Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or their characters.
He wanted to rip his head into two. He was hot. Blinded by pain. Wishing for death so he could escape the mental hell his head had set forth for him. He wondered what was going on with him. Why did these headaches start? He didn't want to think that it was finally happening. He couldn't be a schizophrenic.
Reid sighed as he looked at the clock. It was getting close to the time for him to leave for Rossi's. A part of him wanted to just not show up. If he hadn't said yes to Garcia, he wouldn't show up. He groaned as he sat up tiredly. He really wanted to pick up the phone and tell them he wasn't feeling good. Then again, could he drive in this condition? He still had to drive a couple hours out later on tonight. He sighed. The team would just have to be fine without him.
Morgan waited anxiously for Reid to show up. He had to explain everything. He couldn't fathom Reid hating him for being a child bent on jealousy.
"Why is Morgan so anxious?" Rossi questioned looking at Prentiss.
"He and Reid sort of had a fight. Reid was pretty pissed and it seemed like it was the last straw for Reid," Prentiss answered trying not to snap.
"It seems to have an effect on you," Hotch said walking towards them. Prentiss rose an eyebrow.
"Morgan was being a real Jerk to Reid this time around. You should have been there. I think Morgan just ruined Reid's day," Prentiss said shaking her head.
"Well, I'm sure he isn't too proud of himself at the moment," Rossi said watching the man pace in the living room.
"I wouldn't be if I were him," Prentiss grumbled.
"What happened?" Hotch questioned knowing that rifts between teammates need to be solved sooner rather than later.
"I'm not sure what was up with Morgan, but Reid gave Morgan a coffee, Morgan declined and barely looked at him. Then, I saw Morgan looking pretty upset so I asked him if he was okay and he told me he was, then he went on this rant about Reid, and Reid showed up and basically heard it all. Reid was pretty hurt. Then Reid got pissed, hence he left an hour later," Prentiss explained not caring that she put the entire scenario out for the whole team to know.
"Do you think Morgan can fix this?" Hotch asked.
"The question is, do you think Reid can just forgive him," Prentiss said looking directly at Hotch.
"Reid probably won't forgive him easily, but If Morgan has a good reason to be snappy, it's possible," Rossi admitted as Garcia came into the kitchen.
"Reid's not coming," Garcia sighed.
"Why? Is it because of Morgan?" Prentiss asked as JJ joined them.
"No he admitted that he wasn't feeling good. He didn't sound too good either," Garcia admitted. JJ nodded in agreement.
"JJ?" Hotch questioned.
"Yeah, Spence barely ate today. When I asked him if he was okay, he did admit that he had a headache. Maybe Spence is coming down with something," JJ said sadly.
"On our Christmas vacation to boot," Prentiss frowned.
"I guess Morgan can relax. He won't be seeing Reid for ten days," Prentiss said raising an eyebrow and walking off.
Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. It was like the team was falling apart before his eyes and the reasoning wasn't exactly there.
"Morgan, dinner's ready," JJ called out. She was trying not to shut him out like Prentiss, but she wasn't too happy with his actions either.
"What about Reid, we can't eat without him," Morgan questioned.
"Reid's not joining us. He isn't feeling too good right now. He sounded horrible over the phone," Garcia explained.
"Did he need anything?" Morgan asked concerned.
"He didn't say that he did," Garcia answered.
"Look guys. Have a nice Christmas. I'll see you all when you get back. I'm going to check up on him before he leaves," Morgan stated before walking out of the house leaving the team slightly surprised.
Morgan hopped into his car and nearly sped the entire way to Reid's apartment. As soon as he got there he quickly ran up the stairs and started banging on Reid's door.
He heard a slight curse and a second later the door swung open to reveal a very pale Reid.
"What?" Reid said rubbing his eyes.
"Were you sleeping?" Morgan asked.
"I was trying to," Reid admitted before taking a step back and allowing Morgan into his apartment. Reid was still angry with Morgan, but at this state, Reid didn't care. He could just kick Morgan out. He knew that if he didn't listen to Morgan, then Morgan would just yell. Reid couldn't have that.
"Oh sorry," Morgan said quietly.
"Whatever, why are you here?" Reid asked slightly annoyed as he shut off all the lights. Morgan faltered slightly as Reid sat and laid his head down on the counter.
"I wanted to apologize for earlier. Reid I didn't mean that. Any of it. I was just mad," Morgan explained vaguely.
"Mad at what? Me?" Reid questioned.
"I was mad at myself and I was trying to justify my anger towards you. Look, my day sucked. I found out I couldn't go home to see my family, I was slightly jealous that you haven't told me that you were seeing someone… I don't know. Maybe a part of me expected you to tell me, your best friend, what's going on in your life. Hell, you know my darkest secrets yet I feel as if I don't know much about you," Morgan explained.
Reid lifted his head and turn the lights up until there was a soft dim. He looked at Morgan calmly.
"Morgan, what you said to Prentiss—."
"Was me trying to vent out some of that anger. That was also when I found out I couldn't go home. In all, what I said was pretty damn hurtful. I understand. Kid, you are my best friend and I can't lose you," Morgan admitted.
Morgan watched as Reid bit his lip nervously.
"Do you really mean that?" Reid asked. "Or are you just saying that so Hotch won't fire one of us."
"I'd rather be fired Reid," Morgan admitted.
Reid nodded slowly.
"Would you care to stay with me for Christmas? I'd rather not have you all alone," Reid offered quietly.
"Reid you're having people over. I don't want to intrude," Morgan admitted.
"Morgan, I'm not having people come over every day. I need some alone time every now and then. Plus I want her to be with her family as well," Reid shrugged. "But as your friend I insist. I know what it's like to be alone for Christmas. I won't let you be alone."
"Fine kid," Morgan smiled.
"Good, so I hope you have a bag packed for this small adventure," Reid smiled despite the pain.
"I actually do. I was sort of ready to get on that plane to Chicago," Morgan said sheepishly.
Reid chuckled slightly.
"Okay, well, I'm going to take a nap because tonight's going to be pretty long. Please make yourself at home," Reid said before trailing off to the back. Morgan couldn't help but watch Reid as he walked away. Reid was always so understanding and still slightly oblivious. Morgan was glad that Reid didn't pick up on his lack of details on why he was mad at him. Morgan wasn't ready to admit his feelings for Reid just yet. After all, Reid just confirmed that one of his friends is a she. And he made it obvious that he cared about her.
However, Morgan would get to meet this girl. He can decide whether or not the girl is a keeper. He knows Reid inside and out. Morgan would be there. Morgan smiled slightly. This is slightly better than going home. He could actually spend time with Reid. Maybe he could tell Reid sometime over the break.
Morgan decided to walk into the living room. He didn't want to turn on the TV in fear of waking up Reid, so he grabbed a book and started looking at the words since he knew he wouldn't comprehend much of what its saying.
Reid woke up an hour and a half later. His headache dissipated and he figured it would be a good time to get on the road considering that the headache might come back. The last thing he needs is for Morgan to find out. Reid got out of the bed and stared straight ahead. For a second he was in a trance. Then he took a deep breath and got up. Some days he hated moving. He would have preferred to lay down for the next ten days and relax.
Reid stumbled through the hallway to find Morgan staring intensely at one of his books. Reid could read the emotions rolling off of Morgan. The most present was confusion and frustration.
"What the hell is this dude talking about?" Morgan grumbled. Reid found it slightly amusing and couldn't help the slight chuckle that came out.
"He's explaining some of the basic concepts to nuclear medicine," Reid said not bothering to go into detail.
"Really? I thought this was more about nuclear science and stuff—Nevermind, it's pretty obvious that I don't know what's going on. This stuff interests you?" Morgan rambled slightly.
"Well, yeah," Reid shrugged. "There's more to life than serial killers and psychology," Reid admitted sitting next to the older man.
"Reid why do I have the feeling that those words mean so much more than you're letting on," Morgan stated looking into Reid's eyes.
"Because they do," Reid said softly before grabbing his keys. "Are you ready to go?" Reid questioned, doing a complete about face on their conversation.
"Uh, yeah," Morgan said slightly confused. He was slightly wary about Reid. One second he was calm, the next excited. Then again it's Reid and he just woke up. He also remembered Garcia saying something about Reid not feeling too good.
He quickly followed Reid to the car and threw his bag in the trunk. He didn't know Reid had a new car. It was another surprise.
"Reid, when did you get this car?" Morgan questioned.
"Um about two years ago. I realized my old car wasn't fit for the snow," Reid shrugged.
"You never said anything," Morgan said in disbelief.
"Well I'm not one for bragging or showing off, so why would I tell anyone. I only drive it when I can't get to the bus," Reid admitted.
Morgan nodded in thought. Reid only uses his car for things like vacations. Why else would he need it. The bus will take you anywhere and it's cost effective.
Morgan watched as Reid started the car and silently prayed that they'd make it to the cabin. Morgan still wasn't comfortable with Reid driving.
Morgan paused. He's never known the location of this cabin. Reid never told the team. That was the one thing Reid had picked up from Gideon. Morgan felt the slight hope rise in his chest. Reid trusted him enough to bring him here. Maybe these were Reid's way of divulging his secrets. Reid was never a man of sentimental conversations. He simply explains himself in actions.
"Why are you thinking so hard?" Reid questioned with a slight smirk. Morgan looked at him surprise.
"What?" Morgan questioned in disbelief.
"You're thinking about something very intensely. Why? It's our vacation. No need to think unless you are trying to solve Einstein's unsolved equation," Reid rambled slightly.
"Why aren't you doing that?" Morgan snapped playfully.
"I don't find it intriguing. Einstein's a smart guy, but is there really a solution? I could make an equation that has an answer of does not exist and no one would know. I don't trust him to not screw with us. So, I'll let someone else solve it and if there's truly an answer, then I'll take a crack at it," Reid admitted. Morgan frowned. Only Reid would doubt Einstein and make it seem reasonable.
"If you weren't working at the BAU, where would you be right now?" Morgan asked.
"What is this twenty questions?" Reid asked slightly amused.
"What? I'm trying to get to know the person I'm hanging out with for the next ten days," Morgan shrugged.
"Morgan, we've been working together for almost ten years," Reid reminded. He wasn't sure what Morgan was talking about. Maybe he wasn't losing his mind. Maybe it's the people around him.
"I know you to a certain degree Reid. So back to my question. If you weren't working at the BAU, where would you be right now?" Morgan repeated.
Reid sighed and shrugged.
"I'd probably be doing research at some laboratory. Maybe I'd be a professor. If I wanted to I could have been studying neuroscience to find a better solution to metal illness. You see Morgan, when you have the power to do whatever you want because of your mind, you don't know what you want to do. I wouldn't be anything," Reid admitted. It was pretty true. He didn't exactly know what he wanted to do. Hence the PhD in Math, he could become a professor. With a PhD in Engineering, he could become any type of engineer he wanted. PhD in Chemistry the possibilities were endless. He was over qualified to take control of his life.
"So basically you had no idea of what you wanted to do until Gideon found you," Morgan finalized. Reid nodded.
"Yup, just like a good amount of the college students at the university. None of us really knew what to doonce we graduated. I just had the luxury of signing up for another major to keep from leaving," Reid shrugged.
"How much money did you spend doing all of that?" Morgan asked bewildered.
"Not a dime," Reid admitted.
"You are lucky. Do you know how long it takes to pay of tuition?" Morgan said shking his head.
"Is that a rhetoric question?" Reid asked knowing that Morgan didn't want him to answer that.
"Yes," Morgan smiled. He still felt bad for how he treated the young man earlier. It also seems that his plan for getting over Reid wasn't working. 'Maybe if I see him happy with someone else, then I might just get over it. I don't want to ruin the kid's happiness,' Morgan thought much to his own despair.
He watched as the snow began to fall. He always loved the snow. It is what makes winter special. He glanced at Reid who seemed to grimace at the sight of snow.
"Do you want me to drive?" Morgan offered. He really didn't want Reid to be uncomfortable and he'd prefer to actually survive on the way to the cabin.
"Have some faith in me Morgan. I can drive," Reid said warily.
"Have some confidence in this situation, then I might show some faith. What about your girl? Should we pick her up?" Morgan asked slightly confused as to why Reid wouldn't pick her up.
"Nope, a mutual friend is bringing her in since he wanted to join and she was along his route plan," Reid explained. Morgan nodded in thought. So one of Reid's friend's is a 'he.'
"So I guess it's just you and me tonight" Morgan smiled and Reid nodded slowly.
"Yup. Just you and I," Reid agreed.