Chapter Seventeen

Extended Relaxation

Dirk Strider / Jane Crocker

Rated: M

Crossover disclaimer: The entirety of the Grand Shipping Challenge isn't a crossover, but this chapter is. Hope you don't mind! uwu

You pant softly, kneeling to wipe the sweat from your brow, deciding it time for a rest. Crawling through air ducts wouldn't be considered your favorite past-time, and while no one would say you were overweight, no one would say you were healthy and in shape either.

Though, one could argue no one would say anything to you at all anymore. As far as you could tell over the past few weeks, you were absolutely, one hundred percent alone in the facility.

"Oh, Jane, your mother called," an empty voice echoed through the halls below. "She really wants you to come out now. She says she misses you." Well. Almost alone.

You tighten the knot around your waist and heft the device on your arm as you continue through the ducts, grateful at least that these weren't monitored like nearly everywhere else. You smile as you pass a familiar sign - graffiti of a slice of cake in black paint. At least, you try to tell yourself it isn't dried blood.

You follow the scrawled arrows until you reach a kicked-in ventilation shaft, peering into the room below. The camera's light is orange and blinking - offline. You glance over at the dehydrated food dispenser and take a deep breath. You heft the device before you, getting a clear shot, firing quickly twice, once directly below you, and another near the machine against the wall. You drop from the shaft, falling through the hole in space-time, appearing near the dispenser, jamming the buttons quickly, eyes on the camera. The orange blinking begins to slow, and you know it's only a matter of time.

The dispenser pings loudly, the camera's light dimming to an ominous red as it recognizes the sound.

"There you are, Jane." Suddenly, her portals fizzle out. "I've learned some new tricks while you've been up in the ducts." Two portals - red and orange instead of her typical blue and purple - appear on the walls of the room, two bulbous, white objects appearing through them, a dim red light on the front.

"Fuck..." You scoop up the dehydrated food packets, shoving them into your jumpsuit and fire your portal gun. Click, click. "Fuck!" You begin at a dead sprint as the bulbous objects open at the sides, twin machine guns opening and taking aim.

"Target acquired," they note, simultaneously. You pant and barrel through the cafeteria door into the hallway as the door is ripped to shreds under a hailstorm of bullets.

"Please stay still, Jane." She ignored the cold voice, running through the halls, drawing in ragged breaths. She had only a few moments until more turrets were dispensed. "Stop, right now," the female voice demanded over the intercom. "You aren't going the right way, you know. I can show you the way out." Jane slowed and frowned. The voice was getting... fainter. She took a look around to find that the walls were decrepit and dirty. Her portal gun whirred to life once more.

She had no control here.

Leisurely, she ignored the incessant demands to turn back, strolling through the new, empty corridors where the air ducts didn't reach. Where GLaDOS couldn't hurt her anymore. She sat down in a hallway, smiling to herself and resting her head against the wall behind her.

"Safe..." she whispered softly. "Safe... I'm safe."

"No," a whisper replied, Jane's eyes flicking open. "It's not safe anywhere." She scanned the darkness of the corridor for the voice.

"Where are you?" she demanded, hefting her gun. "I'm armed! Show yourself!" The voice chuckled.

"Aperture doesn't manufacture weapons. Well, not anymore."

"Come out now!" In the darkness, twin triangles lit up with red.

"You're never safe." The triangles dimmed to darkness.

"W-wait! Come back!" She shot a portal behind her, into an area with light, firing another straight ahead, the light illuminating the empty hallway. She sprinted forward, into the darkness, blindly groping through empty corridors and echoing hallways until finally she felt something... spongy underfoot. She knelt, running her fingers along the ground.

"Vegetation..." she whispered excitedly. "The outside." She stood. "I'm almost out." She laughed out loud, running forward toward a door, outlined in light. "I'm almost out! I'm almost-!" She threw open the door, catching herself just barely against the door frame, the world in front of her dropping into nothingness. A room of indescribable size rose in front of her, full of huge, marked crates being shipped to and fro via magnetic rails. "Wh... what..." Suddenly, as she watched, a figure, dressed very similarly to her, although his jumpsuit was orange, not blue, swung along the rails, his portal gun latched onto it, glowing brightly. He grinned smugly behind a pair of triangular sunglasses - the same shape she'd seen before.

"Come after me," he called as he swooped by. She blinked, then raised her gun to the rail, pressing the button to pick up an object. Suddenly, the force yanked her forward onto the rail and she was zipping along behind the boy. Her breath left her and came back in full force as she arced and looped, the magnetic rails sometimes making figures that didn't even making sense for shipping purposes. Finally, she glanced over, the boy standing on one of the crates, arm outstretched. She reached out and took it, her portal gun lurching forward, almost dislocating her arm before she shut it off, the boy swinging her inside.

"Damnit," she swore, throwing her gun to the ground as she rolled her arm in its socket.

"Are you okay?" he asked, tossing his aside as well and moving forward.

"I'm fine," she replied, recoiling away from him. "I'm fine." He frowned, taking a step back and nodding.

"I'm Dirk," he said as he picked up his gun and moved through the room. She picked hers up and looked around, finding an odd bedroom-apartment within the box.

"What is this place?"

"The computers call it an 'Extended Relaxation Chamber'. Some kind of stasis, I guess." She nodded, setting her gun down and sitting on the bed. "I woke up in one of these. Some are empty, some have people in them." She looked at him.

"Other living people?"

"Yeah. Like us. But I can't wake them up - only the computer can. I was woken up because of an error." Jane nodded. "What's your story?"

"I... don't know. I woke up in the testing facility." His eyes widened.

"That deathtrap with the AI? Christ, how'd you survive?" She smiled, patting her portal gun. "Using their own weapons against them. Nice." He sat beside her. "Let me see your arm." She hesitated, then sighed, slipping the portal gun off her arm and stretching it out for his examination. He turned it over, then back again. "Hm."

"Hm?"

"It's a nice arm." She blinked, then blushed, pulling away. She glanced over at him and he took off his glasses, locking gaze with her. Her breath caught in her throat, his eyes a deep orange, like his jumpsuit.

"I- I-" she stammered, unable to compile the emotions roiling in her mind into words. He set his glasses next to his gun, moving forward and cupping her face. "Y-you're taller than me," she sputtered. Idiot, she cursed herself. You're taller than me? That's all you've got?

"Yeah," he replied with a smirk, kissing her softly. She melted into the kiss, something inside her igniting. Before Aperture, she wasn't exactly a social goddess, but after having been confined to the dull, matte white walls and the same grating voice of GLaDOS for months, the touch of another person was intoxicating. His hands moved to her waist and she tore her jumpsuit off from around it, lying back and pulling him with her. She could tell he felt it too.

Their lips meshed and she panted softly as his hands roamed her body. She craned her head back, his lips kissing and nipping along her neck. She'd never gone further than kissing with a boy, and now she wanted nothing more than the boy she'd met for not even an hour to take her. Suddenly, he pulled back, panting softly as he held himself above her, looking into her eyes.

"Is this- I mean, are you- Is this okay?" he asked softly. Her eyes grazed over his face, the soft spattering of freckles across his nose, his red-blonde hair, his focused and intense eyes, before reaching down, pulling his shirt over his head.

"Yes," she whispered in reply. He swallowed and nodded, pulling off her shirt, kissing down her bare chest as her fingers threaded through his hair. His lips and teeth played with her chest, licking softly and nibbling her nipples as he made his way back up to her lips, the kissing now more intense. She wiggled down, kissing his chest in turn and unfastening his pants as she kissed down his sides and mostly-flat stomach. He ran his fingers through her hair before grabbing her by the waist and throwing her up onto the bed.

She gasped as he tore at her pants like an animal, pulling them down past her legs and panting atop her, both panting, nude, for the first time in a long while. He finally met her gaze and kissed her softly, feeling her moan into his mouth at the kiss, then louder as he slowly pushed himself deep inside. She cried out, fingers digging into his back, toes curling in pleasure, both groaning and gasping until he had settled all the way inside her, hanging his head and panting from exertion.

"You... alright...?" she panted. His hand whipped up, gripping her hair and tugging, making her cry out, his other hand moving to her waist as he began to pump slowly. Her eyes rolled back, panting as she let him move, firmly and steadily thrusting deep inside her, filling her very being as her body tingled in excitement. She held him steady with one hand, the other moving to her breast, tweaking her nipple and arching her back into him as he pumped.

He grunted, pumping deep and hard, an animal caged for far too long, groaning as he slid in deep.

"S-so tight..." he muttered softly. She just swallowed and nodded as he continued harder, her hair splayed out on the pillow behind her. He gripped her hips and pumped harder, thumb moving to her clit, rubbing circles and making her yell and writhe. "I'm getting close..." he groaned. Her eyes fluttered about his body, suddenly very acute to every sensation. She could feel his chest as it rose and fell, the sweat from his brow as it dripped onto her chest, and his thick member expanding within her, threatening to rip her apart.

"Please," she whined, as her own body began to sear with pleasure, nearing her own peak. "Do it..." He met her eyes and cried out, pumping in deep a few times before yelling out loudly, her own vision going white as she screamed.

As the white faded, her sweat dripping from her brow, she looked around. She was inside a frosted glass capsule, her jumpsuit fastened tightly around her. What was going on? She looked around, beginning to hyperventilate.

"Thank you for assuming the Party Escort Submission Position," a mechanical voice droned as the capsule began flooding with a light green gas. She coughed and struggled, but couldn't move, her consciousness fading away quickly, until nothing remained.

Sorry I've been so busy lately! I love Dirk/Jane and I think the term "Portalshipping" was cute - due to their colors being the colors of the portal gun in Valve's "Portal" (if you didn't catch the crossover reference) - so, I wrote this!

I feel like it wasn't up to par with some of my other stuff, but I'm going to try to gain some momentum and get back into the spirit of smut! uwu