I rewrote this a few times, still not so happy with it, but here it is.

Don't own Twilight.

I opened my eyes slowly. I was so damn groggy, nothing was even making sense. I could see a very blurry Sam talking with a even more blurry Bella. I went to say something but I was already falling back into unconsciousness. I better not be dead.

I woke up again, a little more alert this time. I turned my head and was relieved it listened to me this time. I saw an IV stuck in my arm. Well, that would explain me being asleep. I glared at the stand and bag of medicine hanging beside my bed. Whoever set this shit up must of had it practically pouring into my veins for it to work. I wondered how long I had been out, and I tried to remember. Everything was kind of fuzzy. I remembered slightly waking up and finally phasing back, screaming as the pain crippled me before I was out again. Whatever, maybe I didn't want to know what happened right now. I finally focused on the soft hushed voice in the room.

I turned my head to the other side and saw Bella sitting in a chair, facing the wall that had various pictures hung up. "No I'm staying here Edward." She said bitterly into the phone she cradled between her face and shoulder. "He can't hurt me because you broke half of his body." She remarked to whatever he said. I raised my eyebrows, mildly amused. She sighed. "Yes I know it was just as much his fault too, but things are...complicated." I snorted at her words, complicated as quite an understatement. She quickly looked to me with relief, worry, then just plain anger going across her face in a matter of minutes. "I have to go, I'll see you later." She snapped the phone closed and glared at me. "What were you thinking?"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't think I was, I never do. That's the beauty about me, I just do. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it just doesn't. My only regret is that it's me in this bed." I grumbled and went to sit up, pleased that there was no pain.

She sighed and scooted closer, laying a hand on my arm that didn't have the annoying needle stuck in it. "You can't do that."

"You're just pissed because your precious Edward almost got hurt. It's alright, I understand that." I spat at her. "This is what you've always wanted." I started picking at the needle in my right arm until I yanked it out. There, that was better. I looked up to meet her gaze. "I just don't understand how you're going to let him come back into your life like nothing happened. Just...forget even about the imprint. It's not like we've had long. All there is is this annoying pull for you." It didn't matter that I had allowed myself to start to accept it. "I won't apologize for what I did though. I'm fiercely protective." At least I was still able to hang onto some pride, considering I was out for who knows how long.

"I never asked for this." She mumbled, looking down. I could already feel my insides ripping into a million pieces.

"And neither did I. I tried the best to my ability, but I'm not stupid." And the million pieces ripped into two million pieces. But fuck, I was stronger than this. There was this strange feeling starting to take over me. It was like I was beginning to go numb to anything emotional. I didn't know if it was still the medicine that was lingering or if it was a defense I had put up to protect myself. That was better. "Just...stay away from us." I mumbled, getting out of bed. I was thankful someone at least had the decency to pull some pants up on me. Ugh, the pressing need to piss was overpowering.

I turned to glance over at Bella who looked hurt and confused. I just shrugged to myself. I did all that I could at the moment. I went into the bathroom without another word and a few moments later I heard the front door open and close.

My days all blended together. Sam didn't punish me too hard since Carlisle, the "leader" of the Cullen coven, didn't count the fight as me breaking the treaty. Something about it being unfortunate but understandable given the complicated circumstances. I rolled my eyes when I heard him through the packs minds. I was made to do more patrols, but I ended up volunteering for more. I didn't need sleep. Laying in bed let my mind wander and the numbness would fade. I was free being my wolf, and for now that was enough. I wasn't allowed off the reservation as my wolf though, afraid I might have another confrontation with Edward. I rolled my eyes again at that. I just wanted to get the red head killed, sink my teeth into her, then I...well I didn't really know what I would do. Right now this was all I was allowing myself to focus on.

I barely phased back to my human form, only enough to eat since quite frankly killing something and eating it raw plain ol fucking sucked, and to appease my mother once in a while by showing my face if she was home. That didn't happen often, usually when she was home it was just to sleep. She caught me one day in the kitchen as I rummaged through the cabinets, scowling as I only found some soup, cereal, and frozen dinners in the freezer but I didn't want to eat at Emily's. The pack was all looking at me with pity in their eyes. I didn't need their fucking pity. Sometimes things just work out.

"Paul? Honey you look like hell. When's the last time you shaved?" She said as she sat down at the table with a cup of coffee in her work clothes.

I touched the long stubble on my face. I never really tested out the theory like other teenage boys did trying to grow out their facial hair. I shrugged and sat down, pulling the tab off the soup and drinking it out of the can cold. "I'll take a shower later." I mumbled.

"Are you okay?" I could see the worry etched across her face. "Maybe I should take a few days off of work."

"I'm fine." I tried to look convincing. "And you know we can't afford it." I felt bad. I was eighteen, I should be able to get a part time job to help out, but I couldn't until this vampire situation was taken care of. I wished I could explain to her what I was, it was left up to me, but I didn't think she could deal with it. She should at least be happy I managed to graduate last year.

"Well you don't look fine." She mumbled, taking a sip out of her mug. "You know I'm here if you need to talk." I wasn't convinced as she looked at the clock on the wall and sighed, standing up. She did her best putting food on the table and paying the bills but we were never close like a son and mother should be, even before my father left us.

"Go to work." I said simply before I stood up and walked outside. I sat on the front porch until she was running to her car and pulling out to go back to the office. I shook my head, letting my mind wander. As much as I hated it the thoughts of Bella came. I wondered how she was doing. Was she even suffering, even just a little bit?

Heavy footsteps caused me to look up, raising my eyebrows at Jacob. "Hey." He said, taking a seat beside me. "We have a meeting with the Cullen's later at the treaty line. The short one saw something. Apparently they need our help." He snorted, amused and proud at this fact.

I just shook my head and cracked a small smirk. "Yeah? Am I allowed to come to said meeting?"

Jake shrugged his shoulders. "I don't see why not. I don't think you're going to do anything, you're doing good just to function. You do need a good nights sleep though." He looked over at me, hiding the worry easily though he continued to talk. "You won't be any good to us unless you do sleep, you know."

I growled but I knew he was right. Little naps here and there weren't cutting it.

"You need to talk to Bella, Paul. I saw her the other day, she asked about you, and to be honest she doesn't look too good."

"That's none of your fucking business." I spat, the anger surging through me. "Leave it alone, she made her choice."

"Sometimes people make the wrong choices before they figure out the right ones. It's not right for you to suffer like this. Things that are worth anything aren't easy to get."

I shot him a warning glance. "Shut the fuck up already, I don't ned a pep talk and I don't need your advice." I took a deep shaky breath. "What time is the meeting?"

"Nine tonight." He said with a sigh. "Meet up at Emily's first."

I nodded before turning and walking to the trees. I needed to run and forget.