Chapter Four
Not Even In My Dreams
John Egbert / Rose Lalonde
Rated: E
I never met you. Not even in my dreams. I always wanted to, man... When I fell asleep, I'd hold on to our conversations and wish I could see you, I'd focus on pictures I'd seen of you, so far away in your forest house with your mom. So strange how secluded you always lived, and yet you were still so sociable with us.
When I dreamed, it was movies or harlequins, and later, Prospit. But never you. You were never there, no matter how badly I wanted you, or needed you. When times were getting hard, I was always hoping I'd open my eyes and see you smiling there, that sarcastic snarky grin you wore in your pictures. You'd say something like, "C'mon, sleepyhead, get up – we have a world to save" and I'd follow you to the end of the world, but it never happened. I never woke up and saw you there, you were never there to comfort me and let me comfort you... though you were never the one to be comforted, were you?
No, you were always the one to psychoanalyze us (whatever that means) and help us get through our own problems. You were indirectly there, all the time, helping us through our issues and making us make ourselves better people – but what about you? You always talked about your passive-aggressive mom and your issues with your cat Jasper or whatever, but you never let us in. Never let anyone in. Maybe that's why we're here. Or maybe I don't know what I'm talking about – both very probable possibilities.
I keep hoping I'll close my eyes and wake up at home, in bed, that this was all a bad dream. Heck, maybe it still is... I just don't know. It sure seems like a bad dream. People have died – heck, I died once – the horrorterrors, you all... grimdarky. I don't know what all is going on anymore, but it seems like I just keep falling deeper into a bad dream. Maybe if I wake up, things will be okay, and we can meet like I always dreamed we would. Not like this.
Rose... I always wanted to see you. Always. Your pictures held me in the grip of something I'd never felt before. More than friendship, more than just liking you. It was something else altogether. Just seeing you, talking to you; I wanted to meet you so bad. The one time before that I saw you, you were asleep on LOLAR and I was passing through. So little time has passed and yet so much as changed since then. What's become of us? What has the game turned us into?
Jeez, Rose, I thought we were gonna play a relaxing game. SBURB was supposed to be a way I could get closer to you without having to dodge around all that edgy "talking" stuff, we could just play and be happy together, you know? And now what are we? I'm a mythical hero and you're some beast of legend...
Rose. I never met you. Not even in my dreams. But now what's happened? Here we are in the castle of the black king, I'm the Heir of Breath and you're some messenger of the horrorterrors at the edge of the galaxy, following a mission of revenge for something I can't even understand you talking about. Here we are, I can finally see you, finally meet you, finally talk to you and I can't even understand a word you're saying. The saddest part? This is the happiest I've ever been, Rose. I'm so happy to finally meet you.