Calvin woke up in her own bed for once, sun shining through the windows and legs tangled hopelessly in the sheets. Her mind was a jumble from the day before, but two things stuck out clearly; Chase was dead, and she had kissed Sherlock.
Calvin froze on the second one, remembering the exact moment clearer than anything else. But why? It didn't mean anything. They didn't fancy each other. Actually, Sherlock borderline hated the woman and she took joy in irritating him. Not exactly a breeding ground for romance.
Shaking her head, Calvin untangled herself from the sheets and plopped out of bed. She grabbed her phone as she headed to the kitchen to make tea and a poptart, collapsing at the kitchen table in mental and emotional exhaustion.
Last night, John had called Annabelle, Christofer, and Saria for her, informing them of Chase's fate. The funeral date was promptly set for a week from yesterday by Saria, and the body was currently at St. Bart's for an autopsy that Calvin knew would show nothing that they didn't already know. The case would close with no real evidence of who killed him, and Moriarty would revel in Calvin's suffering.
Without realizing it, Calvin had started sobbing once more. Her face was buried in her hands and her cries were desperate and full of despair. The last thing she had said to Chase was a cold 'good-bye'. No hug, no 'I love you'. Just a cold exit that was Chase's last memory of her.
Don't cry, pretty lady. -JM
Was the text that buzzed on her phone within the next few minutes. As Calvin's eyes swept over it, her body started to tremble again, with the pure fear that she was now feeling rather than the beginnings of a panic attack. Her mind was too tired to even allow her to panic right now, but her body was able enough to launch her out of her flat and upstairs.
John was standing close to the door, as if he were about to leave, and Calvin wiped her face before waving half-heartedly.
"Hey, how are you?" John asked carefully, noting her red eyes and disheveled appearance.
"He won't leave me alone." Calvin told him quietly.
"Who? Chase?" John asked gently, thinking that Calvin was being haunted by her memory of seeing Chase dead the day before. Calvin shook her head.
"Moriarty."
John was immediately alert. "So he contacts you often, then?"
"He made sure I knew that he was the one who had Chase killed." Calvin muttered bitterly, glancing at the phone in her hand. "Yes."
"Yeah, well, you're not staying alone anymore. Move your things up here and tell us whenever he texts you." John said briskly, putting his hands on her shoulders. He noticed that Calvin couldn't look him in the eyes, and her face seemed slightly haunted.
"It won't stop him. He'd just come up a flight of stairs if he wanted to do something. All of Mycroft's men couldn't keep him at bay if he wanted me, or you, or Sherlock."
"But it'll make me feel better. Please." John said, a small smile adorning his lips. She nodded once. "Good. I'm going to see Angeline. Sherlock's in his room if you need him. Be safe." He patted her shoulder as he passed her. Calvin sighed as she watched him go, sitting on the couch and staring at her phone.
OoOoOoOoOo
Calvin had never seen anyone look annoyed at a funeral, but she had learned to expect anything from Sherlock. She glanced up at him and studied his peeved facial expression. She quickly linked it to Annabelle's rather loud sobbing, but did not smile.
Saria, Christofer, and Annabelle were all crying in their own respective ways; Annabelle was loudly sniffing and sobbing, Christofer has streams down his face but managed to look merely like a tragic hero, and Saria had shed only three tears. Calvin had cried herself out over the past week of nightmares and guilt, so her face was merely blank.
She stood between John and Christofer, with the taller man's arm around her shoulders. Calvin supposed that it should be raining, because it always seemed to rain on funerals, but the sun shone bright with the brisk autumn weather. Honestly, it fit. Chase deserved a beautiful day for a funeral.
As the progression of people approached the casket to place a flower on the polished black wood, they each said something quietly before walking away. Calvin took great care to not hear what they were saying, believing it to be private and not for her to know.
When she reached the casket to place her flower there, Calvin said quietly, "Here's looking at you, kid." She walked away without another word, taking her place next to Christofer. What she had said would simply be a quote to anyone who has seen Casablanca, but for Chase and Calvin it meant a bit more. The five roommates often had movie nights, and whenever it was Chase's turn to pick a movie he would always pick Casablanca. Calvin didn't like the movie much, and Chase often said that she never paid attention. Saying that to him, even when she wasn't sure if he could hear her, meant that she had always paid attention.
As the casket was lowered into the ground, Calvin felt an overwhelming sense of loss. Not being able to stand it, she was one of the first people to leave - while she should have been one of the last. She heard feet rapidly approaching from behind her, and sidestepped just in time top avoid Christofer from grabbing her.
"Where are you going?" he demanded, though his voice was soft and full of tears. Calvin looked away.
"Home."
He grabbed for her hands. "Come home." he pleaded, fresh tears falling down his face. "With us. Your real home. We need you."
"I can't replace him, Christofer. I'm still just Calvin."
"That's not what I mean, and you know it." Christofer argued, tightening his grip on her limp, unresponsive hands. "We need to all be together. Chase would want you to come home."
"Don't speak for him." Calvin snapped, pulling her hands away. "Chase would want this, Chase would want that. We have no idea what he would want me to do because he's dead, Christofer."
Christofer looked scandalized, as if she had said something unforgiveable. "Calvin," he said, voice slightly scolding. She gave him a blank look. "Please."
She shook her head. "I won't." she answered, and Christofer noted that she said 'won't' instead of the usual 'can't' that people used. She was telling him straight that she wouldn't come back. He was silent for a moment, before Saria and Annabelle came up behind him.
"Can we go home now?" Annabelle asked tearfully, dabbing - not wiping - at her eyes. She was speaking to all of them, not just Saria and Christofer.
"Yes. Calvin, it's time for you to come home. Enough with the games. You belong with us." Saria said, her voice in it's same demanding tone, but there was underlying sadness that she was very adept at hiding.
"We're worried about you." Annabelle sniffled, glancing over at John and Sherlock, who were approaching the four. "And we need you." Calvin pushed her bangs out of her face with a sigh. She didn't want to go back. She wasn't exactly the same person she'd been those months ago, and she couldn't understand what the change was, but it was there. Her mind was a jumble, unable to make sense of anything she was feeling. Guilt and pain were at the forefront of her mind, while in the back she felt like an eighteen year old who had just moved out of her parents' house. And then somewhere in the middle was that nagging change.
John's hand was on her shoulder. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, and she nodded briefly.
"I'm leaving." Calvin told them, taking a few steps back.
"So that's it, then." Saria said, her voice angry. "You are choosing them over us. You are trading the people you have known since you were sixteen for two men you've known for six months."
Calvin looked overwhelmingly sad. "Don't do this. Not now." she asked, knowing exactly what Saria was going to do. She was going to make Calvin choose in an effort to keep her from leaving.
Saria frowned deeply. "Why not. Pull it like a band-aid, eh? We lost Chase today, we might as well lose you today, too." she answered, though her voice cracked just slightly underneath the steely tone.
"Stop it."
"Calvin. These men are a danger to you. I read what you do, prancing around the streets in pursuit of murderers and criminals. He's going to get you killed." Saria said, sticking out her chin at Sherlock. "You think you're some type of hero, don't you? Or do you just want to impress him?"
Calvin glanced at Sherlock. "I'm not in love with him, Saria." she said, voice completely monotone. This whole exchange was putting her completely on edge, and anxiety stirred beneath the surface of her cool exterior.
"Then you think you're a hero."
"I don't believe in heroes, and you know that."
Saria snorted, and crossed her arms. She was silent for a few moments, then sighed before saying, "Are you coming home or not."
"Because you've made it such a pleasant option?"
"Calvin."
"Don't do this to me, Saria."
"I'm not doing anything to you. You're doing it to yourself." Saria snapped, and with that, turned and walked away towards where they parked the car. Christofer gathered Calvin up in his arms and hugged her.
"You know how she is." he whispered. "It's just hard on all of us." He let go and allowed Annabelle to hug the woman next, before he wrapped his arm around the blonde girl's shoulders and they followed Saria to their car. Calvin turned without a word to hail a cab with a sharp whistle.
OoOoOoOo
Not allowed to sleep by herself in her flat, John found Calvin on his couch every morning. He had offered his bed, and Sherlock's as usual, but she insisted that she take the couch. Sherlock often sat and watched her sleep, noting her restlessness and constant awakening. She passed it off as the stress from Chase's untimely death, which was half the truth, at least.
She'd been doing a lot of thinking during the last few days after Chase's funeral, but still could not pinpoint her reasoning to why she wouldn't go back and live with her family again. Besides the hassle of moving, the only thing she could think of was to keep them out of harm of Moriarty, believing that her presence at home would cause him to target them next.
While she would want to protect them at all costs, she doubted that her internal reasons were all that valiant. Perhaps fear of leaving the 'protection' of Sherlock was driving her... more likely, it was selfishness. She liked Sherlock and John and this new chapter in her life. While her family needed her... she didn't feel as if she needed them. A good thing, surely, as one should never depend too heavily on anyone.
But why did it feel as if she were abandoning them?
Shaking her head, she rolled over to find herself alone. No Sherlock, no John, but a laptop sat open at Sherlock's desk. She waited a bit before hearing footsteps coming into the room. A yawning Sherlock appeared, wrapped only in a sheet.
"Morning." she said, sitting up and combing her hair through a bit with her fingers. He glanced at her and nodded in a brief greeting. He sat at his desk, seeming to be waiting for something.
"What are you up to?" she asked, getting up and looking over his shoulder. Sherlock noted her more normal behavior. Previously, she'd been almost silent throughout the day. It seemed that she finally was able to function a bit more normally.
"John is out on a case. I'm waiting for his video call."
Calvin glanced down at him. "John's taking your cases now, then?" she asked, amused. He snorted.
"No. I simply am going to be taking the less important cases by means of video. John takes a laptop out with him, I solve cases from the comfort of my own home."
Calvin chuckled softly. "Sounds lazy to me," she teased, walking to the kitchen to put the kettle on. He shot her an irritated look, but could trust that she'd still share the tea she was brewing.
It was quiet for a while, the only sounds were Calvin in the kitchen. She'd decided to cook breakfast, as well, since John was not home. She glanced at Sherlock and put a few pieces of bread in the toaster for him. Since he'd been sleeping, she guessed that he was having a 'normal person day'... i.e. he was eating and sleeping like a normal human for once. Must be the lack of 'good' cases, like murders. He felt he culd 'disrupt his thinking' for a day.
When she set the plate and the cup of tea in front of him, she could tell he was about to say something to her. She lingered for a second after she turned her back, waiting for what he had to say.
"You do realize that I consider myself married to my work." he said, after which Calvin heard the crunch of toast being eaten. Calvin smiled to herself before turning to look over her shoulder.
"You and Saria are much too alike."
Sherlock turned to look over his shoulder at her, as well. "I explained this t John already, as well, do not misplace your affections in me. I am not the... romantic type." He was trying very hard to put it in terms that a 'normal' person would understand. it also seemed as though he was trying not to hurt her feelings.
"I noticed that, Sherlock." Calvin said, amused. "But you can put your mind at ease. I'm not lovesick nor will I ever be. I'm not dating material, anyway."
"Quite right."
Calvin laughed under her breath. "I don't mean just for you, Sherlock. I mean in general. I am not the... romantic type." she explained with a grin, mimicking the way he had uttered the same sentence before her.
"You kissed me."
"Very observant. Purely experimental, I assure you."
"What were you testing."
"My hypothesis was that if I did something unexpected, that you would stop talking. Kissing you seemed to be the best option, although now you are simply convinced that I am somehow in love with you." Calvin explained.
"Want to know my hypothesis?" Sherlock asked, standing up. Calvin remembered that he was in just a sheet as he towered over her.
"You'll tell me no matter my answer."
"I think that you were in an emotionally unstable state, which caused you to act out irrationally... possibly upon a deep-seated desire."
"Yes, because seeing my brother dead really turns me on."
Sherlock studied her face. "Are you saying that if I kissed you, there would be absolutely no effect?" he asked cryptically.
"No, that's not what I was saying. But there wouldn't be."
"No?"
"None."
Sherlock's lips lifted just slightly. "Care to test that?"
Calvin scrutinized him critically, not sure that she had heard right. She must be losing her mind. "For what purpose?"
"Purely experimental, I assure you." Sherlock replied, mimicking her words from earlier. Calvin smirked softly.
"Fine. Lay it on me, handsome." she said flippantly, tilting her head up just a bit. But Sherlock waited a moment. He knew exactly what to do. His eyes met hers, blue on blue, as his hands traveled up her arms to her shoulders - gooseflesh popped up on her bare arms as his fingers brushed over them. Calvin was expecting just a kiss, but he was stimulating her skin beforehand, making it like a real kiss - a lover's kiss. When her eyes focused back on him, he was worlds closer. His lips brushed hers gently as his hands gripped her shoulders. Calvin was startled, fists clenched at her sides in surprise as she stumbled to respond to him.
It was slow and strangely passionate. Sherlock's hands slid further to cup around her neck... or so Clavin thought. Two of his cool, slender fingers suddenly pressed against her pulse point. He pulled away unceremoniously with a triumphant, and mocking, expression.
"Elevated heart rate. A reaction." he informed her cheekily, sitting back down in his chair. Calvin blinked, and then laughed.
"How did you learn to kiss like that, Sherlock? Have plenty of mistresses in your time, did you? Doesn't your work get jealous... since you're married to it and all?" she asked, snickering under her breath.
Sherlock scowled, his victory short-lived with her inane teasing. "I have knowledge on vast amounts of subjects." he muttered, irritated.
"But you don't know anything about the solar system." Calvin reminded him, laughing again. She walked away, heading downstairs to paint a bit for the day. The laptop 'ping'd and John was suddenly on the screen. Sherlock ignored Calvin's laughing as he began focusing on the case.
"You think snogging is more important than the solar system!" Calvin called up the stairs, so very amused by the new development. Sherlock turned sharply.
"Shut up!"
OoOoOoOo
IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AGHHHH.
I've been tirelessly sewing for a cosplay and buying stuff and homework-ing the past week that I just haven't had time to finish this. It's kind of sucky, I apologize, but HEY LOOK A KISS. TWO FOR TWO CHAPTERS, MOTHERFUCKERS.
Meh. I'm still kind of dissatisfied.
But before ya'll are like 'CALVIN GOT OVER CHASE'S DEATH TOO QUICK' lemme remind you that Calvin has spent her whole life hiding her true feelings. Though they were overwhelming the first week, during the investigation and the funeral, she now had returned to her old self, tirelessly hiding her sadness and fear. Whoopie.
ANYWAY
Next chapter is the Irene chapter! Yay! Yes, Calvin will be tagging along to meet Irene. I'm really excited for them to meet. Especially with Irene naked and Calvin being... Calvin.
Okay! So thank you, as always, for all your love and support! I appreciate all of you and I adore all of you! Yaay! So let me know what you thought of this chapter! I'd love to hear from you!
LOVE YOU ALL!
Jess