Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama and never will, that honor belongs to the gorilla Sorachi Hideaki obviously.
A/N: I got this up as soon as I could since I am waiting to help my friend with her fanfic too. I have more still so don't worry about that and I'm still working on it. I also have my health problems to deal with but just please be patient. Enjoy the crazy date here!
Chapter 4
Okita was waiting at the park's entrance sign when he spotted Kagura coming.
As he waved, he noticed her outfit and makeup and stuttered a bit, "M-makeup? Why are you so dressed up China-girl?"
When she got to the entrance sign, she replied, "It's my first time on a date and Anego-chan helped me out."
"Ah, well that explains it," he answered as he noticed how different her appearance was from her every day dress: it was pink and shiny while she had pink lipstick and pink shoes to match.
Kagura looked to both sides before asking, "Can I tell you something personal, Sadist?"
"What, China-girl? Period time?" he asked jokingly.
She made a face and said, "Don't joke about that and no, it's not that. What would you say if I liked someone else?"
Okita was surprised when he asked, "Then why go on a date with me?"
"Even for a sadist, you're not too horrible so I feel bad for leading you on. I like someone but he seems intent on ignoring me as an actual girl," Kagura tried to explain.
Okita thought for a minute and then replied, "Oh, Danna huh?"
Her face went red as she said, "Why did that natural perm head come to mind?"
"Obviously he fits the bill. He's stubborn about romantic feelings and you've always had something with him anyhow. Also, your blush confirms my theory," Okita said with a sadistic smirk.
"Damn sadist, are you going to help me or not?" she asked with a frown.
"Sure, I asked you out but you want to make Dannd jealous right?" he asked sarcastically but a little hurt.
Kagura felt mean but she responded, "I guess but I'm not trying to be mean to you, you know."
He chuckled, "Yeah, yeah. Time to start the plan then, here are the observers."
Kagura facepalmed as she noticed Otae, Shinpachi, Kondou and Gin disguised and 'observing' the date. Their idea of disguises were sunglasses and scarves around on their heads and tied under their nose like a thief would but...this was so like them.
"Okay," Kagura and Okita confirmed as they did a thumbs-up.
"So China-girl, this is one here to bug us on a nice walk in the park. Do you want to get a snack?" Okita sneakily asked her.
"Oh yeah, like a sundae we can share!" Kagura sneakily replied with a smirk.
Gin was a bit jealous of the sundae but seemed a bit upset about them sharing it.
"Gin-san, what's wrong?" Shinpachi whispered.
Gin just shook his head and pointed at the two walking towards the park exit already.
"Crap! Let's go minna!" Kondou loudly whispered as he continued to follow Kagura and Okita.
On the way, Kondou used a radio to call someone.
"Toushi! Come in, where are you?" he asked in a rush.
"Kondou-san, I'm right here," Hijikata answered from behind him.
"Aah! You scared me, Toushi! Why are you here?" Kondou asked.
Hijikata rolled his eyes as he replied, "I heard Sougo bragging about his date and figured you'd go stalk him. I was right and the Yorozuya and Nee-san are with you."
They all sweatdropped as they realized how obvious their scheme was.
Gin smirked though as he said, "Why are you so worried over the sadist brat, huh? Got a crush?"
As his face got a bit red, Hijikata growled out, "I'm looking out for a comrade you punk!"
Suddenly, Okita and Kagura walked a bit noisily into an ice cream parlor not a few feet away from the group.
Otae whispered forcefully, "All of you come on, we need to follow them!"
They all complied with the intimidating woman as they snuck into the parlour. Inside, Okita and Kagura were discussing the new developments.
Okita sighed as he commented, "Why does Hijikata-san have to be here now?"
Noticing his tone change, Kagura asked, "Why are you concerned about the mayo samurai being here?"
"Nothing, but it's harder to act with that baka here," he replied.
"What happened since I've been gone? You seem...embarassed," she hesitantly inquired.
Blushing a bit, Okita dodged the question by saying, "I'm just overworked since him and Kondou-san put me in charge for a couple of weeks to go get more recruits in our hometown. They just got back yesterday."
Kagura thought about it and asked, "Why did you ask me out on a date? It seems a bit off to ask me now."
"Hm, I'm not sure what you mean China," Okita tried to avoid the topic.
She gave him a look and replied, "No more of this date if you don't come clean. Those idiots will be over here in a minute."
He sighed as he answered, "Okay, China girl. Since Kondou-san and Hijikata-san had been gone recently, I've felt...differently."
Kagura tilted her head to the side in confusion and Okita made a face at her.
"About...Hijikata-san, I've felt kind of lonely. Since they've been gone, I felt like I wish he was here. Now I feel embarassed and unsure how to deal with him," Okita explained as well as he could.
She thought about it and made a decision. She slapped her fist on her palm as she said, "Okay, let's do this! We can make Mayo samurai and Gin-chan jealous!"
Okita and Kagura grinned like the sadists they were as they prepared to put their plan in motion. When Gin and the rest got inside where they thought the two sadists wouldn't notice them, they noticed an odd scene.
Okita and Kagura were faking holding hands across the table and pretending to gaze lovingly at each other. Gin felt really angry at himself but he felt jealous so badly that he was thinking of sadistic things he could do to the sadist right now. Unconciously both Gin and Hijikata's teeth were clenched in frustration and veins were popping on their foreheads. Not only that, both of their faces resembled how sadistic they had looked with the first confrontation with the Mimawarigumi.
Shocked when he noticed the two of them, Shinpachi asked, "Um, Gin-san, Hijikata-san? Are you two alright?"
Once they realized how they had looked, both of them tried to shrug it off.
"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about the mountains of paperwork waiting for me," Hijikata lied as best he could but the vein still throbbing.
"Heh, just thinking about how the rent's due soon," Gin fibbed as his own vein still throbbed like Hijikata's.
Shinpachi sweatdropped but went back to 'observing' the date. He noticed Otae and Kondou both noticed how Gin and Hijikata had reacted but decided to see how this would play out. Kagura noticed Gin's reaction and wanted him to do something. Okita was surprised but he masked this on his face.
"Hey, China. Do you think it's working?" Okita whispered.
Rolling her eyes, Kagura whispered back, "What do you think?"
"Let's order, China-girl," Okita suggested.
"Ooh, a banana split sundae!" she said happily.
Thinking, Okita decided, "How about a milkshake we can share?"
"Ooh, that sounds good!" Kagura agreed on.
Hijikata and Gin gritted their teeth again at the decision and, on Gin's part, the sweets. Otae, Kondou and Shinpachi sighed as they continued to monitor the date and the bakas with them. After the two got the milkshake and shared it, they decided a movie would be good.
"What do you want to see, China? A chick flick like that?" Okita suggested as he pointed to a poster in the shop. It had a girl and boy in a forest setting and the boy was pale white with bags under his eyes.
"Nah, I'd rather see My Neighbor Pedoro or Alien vs. Yakuza," Kagura countered.
"That's not very romantic though," he answered.
Kagura weighed her options before deciding, "Okay, let's see if the gushy movie is worth it then."
As they left to head to the movie theater, Shinpachi, Otae and Kondou breathed a sigh in relief in not being caught. Gin and Hijikata were trying and failing to pretend that they weren't bothered with this at all. The crowd decided to go to the movie theater. Once they were all in the theater and the movie started, Otae and Kondou sat in and just watched the movie. Shinpachi sighed at how easily they dropped the act of stalking. He was worried at how Gin's teeth were chomping so hard on the popcorn and Hijikata was smoking three cigarettes at once.
"Are you two really alright?" Shinpachi inquired sheepishly.
They both turned their heads, horror movie style and said, "We're fine."
He eeped and just turned back to observe Kagura and Okita. They seemed to be just trying to understand the movie and not doing much else. Shinpachi was starting to wonder if Kagura and Okita were up to something. Once the movie ended, Otae and Kondou lingered while Shinpachi shook his head at them. Gin and Hijikata hadn't seemed to notice that the movie had ended so they sat as they had the whole movie. Shinpachi decided to go confront Kagura and Okita now.
As he stopped them from leaving, he demanded, "Okay, Kagura-chan, Okita-san, the jig is up. What's going on?"
Kagura and Okita looked at each other, figured that they couldn't do much and sighed.
"Okay, Shinpachi. Come on, let's talk in the lobby," Kagura decided.
Okita went along with it as he followed Kagura and Shinpachi to the lobby.
"Well?" Shinpachi asked a bit impatiently.
Okita and Kagura sighed before they filled him in on both sides of their story.
After hearing this, Shinpachi smacked them both on the back of their heads and yelled, "Baka!"
As Kagura and Okita blinked in surprise, he continued, "How stupid, why can't you two communicate normally?"
Just then Kagura shouted, "Urusai baka!"
Both of their hands pushed down on Shinpachi's head and smiled some creepy sadistic grins at him.
Gulping, Shinpachi answered timidly, "I won't tell them, alright?"
They both nodded and lost the grins.
"Good, let's end this 'date' and take me home, sadist," Kagura affirmed.
Okita nodded in agreement as he took her arm and walked off to the Yorozuya. Once they were leaving, Otae and Kondou came out of the theater dragging the two bakas, now sporting nig bumps on their heads.
Otae gasped as she said, "Quick, let's catch the end of the date!"
The five followed Kagura and Okita just as they got to the door.
"Well, that was fun China," Okita commented nonchalantly.
"Yep, so now what?" Kagura asked innocently.
Thinking about it, Okita answered, "A kiss, I guess."
"Cheek?" Kagura asked in a whisper.
"It would be better for a quick peck on the lips. Gotta get Danna jealous," Okita responded.
She went to kiss him just as Gin and Hijikata ran up the steps and tried to push Kagura away from Okita. The only problem is that they pushed them to kiss instead. Horrified, Gin shrieked and Hijikata blanched visibly. Otae, Kondou and Shinpachi's jaws dropped. Kagura and Okita glared at Gin and Hijikata then turned to glare at the others.
"Gin-chan! Shinpachi! Anego-chan! Gorilla! Mayo samurai!"Kagura shouted angrily.
"Hijikata-san! Kondou-san! Nee-san! Shinpachi-kun! Danna!" Okita yelled in anger simultaneously.
"Bye Toushi, Sougo and Yorozuya!" Kondou yelled as he ran with Otae.
"Bye Kagura-chan, Shin-chan, Gin-san and everybody!" Otae shouted as the two of them left back to the dojo.
Shinpachi gulped before Kagura and Okita hit all four of the ones who remained.
"Explain yourself, Gin-chan!" Kagura demanded as she crossed her arms.
Gin tried to think of something before resorting to the oldest trick in the book: the blame game.
"It's Hijikata's fault!" he fibbed.
"No! It's his fault!" Hijikata claimed.
Shinpachi didn't know what to do so he just apologized, "I'm so sorry! Kondou-san was worried and I was too!"
After beating on Hijikata's head and Gin's kintama, Kagura and Okita stopped attacking. They looked at each other before saying, "See ya."
Kagura stepped on Gin's chest before going inside the Yorozuya while Okita stepped on Hijikata's head to leave by the stairs. As Shinpachi sighed, Gin and Hijikata screamed in pain and frustration.
"Damn Sougo/Kagura!" they both cursed.
Once Hijikata got up and dusted himself off, he turned and left. When he came onto the street, he noticed that Okita was waiting for him with a squad car and Yamazaki in the back.
"Hm?" Hijikata stated dumbly.
Okita sighed and said, "Get in, Hijikata-san."
"Yeah, yeah," the fukuchou muttered as he got in the driver's seat.
Okita got in the passenger seat and they left to headquarters.
Gin got up and leaned against the railing, trying to ignore the pain. Shinpachi went over to him and just shook his head.
"Let's just go to bed," he recommended to Gin.
The two went inside and found Kagura asleep on the couch. Gin found a blanket and covered her up while Shinpachi put a pillow under her head. Shinpachi went to sleep on the other couch himself while Gin went to sleep in his futon in his room.
"Aah!" Kagura screamed at around 3am.
She was still a bit dazed when she noticed where she was. She realized that Gin and Shinpachi must have covered her up and given her a pillow as she hadn't even bothered to herself.
"Hm?" she said aloud as she noticed Gin sitting in front of the t.v.
"Oh, you're awake? Go sleep," Gin told her.
Kagura pouted and responded, "You too, Gin-chan."
"I'll go when I'm ready," he replied a bit snarkily.
She sighed as she sat next to him in front of the t.v. They both sat there until they both fell asleep, her head on his shoulder and his head on her head.
End A/N: Well there is the crazy date, I hope you enjoyed it. I tried to make it like it would probably go in Gintama especially with Gin and Hijikata's reactions. Virtual cookies to whoever can tell me where I got the inspiration for the parody of a movie I had them watch and the accidental kiss scene too. One is from an anime and the other is not, just a hint. Thank you for being patient on this chapter, I just have chronic health problems to deal with so please be patient for upcoming chapters! I hope you all enjoy the story and review please. I really appreciate the feedback!