I feel empty, but full. It's kind of confusing. This shouldn't have happened, but somehow, it did. Was I stupid for trying to get him back? Maybe. I just feel so overwhelmed that I can't see straight, like the world is a blurred maze I have to try and escape from. But I can't. This whole mess is too complicated. It just seem like, since we broke up, we've had a collection of moments when we could-should- have got back together: Our phone talk at sectionals, Ice Skating at Christmas, our make out and... stuff in the car at Will and Emma's wedding...
And yet we're not back together. That must mean that he doesn't love me. That must mean it's over. I need to admit it to myself: He's not interested. It hurts, but it's time to be truthful to myself. I still love him, I'm devoted, but he doesn't love me back. So I guess it's over between us. I need to move on, I know I can move on.
But I don't want to.