Chapter 8: Feeding Me Lines
As promised, Sam came to my room later that night. She entered hesitantly and at the foot of my bed while I connected my laptop to the television screen so that we could what some of my old movies. She sat there almost as if she were frozen. I had to admit there was a LOT of tension: so much it was almost tangible. I could feel the odd tension in the room. Every breath the entered and exited my body seemed labored, I was anxious as if I was waiting for something, I couldn't put my finger on what. Sam was already in my room like I wanted all that was missing was conversation. Leaving all unresolved feelings for Sam aside, I just wanted time with her; I wanted to form some sort of a connection. I just wanted her in my life again. So maybe I wouldn't pry for answers tonight; maybe I'd just get her to loosen up around me.
"Now for your viewing pleasure, I present to you... Benson Theatre!" I pronounced in a way too theatrical voice. Sam snickered slightly.
"Wow, after all these years you're still a nub." She murmured, shaking her head as she stared at the floor.
"You're a bit of a nub yourself Miss Lawyer Woman." I replied teasingly. She frowned in thought, contemplating what I'd said.
"Just because I'm smart doesn't make me a nub, it's how I act that reassures me that I'm in no way nubbish." As she spoke those words, it dawned on me that I really didn't know what her definition of "nub" was.
"What makes my actions nubbish?" I posed, and for the first time that night she looked up from her shoes and finally looked me in the eyes.
"Well," Sam said as she pulled one of her purple stilettos off, "you just have a nerdy geek tendency, that's all Benson. It's no big deal. Some women would even call you 'adorakable.'" Her second shoe hit the carpet, now exposing all ten of her little toenails that were coated in hot pink polish.
"Would you call me 'adorkable'?" I asked, air quoting the last word. She smirked and then shrugged.
"I'd call you a lot of things Benson." Sam sighed and looked past me towards the TV. "Are we going to watch something?"
"Oh yeah, the first one I wanted you to see was the very first movie I directed in college. We worked with the acting students and submitted our work in a national contest. We won, and it helped me get my internship which jumpstarted me to get where I am today." Sam nodded as she took in my words. "It has action; many guns and a couple of car chases." I nudged her gently with my shoulder and she shifted away from me.
"Before we get started though, can I ask you a favor?" She asked me nervously.
"Sure," I replied.
"Do you have a spare set of pajamas? I want to be comfortable." She asked. "I would really like to be comfortable, but my assistant didn't pack any … 'appropriate comfortable wear.'" I smirked and nodded as I went into one of the drawers next to me and pulled out my grey shorts and a blue t-shirt. I handed them to her, and she accepted them with an awkward yet grateful smile. "Thanks." Sam got up and used my bathroom to change. When she came back her hair was down and her disposition had changed; she seemed more insecure than the girl I'd seen with Carly the past few days.
"So now are you ready Miss Puckett?" I asked as I started the video.
"Sure." Sam now sat in the middle of my bed with her legs folded Indian style. I wanted to sit beside her, but when I saw the uncomfortable look on her face I didn't think that I should. I pulled a pillow from the head of the bed and lay down towards the foot of it. After a few moments she did the same. I figured she would; this was us years ago before she ran away.
Once she started to relax, it seemed she was really enjoying my movie. I would glance at her occasionally, mainly when she'd laugh or gasp. She made sure our eyes never connected and I was amazed. Sammy was never bashful. If there was one thing that had always been the same about her, it was her bluntness. I was surprised she hadn't said anything, but she just watched. I knew was going to have to force an opinion out of her. The movie ended, and now I needed to pick her brain.
"Well, what did you think?" I asked before the credits had even started rolling.
"It's good," she said slowly, "It's just... the main actors didn't really seem to love each other." I smirked; the woman was so damned observant.
"You're right, they didn't even like each other. In the beginning they were actually dating, but after the first week of shooting they broke up. I don't think they even shared one real kiss during filming; it was screen kissing all the way." I chuckled.
"Screen kissing? What's the difference?" Sam shrugged and sat back up.
"There's a big difference now in my movies. All the actors use real kisses, and as a director I prefer it. Back then, during this project, they had the option and it's like this: either they have to kiss, really and truly kiss, or if they are going to use a screen kiss, they need to make sure they are acting with passion so that the audience believes it's real. We almost lost the contest because of their split. Thank God I'm an awesome director that has excellent technical abilities." I smirked.
"Wow, way to pat yourself on the back," she scoffed, "but you still didn't answer my question Benson; what's the difference?" I sat up and met her stare, this was the opportunity I was waiting for. Either she was going to think I was a jerk and hate me forever or she was going to respond.
"I can't really explain it... could I show you? Do you mind?" I whispered as I gently placed my hands on either side of her face: her blue eyes dancing with excitement as I lowered my head to hers. She closed her eyes and I kissed her, and it was a screen kiss, which basically meant no tongue as far as I understood; plus it's extremely dramatized compared to the way a normal couple would kiss. After a few moments I pulled away a little. "That's a screen kiss, and this …" I reconnected our lips and kissed her the way I've been waiting and wanting to for years, if I was being honest with myself. I embraced her with all the passion I had, I connected our bodies, and then I felt her start to pull away. I released her: I'm not the type of man to force a woman into anything. Sam sat at the foot of my bed and took a deep breath.
"So that's the difference," I mumbled, face turning a little red.
"I already knew what a real kiss felt like genius!" She griped quietly.
"Really? I'm pretty sure I'd forgotten what a real kiss feels like." I commented and she scoffed. "Messing around is easy, but a kiss isn't real unless there's feeling behind it... not for me anyway. So really, I guess anytime I press my lips to yours it's a real kiss, because Sam: I never got over you." She looked at me as if I'd insulted her.
"I'm not having sex with you Freddie!" Now it was my turn to look at her like she was crazy.
"WHAT? I didn't ask you to! I was just saying that, and-" she cut me off before I could speak further.
"You were just feeding me lines. You've always been so damned good with words. Even when we were in high school you were good with them, on the fire escape, in court yard, on elevator, each and every time such excellent word play. Every time you'd reel me in, but I'm a grown mature woman and I will NOT be sucked in like this again." She got up to leave, but before she could even reach the door I stopped her.
"Sammy, I've never fed you a line." I turned her toward me and I saw her eyes glisten with tears.
"You can't possibly mean what you said." Her voice cracked. All I could think was that I had never in my life seem seen her so vulnerable.
"Of course I do, there's no woman in the world that can compare to you. Samantha Puckett, that in itself makes you incredibly hard to get over and impossible to forget." I brushed her hair out of her faced as she took a couple of deep breaths and tried to collect herself, but she seemed to be failing.
"Sammy, you are the only woman I've ever really wanted you need to know that. Seeing you again only makes me realize how much I missed you and how badly I want you." I connected my forehead to hers.
"Look, please don't do this, we should both know better. It never ends well. We both need to let go. Please, for me?" She spoke, placing her hands on mine only to assist me in removing my grip. "I need some air." She smirked a little, trying to stay tough, but her eyes held sadness within them. I however was only left with frustration. How could she love me and not want anything to do with me? Fate had brought us back together, and I wasn't going to let go that easily. At the very least, I needed a definite answer. I need to, and intend to know the real reason she left me before Carly's wedding is over!
Author's Note: Hey all its been a long time. I hope you like the chapter were getting really close to the reveal of Sam's secret. Then we'll have a whole bunch of new drama to deal with. Until next time, read and review and no flames! PS- a big thanks to my new beta for working with me!