Summary: Belle returns home from her hen night a little bit worse for wear.
Madeira Cake
It was a Friday evening, and Gold had found himself in the unusual circumstance of being home alone. Emma had taken Belle out on a makeshift hen night with their other female friends consisting of dinner and drinks at the Slug and Lettuce, and Gold had been quite content to let her have a girly night out whilst he monopolised the sofa and spent however many hours watching CSI box sets in her absence.
Having fallen into a slightly-too-much-whiskey-induced slumber, Gold was woken by the sound of a car pulling up outside the house and doors slamming. He peered at the clock on the DVD player and found that it was one in the morning. This was obviously Belle coming back from her night out. He heard giggling and stumbling steps, and frowned. This was obviously Belle coming back from her night out a little worse for wear. Gold knew that Belle was a lightweight, and he knew that she was an extremely giggly drunk, but he was fairly sure she'd never actually fallen over on his watch before. He got up off the sofa and made his way to the front door. He was just about to open it when the faint sound of quiet, although definitely warbling, singing came up the driveway.
"Have some Madeira m'dear, you really have nothing to fear."
The voice then tailed off for a while and hummed, evidently having forgotten the words. Gold recognised the reedy tones as Belle's and opened the door, leaning in the frame to observe the unexpected tableau that was unfolding in his front garden. Belle was being gently steered up the path by Emma on one side and Marina on the other, Alice following a couple of paces behind obviously trying not to laugh. Ruby was absent entirely, but this was not at all unexpected; with a three month old baby at home, she had only been intending to stay for an hour or so before going back to relieve an undoubtedly fraught Archie from his babysitting duties.
"She sipped it, she drank it, she drained it she did, he slyly refilled it again. And he said as he secretly carved one more notch on the butt of his gold-handled cane…"
At this particular line of the song, Belle looked her husband-to-be up and down from head to toe and back again, taking in the cane in his right hand, and burst out in a fresh fit of giggles, bent double in the middle of the path, before wobbling up towards him. Gold merely raised an eyebrow.
"Evening, Mr Gold," Marina said as they reached the front door. "Special delivery!"
Gold looked over her shoulder to see Eric watching them from the driver's seat of the car, killing himself laughing.
Belle threw her arms around Gold's neck. Not only was she giggly when drunk, she was also rather touchy-feely, moreso than usual.
"Are you going to proposition me?" she asked, fluttering her eyelashes at him. "With your cane?"
"Not in the front doorway when I've got an audience, love. Maybe later."
"It was the cocktails," Emma said apologetically. "Belle and cocktails are a lethal combination and they were on special at the Slug and Lettuce. They were doing her favourite pina coladas, which they never normally do, so I think you went a little bit overboard, didn't you, lovely?"
Belle nodded with a self-deprecating little smile. "I think I'm a little bit tipsy."
"You're telling me," said Gold. "Come on, let's get you to bed."
"Are you coming too?" Belle asked, leaning up to kiss him and missing his mouth by an inch or so. Apparently she was also rather lascivious when drunk.
"Yes, I'm coming too."
Gold was fairly certain that he had never witnessed this side to her before. The night was still too young yet for him to have decided whether he wanted to see Belle under the influence of pina coladas again or not.
"Excellent." Belle stepped inside the front door, still not letting go of him.
"Thank you for bringing her back in one piece," Gold said to Marina, who gave an airy wave, and respectfully declined to comment on his little squeak as Belle's hands began wandering and he received an unexpected goosing.
"It was nothing. Eric was on his way back from Grimsby and saw her singing in the taxi rank so he thought he might as well give us a lift. Ruby left after dinner and Dawn decided to skedaddle at the first mention of pina coladas. Probably for the best. Ashley, Mary Margaret and Astrid send their regards; they waited for a taxi." Marina raised one eyebrow. "Good luck."
Gold looked down at Belle's flushed grin. He was probably going to need it.
After seeing the other women safely back into Eric's car, Gold shut the door and leaned on it, putting both arms around Belle.
"Now, my dear, I hate to say it, but I can't carry you up to bed."
Belle nodded good-naturedly.
"Can you remember where the bedroom is?" Gold continued. Belle gave him a look and batted his arm affectionately.
"Of course I do," she said, planting a clumsy kiss on his chin.
"Are you sure? Since you seem to be having some difficulties finding my mouth, I was wondering."
"If you shut up and stopped moving it around, I wouldn't have so much trouble, would I?"
Gold had to concede her point, and dutifully closed his mouth. Belle held his face firmly in both hands and give him a very determined and deliberate kiss on the lips. She snuggled in closer against him and he let her hands begin to roam again. When she had succeeded in getting her fingers under the waistband of both trousers and underwear, he decided that it was probably time for them to move.
"Darling, I know that the front door is one of the few places in the house that we haven't christened, but since you can barely stand up straight, I don't think that this is the most appropriate occasion for acrobatics. Come on. Bed."
With her skyscraping stilettos off, Belle was not quite as wobbly as she had been whilst coming up the garden path, and she skipped up the stairs in an almost perfect straight line, the slingbacks dangling from her fingers as she hummed the first few bars of Have Some Madeira under her breath. Gold rolled his eyes and followed her up to the bedroom at a slower pace. When he reached her, she was pirouetting haphazardly in the centre of the room.
"I never did ballet when I was little," she explained, as she staggered to a stop and Gold threw out an arm to catch her balance.
"Well, it's never too late to try new things," Gold said, "but half past one in the morning might not be the best time to practise. Especially considering the pina coladas."
Belle flopped down onto the end of the bed.
"I suppose you're right."
"Thank you."
Belle drew her legs up and sat cross-legged on duvet, watching Gold intently as he moved around between the bedroom and the bathroom, undressing and brushing his teeth. He'd almost got into bed when she put a hand up to his chest to stop him, and she traced a fingertip up the long white scar over his knee.
"Belle…" Whilst Gold had never had a problem being naked with his scars on show in front of Belle, her brow was furrowed, and the intensity in her eyes was everso slightly unnerving. She made no reply save to bend forward and press her lips to the sharp line.
"There. All better."
Gold laughed and got into bed. "You're ridiculous."
"I'm drunk," Belle pointed out, before scrambling off the bed and going into the bathroom herself. Gold settled down under the covers, listening to her continued humming as he took his evening pills. Belle returned to the bed just as he finished screwing the caps back on the bottles.
"I just think it's sad," she said, the last word turning into a yawn. "That you're always in pain. I wish I could kiss it all better."
Gold smiled and pushed her hair out of her eyes.
"Go to sleep, my beauty."
Belle opened her mouth to say something else, but whatever it was, it was lost in the yawn that escaped her.
"Yes," she said eventually, snuggling down beside Gold. "Sleep is probably good."
X
The next morning, Gold was woken by an emphatic groan from somewhere in the region of his right ear. He opened one eye and looked sideways at Belle, who was squinting against the summer sunshine forcing its way through the closed curtains. She pressed a hand against her forehead and groaned again.
Gold extricated himself from the tangle of limbs that they had fallen into during the night, and got her a glass of alka seltzer without a word. Belle looked at him blearily as he held it out to her and manoeuvred herself into a vague semblance of a sitting position before downing half of the effervescing liquid in one go.
"Better?" he asked mildly. Belle just glared at him.
"You know, your 'incredibly smug' look would be a lot more effective if you had some clothes on," she grumbled. "All right, all right, so I had one too many pina coladas."
Gold got back into bed beside her. "How much of last night do you remember?"
"I remember a lot of pina coladas. And dancing with Marina in the taxi rank. And I remember some things that I am sincerely hoping were a dream. Most of them happened after I got home, actually." She paused. "Was I singing outside?"
"Yes."
"Was I singing Have Some Madeira?"
"Yes."
"Did I grope you on the doorstep?"
"Yes."
Belle gave a muted groan and felt around behind her for a pillow, which she subsequently pressed over her face. "Never again," came her muffled voice through the feathers. "I am swearing off pina coladas for life."
Unseen by Belle, Gold just smiled, remembering not the tipsy escapades but the tenderness with which she had kissed his broken knee. In three weeks to the day, this beautiful, if a little hungover, woman would be his wife, and drunk or not, she was perfect.