Chapter 8 - Commercial Break
"Don't worry, Wakko, I'm cheering for you." Said Yakko
"Thanks Brother, But what could possibly go wrong?" Asked Wakko
"That's right! Zhats the right answer!" Dr. Scratchnsniff cheered. The Puzzleboard lit up to reveal that the puzzle was indeed "What could possibly go wrong?" And when it did, Yakko and Dot cheered for their victorious little brother.
"Dot and I just couldn't be more proud of ya!" Said Yakko
"Oh poo! I thought the puzzle was 'What could mossimo do worse?' The pants they made me kept falling off!" Said Wakko.
But during the celebration, another character wandered onto the set.
"That's my catchphrase! What could possibly go wrong?" said Bubsy the Bobcat.
"Oh God, not Bubsy the Bobcat!" Yakko exclaimed "Geez, the only good thing about that show was that the cheques cleared."
As Bubsy left the stage, Dr. Scratchnsniff came over.
"So, Vakko! Do you understand how Ze game works now?" asked Dr. Scratchnsniff
"I sure do! Thanks for setting this up, Doc!" Said Wakko
"Oh yes, now I vant you to go and study and play ze Computer game and get more practice, Zou want to vin, ja?" asked Dr. Scratchnsniff
"You bet!" Said Wakko
"ok, I'll Zee zou all later. Thank you Nurse for being Vanna Vhite!" Said Dr. Scratchnsniff
"Thank you nurse!" Said the Warners. Yakko turned to the camera
"Hey, we'd love to continue this story, but ah-aaaaaaah we gotta take a commercial break. The network needs it's money too." Yakko smiled
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The first commercial was set in a room with Wakko Warner in a nice suit jacket.
"Hello, I'm Wakko Warner, President of the Wakko Warner Wear your Underwear Campaign." Wakko grinned at the camera "We're a non-profit organization that encourages your kids to wear their underwear properly. Remember, they call it underwear for a reason...you wear it under your pants!" the camera zoomed out to reveal that Wakko was wearing underwear, and then he pulled up a pair of pants.
"What exactly do we do? Here's a simulation of what we're all about." Wakko then walked off of one set, and onto a schoolground where Katie Ka-boom was chatting with her friends, But her underwear is sticking out of her pants and her tanktop is so low her bra straps are sticking out.
"Excuse me, miss, But i'm Wakko Warner of the Wakko Warner Wear your Underwear campaign, might I have a moment of your time?" asked Wakko
"Why?" Asked Katie
"You see, your underwear is sticking out and i'm here to fix it!" Wakko then grabbed Katie's tanktop and moved it so it covered her bra strap.
"Hey what are you doing!?" Katie began freaking out
"I'm making you look good." Said Wakko, then pulling katie's pants up, covering her panties.
"It's supposed to look that way, you dope!" Yelled Katie
"Oh really, do they call it overwear?" asked Wakko
"Leave my underwear alone!" Katie moved her pants back where they were before.
"Your mom will be mad." Said Wakko, pulling up Katie's pants again.
Katie began losing her temper and steam began pouring out of her body.
"You see." Wakko turned to the camera "We fix your daughters underwear so she won't end up like britney spears." Wakko walked off set, and Katie-kaboom exploded right there on the yard.
"So please donate your money to the Wakko Warner Wear your underwear campaign. anyone who donates $100 gets a pair of tighty-whiteys autographed by Don Knotts!" Wakko winked at the camera
The scene cut to screen with text on it.
"Wakko Warner Wear your underwear campaign! Hey! What's that under there?"
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"And now, a message from the Tammel toy company." Said the narrator
Then the camera pointed at dot, holding a fashion doll.
"Hello, I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the 3rd, But you can call me Dot!" Dot flashed a cute smile "And what I have here are 2 dolls, one is the Tammel real-life Tricia doll." Dot held up a homely looking brunette doll "And the other is the leading competitor's doll." Dot held up a barbie doll.
"Now why would you want to pay 50$ for this piece of plastic that looks like a perfectly sculpted woman who can only stand up with the help of a plastic stand? Why would you give this perfect-looking blonde model to your young daughter so she can have self-esteem issues when she turns 16?"
Dot then got closer to the camera.
"You saw the last commercial, it's girls like that who play with the competitor's dolls."
Then Dot returned to the previous position.
"So why waste all that money, and then have to spend even more just buying all the junk that goes with it, when you can spend 10$ on this normal looking Real-life Tricia doll? Your daughter will be totally able to relate, because the doll thinks she's fat but really isn't, has a dead end job as a cashier and no boyfriend! She comes with pair of plain jeans, basic white shirt, 2 broken underwire bras and a boring old bathing suit, and her dad's beat up 1990 mazda 323 hatchback for going out with friends. But she's soooooo cute!"
Dot brought out another cute smile.
"But wait! Order one within the next 10 minutes, And i'll throw in this 'Hello Nurse' doll, absolutely free!"
Dot held up a Hello Nurse doll.
"Comes complete with nurse outfit, french maid outfit, and leopard skin bikini."
Just then Yakko and Wakko jumped into the shot.
"Shut up and take my money!" Yakko smiled, holding up a wad of cash.
Dot on the other hand was less than enthusiastic.
"Since when do you 2 play with dolls?" Asked Dot
"Since we discovered that the salvation army sells fashion dolls...with no clothes." said Wakko, who began drooling a bit.
Yakko turned the camera "So what's the point of censoring nudity from your children, when you can almost see straight to Florida at the local thrift shop?" Asked Yakko
"Deeee-sguisting!" Dot stuck her tongue out, before turning back to the camera to say her last line.
"So why are you waiting? Order now before my brother starts using other suggestive terms that hopefully your kids won't understand!"
Then the announcer spoke on the last blue screen which had all the mail order information on it.
"To order, have your credit card ready and call 1-800-5318008, and don't forget, order in the next 10 minutes, and we'll also send you this fabulous Hello nurse doll, absolutely free! Don't wait! Don't look at the number to call upside down! Look at it right-side up and call now!"
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The Next Ad was for Yakko's World of Whales!
"My name is Yakko Warner...And today..."
Then Yakko burst out into hysterical crying.
"The whales are dying! We need money! We need donations! We need Doughnuts! We need.." Yakko went back to speaking normally "A pretty secretary to replace the one Shamu almost ate last week. And when we say almost, we mean bathing suit and all...Lucky for us the censors were asleep at the time." Yakko winked at the camera with a grin.
Yakko then turned to the side and went up to a whiteboard.
"To further educate you on our research on Whales here at the Yakko Warner's World of Whales Campaign, we decided to write a song, and it goes something, like this..."
Then Yakko began to sing to the tune of "Oh Canada!"
Oh Killer Whale
how do you swim so free
You have not one tooth
instead something called baleen
it filters the stuff
inside of your mouth
and then you swallow your food whole
You're big and wide
oh killer whale
You burped jonah out your blowhole
God keep you strong
glorious and free
Oh killer whale
we always watch out for thee
oh killer whale
never forget free...willlll...yyyyyyy!
Yakko stopped his singing.
"So in the hopes that you have lots of money, not easily offended by me taking the national anthem of Canada and butchering it for the sake of a overgrown dolphin, We hope you will donate to the Yakko Warner's World of Whales foundation! Donate more than $1,000 within the next 10 minutes, and i'll throw in this copy of the 2000 documentary, Dolphins!"
Yakko then turned to the camera
"I hear the lady scientist in the movie doesn't wear a wetsuit." Yakko grinned again, before returning to the main camera.
"So what'r'ya waitin' for? Pledge today! Pledge your kid's money! Pledge your daughter's college fund! Remortgage your house! Do whatever it takes to donate to the Yakko Warner's World of Whales foundation!"
But at this commercial, Slappy the Squirrel was watching from her TV.
"Get back to the show already!" She yelled
"That's Slappy!" The warners sang the last line in slappy's theme song as the Slappy Squirrel screen was replaced with a "Now, Back to the Animaniacs Christmas Special" Screen.
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