Dead Rose
Chapter 5: Denvers Lament
"Sunflower, may I have a word with you please?"
Sunflower turned her head to see her leader standing behind her. Sunflower swallowed her vole in two gulps and nodded. "Sure, Jaggedstar," she replied, feeling a tinge of unease. "What's this about?"
"Ah, well," Jaggedstar shifted awkwardly on his paws. "Let's go to my den to talk."
"Uh, alright," Sunflower followed Jaggedstar into his secluded den in the corner of the camp, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. Once they were inside the den and settled, Jaggedstar spoke again.
"So, Sunflower," he started. "I wanted to discuss Spottedleafs litter with you."
"Okay," Sunflower said in confusion, thinking of the three kits Spottedleaf had given birth to moons ago. Reedpaw, Smallpaw and Jaypaw, Sunflowers apprentice.
"I'm going to be holding a warrior ceremony tonight," Jaggedstar said slowly, carefully. Sunflower didn't notice his caution, and smiled happily. "I'm so proud of Jaypaw," she said, heart lifting tremendously at the thought of her apprentice finally becoming a warrior. Then a thought hit her like a blow to the side of the head. "Wait... why do you look so upset about it?"
"I'll be holding a warrior ceremony," Jaggedstar said after a long silence. "For Reedpaw and Smallpaw."
"But... Jaypaw too, right?" Sunflower asked, even though she already knew the answer. Anger boiled beneath her pelt, and she glared at her leader.
"Jaypaw will not be made a warrior yet," Jaggedstar said quietly.
"I figured that out myself," Sunflower hissed, rising to her paws. "How could you, Jaggedstar? He will be devastated that his brothers will be made warriors without him!"
"I feel bad, but there's nothing I can do about it," Jaggedstar defended himself. "Jaypaws not ready, plain and simple."
"Excuse me," Sunflower growled, getting very angry. "I'm his mentor. I train him."
"Yeah, well, Sunflower, we both know you're soft on him," Jaggedstar said. "Everyone see's it, even Jaypaw. The only reason he hasn't said anything about it is because he likes it that way because even your soft side is a challenge for him."
"Give me one example when I've been soft," Sunflower hissed. "I train that cat as I would any other."
"When I overlooked a training session a while ago, Scarface had Reedpaw practicing a double fight on two warriors. Leopardfur was showing Smallpaw how to leap a cat twice his size. You were sitting in the corner with Jaypaw screaming your heads off."
Sunflower knew what he was talking about at once. Scream was an exercise Sunflower did with Jaypaw every so often. It consisted of screaming at the top of their lungs for as long as possible, to release anger and frustration. It really helped Jaypaw, and Sunflower joined in when they were around others so he wouldn't feel embarrassed screaming by himself.
"We were doing Scream on that day because Jaypaw was having a horrible past few days prior to that," Sunflower explained angrily. "He wasn't feeling well enough to do regular fighting training so we did Scream instead."
"I'm not even going to explain to you how weird your screaming exercise is," Jaggedstar hissed through gritted teeth. "But I will tell you this. Even if Jaypaw was feeling well that day, he would have done terribly with his fighting training. He always does."
"He's a little slower with the techniques because of his eye," Sunflower whispered, voice scathing. "He cannot see through one eye, if you've forgotten."
"Oh no, I'd never forget," Jaggedstar growled. "You use it as an excuse every time Jaypaws mentioned."
"He deserves to be a warrior."
"He'd be shredded in a second in battle. He's useless at hunting."
"He will always feel like he's not good enough if his brothers are made warriors and he's not."
"Sunflower, I really don't have a choice here. Scarface agrees too."
"Scarface?" Sunflower cried. "Jaypaws dad doesn't even want him to be a warrior?"
"He wants him to become a warrior when he's ready," was Jaggedstars simple response. "I'm sorry, Sunflower. Now is not that time."
At this point, Sunflower was shaking from rage. "He'll be ready soon enough," she spat, and with that, stalked out of the den. She walked across the clearing in silence, bones trembling with rage. She was dimly aware of Jaypaw making his way towards her, but she was so upset she could barely look at him.
"Hey... what's wrong?" Jaypaw asked in alarm once he saw Sunflowers expression. "Why do you look so... distraught?"
Sunflowers heart broke at the thought of breaking the bad news to her apprentice, but she saw no point in putting it off. The evening was coming fast, and she knew she didn't have much time before Jaggedstar started the ceremony.
"Oh Jaypaw," Sunflowers voice broke, and she struggled to continue. "Your brothers are having their warriors ceremony tonight."
"My brothers... but..." Jaypaws voice trailed off. "What about me? Don't I get a ceremony too? Or is Jaggedstar just going to give me my warrior name and not congratulate me?"
Sunflower felt even worse as she realized Jaypaw was horribly misunderstood.
"Jaypaw, he's-"
"I mean, I'm okay with that if he gives me a good name," Jaypaw interrupted. "Like... Jaystorm or Jayfeather. Wouldn't those be good names?"
"Jaypaw, he's not making you a warrior," Sunflower blurted out the words before she could stop them. "The ceremony is just for your brothers."
All the life seemed to drain out of Jaypaws good eye, his clouded one didn't change. "But..." he whispered. "What about me?"
"He doesn't think you're ready," Sunflower said miserably. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," Jaypaw snapped. "It's not your fault I'm useless."
"No one said you're useless," Sunflower said defensively.
"Well, they might as well have!" Jaypaw cried, tearing up grass with his claws. "Who wants to make the cat with one eye a warrior? Ha!"
"Im going to get you there," Sunflower promised gently. "We'll do extra training and I'll help you with your hunting."
"It won't do any good," Jaypaw growled under his breath. His fur was quivering, and Sunflower knew he was hideously upset. "They won't make me a warrior. Ever."
"Yes, they will," Sunflower said. "It's just going to take a bit longer."
"Will all cats old enough to catch their own prey join me for a clan meeting!"
Sunflower felt a fresh wave of anger flow through her as she heard her leaders call. He's starting the ceremony earlier than I thought.
"Come on," Sunflower sadly nudged Jaypaw. "Let's go."
"Screw that," Jaypaw snapped, recoiling back. "I'm not gonna sit around and watch my brothers get the same thing that I deserve."
"But... don't you want to congratulate them?" Sunflower asked.
"No," Jaypaw hissed, turning away. Sunflower watched him walk a few steps before she found words. "Where are you going?" she called.
"The forest," Jaypaw spat over his shoulder. "I'm gonna go do Scream."
"Do you want me to come?" Sunflower called, not wanting to miss a warrior ceremony but at the same time riddled with guilt that she should comfort the young cat.
"No," Jaypaw turned and looked her in the eye angrily. "I want to do Scream by myself."
All Sunflower could do was watch him leave the clearing in silence.
...
Jaypaw ran through the jungle of his territory, ignoring the whiplash of branches and stems on his face. How dare he, he thought angrily. I deserve to be a warrior too! More branches lashed at his face. Jaypaw cried out in pain as one stung his good eye.
"What more can you do to me?" Jaypaw finally broke down, sinking to his paws. Blood trickled out from under his eyelid, and he squeezed both eyes shut in pain. "Kick me down again?" he screamed at the darkness. "Kill me? Ya might as well!" after a few moments of sobbing on the ground, Jaypaw picked himself up. I'll show them what it takes to be a warrior, he thought, sadness suddenly replacing itself with anger. I'll go and kill something. They won't ever forget that. Then they won't ignore me anymore. Jaypaw blinked open his eye as he stumbled through the trees. A mouse then came into view, and Jaypaw locked his good eye on it. I will kill you, little mouse, he thought to himself. I will kill you, mousy mouse. The mouses ears suddenly pricked, as if it knew something was watching. Jaypaw lifted a paw, crackling a leaf as he did so. The sound sent the mouse fleeing through the brush. Jaypaw crashed after it, barreling through the undergrowth at top speed. He blundered half blind until his lungs screamed for him to stop, and his muscles shrieked in protest. He stopped running, breath heaving from his mouth.
The mouse scuttled under a bush and disappeared.
"You almost had it. If you ran just a little bit longer, the mouse would have been yours."
Jaypaw started at the unexpected voice, and his head whipped up in alarm. A white she cat was standing a few tail lengths away, neck stretched forward as she stared at him. It was a creepy posture to be sitting in, and Jaypaw found himself feeling guarded.
"Who... who are you?" Jaypaw asked after he had caught his breath. He realized with a jolt that the white cat was from a different clan, Deadclan by the way she smelled. I didn't realize I had run so close to their border, Jaypaw thought. I better not do Scream right here. I'll alarm every cat in their clan.
"You almost had it. If you ran just a little bit longer, the mouse would have been yours," the cat said in the exact same tone she had before.
"Uh, you just said that," Jaypaw said in confusion. The cat stretched its neck out farther, hunching down. Jaypaw found himself leaning back.
"What are you doing out here?" the white cat asked, mouth moving so exaggerated it looked positively creepy. Her tongue flapped and her eyes lolled slightly.
"Um..." Jaypaw stalled. "What are you doing out here?"
"I came to do Scream," the white cat said simply. "Helps me release anger."
"You... you know of Scream?" Jaypaw shook his head in disbelief. "Sunflower said we were the only ones who did that... she made it up herself!"
"I hear you doing Scream when I wander around," the cat said. Jaypaw didn't know how it was possible, but the cat stretched its neck out farther.
"You ... hear us?" Jaypaw stammered. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to alarm anyone. Sunflower usually takes me to a secluded spot so we won't be heard."
"I always hear," the cat replied. "I like to join in."
"Who... are you?" Jaypaw asked after a long silence. I knew Deadclan was weird, but I never thought they were this weird. This cats freaking me out.
"My name is Denver," the white she cat replied.
"Denver?" Jaypaw crowed in disbelief.
"Why you sound surprised?"
Jaypaw decided to ignore the incorrect use of Denvers grammar, and pressed on. "Denver sounds like a boy cats name," he said. "You're a she cat, so it sounds funny."
"Ah, names," Denver said. "I don't like to burden myself with one. I am just me."
"Then... why did you say your name was Denver?"
"It's just easier for cats to have something to call me," Denver replied, shrugging. "It's just convenient for them, you know."
"Uh, great," Jaypaw started backing up. "Well, it was nice to meet you, Denver. I'm going to go now."
"Wait... don't you want to do Scream?" Denver called. "I know you're mad about your ceremony that Jaggedstar denied."
Jaypaw stopped and turned to look back at her, eyes narrowing. "How did you know about that?" he asked slowly.
"Because," Denver said, stepping over the border. "I know everything. Now Scream with me."
"Um, no," Jaypaw said, voice getting high pitched. "Go away."
"Fine, then I'll do it myself!" Denver opened her mouth and screamed, and to Jaypaws horror, the white cats mouth stretched double the size it should, sharp teeth glinting. It's eyes turned black, sunken eye holes that seemed to burn their way into Jaypaws soul. Jaypaw then felt a kick, and a heart wrenching tug at his body.
What the hell is going on? Is this Deadclan freak trying to possess me?!
Jaypaw rolled and jumped, thrashing at nothing. His claws pierced the invisible, and when he looked up he saw that Denver had not moved. She sat rigid still, like a stone statue, mouth wide open and eyes black. Then, with a jolt, Denvers eyes returned, and she shut her mouth with a snap. Jaypaw realized nothing was tugging at him anymore, so he stood up, shaking violently. To his surprise, Denver seemed to change. Her whole body trembled, and she shrank back like a normal cat. Her voice changed too, and when Jaypaw heard her speak again he could hardly believe she was the same cat.
"G-g-get a-away fr-from here!" she cried, frightened. "Go home and never come back here!"
"But... Denver why-" despite the weirdness that just happened, Jaypaw wanted to know what was going on. "Denver what just happened-"
"My name isn't Denver," Denver(what the hell do I call her now) whispered.
"Then... what's your name?" Jaypaw cried. "How can you just call yourself one thing and then change it?"
"Denver is a spirit," the white cat said quietly.
"Yeah, well I got that when he attacked me," Jaypaw snapped. "What happened? Did he possess you?"
The white cat stopped shaking for a minute, and looked up at Jaypaw with wide, scared eyes. "Wait..." she whispered. "You... believe... me?"
"Well, it's the most logical explanation, given the circumstances," Jaypaw sighed. I'd almost rather be watching my brothers become warriors without me rather than be here right now.
"No ones ever believed me before," the cat said in a voice so quiet Jaypaw nearly didn't catch it. "Thank you."
"Uh, you're welcome," Jaypaw replied gruffly. "Um... are you going to be okay?"
"There's not much time until Denver comes back," the white cat said in a scared voice.
"Run from him," Jaypaw said, feeling an unexpected pang of concern for the she cat. "Don't let him torment you."
"I don't have a choice," the white cat whispered. "He already sunk his claws in me and he's not letting go. And he almost got you."
"Well, he didn't," Jaypaw said proudly.
"He's just going to move on to someone else," the cat sighed. "They all will."
"What's your name?" Jaypaw blurted out, feeling rude for being so off topic but unable to think of a way to ease back into the names topic. "Since you're not Denver... who are you?"
"My name is Whitefire," Whitefire said. "I know your name already, Jaypaw. Denver told me."
"Jaypaw!"
Jaypaw heard his mentors voice calling through the trees. "I have to go," he whispered to Whitefire.
"Don't go," Whitefire begged. "Please. I don't have anyone. Deadclan hates me."
"Jaypaw!"
Sunflowers voice grew louder, and Jaypaw felt torn.
"Please," Whitefire pleaded.
"Meet me here tomorrow night," Jaypaw whispered quickly. "And don't bring Denver. Well, you probably don't have a choice so let me reword that. Try not to bring Denver."
"Thank you," Whitefire smiled for the first time. "Thank you so much..."
"I know how it feels to be the outcast," Jaypaw said as he turned to the trees. "Maybe we just need to be outcasts together," and with that, he fled through the trees in search for his mentor.