Here it is in my hands
In my veins, and overlands
It spreads like fire, seeking air
To pull me in, my own funfair
Won't you come, won't you come
Won't you come, just don't say a word
-Don't Say A Word by Ellie Goulding
Betty paced the floor of the common room and checked the clock on the wall for the third time that half hour. After they left the Jewel Box, she spent the rest of the afternoon trying to track Arlene down. She never found her, but she did leave word at one of their old haunts for her to come by the boarding house around seven because they needed to talk. She wasn't sure it would work. The other girl wasn't exactly known for sticking around in one place for very long. She usually hopped from one town to the next once she'd worn out her welcome. When she first met Arlene, she'd found her carefree lifestyle thrilling, freeing even, which was ironic considering she met her during her jailhouse days. Now all she could do was hold her breath and wait to see where this finale road lead, if Arlene decided to venture down it.
Of course, Betty wasn't sure she even wanted to go down this road, but Gladys had been persistent as ever about seeing it through, so here she stood at a quarter to eight just waiting for the other girl to show up. Gladys spent the day working on her part of the plan while Kate came home quiet and reflective. Betty figured she must have been tired since she'd gone straight to her room when they returned home and had not been seen since.
She was honestly thankful Kate needed her rest. She wasn't sure she had the guts to carry out Gladys' plan and face the truth of the accident with Kate around. She purposely stayed out looking for Arlene longer than she needed. A fact she didn't want to examine too closely, it was just easier that way.
"Where is everyone?" Arlene called out behind her.
Betty looked back, surprised to see the other girl standing in the doorway. She'd half expected and half hoped Arlene wouldn't show up, but there she was. Betty could no ignore what had to be done. "The factory opens back up next week, so this place will be a ghost town until then."
"You planning to go back?"
"I dunno," Betty shrugged. "You?"
Arlene smirked at Betty's answer. "Nah, I think its time for me to move along. I've got more sunsets to see and all that."
"Sounds kind of nice," Betty said. "These days I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I should look into it. Moving on, I mean."
"Yeah, it is nice," Arlene smiled, but then cocked her head to the side. "But you'd never do it."
"Why not? I could," Betty shrugged, looking down as she thought of the idea and pictured herself packing her bags. "It might be nice to start over fresh for once."
"You'd just move away?" Arlene asked in a tone that said she was unconvinced.
"Maybe…"
Arlene snorted and shook her head as she walked the rest of the way in to the room. "Yeah, right. You'd never leave the factory, your little friends, or the insipid dreams and ideals you've built here, but most of all, you would never leave her."
Betty looked up at the accusations being thrown her way.
"There is no moving on for you. You're stuck here destined for heartbreak because that's what you do. Always so willing to chain yourself to a sinking ship."
"And what you're doing is better?" Betty asked.
"Moving on with my life? Yeah."
"See, I don't know, doesn't really sound like moving on … to me it seems more like running."
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"You claim you know me, but maybe I know you too. You don't ever just move on, you run."
Arlene shook her head and turned to leave. "Whatever."
"Look at you go, doing what you do best. What are you running from this time, Arlene? You afraid things might get too explosive for you?"
"What?" Arlene stopped and asked coldly.
"You're always on the run from something, so you leaving makes me think, just what are you running from now?"
"What are you trying to imply?" Arlene asked, turning around.
"Did you have something to do with the explosion at the factory? Seems kinda fishy that the factory has an unaccountable explosion and you're ready to skip town."
"What?" Arlene laughed. "Are you crazy?"
"You've always hated that factory. Always were ready to put it down and push me to skip work or just flat out quit. And you've always resented it and everything it stood for, so maybe you were trying to make sure it was out of my life."
"This is absurd. I think you and that Witham girl have watched one to many espionage movies."
"Come on, Arlene," Betty said, watching as the other girl began to pace back and forth. "I've heard your stories, I had to listen to you go over each in detail as we shared a jail cell last spring, remember? Nothing just happens by accident when you're around."
Betty watched as the girl fretted nervously in front of her. She wondered if this was what a boxer felt like when they had someone on the ropes, she steadied herself as she prepared to deliver her best right hook.
"You said it best when you first arrived, 'we're going to blow this town wide open,' and boy, you made sure of it, didn't you?"
Arlene shook her head and nervously placed both hands at the back of her neck as Betty rolled on.
"Jealousy over that place was the only fuel you needed. It was the biggest scheme you've pulled off yet. You ripped that factory wide open all because you hated it."
"It was Kate!" Arlene blurted out, delivering a punch of her own as she desperately looked at Betty.
"What?" Betty said with her heart in her throat.
"It was Kate I wanted to get rid of, after the way she treated you and how upset you were over it, but I never meant for it to happen the way it did, I swear."
"What did you do?" Betty asked, her voice low and deadly.
"I mixed up the amatol and cordite. Gave it a little more of both than the normal standard. But I thought if her bomb set failed inspection, it would just get her fired, not blow up. I didn't think it would cause an explosion, you have to believe that."
If this really were a boxing match that would have been the one knock out blow for Betty, she would have been down for the count and out of the match. She had no more fight left in her as Arlene's confession sunk in.
It didn't matter anyways, her fight was over, the double doors leading into the kitchen's pantry swung open as a uniformed police officer walked into the room with Chief Draper, Lorna, and Gladys following close behind. They had been hiding in the smaller room, listening in on the confession the whole time. Gladys' great plan was to stuff them all in the pantry, bait Arlene over to get her to talk, and hope like hell she spoke loud enough for them to hear a good enough confession.
"That'll do, Ms. McRae," Chief Draper announced as the police officer came up behind Arlene and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Arlene Schneider, you are under arrest for falsifying government security documents in order to obtain employment at VicMu and for taking subversive action against the Canadian war effort."
"This is all a mistake," Arlene said, her eyes wide and frantic. She stepped backwards from the police officer, but it was too late, the net had been casted and with its heavy fall came down the girl whom Betty had once hoped would free her of the pain and misery she'd felt. How wrong she had been.
"Treason is just the beginning charge for you, now is a time you might want to think wisely about your words," Chief Draper warned, he and the officer both took a side, boxing her in as they lead her towards the door.
"I can't believe you did this," Arlene said, catching Betty's eye as she passed her.
Betty held her bitter glare. She only had one thing left to say to her.
"The only sinking ship here was you, this is just me trying to save the survivors."
With that, the uniformed officer tightened his grip around Arlene's arm and pulled her through the door and out of Betty's life.
"Thank you all for your help tonight," Chief Draper said, lingering long enough to share his gratitude. "Ms. McRae, I am going to note what you did here tonight, make sure its known in your records of your help. I know one thing, Canada could use a few more fine broads like those at VicMu."
Betty only nodded as she watched the older man turn and leave. It was a compliment that she should have taken comfort in, but all she could feel was the walls closing in on her.
The three women left stood in silence as the commotion of the short excitement died down. Betty kept her head turned, not ready to meet either of their eyes yet.
"He didn't say anything I didn't already know," Lorna said gently, knowing Betty's telling silence. "I'm proud of the two of you. You both did a fine job tonight."
"Betty here did the hard part. I just had to line up the big cats to catch the mouse."
"Well, either way, it is good to get this whole ordeal behind us, it's time to soldier on now. Ms. McRae, I presume I'll be seeing you Monday at work, correct?"
Betty finally looked up to see the resolve in her mentor's expression. As daunting as everything seemed at the moment, she knew where she belonged come next week. "Yes Mam. I'll be on the line."
"Good," Lorna said with a short nod. "I should go break the news to Mr. Atkins. I'm sure he'll appreciate the news that it wasn't careless error that caused this mess."
Betty wanted to say it was her doing. Arlene may have struck the match, but she was the one that provided the matches, but instead, she could only watched as their floor matron and sometimes-makeshift mother left them behind.
It had been a strange night. She could feel Gladys stare and wondered if the night could become any more awkward or complicated. All she needed now was for Kate to come popping out of the coat closet saying she had heard the whole awful confession to complete the night from hell.
"You should go talk to her, tell her it's all over. She'll be happy to hear it."
"Oh, I don't know about that," Betty said, shaking her head. "Besides, I don't even know how to explain what happened tonight."
"Well, I already told her of our suspicions and plan for tonight, so you don't have to worry about that."
"You told her?" Betty asked as her eyebrows rose in alarm. No wonder she hadn't seen Kate the whole afternoon, they'd probably both been avoiding each other. "Why would you go do a thing like that?"
"Because she deserved to know, Betty."
She sighed heavily, knowing the other girl was right. Everything just seemed so complicated now. Kate had been the target of Arlene's hate all because of her and Betty didn't know how to bear such troublesome truths.
"Just go talk to her," Gladys offered gently, breaking into Betty's distraught thoughts.
"I don't know what to say. Sorry my friend accidentally, sorta on purpose, killed your friend? Not exactly an ice breaker," Betty rattled out, shaking her head at the absurdity of it all.
"Well, no, I wouldn't lead with that," Gladys replied dryly. "Just be yourself. You two must have spoken a million words in the short time you've known each other. Now is the time to make them count for once. It'll come to you once you're in front of her, I'm sure."
Sure, that was easy for her to say, Betty wanted to call out as she watched the other girl turn and leave as well. It was just like Gladys to storm in with her whirlwind ideas and then leave her standing behind to pick up the pieces left in her wake. This time the whirlwind had been her fault and the pieces left behind were of shattered friendships and broken promises of the past.
Betty found herself slowly making her way down the hallway. Before she knew it, she was standing right in front of Kate's door, where it stood looking more daunting than ever. It was a simple wooden door held up by a few screws and hinges, but tonight it seemed larger than life.
She felt angry with herself for everything she couldn't control. For not knowing whether to go to Kate and apologize or turn away and hide from this newly revealed truth. She felt angry for all that had happened. For letting Kate go back to her father, for taking the fall of Kate's father's death, for not doing it sooner. For letting Arlene come into their lives and allowing her to create such a mess. For not protecting Kate better. And for not protecting herself.
Reaching out to the doorknob, she let her hand hover over the brass fixture before pulling it back hesitantly. She tried to think of what she could say once she was standing in front of Kate. Perhaps Gladys was right. Maybe she could wing it; she and Kate had been getting along so well lately, it seemed like old times, almost. So she lifted her hand to knock, but after a moment of frozen apprehension, she let it fall heavily back to her side. Old times were long ago, before the death of friends and fathers and friendships.
She felt like a sailor lost at sea, her inner thoughts and feelings were as turbulent and dark as the ocean, knocking her around leaving her feeling tired and helpless. Would she drown or swim to safety? With a sickening feeling, she realized she never learned how to swim. A girl growing up in the prairies never had the need to learn. With this thought, she turned back towards her room.
What words could she offer to Kate that would save them both from this rising tide?
With a heavy heart, Betty trudged the few feet across the hallway and opened her door, only to find that Kate was there, standing across Betty's room. Her face was etched with worry and sadness as she clasped her hands in front of her and leaned against the dresser, as if she had been waiting there for her all this time.
Their eyes locked instantly and Kate knew all that had happened. Arlene was gone. Betty had turned her in and it was all over now. This chapter in their lives was coming to an end, and yet, here they stood in front of each other, waiting to start a new one.
Neither one knew who gave in first or who took the first step, but they both met the other in the middle of the room for a desperate embrace. Their bodies frantic to find the other as they crashed into each other. Kate wove her arms around Betty's neck while Betty slid her hands around Kate's back, careful of the other girl's injuries, but pulling her firmly against her chest.
It was an embrace that spoke the words that neither knew how to say. An unspoken truth that crossed between them, spelled out with warm skin and racing hearts. Kate's hands glided down Betty's back as if to smooth away the mistakes she had made. A caress to assure Betty that she would never let her fear hurt her again. Her head was tucked away on Betty's shoulder as she breathed in Betty's own apology, a shaky breath against her ear as Betty's head rested against hers, telling Kate she was sorry for all that had happened and for all that she had not done to keep her safe. She felt Betty's strong arms hold her close as if she were promising to never let her go again while Kate's own tight grip told Betty she didn't want her to.
Not a word was spoken as they held each other that night. They weren't needed as the cracks in their friendship began to heal while bound together in each other's arms. Kate took a deep breath to inhale all of Betty that she could. Her friend smelled like a beautiful mixture of cigarettes, peppermint, and something that was perfectly Betty. A blend that floated through Kate and traced its way down to the pit of her stomach, sending jolts of warm energy throughout her body, leaving her feeling tingly all over. It was a sensation that both surprised her and left her feeling breathless. Mostly though, it made her feel safe. A feeling that was also tied back to something uniquely Betty. She realized it was a feeling that was awakened inside of her the day Betty showed her how to unlock her door the very first time they met. An ironic truth that felt as natural and intoxicating as Betty's arms pulling her closer felt.
For Betty, the embrace felt like acceptance. She knew the Arlene's and Vernon Rowley's of their lives were behind them now. She felt it in Kate's tight grip, in the way their bodies melded together as if they were always meant to. In the way Kate's lips scraped across her shoulder as she tried to bury herself deeper in the embrace, sending a thrill through Betty like electricity. She knew the problems they had weren't going to break them as long as they had each other. She also knew the importance of this lesson was underlined and scored in silence. As Kate pressed her head against hers, breathing in the moment between them, it sent a chorus of feelings tumbling through Betty, humming their way across the quietest corners of her soul and filling them with a tune only Kate could carry. And in that moment, in the center of her room, with her arms as full as her heart felt, Betty found peace.
They lost track of the time as they lost themselves in each other, standing there for anyone to walk in to see an embrace that clearly meant more than either was ready to admit.
But for now, both knew without a doubt, it felt like they weren't drowning anymore.