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Friends & Lovers

Chapter 2: Where Do We Go From Here?

"What in the hell did I just do?"

Jack's head was spinning. What just happened; he was still finding it hard to comprehend. He and Allison; the woman he had fallen in love with at first sight, had just shared a magical evening together. They had finally become one in way he'd pictured only in his dreams.

As he cruised down the deserted road, he was thankful that the sun had not yet risen. At four o'clock in the morning, he could travel home at a leisurely speed without worry. The unhurried pace allowed him to play the events over in his mind as he attempted to pick out the precise moment when everything changed.

It had been a typical evening with Allison and Kevin; good food, a few drinks, and a movie which required no serious thought process to enjoy. It had become a routine with them after that horrible day of the accident; the day that Stark sacrificed his life for the woman he'd ever loved.

Himself burdened by guilt, Jack felt it not only his duty, but his obligation to see Allison through this difficult time. Thinking only of her wellbeing, he pushed his own romantic feelings for her deep down; a practice by this point he was well familiar in doing. Besides, this was not the appropriate time for him to confess his love for her. What she needed most was a friend, and true to his word, he would honor Nathan's request...

"Take care of her Jack."

The time he'd begun spending with Allison and Kevin opened a new chapter in their relationship. By this point, they were already extremely close, but now they allowed their vulnerabilities to show. Sure, Jack knew a lot about Allison and vice versa, but to learn of the intensely personal details of her life made their bond stronger than it had ever been. She would talk openly and frankly about Stark and of her first husband, David. And though Jack was always happy to lend an ear, he feared he would forever be boxed in a corner. Doomed to never be more than just a good buddy.

But, there was one aspect of their newfound association that was extremely important to him.

Jack, had always had a bond with Kevin, a secret one that no one was privy too. When he first arrived in Eureka, Kevin was one of the first people to greet him. Unbeknownst to him at the time, Kevin was Autistic and rarely communicated with anyone; at least verbally. When he recounted his interaction with Kevin, Allison bristled at the idea; offended that he would make such a cruel joke. In time, she'd come to see that they did in fact have a special connection. Kevin reacted in a way with him that he did with no one else. Being able to devote more time with him now managed to help not only Kevin, but offered Jack a glimpse of what could be.

As they sat on the couch; talking about nothing in particular, he couldn't help but take notice of how close she sat. The soft silky strands of her hair brushing up against his bare forearm sent shivers down his spine. Sure, they'd been in close proximately before, but for some reason this felt different. As her head rested on his shoulder, he covertly took a whiff of her hair. It smelled of coconut and mango and he wanted to eat her up; literally. It took everything within his power to remain stoic as he desperately longed to cradle her in his arms, kiss her succulent gloss covered lips, speak sweet words of love, but, his chivalrous nature would not allow him to cross that line. More than loving Allison as woman, he loved her as a friend, and though he and Nathan competed for her affections, he had lost out; a result of his own inaction.

So, as they sat together sipping the last of the beer; he regaling her with tales of his adolescence, something out of the ordinary occurred. Allison made a move on him. His body settled firmly against the seat cushion, he could feel Allison's slender arm slip behind his back. Bewildered, he thought that maybe she just felt so comfortable, she'd forgotten who she was with. Maybe it was a gesture of fellowship; it wasn't as if she hadn't touched him before. He knew it couldn't be anything romantic, so he kept talking as if nothing happened, but what she did next started a fire in the pit of his stomach.

Raising her head to face him, he clocked each movement as she advanced. As if in slow motion, he watched as her lips pursed together and her lids lower in anticipation. When her mouth met his, he could have sworn his heart had stopped beating, and without hesitation, he propelled his body away from hers. An awkward silence filled the room as he viewed her suspiciously. His brain cells now colliding a million miles a second, he couldn't figure what had spurred this turn of events.

"Allison..."

"Carter, don't look at me like that."

She had moved on him so fast, he could only picture what his face looked like. He didn't mean to give the impression that he was appalled, he was just caught off guard. Whatever his expression had been, it couldn't have been good because the look in her eyes was soul-crushing. He had to repair this; salvage what they had before it collapsed in on itself.

Gently, he placed a hand on top of hers. "Allison, you don't want to do this. You're vulnerable right now."

Apparently, it was the wrong thing to say as she seemed enraged by his statement.

"Don't tell me how I feel! I know exactly what I'm doing!"

Confused by her hostile reaction, he immediately mirrored her disposition. "Do you?!"

"Yes, I do!"

Standing abruptly, she appealed to him. "Please, Jack. I need you."

Instantaneously, his resolve softened. He had yearned so long for those words to escape her lips. Had it not been for her current state of mind, he would have happily obliged. So, contrary to his true feelings, he regrettably denied her request.

"Allison, as much as I want to, I...I can't."

Before he could offer up and explanation, she hurried past him and ran upstairs to her room.

"Fuck!" he muttered through gritted teeth; he felt like a heel. He had promised to take care of her Allison, but he was sure that this wasn't exactly what Stark had meant. As much as he would love to comfort her physically, he knew this wasn't right and eventually she would come to that realization. But, on the other hand, he couldn't be sure she didn't want him romantically. He knew she had feelings for him; what those feelings were exactly, he couldn't say. There was one thing for sure; he couldn't stand there like an idiot all night. So, against his better judgment, he made a decision.

Taking them two at a time, he bounded upstairs and strode resolute to her bedroom door. At a crossroads, he knew once he stepped over that threshold, they would pass the point of no return. Reaching out, he tentatively placed one hand around the knob and rapped lightly with the other. Receiving no response, he carefully pushed it open and peered in.

He could see she was crying as she tried furtively to wipe away the tears from her eyes; a sure sign of her embarrassment due to her peculiar conduct.

"Carter, I'm so sorry for my behavior. I..."

Jack didn't want an explanation. He didn't want this moment, whatever it was, to pass them by. Leaving all reason behind, he allowed his heart to take control, and without a word, he walked further into the room, allowing the door to swing shut behind him.

Forcing himself back to the present, Jack let out a long controlled breath. He had been sitting in his front yard for the past half hour, unsure of what his next move should be. He would have been just as content laying with Allison, wrapped in her warm embrace until the early morning light. He still couldn't believe what they'd done. Optimistic as he had never been before, he couldn't let this chance with her slip through his fingers.

Tomorrow he would ask her. He would ask Allison Blake to be his.

Next - Chapter 3: The Heart Wants What the Heart Can't Have