"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks.
When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be.
Each unveils the best part of the other.
No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise...
When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person.
Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life."

~Richard Bach~

You think I'm an ignorant savage
And you've been so many places I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see If the savage one is me
How can there be so much that you don't know?
You don't know ...

You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth C
ome roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they're worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high will the sycamore grow?
If you cut it down, then you'll never know
And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind
You can own the Earth and still
All you'll own is Earth until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind

~Colours of the Wind~
Pocahontas

I looked ridiculous.

I felt ridiculous.

And my upper lip was still burning.

I looked in the mirror of the bathroom, my slender fingers tracing the line of immaculate makeup and I sighed, cocking my head as I looked at the gown my mother had forced me to purchase.

I felt so ... revealed.

A large slit exposed my bare left leg, while the rest of the dress just flowed off of me in a way that made it seemed like the fabric was fluid. A one shouldered, black waterfall that accentuated my waist and showed minimal cleavage. The slight raise of my bosom was evident and I breathed out a rattled breath as I looked up to stop myself from criticising my body further and looking into the mirror.

My eyes were framed by dark eye shadow and my usually incredibly short lashes were made even longer by the mascara that nearly poked my eye out. Although I probably wouldn't have mind if my eye had been removed; at least then I would get an eye patch. I would officially be a pirate. Captain Anna.

If only that would come true.

The rest of my face showed nothing of a scar that rest just below my lower lip, or by the pimple I had tried to rid myself of this morning. My auburn hair framed my heart shaped face, yet was pinned back on the left side, exposing the side of my face and my ears. Loose strands of curls sat on my shoulder while the rest had been curled, and flowed softly down my back and to just above my waist - a brilliant achievement, if I say so myself.

Took me two years, but it was nearly at the waist.

I really have no life, do I?

I sighed as I looked at my appearance again.

I looked ... ridiculous.

I hated wearing makeup - it didn't suit me.

I didn't bother looking back in the mirror, worrying that if I stared in the mirror too long that I would eventually strip myself of the makeup and this god damned gown and go in jeans and flip-flops.

How I would love to just wear flip-flops for once.

Fuck heels!

Celebrities made them seem so easy - walking on the read carpet with heels high enough to take out a rather small dwarf. And yet they don't stumble once.

I hated celebrities.

With their money and incredibly good looks and their hair.

You really need to stop obsessing over people's hair.

It's weird.

You're weird.

I'm your conscience.

Shut up.

"Urgh, Anna, I know your doing lady things bu-but - I need to go to he toilet."

I snorted out my laughter at my Uncle Charlies inevitable awkwardness and I opened the door, motioning with my hand for him to go straight passed me. He waddled through, slamming the door behind him and I bit my lip to stop myself from smirking.

He must have waited an awfully long time.

Or he just had a really, really weak bladder.

"Hurry up, Chief, we need to be somewhere," I bellowed as I knocked on the door, munching on a piece of bread. "You're walking someone down the aisle today."

Charlie opened the door, narrowing his eyes. "In some cultures, listening to someone in the toilet is considered disrespectful."

I shrugged, grabbing my bag as I slipped into the dreaded black demonic heels that only Satan could have created.

Damn Satan.

"What culture is that?"

He gruffly answered as he made his way outside, grabbing his jacket. "All cultures."

I shrugged, following him out into the living room as I grabbed my leather jacket (yes, I know, how fitted for this black tied occasion) and I got into his car, my nose drifting with the smell of old leather and fish bait. I looked in the back of the car, narrowing my eyes. "You should really clean your car."

Charlie looked to me, raising an eyebrow questionably. "I have seen your car, Antoinette."

"Urgh, stop calling me that dreaded name! It's a name my mother gave to torture me! After twenty-two hours of birth, she hated my guts! That's why she named me that name!"

Charlie cocked an eyebrow at my madness, reversing. "I think it's pretty."

"Well so did the executioners that executed their French Queen," I mumbled, looking at the passing greenery and shrubs that just never seemed to end in Forks.

It was as if every piece of land that wasn't covered by mud or snow, was covered in green. A constant disarray, and don't get me wrong - I love green. It was just too ... green.

"So, what's his family like?" I asked, looking to Charlie.

Charlie shrugged. "Urgh, they're, uhm - slightly perfect."

I groaned. "Great. So, they're not rednecks?"

Charlie shook his head, mumbling something incoherent underneath his breath and he turned into a long drive, surrounded with fairy lights that hung from the trees. It was spectacular, and I had to look away for the fear I would become jealous. I could see them still out of the corner of my eye, the twinkling pseudo stars that seemed to encaged the road. "Wow."

Charlie nodded, before he let out a sigh. "Yup."

And then I saw it.

It was a large, graceful house; rectangular and well-proportioned. Painted a faded white colour, it seemed almost picturesque and like something from a Nicholas Sparks novel. Cue gag. The southern wall was almost entirely made of glass, with a view of the Calawah River, Charlie informed me. It was huge. Absolutely massive. I'm sure it could house a whole country.

Of course it would have to be a really small country.

Consisting of 20 people.

"They can really shit out money!"

Charlie raised his eyebrows, chuckling. "I guess they can."

Charlie's cruiser came to a stop and my heels made contact with the gravel ground. Oh, fuck. Gravel. My arch nemesis. And I was wearing heels. Damn heels!

Okay, try to act cool.

You don't want to embarrass yourself in front of the family.

Don't fall.

Don't fall.

Don't fall.

LOOK UP! LOOK UP! LOOK UP BEFORE YOU KILL YOURSELF!

Don't fall.

Just keep your eyes on the door - keep your eyes on the prize.

And then I stumbled.

Oh! Okay, okay - save what dignity you still have. Just pretend like you don't care. Pretend that you haven't even realised you stumbled, and that when you did realise you were just like 'Oh, I stumbled. I don't care, I'm perfect' and then sashay away!

I'm not sashaying away.

SASHAY GODDAMIT SASHAY!

"Are you okay?"

I nodded to Charlie; looking at the steps that led up to the porch and I bit my lip - my cheeks flushing in annoyance. Fuck. Me. In the Ass. Not really - I'm still, well, urgh ... a virgin. And never been kissed.

Oh, stop feeling sorry for yourself!

First step will be the hardest, you just need to get over that step and you're fine.

Okay.

Wait, are we talking about my virginity or the steps?

Sweetheart, I gave up on your virginity after you started playing scrabble for fun.

"Do you need hel-" I put my hand up, shaking my head as I lifted my gown, putting this satanic demon heels onto the first step.

Okay, you've down it. Now-

I yelped as I caught myself on something and I braced myself for the fall, only to have something grab my arm. Something cold. Compared to my nudists temperature, this was rather, well, it felt like they had just stuck their hand in a freezer for a dare. I looked up, my cheeks flushed as I saw a buff - incredibly good looking yet oddly pale man, holding my arm with a goofy smile plastered on his face. And then I noticed his arms.

Can I say steroids?

Or maybe muscle enhances, is the better word.

More like penis shorteners.

That's not even funny.

"Thank you," I murmured, flushing as I helped myself up the stairs, looking into this mans golden eyes.

Weird eye colour, right?

"Who are you?" I asked, rather bluntly as I eyed his muscles, bewildered. "And please, stop working out. It's gone ... too far."

I can't believe you just said that.

The man let out a bellowing laugh, his eyes twinkling with amusement, as he looked me over. "Nice to know my babies are being appreciated."

Don't say it.

Don't say it.

Antoinette Eleanor Swan, don't you dare fucking say-

"Appreciated? Made fun of - same thing?"

I'm never, ever going to anywhere with you again.

You're my conscience. You're stuck with me and my brain.

He bellowing laughed again before dragging me inside, looking to Charlie as he greeted the father of the bride. "I'm Emmett."

I eyed his hand. "I'm Antoinette."

He laughed again. "That is, urgh, a unique name. "

I groaned. "My parents hated me - make fun of it all you want."

A smile took form on Emmett's face and I looked around the enormous house, my mouth dropping open ever so slightly as I gaped at the extravagance of it all. These people really could shit out money.

"So, why are you here?" He asked me and I shrugged.

"To raid the buffet table and the alcohol supplies, I suppose."

He chuckled. "I meant, for who?"

"Bella. I'm her cousin," I said, hiding my smile and he smirked.

"Oh. Bell's never mentioned she was inviting her cousin,"

I smirked as I patted his oversized muscles. "She didn't mention she was inviting Arnold Schwarzenegger either, so I guess we are both out of the loop."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger? Really?" He asked, eyeing his muscles.

I shook my head, rolling me eyes. "It's not a good thing,"

Emmett shrugged, his eyes not leaving his muscles and I looked to Charlie - cocking my eyebrow. "Should we go meet the man who is condemning himself to a life filled of nagging and no sex?"

Charlie cringed at the mention of sex and he shook his head. "We'll meet Edward later. Let's go see Bell's."

I nodded, following him up the stairs to where I had my Aunt Renee's bubbly and rambunctious voice, indicating that she was already a weeping mess. Oh, fuck, this is going to be torture. I really should have just poked my eye out; I would have gotten the eye patch and out of this mess. Charlie cleared his throat, ruffling his brown curls. "Renee, Esme said it's time you got settled down there."

Who's Esme?

Is that who he was talking to?

Renee turned to face her ex husband, her face contorting in surprise. "Well, Charlie, don't you look dashing!"

Charlie turned to her, his voice showing hints of crustiness. "Alice got to me."

"And you look brilliant," I said, making my presence known and Renee looked to me - her eyes wide.

"Oh, Bella, you didn't tell me Antoinette was coming!" She squealed, enveloping me in a bone-crushing hug. "I haven't see you since you came to our house for the summer and set fire to the kitchen!"

Memories.

Why does it always seem that they consist of me burning some part of a kitchen?

Because you suck at cooking.

She looked to me, her smile tight as she looked over my slim figure. "You've ... changed."

"I used to be a whale, Aunt Renee, of course I've change."

She smiled, kissing my forehead. "You were a pretty whale, though."

No you weren't.

I love you too, conscience.

Bella smiled and I looked her over - the dress that she wore was a combination between silk and lace, in which suited Bella beyond belief. "You look gorgeous, Bells."

"You do too," She told me and I looked to the two other unimaginably beautiful women in the room.

My self esteem has just plummeted, crashed into the earth - been hit by a car and then set on fire. So, not showing my intimidation, I gave a nod and smiled like I was happy to be here. "Hi," I said, offering my hand in a slight wave.

The elf, whom I'm assuming is Alice, furrowed her eyebrows. "You're not supposed to- I didn't see you. Bella, who is this?"

I feel so welcome.

Bell flushed. "This is my cousin,"

"Nice to meet you too," I murmured and she shook her head in confusion etched onto her stupid, perfect features.

I hated her already.

She shook her head, fleeing the room as Bella flushed. "This is Rosalie, Anna, she's Edwards sister."

Oh, god, kill me now.

Beauty.

That was the epitome of beauty.

Stupid bitch.

She smiled tightly. Forced, and tightly. "Nice to meet you,"

I hate you, too.

"I'm Antoinette," I said, and she nodded.

Renee looked to Bella, hugging her before shock came over her face. "Is it really time already?" Renée said to herself, sounding almost as nervous as Bella looked. "This has all gone so fast. I feel dizzy."

"Give me a hug before I go down," Renée insisted. "Carefully now, don't tear anything."

Renee squeezed her gently around the waist, and then wheeled for the door, only to complete the spin and face her again. "Oh goodness, I almost forgot! Charlie, where's the box?"

Charlie rummaged in his pockets for a minute and then produced a small white box, which he handed to Renée. Renée lifted the lid and held it out to Bella, an anticipated smile breaking out on her lips. "Something blue," she said.

"Something old, too. They were your Grandma Swan's," Charlie added. "We had a jeweller replace the paste stones with sapphires."

Inside the box were two heavy silver hair combs. Dark blue sapphires were clustered into intricate floral shapes atop the teeth. I remembered that pin, the same very pin my Grandma Swan used to fuss about whenever she would catch me in her jewellery box - playing about. She used to reprimand me for even trying to open her jewellery box, and she used to kneel on the ground with the hair pin and narrow her eyes and say: "When you're old enough, you can buy one. For now, don't touch Grandma's stuff."

She was touchy about her jewellery.

Bella looked up at her parents, her wide eyes starting ghosting over with unshed tears. "Mom, Dad… you shouldn't have."

"Alice wouldn't let us do anything else," Renée said, smiling as she peered at the pin - staring at her daughter with pride. "Every time we tried, she all but ripped our throats out."

A hysterical giggle burst through Bella's lips.

Alice stepped up and quickly slid both combs into my hair under the edge of the thick braids. "That's something old and something blue," Alice mused, taking a few steps back to admire Bella.

"There," Alice said with satisfaction. "A little colour—that's all you needed. You are officially perfect." With a little self-congratulatory smile, she turned to my divorced and rather awkward Aunt and Uncle, while avoiding my prying gaze. "Renée, you need to get downstairs."

"Yes, ma'am," Renée blew a kiss to Bella before she hurried out the door.

I was about to follow when I felt someone's hand on my arm, and I looked back - raising my eyebrows as I saw Bella staring at me, her hands trembling lightly. "What is it, Bells?"

She smiled. "Would you distract everyone if I fall?"

I nodded, smiling. "The top will come off, I promise."

Charlie narrowed his eyes. "Shut it, young lady, no tops or … bottoms will be coming off at this wedding,"

Well, not for me.

Maybe Bella and Edmund might have a quickie.

Edward.

You're pissing me the fuck off, conscience.

I smirked. "Uncle Charles, when Bella falls down that aisle - I can't control what I will do."

The music floated through the house as I made my way down the stairs, and my heels dug onto the flat ground - my eyes looking up at the profusions of white blossoms that hung in the garlands. I looked over to the rows of satin-draped chairs, most that were occupied, before I looked at the variety of men that were standing at the alter - Arnold Schwarzenegger among them, punching the one with bronze hair playfully.

I could feel eyes on me, the thing I really did need to get used to.

Usually, I did have eyes on me - but for all the wrong reasons.

I guess they would feel the ground vibrate when I made my way through the room.

That's right, I used to be that fat.

I looked up from the ground, my eyes connecting with those of my nudist.

Oh, my God.

But this wasn't my nudist - no. It wasn't the chisel chested nudist-man-thing that lay on my motel bed but a middle-aged man confined to a life in a wheelchair. This was not the man that eyes I had gotten lost in; eyes that had so consumed me before. It was different.

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at the man - prying my eyes away from his to look at his appearance. He was heavyset, despite being in a wheelchair, with a deeply wrinkled face and dark russet skin with black eyes. Standing beside him was a huge, absolutely huge, boy. With a beaming smile on his face as he stood by a rather slender, beautiful women whom stared at the crowd with bewildered eyes. The boy, beaming with happiness, reminded me of him.

A younger nudist.

Of course with clothes on, though.

"Anna!"

I looked over to where my seat had been saved and I smiled, going to sit next to Renee and she smiled - introducing me to her husband, Phil. "It's nice to meet you."

"This is crazy?" Renee asked, wringing her hands together as she looked back at the house. "Isn't this crazy?"

I nodded, looking down at my nails. "Crazy."

Renee shook her head, wiggling in her seat. "Do you think we should go back up there, I mean, maybe she-"

Phil grabbed her rigid hands, placing them in his lap - enclosing her hands in his huge ones. "Sweetheart, calm down."

Could have said it better, Phil.

I looked at the man whom was chuckling lightly as a blonde haired model (surely they all had to be models) smiled, nodding along to him. "That's Edmund, then?"

Edward.

Okay, okay - I get it. I get it.

"It's Edward, Anna bobana."

I really wish people would stop calling me that.

I took a moment to look at the groom – my eyes moving to the arch that seemed to be overflowing with more flowers. Below the flowers that hung, I saw a groom whose happiness was literally radiating from his dapper suit, and bright smile. At the mention of a murmur of his name Renee had spoken seconds before, he turned slightly - his eyes glancing to me while he still laughed along with the rest of the models, smiling coyly as if he knew something I didn't.

Asshole.

And then his eyebrows furrowed, like his sister had minutes before.

Why were they all doing that?

And then I realised how beautiful he really was.

His facial features were as perfect and angular like something expected of a Greek Adonis, something in which was hard to find in a male anywhere - high cheekbones, a strong jaw line, a straight nose and full lips littered his face with perfection, making him seem irresistible. His hair, which seemed like it had never been washed nor ever had a brush through it, retained an unusual bronze shade, something in which I had never seen. With buttery, burning gold eyes - he was the illusive mystery of an enigma that most girls fawned over.

Yet he didn't compare to the Greek God that I had hit with my car mere days ago.

No one could compare to … that.

Wagner's traditional march floated through my ears and everyone turned, eager to see the bride whom would surely be blushing.

And then I saw her.

And as soon as he saw her, he broke into a breathtaking smile of exultation. She struggled against her fathers grip, squirming as he struggled to pace her steps to its rhythm. She seemed glad that the aisle seemed to be very short, and when she stood in front of him - she beamed up at him, as if he was her everything and she was his.

In a display of tradition, Charlie begrudgingly placed Bella's hand in that of Edwards. Their vows were the simple, traditional words that had been spoken a million times before, and seemed to litter every wedding with its presence.

Surprisingly, though, no clichés.

So far.

"I do," She managed to choke out in a nearly unintelligible whisper, blinking her eyes clear so she could see his face.

Or, the ministers.

But I think she wanted to see that of her new husbands.

When it was his turn to speak, the words rang clear and victorious.

"I do," he vowed, seemingly the proudest and happiest man in the room. He beamed at his new wife as the Minister declared them husband and wife, and with that - Edwards hand reached up to cradle her face - as if it was his mothers china vase he had to protect from his older brother.

He bent his head toward hers, and she stretched up on the tips of my toes, throwing her arms— bouquet and all—around his neck. He kissed her tenderly, adoringly; she obviously forgot the crowd, the place, the time, the reason because that was not exactly the type of kiss that was usually accepted at a wedding.

Mainly, because, people didn't want to see what it would lead up to.

A whole lot of dry humping.

Urgh.

The images were there and I couldn't get them out. The flashing images of Bella and her new husband on a bed, doing the dirty, and I couldn't rid myself of them. Oh, my god - it was getting R rated.

GET OUT!

GET OUT!

GET OUT!

I had to start reciting the alphabet in French to distract myself as they ended the fiery kiss. She clung to him, ignoring the titters and the throat clearing (mainly made by me) in the audience that was watching their rather public display of affection.

He treated her as if she was made of glass, not flesh and sturdy bones - although Bella wasn't exactly the most graceful person known to man. Yet the way he moved around her, like even the smallest flinch of a finger could break a bone - could injure his sweetheart, was strange. And not in the good way.

Can strange be good?

Sometimes.

And hey, I thought I told you to shut up!

The crowd erupted into applause, and he turned their bodies to face their friends and family. She didn't remove her eyes from his face, her beaming smile showing her plain serendipity, which seemed to just glow from her blemish less face.

Renee shot up, running to her daughter and embracing her in a tear-stained hold. Bella was then passed through the crowd, as if a doll as many of her closest friends and some family congratulated her - smiling and making her laugh, commenting on how beautiful the ceremony had been and how breath taking she looked.

I watched on as the two newlyweds were embraced by their closest family, being attacked by compliments and loving ramble. I bit my lip as I watched on, my eyes on the dark woods as I pursed my lips.

This was a weird wedding.

There better be alcohol.

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Edited 9/10/13