The Fear
Fear: (noun)
An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.
He immediately scurried to his office and slammed the door, collapsing against the hard wood for support. He tugged anxiously on his tie as he tried to regain control of his erratic breathing.
She was there. She was just the other side of his door!
He felt an awful wretched, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, like his organs were twisting together in a crippling knot. Was she still the same Serenity from two years ago? He contemplated opening the door for a quick peek but immediately squashed that thought back down. She had certainly looked that same, except her hair was a little bit longer and her clothes were more mature, but two years was a long time.
He tore himself away from the door and sat down at his desk where he nervously thrummed his hands across the dark wood as he impatiently waited for his computer to warm up.
She was his secretary. She would be just the other side of that door every single day.
He buried his head in his hands. He was going to be a prisoner in his own office, trapped inside hiding away from that demon intent on haunting him with her existence.
Why had she come here! Could he fire her? That would solve everything.
His emails popped up and he started scanning their contents. Maybe it would be different this time, maybe he would not feel the same damn confusing feelings he experienced two years ago. He was stronger now; he would not succumb to that same weakness again. Yes, this was his opportunity to rectify his blip from before and prove that she was nothing to him. He would prove that Kaiba's really are above all that feeling nonsense.
He spent the rest of the day purposefully focused on his work, deliberately dispelling all thoughts about the harpy on the other side of his door and the uneasiness she evoked in him. It was only when he had eventually finished for the day and was about to open his office door to leave that his carefully controlled façade slipped. His fingers lingered on the door handle, as he mentally prepared himself for his first trial.
With a deep breath, he forced open the door and stormed straight passed her desk towards the elevator, refusing to even look at her or acknowledge her presence. He was strong, he would not allow her to weaken him again and as he successfully reached the lift, he released the breath he had been holding at the relief that his strategy had worked.
"Goodnight, Mr. Kaiba," she merrily called from her desk as the elevator door opened.
With a firm resolve, he silently congratulated himself on successfully ignoring her and stepped in. But as the lift door closed, the sound of her sweet voice trilled in his ears, those three words caressing him in the darkness of the elevator and like a heavy weight landing on his head, he knew there was no denying it. His disease was back with a vengeance.
He was totally screwed.
…
Seto dealt with his confusing emotions by refusing to acknowledge the source of his feelings - her.
Work became torture. His office offered little sanctuary throughout the days, knowing the object of his torture was sitting a few feet away with only a door separating them. Every once in a while she would truly test his reserve and would calmly walk into his office and place a fresh mug of coffee on his desk.
He was pathetic. He was the owner of a multi-billion pound corporation, and he was afraid of an innocuous girl. He considered firing her, but that would mean talking to her and that was completely out of the question. He considered moving her to a different part of the company but every time he entertained the thought, the awful twisted feeling in his stomach returned with a vengeance, reminding him of his pitiful sickness.
Every evening, he would walk as swiftly as possible through the treacherous path from his office door to the elevator, keeping his gaze focused on his escape as he passed her desk and just as the lift door was about to close and he thought he was safely away, the source of his torture would sweetly say 'Goodnight Mr. Kaiba' and he instantly became a jumble of conflicting emotions all over again. He truly resented those three words, he now resented work, but he especially resented her.
It was another one for those days. Seto was feeling particularly irritable as he laboured on his response to the Unions over his intended corporate restructure when his door had quietly creaked open and she swept into his office. She smiled at him and quietly walked over to the cabinet where the high profile client files were kept. He ignored her and kept his eyes resolutely fixed on his computer screen.
He tried to pretend he hadn't noticed she was there but he couldn't concentrate; his body knew, aching to look in her direction. He couldn't resist, his eyes quickly flickered towards her. She had bent down low to return the folder to its correct place in the lower drawer, her bottom wiggling as she tried to force the folder back in. Did she not know the torture she was putting him through?
He sucked in a savage breath as his mind became clouded with dark thoughts. He wanted to pin her against the cabinet and kiss that beautiful mouth of hers. He wanted to feel the curve of her body pushed against his, tangle his hands in her hair as his mouth pressed eagerly against hers. He wanted to hear her moan as his lips trailed across her jaw to the tender spot on her neck and she…
His finger accidentally hit the wrong key on his keyboard and he swore loudly.
His voice had apparently startled her and she spun around to look at him.
"Are you ok Mr. Kaiba?" she asked. She sounded genuinely concerned.
Seto could feel his cheeks getting hot at the forbidden thoughts which had assaulted his mind a moment before and he had to force himself to shake them away.
"I am fine, Miss. Wheeler." He silently scolded himself for his moment of weakness and quickly regained his compose. She was still looking at him questionably so he started to type again, hoping she would just go away.
"Very well Mr. Kaiba. I will be at my desk if you need anything."
"Hngh."
With a small bow she quietly left the room, carefully closing the door so she didn't disturb his concentration. He hadn't actually been concentrating on anything, he had just been typing nonsense.
Once the door was fully closed he slumped forward in his chair, smothering his face in his hands. How could one girl turn his life into such a mess? He couldn't continue this way, that much was obvious. He couldn't keep hiding from her and repressing the perplexing feelings she evoked in him. He had never been physical with anyone before, but she evoked such primal urges in him which he didn't understand. It seemed the more he tried to ignore her, the stronger her presence was in his consciousness.
A new approach was needed and he knew what he had to do. With a firm resolve, he mentally prepared himself for what he was about to admit.
I like her. There. He had finally acknowledged it. The sky had not caved in, his company had not suddenly exploded and his limbs still remained intact. That wasn't so hard, was it?
Maybe now he had finally acknowledged his feelings, he could start the process of releasing the inner tension that supressing his feelings had caused, and focus on curing himself of his unhealthy fascination instead. These feelings were novel, of course he would be curious, and perhaps by trying to understand his feelings, rather than fight them, he could demystify the illusion she had created in his mind and his feelings would naturally begin to subside. Then he could finally focus on his work…
But that meant confronting his problem. He pushed down the button for his intercom. It was time to bite the bullet.
"Miss. Wheeler, the Denver contracts need faxing to Procurement."
"Right away, Mr. Kaiba."
It was an instant relief. Hearing her sweet voice, he felt some of his tension ebb away and concluded his hypothesis was correct. Perhaps talking to her would not be so traumatic after all. Feeling pleased with the progress he had started to make in rectifying his little problem, he turned his attention back to his document and continued typing, his mood feeling considerably lighter than before.
He became heavily engrossed in his work all afternoon. He successfully completed his response to the Unions and drafted the Corporate Continuity Plan for the next quarter. He was so absorbed in his work throughout the afternoon that he almost forgot he was supposed to attend Mokuba's parents evening. He still had time to make it so he hastily packed away his laptop and left the office, braving the well-trodden path between his office and the elevator.
He confidently passed her desk this time and pushed the button to call the elevator to his floor. As usual, just as the doors opened, he heard her melodious voice from across the foyer.
"Goodnight, Mr. Kaiba."
He entered the lift and turned around.
"Goodnight, Miss Wheeler."
He looked up just in time to see the stunned expression on her face before the elevator doors closed in front of him.
Dear Readers,
Wow! Thank you for all for your reviews and because of your kind words, 'My Fair Serenity' is now officially multi-chapter! I am having a blast writing this but I hope this chapter does not disappoint.
I don't consider 'My Fair Serenity' as a 'story' in the traditional sense.I have approached it as more of a Seto-centric monologue as he explores his feelings for Serenity and battles with himself to reach a place where he may eventually be able to engage in something meaningful with Serenity. I don't intend for this to be a cliché ridden story full of the usual 'plots' (although I have a few ideas rumbling for future fics :D) so this may not be everyone's cup of tea (and I'm British so I blimin love tea!).
Please read and review!
Peace and Love,
Mimzical
x
Special notes:
Kingdom's Oathkeeper: Dude, your review is fucking awesome!
xxuhohitszoexx : Kaiba definitely needs some love in his life (we just need Kaiba to realise it too!)
LadyRitsu: A beautifully written review! A feisty Serenity can be interesting to read if it is well-written, but I completely agree. Serenity is shy, kind (and probably a bit naïve )and whilst she will speak up for a cause she truly believes in, she is definitely not confrontational by nature. The last thing anyone wants is a boring character so I wonder if some writers default to a 'hot-headed' Serenity because it's an instant way to inject personality into a character rather than gradually building up her more subtle qualities.
XOXOserenityXOXO:Thank you (again) for your review, I hope you found someone to write your story idea!
ViscountessKiera: I consider Seto's primary motivators to be power and control and in this scenario, I thought it would be interesting for Seto to perceive that Serenity was the one who had power and control over him (even though her kind, considerate nature suggests she is rather powerless). I think that would lead to a lot of conflicting emotions.