'Cause I've been livin' in the half life
Not sure which way to turn
Why must a man lose everything
To find out what he wants
-High Hope by Glen Hansard
Kate was back on Reggie's side, holding the trapped girl's hand as she lay helplessly underneath the mass of concrete confining her. The silence was louder than ever before as Kate leaned her head back against the broken slab of wall behind her. The searing pain in her back was becoming unbearable now and Kate wondered how much blood she could loose before she would begin blacking out as a small pool of it began to form on the side her injury lay.
"What do you think happened to Donald?" Reggie asked, pulling Kate from her thoughts.
"His internal injuries, they must have caused his lungs to slowly fill up with blood," Kate answered, closing her eyes as she tried to keep the room from spinning once again.
"How come you know so much about the medical side of this day?"
Kate lifted her head at the sound of Reggie's quiet question. She looked down at her friend and noticed the girl looked paler than ever.
"My father…" Kate started, reaching down to Reggie to brush back the wisps of hair that was sticking to her clammy forehead. "He considered himself a faith healer, one who thought he had the power to heal all kinds of illnesses and injuries by spiritual means."
Reggie listened silently, taking in shaky breathes of air as Kate explained her father's zealous beliefs. She knew it was a moment where commentary didn't belong.
"He would drag us all over the place…" Kate said, staring blankly ahead as her story unfolded. "From town to town, trying to heal the maimed and sick. When someone was injured badly at work, someone diagnosed with cancer, or when someone was simply dying… they'd call my father. My family would have to stand there and watch. Sometimes it seemed like it worked, his praying and rituals… luck really…but most times…"
Kate's voice trailed off as the memory of her fathers booming voice echoed through her ears while he commanded over the cries of pain.
"…I'd have to stand there and watch someone bleed out," Kate began again, her brow deeply furrowed as she tried to make sense of it all. "I got so tired of just standing there feeling so helpless, so I started sneaking away when my father thought I was out sharing the Word, but really I'd go to the library and read every medical book I could get my hands on. Books on how to set broken bones, bleeding control, internal injuries, handling diseases, even how to treat canker sores… I wanted to know it all."
"Well, that must have come handy for your father," Reggie tried, softly.
Kate shook her head and smiled sadly.
"Never got a chance to use the knowledge," She said, her voice coming out low. "I was too scared to use it. I was even more helpless than before because I knew what needed to be done… but I couldn't. I could never let him know what I had done. That I didn't believe he could heal them… So I just stood there..."
Reggie looked up at her friend with sadness.
"…I was only fourteen," Kate whispered, her eyes relaying the unspeakable pain.
"Parents, they're peculiar creatures sometimes," Reggie said, her voice shaking as a chill ran through her body. "When I was fourteen, I couldn't get along with my Mom's live-in boyfriend, so I gave her the option, me or him."
"What happened?"
"I had a new address the next week," Reggie said, smiling weakly. "But it turned out okay. I got a job at a washing machine factory and landed rent of a sweet little loft above the local grocery store. On the weekends, the family would let me ride along with their son in their Rolling Store truck out to the farmlands. It was some of the best memories of my life."
"Oh, yeah?" Kate asked, smiling down at her friend. She was glad to see her friend perk up as she thought of the memories.
"Yeah, being out on the open road, it was the best thing in the world… the grocer's son… his name was Albert Rigby…. We'd talk about anything and everything. Life, our dreams, or about nothing at all. He was amazing."
"So I take you and Albert were more than just friends?" Kate smiled sweetly.
"Yeah, eventually," Reggie sighed, happily. "It just… it was like finding your other half. You just know you fit together because all the different jagged edges, discolored lines, and rugged parts of your life… they just line up and lock in perfectly with their own nook and crannies."
Kate nodded her understanding as an image of Betty smiling from her spot on the factory line played in her mind. Betty knew all the jagged parts of her life just as Kate knew every twisted line that made Betty the toughest girl she'd ever known.
"Have you ever known a person who just got you?" Reggie asked.
"Yeah," Kate said, smiling shyly. "When without a word, with just a glance, they know when you are in pain or scared or happy… any number of feelings. They'd know instantly, because they were the only person you ever wanted to share them with."
Reggie nodded and smiled. "Are you thinking of Ivan?"
"Ivan? Oh," Kate said, blushing while looking down. "No, a friend, actually."
Reggie looked up and regarded her, as if she were examining a long awaited truth in front of her before giving Kate a small smile, causing the redhead to blush and look away.
Betty was the only person she ever wanted to share her feelings with. She was the only person she wanted to share anything with really. When she came into her life, it was the first time in her life that she felt like she had something worth to share.
"Albert had the prettiest blue eyes I've ever known," Reggie said, breaking into Kate's thoughts.
"Blue eyes?" Kate asked surprised. "He was…"
"White as a lily on a sunny day?" Reggie asked, her laugh coming out in short breaths. "Yeah. I think it's why I dig Tolstoy so much… now there's a fella who got complicated love stories … For if it is true that there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts."
Kate looked down at her friend as the words washed over her.
"When you find that person," Reggie said softly, squeezing Kate's hand. "Who makes your tomorrows look better. Who gives you a reason to be brave and makes you remember how to dream again … that person who, when living without them, means you're only living a half-life… When you find that person, Kate…. You hold onto them for dear life."
Kate wordlessly nodded as she leaned her head back against the wall behind her and felt her friend's words flutter through her soul, lighting a path of freedom that began and ended with her heart.
With Ivan, she only shared what she had to, but with Betty… Betty was whom she shared her life with.
She had spent her whole life being afraid, until she met Betty. In the short time she had known her, she had felt braver and more alive than she ever dreamed possible. The truth was simple and clear.
Betty was her better tomorrow.
Silence fell between them once more as Kate allowed her thoughts to stir ambers of hope and possibility through her mind. The sound of Reggie's shallow breaths echoed in the small pocket of fallen debris.
"Kate?" Reggie called out, her voice shaking again. "Did those medical books ever tell you what it means if you can't see anymore?"
"What?" Kate asked, lifting her head at the strange sound of her friend's voice.
"I can't see you anymore…" She said, blinking as she tried focusing on Kate. "I can't see anything anymore… what does that mean?"
"I don't know…" Kate whispered, looking down at her in alarm. "I never got that far. It was only a few weeks before my father found out about my secret…"
"Oh," Reggie said, her whole body now shaking with cold. "Too bad."
"Maybe I could try and find a way out again," Kate said, sitting up as she looked around the room. "Try again to find a hole to force my way through or something…"
She began to climb up onto her knees. She had to do something. She knew what the bruises on Reggie's chest meant; she knew time was precious and going against whatever internal injuries the trapped girl was suffering from. She had to get help for her friend somehow.
"Noo," Reggie pleaded, desperately clasping onto Kate's hands with her one free hand. "Please don't leave me… I don't want to be alone. Please don't go."
The sound of fear in her voice overwhelmed Kate as she cradled Reggie's hand in both of hers.
"Okay, I'm right here," She reassured her. "I'm not going anywhere then."
Reggie nodded as she lay there shaking, her face displaying the terror she felt. Her fingers felt so cold in between Kate's hands. She had read enough of the medical books to know what that meant – a thought she tried to push back.
"I'm sure help will be here soon," She said, trying to sound hopeful. "Then we'll get out and warm up finally."
"Sounds good."
"So tell me," Kate knew she had to keep the girl talking and her mind off of what her body was telling her. "What ever happened between you and Albert?"
"Parents.. hiss… parents eventually found out," She stuttered. "Didn't end so well for us. Albert was sent away to boarding school, I lost my loft one week… job the next…"
"That's a pity."
"Yeaah, welll," She joked, her voice shaking uncontrollably. "Apparently, if… if you're the only one in town carrying Palmolive, you've got some pull."
Kate smiled as she felt tears well up in her eyes. Of course her friend would joke at a time like this if it meant making her smile.
"Well, when we get out, you'll have to write Albert and tell him how much he still means to you."
"How much I want to spend the rest of my life with him?"
"And how much of that life you never even knew you wanted until you met him."
Reggie closed her eyes as her own tears slipped out, nodding her head in agreement.
"And you'll…" she breathed out. "You'll tell your friend… the same?"
"Yeah," Kate whispered. "We'll be brave together."
"And… I'll tell Mrs. Corbett," Reggie said, breathlessly as her words took more effort now. "A thank you for giving me a second chance… for giving me a home again. She should know that, right?"
"Absolutely," Kate said, brushing away the tears as they raced down the curves of Reggie's face. "You'll tell her yourself."
They both knew they were making promises that weren't guaranteed.
"Kate, I'm kinda tired of talking…" Reggie's voice came out weakly. "Could you, maybe, sing that new Billie Holiday song you sang two nights ago… at the Jewel Box."
"I'll be Seeing You?" Kate asked, unsure if it was a song she wanted to dare sing right then.
"Yeah," Reggie gasped, smiling up at Kate. "It's my favorite of yours. It's a song worth singing. We'll sing it together when we're out and it's warm again... to Albert and your friend even."
Kate cleared her throat and wondered how she was ever going to hit the right notes, but she would do anything for her friend.
I'll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day and through
Kate started, her voice raspy at first, but becoming stronger once she saw Reggie's happy sigh as she looked up with glassy eyes.
In that small cafe
The park across the way
The children's carousel
The chestnut trees, the wishing well
Kate brushed Reggie's hair back, putting every emotion she had left into the song for her, just as she watched Reggie's breathing slow.
I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day
In everything that's light and gay
I'll always think of you that way
A tear ran down the side of Kate's face as her voice harmonized with the melody while Reggie lay peacefully beside her.
I'll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I'll be looking at the moon
But I'll be seeing you
Reggie was no longer shaking, her breaths coming out in short breaths. Kate leaned down so her friend could hear her fully.
I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day
In everything that's light and gay
I'll always think of you that way
Kate held on tightly to Reggie's hand as she let the tune float out between them. The harmony rising just as the light slipped away from Reggie's eyes.
I'll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I'll be looking at the moon…
Kate felt Reggie's last breath brush against her cheek, her hand going limp in her own, her heart giving its last beat. Kate closed her eyes and pressed a kiss to her friend's forehead as tears streamed down her face.
The last line came out in a shaky, raspy voice…
…But I'll be seeing yooou…
A/N: This fic was first inspired by one line in one episode of the show. It was for the 2nd episode in season 2, when Lorna has the miscarriage and Gladys rushes her to the ladies dressing room, where Betty and Kate are and then Kate says a throw away line that kinda blew me away when I first saw it, she pleaded with Lorna to get help and tells her "Mam, you could bleed to death, I've seen it." It made me wonder what all she's seen in her lifetime if she's seen someone bleed to death. The scene ends with her calmly, yet effectively cleaning the blood away, like she was all too accustomed to it. In that moment, it was Kate who seemed the calmest and the one who got through to Lorna to get her to seek the help she needed. It gave me chills when I saw it and it sparked the idea of all the possibilities of what Kate might be capable of when faced with life and death situations and, finally, why she was so capable of it in the first place. Anyways, that's a little back story to this fic. Thanks for reading it so far!