Warning: Trigger warning for mentions of abuse and trauma.
Cause I would die to make you mine
Bleed me dry each and every time
I don't mind, no I don't mind it
I would come back 1000 times
~1000 times by Sara Bareilles
Gladys took what felt like the 100th awkward sip of water as she sat at the table with Kate's family. Gabriel sat across from her as he absent-mindedly played with the napkin holder, rolling it back and forth between his fingers. Seymour could hardly sit still beside her as his feet kicked out and swung underneath the table, while Kate's mother sat at the front of the table and repeatedly glanced between the front door and the clock on the wall.
Gladys thought the room actually felt small with just the three of them sitting in it. Apparently, the old home had been turned into temporary housing for mostly war workers with its residents all pulling night shifts that night, leaving the house empty and lonely feeling. The over sized table made Gladys feel boxed in as she shifted in her chair and tried to not think of how close the walls felt around her.
"Mother, why can't we go ahead and eat?" Seymour asked, eyeing the bread that was surely cold by now.
"We're going to wait on your sister. We haven't ate as a family in some time and we will rectify that tonight."
Gladys looked at the candle in between she and Gabriel as its hot wax slowly dripped down, reminding her that Kate was almost an hour and half late. The darkness around them made the night even more awkward. Not ten minutes after arriving for the dinner, the blackout sirens sounded out, leaving them no choice but to sit in the dark to wait for Kate. They were able to find a few old candles to give off just enough light for those around the table to see each other, but the only thing they really revealed were three people who weren't sure what to do or discuss.
It would have been less awkward if Betty had been there tonight too, but Gladys now realized that ship wasn't going to sail anytime soon. She and Betty had quite the row over the suggestion she come along, which then turned into an argument about her friendship with Arlene that quickly went down hill. It was just another topic that Gladys realized was off limits to her as well. The way her friends kept so many things to themselves drove her crazy sometimes.
"Do the blackout drills usually last this long?" Mrs. Rowley asked.
"Sometimes," Gladys said, thankful for a new subject. "Depends on the situation. In order to emulate a real invasion, whether by air or land, they conduct full-scale lock downs procedures. I suppose they're preparing us for longevity. From what I've read in the papers, our friendly neighbors across the pond are sometimes pounded by the Luftwaffe in droves. Hitler doesn't to rest for the weary it seems."
"Yeah," Seymour piped up. "But our boys in blue could take 'em. Why, we'd give 'em the one-two punch and Hitler's bandits would never know what hit them. They wouldn't stand a chance once they entered our air zone."
Gladys laughed at the young, optimistic outlook of the boy beside her.
"I quite agree, Seymour," She said, ruffling the younger boy's hair. "Say, did Kate ever tell you of the time we helped capture an escaped Nazi?"
"Nazi?" Seymour said with wide eyes. She noticed even Gabriel looked up with interest.
"Oh my, please do tell us," Mrs. Rowley urged, noticing her oldest peaked interest as well.
"Well, it was mostly Betty who did the capturing, but Kate and I were there when it all went down. He had stole away in Kate and Betty's basement after escaping a POW camp. It was all very exciting, just like it was right out of a Cagney picture."
"Wow," Seymour said with big eyes. "I can't wait to tell the boys at school."
"Oh, so do you enjoy school?"
"Oh yeah, absolutely. I've got lots of friends. Don't like the math too much though or the spelling, but the best part is they let us play baseball every day. Even Gabriel likes playing ball, isn't that right, Gabey?"
"Shut it, pipsqueak," Gabriel grumbled, his cheeks reddening at the attention. "I do not."
Gladys smiled at the two boys. "Oh, I love playing baseball."
"You do?" Gabriel asked, surprised. "But you're a girl."
"Well, yeah, doesn't mean I don't mind a little dirt in the skirt. I use to play with my brother when I was younger… well, okay so it was more like I watched them play, but I always thought it would be fun to play if he'd ever let me in the game."
"Boy, do I ever know what that's like," Seymour sighed exaggeratingly.
Gladys chuckled. "Gabriel, what's your favorite position?"
"Second base, but I play catcher most times because I'm not afraid of the batter."
"He can really smack that ball too. Last spring, he hit three homeruns."
"Gee, that's something," Gladys smiled at the boy across from her. "You keep that up and you'll be signed in the majors before you know it."
Gabriel smiled and Gladys noticed just how much he reminded her of Kate with his big, soulful eyes and charming grin. She was glad to see him finally perking up, she was beginning to wonder if he was going to be perpetually shy through the whole visit.
He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the door swinging open as Kate rushed in.
"Sorry!" She said, taking her coat off as she came through the door. "So sorry I'm late. I had to finish my bomb set out at work and then trying to get across town in a blackout, well, it makes things more interesting that's for sure!"
"Oh, well, the important thing is that you're finally here," Kate's mother said, standing up to hug her daughter.
Kate made her way around the table as she smiled at Gladys and her brothers.
"Gladys, it's so nice of you to come tonight…" She said earnestly as she tried squeezing behind Gabriel, whose chair sat close to the wall.
"Oh, my pleasure," Gladys said as Kate finally scooted past her younger brother and sat on his left side where the table was pushed flushed against the wall. "Gabriel and Seymour were telling me how much they enjoy school and baseball."
"Is that right?" Kate said, reaching for the basket of bread. "School, that's wonderful."
She placed a piece of bread on her plate before placing one on Gabriel's plate beside her and then passed it down to her mother.
"The boys are doing really well in school," Mrs. Rowley said, passing the bread around to Gladys. "I was afraid with as much time as you all missed they would be behind, but they've really done well. I think the open country atmosphere has done wonders for them."
Gladys brow furrowed at the odd comment as she picked up the bowl of potatoes in front of her and passed them to Kate. Why did they miss out on so much school?
"Don't forget baseball," Seymour said with a mouth full of bread. "It's the best part."
"Yes, it seems you have the next Joe DiMaggio sitting next to you, Kate."
Kate chuckled as Gabriel watched her scoop potatoes onto his plate.
"Do I now? That's great, Gabey."
"Maybe she can come see you play sometime and you guys can come see your sister sing at the Jewel Box as well. She's something special to see," Gladys beamed.
"I'm not setting foot in that filthy den again," Gabriel grumbled under his breath.
"Gabriel," Kate scolded. "That's no way to speak to someone. It's especially not the way to speak to a proper lady."
"Um, Gladys." Mrs. Rowley nervously tried changing the topic. "Kate writes to us about your work with the war funding efforts. Says you're the best in the county. How is that going?"
"Well I…" Gladys started, feeling the awkward need to get the conversation started in a better direction.
"How would you know what a proper lady does," Gabriel interrupted, looking to Kate. "You consort with negroes and degenerates like that Betty character you're always writing home about."
The sound of Kate's fork clattering against her plate echoed in the room as the air shifted and went still at his angry words.
"Gaberiel Rowley," Kate warned, turning towards the younger boy. "You need to take that back. You have no idea what you're speaking of."
"I've read the papers. I know exactly what she did."
"No, actually, you have no idea what all she's done for me and this family," Kate said, her face reddening. "Now you apologize to our guest for…"
"The only one who needs forgiveness," Gabriel growled. "Is you, dear sister…"
In one smooth swoop, he grabbed the candlestick holder in front of him and slammed the lit candle onto his sister's arm beside him.
"You and your wicked path!" His voice was low and deep as his eyes flared with rage, paralyzing Kate in her spot as the younger boy pinned her arm down with one arm while grinding the flaming wax into her arm with the other.
It all happened so fast, Gladys had to blink to make sure she had seen it correctly. Her stomach rolled in horror as the hot wax landed heavily onto Kate's arm and the table around them.
The sound of chairs screeching across the floor echoed as Gladys, Seymour, and Kate's mother all jumped up in alarm, but the two in front of her seemed to be locked in a trance as Gabriel's low voice hissed at his sister.
"Father may not be around to burn the truth into you anymore…"
"Gabriel!" Mrs. Rowley screamed, trying desperately to pull her son off her daughter, but the younger boy held fast to his position and bore down harder into Kate's arm, boxing he and his sister into the far corner of the table.
Gladys watched in horror as Kate sat there paralyzed while Gabriel's eyes locked with hers. She looked over to Seymour who had backed away from the table and was now pressed against the wall with his head tucked down towards the floor. He had gone silent and pale.
"…but rest assure your whoring ways and immoral work in that night club and factory damnation will surely seal your fate …"
Why wasn't Kate doing something? Gladys thought desperately. The table was just large enough that even if she launched herself across it, she wouldn't reach them at her angle.
"…but for the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."
Gladys grabbed her glass of water and heaved it forward, flinging the glass' contents across the table and onto the two across from her. It was the only thing she could think of to do to stop the madness. Gabriel jumped as the water hit the side of his face, breaking the trance Kate was locked into, as she wrenched her arm away and pushed her brother off of her. She jumped up and shoved her way past him.
Gladys stood rooted in her spot as she watched Gabriel retreat into one of the back bedrooms while Kate's mother followed her daughter into what she assumed was the kitchen, leaving her alone with Seymour in an eerie quietness that contrasted the loud outburst she had just witnessed.
Her mind turned in a hundred different directions. What just happened? How could he have done that to her? Did Kate's brother just call his sister a whore and condemn her to hell for working in a factory? What did he mean when he said their father wasn't around to burn the truth into her? Was this type of outburst normal?
She looked over to the youngest Rowley boy who was still pressed against the wall with his eyes and head down as if he were afraid to look up. He looked so small to Gladys.
"Seymour…" She said, but then realized she wasn't sure what she should say in the moment. "… Are you okay?"
He quickly nodded his head without looking up at her. His shoulders were slumped low and the boy, who could hardly sit still beside her earlier, now stood motionless as if he wished he could disappear into the wallpaper behind him.
Gladys reached over and gently placed a hand on his shoulder.
"It's okay," She softly said. "I think it's over now."
The young boy finally looked up with such sorrow it sent pangs of sadness through her.
"It's never over."
Gladys' heart sank as she looked down at this boy that seemed so full of life and hope only moments ago. How could things have changed so badly, so quickly? The hollow sound of his voice reminded Gladys of a time not long ago when she asked Kate what she was so afraid of…
"Everything."
That night it had been an escaped Nazi that interrupted her chance to ask Kate why she felt that way, but now Gladys was finally beginning to understand.
Her mind began to whirl once more as images of Kate's scarred back played across her mind's eye. Kate's timid behavior in the showers as she always tried to find a corner… was she hiding more strange markings that Gladys never fully understood before? She always thought that maybe Kate had received those weird scars from a perfectly normal childhood story like falling through a barn floor, like in the stories Betty told when she and her brothers use to jump into hay from the top rafters of their barn and she fell through breaking her arm that time. She should have known though that the ugly curved lines crisscrossing Kate's back were never from some dreamy childhood memory, but a nightmare. They were placed there for a purpose.
What a damn fool she had been.
It was Kate's father.
He had put those marks on her just as Gabriel had done tonight.
With fury and hate.
The kitchen door creaked open as Kate's mother slipped back into the room.
"I think it's time we return to my sisters," She said, looking tired as she reached out for Seymour. "Go get your brother and gather our things."
Gladys watch as the boy scampered off to the back bedrooms.
"You're just going to leave?"
"I should have known it was too much, too soon," Mrs. Rowley said, gathering coats off the rack by the door. "Gabriel, he's normally not like this. Coming back here was a mistake. This place just … well, it….it…"
"Reminded him of his father?"
Kate's mother paused as she looked up and over at Gladys. There was nothing the woman could say that would explain the events they had witnessed tonight. No words to make the situation better.
"You'll take care of my daughter?"
The back hallway's door opened as Gabriel and Seymour came out, both holding suitcases in hand. They seemed all too accustomed to packing quickly.
"You could by staying," Gladys tried. As much as she didn't trust Gabriel now, she couldn't help but think that the person Kate needed the most would be her mother. "How is leaving going to help her?"
Mrs. Rowley put the coats down and walked over to her and reached out to take Gladys hands gently into her own.
"By setting her free."
Gladys breath caught in her throat as the words sunk in. She watched speechless as the older woman took a step back and walked over to her boys and handed them their coats. Once they were at the front door, Kate's mother stopped and looked back at Gladys, giving her a short nod before slipping out of her daughter's life as tenuously as she had come into it at the Jewel Box the night before.
She was now standing alone in the room, still rooted in the same spot at the table, where she had thrown the glass of water to stop the teenager from burning a hole into his sister's arm. The rumble of Gabriel's voice still reverberated in her ears.
Gladys swallowed hard as she looked over at the kitchen door.
She thought of her own mother and father and how different they were from Kate's parents. Where her parents had over protected her to the point that it took working in a factory to receive her first scar, it seemed Kate's scars didn't stop until she had started working there. She suddenly felt the urge to go home and hug both her parents tightly, but she knew she had better places to be.
Gladys made her way over to the kitchen door and quietly slipped through it. Kate was by the sink, staring vacantly out the window as the bright moon filtered through the window, casting her in somber gray colors.
Gladys watched as her entrance became known and the despondent stare was carefully tucked away. She wondered if Kate had always been so good at tucking her feelings away as she turned the faucet on and stuck the burned arm underneath it. How did she miss that this whole time?
"Did they leave?" Kate asked, carefully.
"Yeah."
"Probably for the best," She said, her voice steady while keeping her back to Gladys. "My Aunt, she needs all the help she can get at her place."
Gladys wasn't sure if she should go to her and hug her or try to say something to make the situation better. What could she say? She watched Kate press her lips together as the water cascaded over the blistering welt that was already forming on her arm.
"I'm just sorry your night was ruined," Kate finally said, trying to keep her voice casual. "You should go and try to save the rest of your night. I'm sure you must have plenty of better things to do. No need in wasting it here."
"Kate…" Gladys began, shaking her head in disbelief. There weren't many times in her life where she was left speechless, but tonight had been full of such rendering moments.
She watched as Kate reached up to the pantry by the sink and found a small first aid container. She tried to keep her arm as still as possible while she opened its top and carefully sorted through it, pulling out some sort of burn cream and bandages.
"I'm okay," She assured Gladys, uncorking the cream with her teeth while keeping her hurt arm close to her chest. "It's okay to go. I can do this on my own."
"I can see that," Gladys said softly before stepping towards her friend. "Doesn't mean you have to."
Gladys reached out and gently took Kate's elbow and led her to a chair by the kitchen table behind her. She pulled a chair up in front of Kate's and reached over for the first aid supplies.
She carefully turned Kate's arm over to get a better look at the burn. Looking at the scorched skin made her mentally cringe, but she shook it off when Kate's arm tensed up as her fingers brushed over the soft skin of Kate's wrist. She looked up to see Kate was watching her with a haunting mixture of anguish and awe.
"I guess it'll be another new scar," Kate tried to joke, but it only came out flat and quiet.
Gladys squeezed out the cream onto her fingers and, as gently as she could, rubbed it onto her friend's arm.
"Are the old ones on your back?" Gladys asked as gently as she handled Kate's arm.
Kate nodded slowly.
"Are they from your father?"
Kate gave no affirmation this time as silence fell between them while she watched Gladys spread the cream from her wrist, where the burn began, to just below the crook of her elbow, where it ended. Gladys wondered if she had overstepped her boundaries by prompting for information that Kate clearly wasn't keen on sharing with anyone, except Betty, it seemed.
Once again, she was reminded of the closed circle her two friends seemed to have formed early on. Betty must have known of the dangers her father would bring when Kate left them last winter. A memory played through her mind…
Kate's a grown women, surely if she wanted to leave she could…
…. No. She can't.
She wished Betty were here now. She would automatically know how to help Kate. She always did. Kate deserved a better friend than the naïve one she had been up until now. Kate deserved Betty in this moment.
"I needed correction."
Gladys looked up at the sound of Kate's strangely cold voice.
"If I misspoke in my scriptures… If I asked too many questions about life outside of my family… If I gave in too soon in fasting…"
Gladys watched silently as her friend relived memories she couldn't see or fully understand.
"He didn't always leave scars…" She said, hauntingly. "Not ones you could see at least, but when he did…. Once, when I asked if I could have a pair of penny loafers to help stand the long hours on the corners with him, he said that vanity was the root of sin and told me that I needed to be reminded of my daily walk with God as a sinner…"
Gladys gulped as Kate's voice trailed off, watching helplessly as her friend disappeared into a distant memory.
"…So he burned the bottom of my left foot with an iron. …Made sure I knew my place in this world with every step I took."
Gladys felt nauseous.
"So I would spend hours with my bible studies. I tried spreading the Word like he wanted. Practiced my hymnals constantly. I worked so hard to be better for him, but it was never enough. I couldn't ever get it right. I guess that's what I get for ever thinking that I could."
"Kate," Gladys whispered, unraveling the bandages. "What he did to you… You are one of the best people I know. His actions had nothing to do with you. And neither did Gaberiel's."
"I know," She said, mesmerized by the way Gladys was delicately rapping the bandage around her arm. "He just sounded so much like my father, it threw me. I should have known he was agitated by the visit. I guess I just never know when I'm in over my head until it's too late."
"Kate, is that why you're working so much with the extra hours in the lab, the Jewel Box and the tailoring and such?"
"What?" Kate asked, looking up confused.
"Do you think you need some kind of correction for what happened last fall?"
"Gladys, that's not…"
"Because you don't. You don't, Kate. What happened… it wasn't your fault."
"I was the one who pushed him off that landing, Gladys. And I was the one who insisted we not explain things to the police when it happened. I was the one who made it worse."
"Kate…" Gladys said, not knowing what she could say to make her friend feel better about all that had happened.
"Betty went to prison for me," Kate said, her eyes filling with tears. "And that was my fault. She took my punishment."
Gladys took Kate into her arms as the tears fell. It suddenly struck her that she had never seen her friend cry before, a realization that was like a punch to the gut.
"Kate, what happened last year, it was beyond our control," She said soothingly. "I truly believe that. And if we could go back and do it differently, I know you would, so that counts for something. But don't ever think that you deserve any kind of punishment for the things that were out of your control."
"I just wish I could do right by her," Kate wept, holding onto Gladys.
"I know," Gladys nodded, closing her eyes at the sound of Kate's sincerity. She held her friend until she had no more tears left. After she quieted down, she pulled back and wiped the tear streaks from Kate's soft cheeks. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up and home. I think we may need to get someone to re-bandage you because my first attempt is just sad and pathetic."
Kate let out the kind of laugh that only comes after a hard cry, the kind that can't exactly heal souls, but can certainly nourish them. She wiped the corner of her eyes with the back of her hand as she looked down at the bandage that was crooked and already falling loose.
"You're doing just fine. You just gotta wrap it twice near the wrist to give it an anchor before moving up."
Gladys and Kate walked through the boarding house's foyer and turned to see Betty, Ruby, and Jill playing cards in the smoky community room.
"Ladies," Gladys greeted when they all turned to see them walk in.
"How was dinner?" Ruby asked. Betty looked on as she took a drag from her cigarette and sat back, crossing her legs by propping her ankle on her knee in a way that only Betty could pull off.
"Lovely," Kate answered, her voice too cheery.
Gladys helped Kate out of her coat, careful of her bandaged wound as Kate tried to stiffly pull her arm free without touching the coat sleeve.
"Woah, Nelly, what happened to your arm, Kate?" Jill asked, eyeing the bright bandage.
Kate looked to Gladys, suddenly unsure what to say.
"An unfortunate cooking accident," Gladys answered, chuckling to deflect the attention from her friend. "You know me, always the klutz in the kitchen. I shouldn't be trusted within a hundred feet of one, really."
Betty eyed the bandage suspiciously before looking up to Kate's face. Kate turned away, placing her coat on the rack behind her.
"Ladies, don't let McRae break the bank on you tonight," Gladys teased as she lightly guided Kate down the hallway. Betty watched them retreat down the corridor as the other girls began to chatter about the latest Carey Grant film playing at the Reivilo.
Once they were alone in Kate's room, Gladys helped the other girl into her nightgown.
"Thanks for saving me," Kate said, sitting down onto her bed.
"Oh, no worries, it's not so farfetched to believe I might be a danger to society when wielding hot objects in the kitchen."
"Not just about that though. For everything," she said, as Gladys sat down beside her. "I'm really glad you were there tonight."
"Me too," She replied, hugging her friend. "I'm just sorry I haven't been that good of a friend these last few weeks."
Kate pulled back.
"You've been too good of a friend to Betty and I both," she said. "Don't ever think otherwise. You're a real gem, Gladys Witham."
"Well, let me continue my good streak by helping you into bed," She said as she pulled the covers back for Kate to crawl under. Once Kate was comfortably placed with her bandaged arm lying outside of the covers, she leaned down and kissed the top of Kate's forehead. "Night, Kate."
Gladys turned the lights out as she quietly backed out of the room. Closing the door lightly, she turned and jumped to find Betty standing right behind her.
"Jeez, Betty," Gladys said, clutching her chest. "You're a sneaky one, aren't you? You might want to look into secret agent work."
"She okay?" Betty nodded to the door behind Gladys.
Gladys looked over her shoulder at the door behind her where they both knew Kate was hurting on the other side.
"No…" She replied, turning back to Betty, who looked as worried as Gladys felt earlier. "… But she's getting there."
Betty nodded as she took a step back towards her own door. Gladys made her way back down the hallway. She turned and watched as Betty stood in her doorway across from Kate's and leaned on her doorframe, her arms crossed as she studied the door before her with a furrowed brow of concern, as if she were listening intently to hear if Kate cried out in pain or from some nightmare that would surely come from that night's events. Betty had no real way of knowing what had occurred that night, and yet, there she stood, playing her role perfectly.
It had been one of the most unusual nights of Gladys' life, but seeing Betty protectively watch over Kate's room, like she was just waiting to swoop in when she was needed the most, felt like the most normal thing to happen in some time.
"Good night, Betty," She called out on her way down the hallway and smiled to herself as her words went unnoticed.
Things were feeling more normal, indeed.
A/N: I thought long and hard about putting Betty in the dinner scene, but I decided to go with just Gladys because I missed Gladys and Kate's friendship in S2 and always wanted Gladys to get a glimpse of Kate's past life and in turn showcase Betty and Kate's importance in their relationship to each other. Plus, the image of Betty protectively watching Kate's door afterwards left me feeling warm and missing the show even more than usual.