Kate shook her head. "Why'd you bring her with you?" She sighed. "Did you think it was more likely that I'd come back if you had her with you, because y'know, I was only popping out."
Rick shook his head. "You scared her Kate. You all but told her you weren't coming back."
"I wasn't sure I was." She told him honestly, crossing her arms over her chest in a protective gesture.
"I can understand that." Rick sighed.
"You know I would have come back though, if not tonight, I would have come back."
"Of course, all your stuff's there." His joke fell flat when Kate shook her head.
"Not for that. Rick, I wouldn't abandon Alexis like that. Shit Rick, even if I hated you, I'd still make a point to come see her. She's had enough abandonment from her own mother; she doesn't need it from me as well."
Rick's heart swelled a little at that. "I know. I know you wouldn't abandon her Kate. Hell you'd probably see her more than Meredith does."
Kate gave him a very small smile.
"That's," he paused, "that's what would make you such a great mom." He sighed.
"But, you don't want that, right?" Her voice was as tiny as he'd ever heard it and shook so much it almost wasn't worth it.
"Kate, I didn't mean to imply that you should have an abortion." He told her plainly.
Kate flinched but he carried on, she needed to hear it as much as he needed to say it. He had to lay all his cards on the table if he had any chance of getting her back.
"I'm sorry it came across that way, but I didn't intend for that to be your takeaway. Mostly, because I would never ask that of you. If we break up tonight, and you still want that baby Kate, I won't ever stand in your way. I'll support you and that baby in whatever way you see fit. But you're twenty. Today. Shit it's your birthday." He murmured more to himself than her. "You're twenty Kate, and we aren't even engaged. We have no stability in our relationship.
"What if, in a year from now, you get bored with being so weighed down. You go to school, or work, or even to a coffee shop and you meet someone who fascinates you. Who you can't help but fall in love with. But you can't do anything about it, because you're tethered to me by a baby. That isn't something you can just walk away from, but I could be. You could be Alexis' awesome Aunt Kate, and still see her all the time, I'd never stop that, but a baby? Not so easy.
"Kate, you are extraordinary, and it baffles me, everyday, that you ever chose me. Because honestly Kate? You could have anyone you pleased. Handyman to royalty, all you'd have to do is smile and they'd be falling at your feet."
Kate scoffed but he shook his head, gently cupping her cheek to wipe away a stray tear before moving back again. He couldn't touch her, he'd never be able to let her go.
"I mean it. You're stunning, and amazing, and gorgeous and funny and brilliant and beautiful. You're you Kate, and that is really extraordinary, whether you believe it or not." He finished pointedly. "So why the hell would you choose me? I thank my lucky stars everyday that you did though. Every single day. But I would never want to be with you and wonder if you're happy. Wonder if you're staying with me for our child's sake, because that doesn't work Kate."
"You know I think the same about you, right?" Kate sniffed quietly, wiping her eye with the corner of her sleeve. "You're a writer Rick. A brilliant one." She elaborated off his confused expression. "You've touched thousands of lives with your words, saved me and countless others. And I'm what? Barely an adult, basically an orphan, with no college degree, no plan, and hey, not even a roof over my head without you. Why would you ever pick me?
"But when I'm with you," she paused, gathering every ounce of courage she held in order to say this out loud, "when you look at me Rick, when you touch me, I feel like I am all of those things. Beautiful, brilliant, funny. Rick you make me feel like I am those things. Because you make me feel special." Kate's voice broke but she soldiered on. "You make me feel loved."
Rick swallowed, hard.
"I knew I wanted this baby from the moment I found out. Because they were yours. Because I love you and I want a family, a proper one, with you. But I was so scared, for all the reasons you just listed. Because we are young and we aren't engaged and because also, Alexis is so young and you have enough drama there, without me adding to it. Plus, I know how much Meredith hates the fact we're together, and I just know a baby will be a bone of contention with her, and I have a feeling that it'll cause problems for you with her. But, this is our baby Rick." Kate lowered her voice to a decibel Alexis couldn't hear from the car. "One you never need to question, one you know, without a shadow of a doubt, has your blood running through their veins." She smiled at him shyly. "I wanted to give that to you. Not because you're lacking it with Alexis, but because I wanted you to have something, something half as amazing as what you've given me in the time we've spent together.
"You saw me, with all my jagged edges, and made me smooth. You made me fit, and Rick, you have done more than you could ever know. And I want nothing more than to give you a little piece of that back."
She shook her head and took his hand in her own.
"We've both said things, done things, that we shouldn't. I mean, fuck Rick, I slapped you and that's never okay, despite how hurtful and thoughtless what you said was. But I want this Rick. I want you."