falling.
I crawl into my tent, arranging my things and putting my pillow and blanket down. Reaching into my breast pocket, I pull out James' drawings and give them a quick glance over before stuffing them back in place. I reach into one of my other pockets and pull out a gold pocket watch, clicking it open and winding it before simply staring at it for a while. Eventually I find myself lying down, the watch open beside my head on the pillow. The steady ticking is soothing, it's the one thing that is constant, always the same. In such times as these, I find myself very drawn to such a small comfort. It isn't long before it lulls me to sleep.
Usually I dream vividly, yet lately I don't dream at all. I wake a few hours later having seen nothing at all. I feel as though I sleep better when I dream, without them I just wake feeling achy and unrested. I lay for a while, before the smell of food convinces me to heave myself up, snap the pocket watch shut, put it in my pocket, and then join the others for supper.
Charlie and Jamie are sitting a ways away from everyone else, and I hesitate to join them until Charlie looks up and waves me over. When I join them, it's clear that Jamie is still distraught over something. "What's the matter Jamie?" I ask quietly, so none of the other soldiers can hear. He sighs, not even looking up at me as he answers "The weather worries me is all".
It's clear that the weather is not the only thing troubling him, but I decide not to push the subject any further. Finishing my meal, I pick up my usual apple and excuse myself. As I walk out I shiver slightly against the wind. It's grown a lot colder out now, and now a thin blanket of snow covers everything. As I walk along the lines of horses, I can't help but stop in front of Joey and Topthorn. The black stallion is standing quietly, asleep on his feet, his breath slightly heavier than usual but I blame it on the cold.
Joey on the other hand is standing alertly, looking around as though he expect Captain Nicholls to walk out of a random tent and give him a pat on the neck and an apple for a job well done. I approach him and put a hand on his forehead, rubbing the white star and sighing "You're a good boy Joey" I tell him quietly. I reach into my pocket and pull out the apple I was going to eat. I have lost my appetite anyhow, so I allow him to eat half of it.
He munches on it, pieces falling out of his mouth as he chews sloppily. I laugh "You're silly" I tell him, giving him a final pat before going down the rest of the lines to where Sparks is tied. I feed him the rest of the apple and begin brushing the snow off his back. By the time I have him tacked and ready to go, Charlie is riding up to me on Blenheim "Ready?" he asks.
I nod, leading Sparks a short distance away before pulling myself up onto his back "So where are we going?" I ask him. He shrugs, giving me his usual goofy smile "I don't know, I just wanted to get away. Go riding without worrying about losing my head" he admits. Well that's definitely something I can relate to! I smile in return, it feels good to smile after how sad and depressing things have been lately.
We head into the woods, Charlie leading the way through the trees. Every so often we find a fallen log, and we take the opportunity to canter up to it and jump over, acting as though we're riding in the Olympics or something. I remember watching the Olympics back in my own time period, waking up at ungodly hours during my summer vacation just to watch a few horses perform dressage. I bet Sparks and I could win gold if we wanted to! Easily!
Suddenly I'm broken out of my thoughts by Charlie halting Blenheim abruptly in front of me, causing Sparks to almost run into the back of him. "Hey what's the meaning of-" he holds his out out to shut me up "Listen" he says quietly. I listen, but all I hear is the wind. I begin to tell him this but he turns around in the saddle, looking at me with a serious look in his eyes "No, listen harder".
Once again I listen, and suddenly I realize what he heard. We're not alone in this forest. I bring Sparks up alongside Blenheim and say just loud enough for Charlie to hear "Where's it coming from?". He looks around, swallowing before saying "I don't know". We look around the woods before turning our horses and beginning to head back to camp. We're about halfway back when I stop "Charlie wait!" I say. He turns around to look at me "What if there are spies, and they are trying to locate our camp?" I ask.
Charlie didn't seem to have thought of this, and he immediately turns around, heading back the way we came "We can't go back then" he replies. I sigh, it's cold out and the thought of someone follow me reminds me of that horrible video game, Slenderman. It's as though in another instant I'll turn around and the enemy will be standing there, waiting to kill us.
As we ride around in circles through the trees, I continue to look around and try to spot the ones following us. I'm beginning to get really tired of this, if they are going to get us, they should come out now. Huffing, I reach to my side, where my saber is, and pull it out "HEY!" I shout "If you want us! Come get us you dumb cowards!". Charlie looks back at me questioningly "What are you-" before he can finish answering I stand up on Sparks' back, holding the saber and pointing it in random directions.
"You don't frighten us with your silly knees-bent running around advancing behavior!" I call out, my mind continues to turn. I am not sure what impulses me to shout Monty Python insults, perhaps the knowledge that eventually the Germans will get fed up and attack us, or maybe the need to make light of the situation. I decide it's a little both as I put on a horrible accent and say as loudly as possible "You empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!".
Poor Charlie looks quite scandalized as I continue, however instead of continuing on with my silly taunting I start cursing up a storm. Being in this time period and forced to speak properly, it actually feels good to be able to shout profanity at the top of my lungs. Suddenly there's a shout and five men charge towards us. I quickly drop down into the saddle, clicking my heels and charging Sparks directly towards them, Charlie and Blenheim right behind me.
It doesn't take long to dispose of them, and I sheath my sword and grin ear to ear. Charlie huffs "I could have done that too" he says, I roll my eyes and dismount Sparks "No you couldn't have" I reply "You're too modest". I tie Sparks to a nearby tree and begin walking, following the German's footprints. Charlie copies my actions and runs up behind me, walking next to me "What are we doing now?" he asks.
I can't help but laugh "You're the lieutenant, I'd think you'd have thought of this. We're going to follow their footprints and find out where they came from!" I explain. His eyes grow wide "You don't expect to take on an entire German army just the two of us? I don't think this hat is THAT protective!" he tells me, sounding utterly frightened at the prospect. I pat his arm "No Charlie, we're going to find it, get our army, and then attack them" I reply. He lets out a sigh of relief "Oh! Alright, that makes sense I suppose".
We follow the footprints for what feels like miles, constantly looking around in case there are more scouting groups around. It isn't that long before we start hearing a lot of voices and are forced to seek cover, slipping through underbrush and hiding behind trees. Finally we come upon it, "It doesn't look like they've been here long, they must have just set up here" Charlie comments.
"They must be following us" I whisper in reply and he nods in agreement. We silently slip back a safe distance away from the camp, having seen enough, before running back to where our horses are tied and mounting up "We'll tell Jamie and attack at dawn. They won't even see it coming" Charlie says confidently. We turn our horses and gallop towards camp, all thoughts of a peaceful ride in the woods long forgotten.
When we return most of the camp is asleep, in fact I believe it's safe to say everyone, even the horses, are all asleep. Charlie and I make quick work of untacking our horses and cooling them properly. Once that's done we face each other, out of breath and exhausted. He gives me a lopsided smile "I'll wake Jamie and tell him what we found" he says. I kiss him "Bring something to use as a shield, I'm sure the major won't be too keen on having his beauty sleep interrupted" I tease. He chuckles at my comment before kissing me back "Good Night".
"Actually, I think it's good morning" I say, beginning to walk back towards my tent. He rolls his eyes "As if it matters!" he calls quietly. With that he turns and begins heading off to notify Jamie of the Germans. I crawl into my tent and quickly toss off my boots and camp before burying my face in my pillow. I can guarantee it won't be long before I'm forced up to fight.
Yes, James is gone, many others are dead too. But this is a war, and war won't stop to mourn for my friends and comrades. I suppose it will be in my best interest, as well as everyone else's, to simply move on from it. I'm sure Captain Nicholls would understand.
Sorry this chapter took so long to post, I had a ton of stuff to do in December, and now my school's musical has started production this week. Chapters should be coming more frequently now, as I am incredibly determined to finish this! Would like to keep it to about 20 chapters, but we'll see.
Would like to give an extra special THANK YOU to Eternel3007 who has taken it upon herself to translate this fanfiction into french. It's really awesome, you should check it out!
Thank you so much for the reviews! Keep em coming! They're like motivational cookies for ma soul! Also, as always, Thanks for reading!