To Love and to Love Again Chapter 32: The Sound of Truth
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER AND AUTHORS NOTE: I do NOT own Naruto. The awesomeness of the Naruto Manga and World is the creation of Masashi Kishimoto. This is Purely Fanfiction. All things Medical in this entire fanfiction should not be taken as serious medical advice or facts. PLEASE CONSULT AN ACTUAL DOCTOR FOR ANY MEDICAL INFORMATION/QUESTIONS. THANK YOU AND ENJOY!
This wasn't the first night in which Kakashi realized that one did not have to be on the brink of death to see their lives flash before their eyes, but it certainly felt like it. He saw every moment of his life from the minute she was born to the moment she confronted him.
All of her childhood that was painstakingly built by the shadows of the dangerous life he lead crumbled before him, leaving only her burning green eyes demanding the truth.
"Tell me…," Sakura said with piercing eyes. "This…" she said holding up the book "…is Sai's confession… so I don't need you to confirm it. But I need you to say it."
Kakashi was at a loss for words. The loss of his standing in Sakura's eyes weighed heavily on him, and he knew that no crafty lies or hasty denials would do him any good. The book she held in a death grip would negate all he said. Nothing could be more dangerous than that damned book. He couldn't lie to her any longer.
"When I was a child I was approached by an organization that recruited me for both my advanced intelligence and physical capabilities, in hopes of becoming an asset to them," he began. "I accepted, I trained, and I excelled. I've been called to protect and serve the people of this country from things that have never seen the light of day because of what we do to stop it. What we do requires a great many sacrifices. We keep our missions and our lives in the shadows…even from the ones we love."
Sakura stood as still as a statue, absorbing everything and holding on to herself as he continued.
"I am Hatake Kakashi, Commanding Leader of the CIA," Kakashi confessed with still and unwavering eyes at the sight of her taking it all in. He couldn't read her at all. She was deathly still with her eyes devoid of all emotion and her countenance unresponsive as he exposed the secret of his true identity. She was scaring the living soul right out of him. Never in his life had he seen her still or unpredictable.
"I've told you countless lies and kept you closed off from the world as the dark and dangerous place that I know it to be," he continued. "I've seen the worst of what humanity has to offer and then some; limitless evils so unimaginable that we ourselves must be kept secret to keep those evils secret. But there is one solid truth that I have never denied you Sakura," he said moving a step toward her. "You are my daughter, and nothing, not even your lost faith in me, will stop me from loving you and protecting you the only way I know how."
Sakura stood and stared as he made his confession. This was her father. He was her whole world before Sai and Sora. Never once in her life did she think something like this was even possible. But here he was, laying it all down before her as she forced his hand. She knew what she was asking, and she would bear the consequences.
"…did…my mother…" She couldn't get the rest of the words out. Kakashi didn't need her to do so in order to get the message.
"She knew," he replied, watching her carefully as he spoke. "I didn't have to hide it from her…because your mother was also a CIA Agent. More than that, she was a medical doctor on the verge of becoming the next Tsunade. Both of us agreed that you were not to be told of this," he said noticing the change in her demeanor all of the sudden. She shifted back slightly as a new flame developed in her eyes.
"…Tsunade? Is she also…" she whispered, and Kakashi realized his slip. "Are you telling me that Tsunade, the same Tsunade that taught me everything I know about medicine is with the CIA as well?"
Kakashi closed his eyes briefly, cursing himself for his lack of control before nodding. When he opened his eyes he saw her stance was more aggressive. "Who else?"
"Sakura I can't give them away," he said evenly.
"WHO ELSE?" she shouted. "If I found out about you it's only a matter of time before I find out about the others. Tell me who else I know, that I don't really know."
"I can't" he repeated firmly.
"Can't or won't?" she shot back. "Didn't I ask you if you would tell me everything I wanted to know? Didn't I ask you if you would tell me things that you thought were on a need to know basis? How is protecting their identities going to better me?"
"Sakura…I know you're angry at me and I know you're confused and hurt, but that is precisely why I can't tell you anything more. You don't understand the severity of this situation we're in right now. I am not keeping this from you because I don't trust you. I'm doing this for your own protection."
"By keeping me in the dark? It's a little too late for that now that I know this much about you and that can't be erased," she said looking at him. When he didn't say anything, she began to shake her head. "Oh God you don't have some kind of mind erasing device on you do you?" Had the situation not been so serious, Kakashi would have laughed at that.
"The CIA is not what you see in the movies. We don't have mind numbing devices, but we have our methods," he warned. "Sakura, in light of this situation I will tell you what I can. But please try to understand the delicacy of this. I know it's asking a lot of you right now but I need you to try to trust me on this."
Now Sakura could have laughed. Trust was so far gone he had no idea.
"I'm still your father," Kakashi reminded when he saw the unwillingness in her eyes. "Now that you're a mother I know you understand what a parent would do to protect their children. You have no idea the dangers my life has placed you in but I need you to trust that what I did, I only did to keep you safe," he said as he took her face in his hands.
The tears came rolling down her eyes. Funny, she thought she ran out of those a while back. But as her father stared at her and pleaded with her to trust him, she was lost. She just didn't know what to do anymore. She didn't want to trust him. She didn't know who she could really trust. How many others were out there? Why wouldn't he tell her? This was so much to take in, and she had never felt more alone.
But when Kakashi pulled her into his arms and held her tight, she felt just like a kid again, hugging her daddy after a hard day of troubles. And just like that the memories of growing up with him flooded her brain. She remembered that through it all, he was still her father. But the restlessness in her would not settle and the anger would not subside.
She pulled away, determined to get her voice heard as she wiped the tears angrily away.
"I don't trust you. I don't trust you at all right now," she said, crushing him. "Apparently, I couldn't even trust my own husband!"
"Sakura, Sai was never supposed to-''
"What?" she interrupted. "Never supposed to what? Leave a book of secrets behind? Was he supposed to destroy everything in a burn-after-read manner so that I wouldn't find it?"
Kakashi summoned his strength, willing himself to say what he had wanted to say to her all those years ago. "…He was never supposed to get this close to you."
Sakura paused. Her face fell into a sort of neutral state; not dead, but not alive either. His daughter was always smart. Her brain was always a step above the rest and Kakashi knew that that superior mind of hers was processing and decoding the very simple sentence he had just spoken.
Until now, Sakura's mindset was set that Sai lead a double life because of the CIA. But now she was thinking he did it because of her, and more precisely…because of her father.
"… Close to me?" she whispered. "He was never supposed to get close to me?"
The unwanted realization clawed its way into her sponge-like brain. The water was getting muddier by the minute. "Sai and me, we were…I met him…"
She thought back to the two of them and remembered. She remembered how he was never far from her, and how she never understood nor questioned his constant presence. She looked at her father and remembered his constant absence as well. Putting the pieces together, she sucked in a breath and asked.
"Because of you," she whispered. "I met him because of you…didn't I?" she asked, not wanting to know the answer to that. Kakashi didn't respond, and it was in these times where his silence spoke louder than any words could. Sakura's eyes burned with tears she forced back.
"W…was I just some…assignment for him?" she asked. When Kakashi didn't immediately respond again, Sakura nearly dropped the book she had been clutching in a death grip.
Thinking about it now, she had to wonder at the timing of Sai's arrival into her life. She was only sixteen then. He transferred into her school and stuck to her like glue ever since. Things didn't get romantic until later on, but Sai never quite fit into the picture. Sai and emotions were never a good mix until later as well. A complete feeling of sickness simmered at the pit of her stomach at the dark trail her thoughts were carving.
Steading herself, she looked up at Kakashi and waited for an answer.
Kakashi thought she looked as delicate as the Sakura blossoms that were her namesake. Beautiful, but so very fragile a small breeze could break it off the branch. The truth would break her completely.
"My enemies were great in numbers," he responded. "Though I tried as hard as I could to keep my identity a secret, they found ways to uncover the truth. It didn't take them long to find my one and only weakness in my young daughter. I took no chances with your life Sakura, and I eliminated anyone that knew about your existence," he said, making her shudder at the subtly of his meaning.
"But as we entered the technology age, I realized that crimes of a certain nature were only escalating. We were up to our necks in missions. As I rose through the ranks, my responsibilities grew as did the dangers that came with it. I found myself spending more and more time away from you and it wasn't long before I realized that I couldn't protect you myself anymore."
"The threats kept coming," he continued. "You have no idea how many attempts have been made on your life," he said, and only then did her anger dissipate enough for her to really listen to him. "I was able to prevent most from even following through with their plans, but there was one time I wasn't able to."
"…When?" she asked. She never recalled any time when she was ever in any kind of danger.
"We were dealing with a group that was developing highly toxic weapons overseas. The toxins were a mixture of chemicals we didn't even know existed. I was leading the case and managed to take down the organization, but not before they were able to strike back at me. When you were fifteen, they poisoned you with it while you were at school."
Sakura shook her head. "But I don't remember-"
"That's because you passed out from the fumes before the Agent assigned to you stopped you from drinking it!" he said, frustration building again from remembering the incident. "They put it in a damned water bottle that you had gotten from a vending machine! The solution was so strong and the perfect poison because it was colorless and had a sweet scent. Anyone could have assumed it was sugar. The only thing is its high acid levels that you only notice once you've already passed out. It was strong enough to burn a hole through your body should you drink it."
"But…how could they have known I would get that bottle? How can I not remember that?" she asked.
"This is how dangerous the enemies I face are," he said dangerously. "This is how close they can get to our loved ones should we not take the precautions that we do. You didn't get that water bottle. It was given to you by one of your classmates."
Shock infiltrated her body. One of her classmates gave it to her?
"A student? But how-"
"She was no student. Don't think for a second that national criminals are all adults Sakura, because you'll find even the most unlikely of people and age groups can be involved with crime. She was a girl named Kin Tsuchi, do you remember someone like that?" he asked.
Sakura thought back to her second year of high school. She did remember a girl called Kin that transferred in and out just as quickly. Sakura remembered the girl with long black hair that had a thing for bells and these long needle things she used in her hair. Sakura asked her about it once, and she claimed they were knitting needles, though Sakura thought they were too sharp for such a purpose. She didn't remember ever getting anything from her though, and that was right around the time Sakura was out of school sick with a bad flu. Kin transferred out after that.
"I was sick when she left," she said. Kakashi shook his head. Now that she remembered, it was a good chance to explain that event.
"You weren't sick. You were unconscious for almost a week," he said. "Kin was a fifteen-year-old criminal involved with an organization called 'Sound'. She was sent to your class with the sole intention of killing you. That was no flu you endured. You're a doctor. Think back and remember what you suffered and you'll find that that was not the flu."
She did think back, and now that she thought about it she realized that a flu wouldn't leave her as debilitated as she was then. But how could she have survived something like that? As if reading her thoughts, Kakashi continued.
"Kin was a young and naive Sound operative," he explained. "One of her biggest flaws was being overly confident in her abilities. She was supposed to lace the water with enough poison so you would drink it without noticing anything was off. Kin put in so much poison that you passed out from the fumes alone before you could drink any of it. Her mistake saved you from getting killed."
"We took care of Kin, and instead of death, you suffered from blood poisoning. It took Tsunade everything she had to revive you from it. The Agent watching over you brought you to the CIA base immediately because he knew your life was hanging by a thread. Once Tsunade stabilized you, I took you home and waited for you to wake up. Tsunade wasn't given enough credit. Not only did she save you from any permanent damage, she was able to create the antidote for the toxic material, effectively helping us put an end to its production."
Sakura could barely speak. "I…I was almost…"
"I nearly lost you that day," Kakashi said as he grabbed her shoulders. "And I knew then that I couldn't take any chances with your life. You're my daughter and the only reason I had to live. No matter what the cost I would stop at nothing to make sure you were kept safe…but it had to be done discreetly."
Sakura harnessed all her energy to stop shaking. Knowing you were so close to death and barely escaped would do that to a person.
"This was more than the average mission with the average Agent," Kakashi explained. "This was taping into Black Ops. There was one Agent who was brought to me that fit all the right criteria and had the skillset to function in this changing world. He was among the elite in a specialized division of Black Ops known as ROOT."
"Sai," she whispered. Kakashi nodded.
"Sai was the Agent I chose to be your guardian in my absence. He was transferred into your school and assigned to your class. His sole mission was to always be near you and protect you from harm while I was away."
She remembered the day Sai transferred in. She remembered how she was freaked out by the strange new student who was pale as hell with dark depthless eyes and a fake smile that put her on edge. She also remembered how he was seated right next to her… and how he never left her side.
"You were his mission, and only his mission," Kakashi stated, watching her break. "Sai always completed the tasks assigned to him without question and you were no exception…but there was something I had never thought to consider," he said forcing her to look him in the eye.
"I never stopped to realize that you were growing up," he said miserably. "After a few months, I noticed a change in Sai; one that I did not appreciate. I finally realized that Sai saw you as more than a mission. You became his reason for living. As much as I wanted to kill him for it at the time, I want you to know that Sai loved you in his own way."
Sakura pulled away and shook her head as the hurt came out.
"I can't," she cried. "I can't believe that anymore. I can't believe anything from you anymore," she said as she fell to her knees. Kakashi moved to hold her but she pulled away. "How could he have loved me if I was just a mission for him?"
"That's exactly what I asked myself in the beginning," he replied. "That was why I was so against the two of you from the start. I didn't believe that he knew what love was or that he knew you enough to love you. His life was just like mine and you would only be in the cross hairs of both our dangers."
She looked up at him, broken. "That's why you tried to keep us apart," she realized.
"He knew the dangers of your life. He fought any of them that managed to get close enough. But somehow, the line between mission and life blurred for him…and there came the day where Sai confessed his intentions with you," he said as he remembered the day with clarity.
"Your mission to protect Sakura is to cease immediately," Kakashi said to Sai in the Kyoto base. Sai didn't give any indication of accepting the order. He simply stared at Kakashi as he read the underlying meaning behind his words.
"Have you found a replacement for her then?" Sai asked.
"That is none of your concern," Kakashi replied stiffly.
"I have been guarding Sakura for the past two years. Her safety is my concern," he stated.
The Commander narrowed his eyes. "Not any longer."
Sai knew it was time to make his intentions known, even though he was certain Kakashi knew. It seemed like he needed to hear it.
"I will not comply," he said to Kakashi's surprise. "I will not stop protecting her, regardless of what you say."
"It's an order, and you don't have a choice," Kakashi stated.
"I don't take orders from you or anyone anymore when it comes to Sakura," Sai said without hesitation. "Don't act like you don't know what I mean Kakashi," he added.
"And don't pretend like you don't know what that means for you Sai," Kakashi said harshly. "Stay away from my daughter," he ordered.
Sai gave him his signature fake smile. "I'm afraid that's the one thing I can no longer do. I've come to discover that she's not just a mission anymore."
"She is nothing more than that for you! Remember that Sai," Kakashi warned with deadly intent.
"I love her," he said plainly. "And I won't let her go. Not now, not ever," he said right before Kakashi punched him in the jaw, sending him flying toward the wall. Sai got up and wiped the blood off his face with his gloved hand.
"I won't stop loving her. You just have to accept that," Sai continued. No sooner had he finished that sentence that Kakashi sent the next blow to his stomach this time. It continued for about five minutes, before they finally attracted the attention of the other Agents.
Asuma was the first to tackle Kakashi to the ground, followed by Guy and Yamato. Some of the younger Agents went to assist Sai with Naruto being one of them. Kakashi couldn't see reason that day and was ashamed to admit that he had to be sedated. When he came to after that, Sai had gone back to Sakura… but not before he had resigned from the CIA.
The next day Sakura had come to see him at his home; her hurt and anger at what he had done to Sai evident in her voice. Sakura effectively declared her love for Sai as well, knowing that he did not approve. He saw the way she looked when she talked about him, and Kakashi knew that she honestly believed herself to be in love with him. There was nothing he could do short of locking her up, and knew the game was up when she told him about the wedding.
"I know I'm young," she said to him. "And I know you don't believe that I know what love is, or that I'm ready for it, but I don't want to be without him. I love him daddy. Please come and see me marry him…or don't see me at all."
He knew it hurt her to say that as much as it hurt him to hear it. When she left, Kakashi closed himself off from the world for a few days.
He did see her marry him, but he was still angry enough that he didn't want her to know he had. The anger continued and the extreme need to protect his daughter from the mistake she was making almost took over…until he found out through his own Intel that Sakura was pregnant…and that Sai was unaware of that fact himself.
The pregnancy was the only reason why Kakashi didn't kill Sai that day. It was also the reason why he accepted them. Things can change a man, and Kakashi knew his Sakura to be someone that had that potential. Sai would live…for now.
"That was the day he came back to me after you fought him," she said remembering the time Sai came back battered and bruised after her father had unleashed his fists on him.
Sakura had never truly forgiven her father for that. Kakashi's eyes darkened at the memory as well. It was one of the few times in his life where had truly lost control of himself. It took four Agents to pull him off of Sai before he killed him.
"I couldn't accept it," he admitted. "I couldn't accept the two of you together. I saw the change in Sai but I still couldn't let you go. I could have killed him that day, and it was only afterwards when I realized…he never fought back," he said looking away from her. "He never once raised his hand to me… and that was when I realized he truly meant to be with you."
Sakura covered her mouth with her hand as she choked back a sob. Her heart screamed at her life and the revelations. She saw her father move toward her again and she held up her hand, stopping him. "I need you to go. Just go," she said.
"Sakura he loved you, he really did," he said desperately.
"I don't know what he felt!" she shouted. "I don't know who he really was. I'll never know now," she said through broken sobs. "I don't know who you are. I don't know who anyone around me is including myself…but the worst part is that I don't know how I'm going to look at Sora and not remember how I have no idea who his father really was."
Kakashi couldn't say anything. There was nothing he could have said to make any of her hurt go away. He caused all of this, and seeing her wilt before him was worse than any pain he had ever known before.
"Please…just leave me right now," she said getting up off the floor. "I can't. I can't be around you right now so just go," she said looking away from him.
Kakashi hesitated. The last thing he wanted to do was leave her there like that, but he knew that staying would only anger her more. There was so much more he wanted to tell her, so much that he needed to ask and explain about Sasuke as well. But she needed time to process all of this and that was the least he could do for her.
"I love you Sakura. No matter what, that's the one truth you will always have from me," he said before turning around and walking out the door and into the storm.
When she heard the click of the door, she finally turned to stare at the spot where he had just been. It hurt. It hurt so much to say that to her father. The anger she felt couldn't mask the grief that came with it, but it was the anger that was driving her now; the anger and the betrayal.
Everything was falling apart around her. Sasuke was gone, Sai was gone, some crazy sporadic bastard was dangling her on a string of fear, and Sora and Suki were lost among this mess. She didn't know who to trust and she couldn't trust herself to hold it together long enough to figure this out.
She was so tired, but no matter how much she tried to rest she found her problems following her everywhere. They haunted her dreams and they were in every waking thought she had. Now she didn't know what to make of her past and her present was too much to process, let alone her future.
She stayed in the living room for hours and stared at the fire as the storm continued outside. She thought about everything she had learned tonight. She continued to think, long into the night.
A new Sakura was forming, and even she didn't know that outcome entailed.
Tsunade sat at her desk with a grave expression as Kakashi paced before her. He came to her right after his visit with Sakura. One look at his face told her that the secret was out at last.
"She knows," he informed. "She knows about me and about you."
Tsunade evaluated Kakashi carefully. He was a man trapped on both ends and one of them finally snapped. She knew this day would come.
"Who else is she aware of?" Tsunade asked.
"Only the two of us. Telling her any more than that would compromise her cover," he said, to which she shrugged. It seemed that even a single crack in the cover would eventually lead to complete discovery, but she would keep that to herself for now.
"How did I manage to slip out?" she asked curiously.
"I told her about her mother and I was too unstable to realize I included you into the mix," he answered. "Now she won't even talk to me."
"Well what did you expect?" she asked. "She's an emotional wreck right now and can barely process the everyday as it is. How did she find out exactly?"
Kakashi chuckled darkly. "Sai left his damned missions log in a box in the attic that she just happened to find. After his death we searched everywhere for any possible evidence he could have left behind of his time here. The whole time it was in his attic, hidden in plain sight of his belongings. How we missed it is beyond me."
"We'll give her time to pull herself together," Tsunade began. "But rest assured that the security detail on her will not cease. It's about time we spoke to her frankly about what's been going on here and what it is that we do for the country. You know it's time," she stressed when it looked like he would protest.
"I never wanted her to get involved with this," he lamented. "I wanted her to lead as normal a life as possible."
"Kakashi, you had to have known that was impossible with Sakura. Not because of your place here," she said indicating the CIA. "But because she was extraordinary from the minute she was born. Not even I could accomplish all that she has in her young life. Sakura was born from you and Rin because she was destined for greatness just like you were."
"Then why is my daughter wallowing in pain right now?" he asked. "What could I possibly say to her to justify all this? She doesn't even believe in her love for Sai anymore after she found out about the protection detail. There's no talking to her right now."
"Then we let her simmer for a bit," she settled. "Sakura is intelligent and she wants answers, no matter how much they hurt. She will come to us when she's ready. In the meantime we let her be and we make sure none of the other Agents reveal themselves to her."
Kakashi didn't like it, but he had no choice.
"I'll inform the others," Tsunade offered.
Shikamaru waited in the designated area as the others made their way over. He had gotten the call from Tsunade and was asked to inform the others in this new turn of events. He had to keep the Intel as secluded as possible, which is why he didn't tell Ino right away.
"Yo," Kiba greeted as he and the other guys approached. "What was so important it couldn't wait till morning?" he asked. Neji, Lee, Chouji and Shino followed behind.
"Where's Naruto?" Shikamaru asked.
"On the way," Neji answered. "He was at the base training and then bolted for Ichiraku's. We've got about ten minutes before he shows up. What's this about Shikamaru?"
"It's probably best we talk before he gets here," Shikamaru said looking at the people he trusted the most. "I've just been informed by Tsunade that Sakura found out about Sai's history with the CIA," he said, making everyone wake up at the news.
"Damn, that's problematic," Kiba said.
"How is that possible?" Neji asked.
"Apparently Sai left a book with details in it that she found in their attic. And when I mean details, I mean he didn't leave anything out. She cornered Kakashi earlier this evening and he didn't deny it," he answered.
"Who's been compromised?" Neji asked.
"She only knows about Kakashi, Tsunade and Sai. None of us were mentioned in Sai's book."
"That bastard," Kiba muttered, making everyone look at him. "What? I'm glad I'm not compromised or anything but it kind of rubs me the wrong way that Sai left us out. I know it's irrational so stuff it," he said when Neji glared.
"Why did you not want this discussed in front of Naruto?" Lee asked. "This is something he would want to know."
"Naruto's too close to Sakura to think clearly on this," Shikamaru answered. "It's come to the attention of the higher ups that Naruto's relationship with both Sasuke and Sakura could be a danger to our cover. He already harbors an immense guilt to lying to them about the CIA. Telling him about Sakura's awareness will possibly prompt him to reveal his role to her."
"He still needs to know," Kiba said. "From what I hear about that car incident, Naruto can only last so long before spilling his guts."
"Which is why Kakashi wants to tell him himself," Shikamaru replied. "For now, I called you all here to talk about our game plan from here on out. Some news has surfaced about Sasuke's possible whereabouts and for now he's priority one. There haven't been any more moves against Sakura since his disappearance, prompting us to think she wasn't really a target at all."
"Try telling that to Kakashi," Neji said. "You know he won't buy that. I certainly don't."
Shikamaru agreed. "Neither do I. We all know what the Sound Organization entails and we're not naive enough to think the group is completely down. We always have to assume there are rogue operatives in the shadows. Whether Sasuke fits into that category is what we need to investigate. Sakura will still be under protection, but be weary of her. She won't trust anyone now and if our presence is not needed, we will not rouse her suspicions anymore so."
"Try telling that to Naruto," Kiba said. "You know he won't care about the suits say. He's not going to stop being around her or stop trying to hunt down Sasuke."
"I'll let Kakashi deal with that," Shikamaru said. "In the meantime, inform Tenten and Hinata," he said to Neji.
"Why was my presence needed for this?" Shino asked. In truth, the other guys also wondered why Shino was summoned.
"I hear you've got something in the works in the form of a tracker beetle. I thought we could use that to get to Sasuke, should the theory of the insect hold," Shikamaru said.
"The theory is a proven fact now," Shino replied. "The Bikochu will track the object based on first inhalation of the scent. If we can expose the hatchling to Sasuke's scent, we can try to use it to find him."
"Just keep Naruto away," Kiba snickered. He was there the last time Shino experimented with the Bikochu. So was Naruto and the result was not pretty.
Shino began to release hostile energy at the memory. It took him three damn years to get another beetle. He'll be damned if he loses his chance this time.
Naruto made his way up to them at that point. He took one look at Shino and swerved to stand by Lee. Even he could feel the negative energy rolling off him.
"You started without me? What gives?" Naruto whined.
"Good evening Naruto!" Lee said giving him a salute.
"We have new developments in regards to Sasuke," Shikamaru answered. "Kakashi want's us at the base as soon as possible. He has something to discuss with you."
Naruto shrugged and together the guys went to find Kakashi. Shino walked ahead of Naruto, pausing to give him a quick look (or as much of a look as they could decipher based on the tall lab coat and creepy shades). Naruto hung back and nudged Kiba.
"What crawled up his ass all of the sudden?" he asked.
Kiba snickered once more. "It's what comes out of yours that bugs him," he said before giving in and laughing.
The next morning, Sakura did her usual routine of getting the kids ready for school. She made breakfast for them and waited for Naruto to pick them up. Her concern for Sora and Suki continued to grow. Ever since she told them about Sasuke, they had been more quiet than usual.
It was evident that they missed him but there was nothing she could do about it. She tried to be more attentive to them to make up for his absence. She tried talking to them more often, which she decided had its consequences when Suki asked her about dog reproduction at one point. She played it safe and gave them the stork theory.
She would sit and sketch with them, or watch Suki put on little ballet performances in the living room. She continued to watch their favorite anime with them and she even tried to get them involved with making dinner sometimes.
She hugged and kissed them both each night before they went to bed, making sure that they knew they were loved, regardless of Sasuke. The stability of home life was hanging by a thread. It transferred into work life as well.
They watched her as the days went by. She could feel them watching. There was a hardness about her that was noticeable to all who knew her well. To her patients, she was still the caring doctor who put them at ease and treated them like the medical prodigy she was.
But to all else, she treated them with a wall between them. She trusted no one and it showed. She even went so far as to analyze each one of them when they came up to her for a greeting. It was tiring, oh so tiring, and all she wanted to do was shut down.
A few weeks had passed since Sakura learned the truth, and Naruto wanted so much to come clean. She knew about them and he wanted her to know about him. He didn't want to lie to her anymore. But Kakashi had been firm that night. No one was to tell her anything until they had this all figured out. Kakashi specifically pulled him aside to get his promise that he would behave.
On the outside, Naruto put up a good debate on trying to convince everyone to spill the beans, but conceded in the end for Kakashi's sake. On the inside he had an even crazier idea; one that he dare not speak aloud to Kakashi. He wanted Sakura to join them.
He saw the potential she had to be a CIA Agent herself. That training session they had an eternity ago was still fresh in his mind. She had the strength, stamina, and mindset to be an Agent, and a good one at that. If they harnessed her abilities the possibilities were endless with her.
Then there was Sasuke. The bastard was still missing. Sakura's appearance, though still beautiful, showed the strain of that. It was like the energy was draining right out of her, even though the anger burned. Several times Naruto came close to pulling her aside and confessing, but everyone else was on to him and stopped him before he could get the chance.
"You have to be strong," Hinata told him the last time he tried to confess. "As much as you want her to trust you, you have to trust that this is what's best for her. Until we find Sasuke and whoever else is after her, we can't reveal ourselves."
Naruto hated it so much, but Hinata's pleas were enough for him to bury his intentions for now. Every now and then, the other Agents and would check up on each other to make sure Sakura wasn't too suspicious of them. So far she hadn't cornered anyone. Naruto managed to spot her walking toward them in the corner of his eye.
Had he not been watching her so closely, he would have missed how Sakura began to sway as she walked toward the nurse's station with some charts in her hands. He had just reached her when her legs gave out completely, sending her falling right into his arms.
She woke up a minute later to a panicked Naruto hovering dangerously close to her face.
"I'm fine," she said getting up.
"The hell you are! I will never believe that statement from you again," he said pulling her up. Hinata was right by his side with concern evident on her face.
"Sakura are you alright?" she asked. "Let me get Tsunade," she said as she moved to get up. Sakura's vice-like grip on her arm stopped her.
"Don't!" she said harshly. She released Hinata's arm and apologized for grabbing her like that. "I'll be fine. Just give me a minute," she said while rubbing her temples. The beginnings of a headache were making themselves known. That was the last thing she needed.
"Minute's up. I'm taking you home," Naruto said, making her glare. "You're going home. You know Tsunade will make you anyway so you don't have any choice," he said not noticing the way her eyes narrowed.
"No. I don't seem to have many of those lately," she said, putting Naruto and Hinata on edge.
"Sakura just let Naruto take you home," Hinata pleaded. "I know you have a lot going on, and if you want we can even take Sora and Suki for a day if you need the time."
"I don't need any time to recover and I don't want the kids far from me. Thank you, but I'll just take the day off," she said watching them closely. Hinata nodded and turned to leave, but not before Sakura noticed her give Naruto a look before leaving.
Soon after that Naruto drove her home, keeping conversation light as he did. Paranoia crept up on him as he noticed Sakura eye him from time to time, as if debating whether or not to confront him about her suspicions. She never did though and Naruto was almost disappointed for it.
Had she asked, he wouldn't have held back.
What did Tsunade think to accomplish by sending her home for a moment of weakness? Wouldn't she have been better off at the hospital where her secret Agents could keep an eye on her?
Sakura had her suspicions. They were her constant companions now. Several people made the list, none of whom she dared to confront should she be wrong. The less people that knew about the whole CIA business the better.
She decided to use her forced day off to pull herself together. The first order of business was a hot shower. She was tense and ached all over; classic signs of depression. And why shouldn't she be depressed? Her life warranted that diagnosis.
After working out all the kinks in the shower, she got dressed and decided to make something time-consuming for dinner. Keeping busy applied to home life as well as work life. She spent the better part of the day making several dishes and using up whatever was left in the fridge. She would need to go shopping soon. Once that was done, she went upstairs to gather the laundry.
She passed by Sora's room and slowed down before entering. Might as well start here, she thought.
She took a good look around the room and stared. Drawings littered the floor and most other surfaces. Sora had been busy with his art for the past few weeks. She never noticed it before, but lately his drawings seemed to be improving. There was a bunch scattered on his drawing table that she picked up and quickly flipped through. She definitely noticed a change in the technique.
Being married to Sai taught her a lot about art. Sai once told her that as an artist grows, the changes can be seen in their work. Sakura just attributed part of that to a more logical explanation. As the mind grew more focused and perceptive, so does the communication between the brain and hands. People didn't realize just how intricate the human hands were. With a complex array of muscles, ligaments, nerves and bones, the human hands were capable of anything and responsible for the human races way of life today.
An artist sees and draws, while a surgeon sees, cuts, and repairs. She was so lost among the drama that she hadn't stopped to realize Sora was getting better at drawing. Feeling the guilt of neglecting her son creep up on her, Sakura gathered all of the sketch books she could find and sat down on Sora's racecar bed.
His lines were sharper and his colors were more realistic. Sakura knew he was good at drawing, but this level of progression was impressive for a five-year-old. He was truly gifted, just like his father.
What would Sai say about Sora's drawings, she wondered. Would he have been proud? Would he have helped Sora perfect his technique? Would he have spent hours teaching him about all that art had to offer?
Did he love his son?
"Yes you did," she whispered to herself as the tears came once again. "I know you loved Sora," she said to the Sai in her mind. "And I know you loved me. I will never again doubt you on that. But you had to know that I loved you too…so much. Why couldn't you share this with me? I would have helped you, I would have been there for you if you needed me," she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
"Our son is growing up. I mean look at these drawings. I think our son would have surpassed you sooner than you think," she said as she flipped through the drawings. After a few times, her mind began to register certain things about those drawings.
She furrowed her brow as she flipped through the sketchpad as if it were a flip pad. All the drawings were different in colors and image, but there was a theme. They were the same character, over and over again: a tall white haired man with the same symbol on his arm. It looked like the lower case letter "d". She recognized this drawing from a while back. Sora said he was a ninja he came up with.
She heard the timer go off in the kitchen and gathered the drawings together to taking them downstairs. She checked on dinner and turned off all the burners before sitting down on the couch with the drawings. There was no mistaking that it was the same man. Why would Sora draw this man repeatedly?
Something about him was familiar too, but she just couldn't put her finger on it. Sakura took a moment to study the symbol on his arm: the letter 'd'.
"What does the 'd' stand for?" she asked. The phone rang, making her jump and knock over a pile of drawings, along with Sai's book that she left near the phone.
Cursing, she glared at the phone before decided to let the machine pick it up in case it was her father. She still wasn't ready to talk to him, and for all she knew her phone line was taped. She spent a good part of the previous few nights wondering what other aspects of her privacy had been invaded. The machine eventually picked it up.
"Sakura, I know you're home," said Tsunade. "I'm also aware that you know about me. We will talk when you're ready to do so. I'm not expecting you to be ready for some time, but on the off chance you are, you know how to get in touch with me. Don't let your emotions get the best of you. Whatever we did, we did for your safety," she said before hanging up.
Sakura frowned at the phone. She would need some serious therapy after this. She sighed and bent to pick up the mess on the floor. She paused when she noticed Sai's book had fallen open. She picked it up carefully and skimmed the page.
She had read that book front to back multiple times. Each time she did, the dangers of Sai's other life became more real. The page she was reading was about that man, that Orochimaru character that seemed to be the top bad guy throughout his career.
But it was then that she recalled what his organization was all about. Sai had documented how to differentiate members of Orochimaru's organization. They were branded…with a tattoo on their left arm. The next page showed a sketch of the brand, making her gasp and bring one of Sora's drawings and place it right next to Sai's.
"Oh my God," she whispered. It was the same symbol. Sora was truly Sai's child in every way.
That was no letter'd' that Sora drew. It was a musical note…the symbol for the Sound Organization.
Sora must have subconsciously been aware of that detail and was expressing his memories through his drawings. The people that were after her were from the Sound Organization! That must have been it. What other explanation could there be?
"But why?" she asked. "What do they want from us?" She flipped through Sai's book again, desperately seeking more answers from him. It was ironic that only after his death did she feel as if she was really speaking to him. This book told her many things about him, and now it seemed like Sai was walking her through the dangers of CIA life.
"Wait a minute…," she thought as she recalled something her father said. He said when she was fifteen, she was targeted by a girl from the Sound Organization. That was the group her father had been working to take down.
She flipped through Sai's book to the part that explained Orochimaru's dark organization and re-read the parts about his experiments. She found the part with the curse mark and read its contents.
This was how Sasuke was connected. He used to be a part of the Sound Organization! He had the curse mark and according to Sai, Orochimaru only placed the mark on someone he thought was strong enough to sustain life after an experimental body-transfer project.
Orochimaru's ultimate goal was eternal life, and at one point he thought that people strong enough to withstand the curse would be strong enough to withstand Orochimaru being transplanted into their body.
He meant to kill Sasuke…and take over his body? The very thought made Sakura nauseous and terrified at the same time. What kind of monster was Orochimaru? What kind of people really existed out there that the world was unaware of?
Perhaps her father wasn't so wrong about the dangers by association. According to Sai, Orochimaru was killed before the CIA could get to him, but what if this one of his minions was an enemy of Sai that decided to come after her? He had been gone for three years. What could have possibly made her a target after three years?
Was this what Sasuke had figured out? Was this why he had left her? All his ominous clues fit into what she now knew.
"There's so much you don't know…"
"…I'm not who you think I am…"
"You've already been put in danger more than you could ever know. I won't have you carrying on more than that because of me…"
"I've made mistakes. I was involved in something that you couldn't even being to comprehend. Now the past has come back and I won't have you caught in the crossfires any more than you already are. Sakura, what's happening to you has everything to do with me, whether he wanted it too or not…"
"Sasuke…," she whispered. "Oh Sasuke…what are you going to do?"
And what would she do for that matter? She had just made three important discoveries. Her father was in the CIA, Sasuke was their most wanted criminal, and the man that attacked her was from the Sound Organization.
But she knew she had to swallow her anger and go talk to her father. This was out of her hands now. "Time's up Sasuke," she whispered as the rain began to fall outside.
The smile on his face increased as he listened to her talk to herself about what she had just discovered. He knew his cherry blossom was smart. Time was almost up for her, but now it seemed like he would need to speed things up. He couldn't very well have her running to her daddy and telling him what she found.
Best distract her with something, and he knew just what to do. He glanced at the picture of the two raven haired children before crushing it in his palm and turning to his minion.
"Bring me the Uchiha Bratsssssss," he ordered.
AUTHORS NOTE:
Drama and Stuff!
Big shout out to all those anonymous reviewers who send me reviews. I have never had so many anonymous reviews before and new readers as well. Thank you guys for reading! I will update again in two weeks. Hang tight.