Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or their characters.
"Reid?" Morgan said slowly.
"Wait what?" Reid said moving away to look at the man.
"I um said that I have feelings for you," Morgan said instantly regretting it. He should have lied this time around.
"You mean as a friend right?" Reid said asking for clarification.
"No I mean more than that—Reid I know you're not that oblivious. You know what I'm saying," Morgan said dryly.
"Yeah I do, but I was hoping that this was one of those moments where my social IQ would fail me. Morgan why didn't you say anything!" Reid said jumping out of the bed, taking Morgan by surprise at the 180 Reid did on the conversation.
"You're mad?" Morgan asked slightly unsure how Reid was taking this.
"Mad? Morgan I'm—I'm… I'm confused! Is this why you've been a really good friend? How long has this been going on?" Reid questioned unsure how he feels about the situation.
"Kid, no. I've always been your friend. Maybe with some aspirations, but I wasn't trying to make you like me," Morgan explained. "I mean, I was your friend first. This just came a little bit after that. Like when you finally relaxed around us," Morgan shrugged.
"That was years ago," Reid said monotonously.
"Exactly, I was just waiting for the right time," Morgan said.
"Right time? Morgan you just allowed me to—to hurt you all these years? You should have said something earlier," Reid said in frustration.
"Why? So if you needed some advice you would know not to go to me because it would hurt me? Kid, that would be worse than you coming to me," Morgan explained trying not to get frustrated as well.
"I don't know how I feel about this," Reid admitted.
"What? You mean you can't be my friend because I like you?" Morgan said slightly insulted.
"No Morgan, I don't know how I feel about this situation! Morgan it was pretty obvious that you couldn't handle me being with someone else. I don't know if you were expecting me to run to you because you're my best friend so everything could work out. I also don't know if I should be happy, sad, or even mad at this situation," Reid explained with a shiver.
Morgan got up and placed a small blanket around the boy's shoulders.
"Thanks," Reid mumbled.
"Look Kid, maybe I didn't handle the situation that well. I was going to accept defeat a long time ago, but I always had hope. I couldn't give that up. So I had to try. Plus, it didn't help with Garcia and Prentiss encouraging me," Morgan grumbled.
"Prentiss and Garcia knew?" Reid questioned. "Nevermind, I can see how that happened," Reid admitted.
"Good," Morgan sighed as he watched Reid wrap the blanket tighter around him. "Reid, you're still cold and I think it would be wise for you to get into the bed," Morgan said calmly.
"I'm not done with you yet," Reid pouted which made Morgan want to laugh.
"You don't have to be, Reid. Just try to stay warm before you get sick," Morgan prodded.
Reid reluctantly got back into bed, but Morgan knew Reid was not satisfied and still very confused.
"Is there anything else you want to know?" Morgan asked after waiting in silence. Reid simply shook his head.
"No, there's nothing I can actually ask that I don't know the answer to," Reid admitted.
"Well, now that you know the truth I might as well ask you right now," Morgan said watching Reid's expression carefully. He watched as Reid's eyes widened in disbelief.
"Would you go out with me?" Morgan asked and watched as Reid looked at him as if he was insane. "What?" Morgan asked feeling like he did something dumb.
"Derek, are you serious right now?" Reid questioned. When Morgan just stared at him Reid frowned. "I'm sort of in a relationship. I don't exactly want to be in two relationships at the same time," Reid explained.
"I was sort of hoping you'd just leave her," Morgan admitted sheepishly. Reid just pinched the bridge of his nose and flopped back.
"Don't make this harder than it already is Derek," Reid grumbled.
"All you have to do is say bye to her and stay with me," Morgan shrugged.
"What if I don't want to leave her?" Reid asked finally sitting back up.
"That would suck for me," Morgan said feeling his hopes get crushed one by one. Maybe he should've asked at a more opportune time.
Reid rose an eyebrow.
"Would you even date a guy?" Morgan questioned trying to find some way to distract Reid from rejecting his offer.
"No…Yes…Maybe? I don't know," Reid answered.
"You should figure it out because it's obvious that I'm not the only guy who is interested in you," Morgan pointed out.
"I've noticed, but I'm in a relationship. There's nothing to figure out," Reid said feeling horrible with himself.
"Are you sure that's what you want?" Morgan questioned. Reid had to see that Heather wasn't a good match for him. Morgan watched as Reid's face turned back to confusion.
"I don't think that girl is worth your time. She's boring, too simplistic. No personality whatsoever. She doesn't have her life planned out. She wants to apply for a job that she could've signed up for at age 20! You care for her, so you're going to leave a job you love to help her live out her dream. It's almost a repeat of JJ and Will, except you're the one who will quit life to take care of the house and she'll be out doing whatever. Is that what you want?" Morgan ranted.
"Wait a minute Derek. First of all you didn't bother to get to know her, secondly, not everyone figures out what they want to do; which we have discussed when you asked me what I would be doing if I wasn't at the BAU. Lastly, maybe I don't want to be at the BAU Morgan. You're a profiler figure it out I've practically spelled it out for you these past two days!" Reid said finally getting upset.
Now it was Morgan's turn to watch Spencer in silence.
"I can't handle this," Reid mumbled as he got up and left the room.
Morgan stood in the same spot for a moment. Was this the last straw? Did he actually push Reid away? Morgan knew that asking Reid out would either end good or badly. However, a part of him thought Reid would feel the same way. Then again, there was a lot that the kid could be going through. Why is he questioning whether or not he wants to stay with the bureau? What happened?
Morgan took a deep breath. He knew he had to think of his next move. He knew Reid was somewhat fragile, but "how much" is the key.
There was a knock on the door.
"Yeah," Morgan said so whoever it was can come in.
"Uh, hey," Ethan came peeping through the doorway.
"Hi?" Morgan asked unsure what Ethan wanted.
"Hey, so why did Spencer wake me up and throw me out of the bed and the room? It's four in the morning." Ethan complained.
"Sorry we had a bit of a disagreement," Morgan sighed and felt bad that Ethan got woken up.
"A disagreement? It had to be more than that if he is that upset," Ethan stated raising an eyebrow.
"Oh right. Um, yeah I told him and he didn't take it so well," Morgan said quietly.
Ethan nodded in thought. That made sense.
"Why did you tell him this at four in the morning?" Ethan asked in confusion.
"He woke up and told me to tell him why I left. So I told him and at first he was taking it well, but I kind of insulted him and he did a whole 180 on how he took my revelation," Morgan explained. Ethan nodded.
"Dang, I wish I knew how to help you, but… I don't know. Your best bet is to get some sleep while you can," Ethan stated.
"Right, where's Heather?" Morgan asked.
"She was sleeping on the couch because you took her spot, and I don't want to share my bed with her. She might try to kill me in my sleep and Spencer is like a recipe for disaster. I take no chances," Ethan stated before walking out of the room. "Merry Christmas!"
Morgan stared at the door questioningly. Ethan was an odd character.
Despite it all, he wasn't sure what he should do at this point. If he were Reid, he wouldn't want to see him. However, as Morgan, he would keep trying to talk to the kid.
'Reid needs some time to think things through. If I talk to him, I'm sure he might think that I'm just trying to convince him to do things my way. After all, we all know that Reid is easy to manipulate,' Morgan figured. Morgan walked out of the room and headed to his own room. He would leave.
A few hours later Reid finally came out of Ethan's room. He felt childish for running away from Morgan, but he is not good with the whole crush thing and choosing between Heather or Morgan. In fact, Reid never had to choose between two people. Although he chose Heather, when Morgan told him to think about it, he did.
Reid still felt cold and realized that it would be that way for a few more hours. He knew Morgan would most likely be in his own room so Reid headed there first. When he opened the door, his heart sank. Morgan was gone. He had pushed Morgan away.
Why did he do such a stupid thing? He's a genius and he has a degree in psychology! He should have been able to handle the situation delicately.
'Maybe I didn't understand what was taught,' Reid thought much to his own dismay.
"Spencer, you're still alive?" Reid heard Ethan's voice. Ethan popped into the room and frowned.
"He left?" Ethan questioned even though he could clearly see that Morgan was gone.
"Yeah," Reid said quietly.
"So what now?" Ethan questioned.
"I think it's time to get another PhD," Reid pouted as he walked out of the room.
"You have too many, Dr. Reid," Ethan stated half-heatedly.
"I need another," Reid said glancing at Heather who was still asleep on the couch.
"For what?" Ethan asked already knowing the answer.
"Quit asking questions when you already know the answer," Reid grumbled. He didn't feel like making breakfast, but it was Christmas.
"Hey how about you go sit by the fire and I will make pancakes," Ethan offered.
"I'd prefer a drink," Reid said going into the fridge and grabbing one.
"Don't get drunk now," Ethan warned slightly concerned.
"Are you going to stop me?" Reid challenged before walking out the kitchen.
"Someone's a little grumpy this morning," Ethan said to himself as he started grabbing the ingredients.
Reid sat in one of the comforter chairs and curled up as best he could in hopes to stay warm. A part of him wants to go after Morgan, but the other part is telling him that Morgan was officially done with him. Did he overreact? Could he have just pretended to be okay with everything? Should he have just taken Morgan's offer so there wouldn't be any confrontation when the team had another case? It was almost like his future was dependent upon this decision.
He jumped from his thoughts when Heather decided to place a blanket on him.
"You seem cold and unhappy. Does it have something to do with that guy?" She questioned.
"Maybe," Reid said quietly.
"Do you mind sharing?" She prodded gently. Reid shook his head. He couldn't talk about Morgan to her. Maybe if it was something positive, but she didn't need to know anything that she could possible use to hurt him.
"I'm sorry. It's not my secret to tell," Reid lied softly. He felt bad that he was now lying to her. He always did his best not to lie to her, but now it seemed pointless. At this moment, everything seemed pointless.
"Alright," She said with a small smile. "Merry Christmas," She added.
"Merry Christmas..." Reid mumbled. "What time would be best to take you to your parent's house," Reid questioned. He hoped it didn't sound like he wanted her gone even though that is how he feels at the moment.
"Um, I'll call a cab. Ethan said that it would be best if you avoided going outside today. The storm has lightened up a bit, so maybe in an hour or so," She shrugged.
"Okay," Reid said slightly glad she wouldn't be around for much longer. He hoped she couldn't sense his happiness, but when he glanced at her, he realized that she suspected it. He looked away slightly ashamed of himself. He was pushing everyone away.
"Hey whatever is going on, you know you can tell me right?" She said trying to get through to him. Reid nodded, but suddenly felt the urge to just speak what's on his mind.
"I guess I can talk about it," Reid said looking back up at her. She smiled and took a seat.
"You and I, won't last much longer," Reid blurted out. He was shocked with himself. That isn't exactly what he thought he would say. He watched as the hurt showed in her eyes.
"What? Why?" She said her voice wavering slightly. He knew she didn't see this coming. "Is it because of that Morgan guy? Did he get to you?" She asked, her sadness turning into anger. Reid thought quickly.
"No, it's just that—that, I want you to live your dreams. I can't leave the country with my mom where she is," Reid stated realizing that he hasn't thought of her within this whole situation.
"Let's bring her with us," Heather almost begged.
"She's a schizophrenic. She'll end up killing you or me," Reid exaggerated slightly.
"It's a chance I'm willing to take, Spencer don't do this. This can't only be about your mother," She said.
Reid slowly got up and sat on the coffee table in front of her.
"It's not. It goes way deeper than that and I need to get my life squared away before I can be a part of yours," Reid said taking her hands softly.
"What's wrong?" She asked searching for the answer. Once again, Reid didn't want to put Morgan's business out there, so he decided that maybe it would be about time for her to know a little bit about his past.
"I am addicted to heroine and…Well… That will ruin your chances with the Foreign Service and I'm a wreck and my job is being threatened at this point. I can't make a future with you," Reid half-lied. Maybe pulling the drug thing wasn't the best idea, but it would definitely not break her heart personally.
"What? Why? You're a genius! You can't do something stupid like that! You're supposed to be decent!" She almost shouted. Reid pursed his lips at that. Maybe Morgan was somewhat right.
"Yeah well shit happens, so you're free to walk out the door. In fact, let me pay the taxi driver in advance so I know you'd make it to your parent's house," Reid said getting up and heading back to the comforter leaving her in shock. He smirked. He could be a jerk too.
He watched as she got up angrily and stormed to the back. Ethan came out with the pancakes.
"Where's—"
"On her way out too," Reid said taking another swig.
"I think you're a lightweight," Ethan said taking the drink out Reid's hands.
"Hey! No I'm not. Wait what was I drinking anyways?" Reid questioned glancing at the object in Ethan's hands. Reid realized he didn't have his contacts in so looking at the object was worthless.
"Well pal, you just drank a good portion of some Whiskey. When did you stock up this place?" Ethan questioned. He had to admit, Spencer had some good selections in this cabin.
"Um, never. There's this couple about half a mile down the road and the wife is in AA, but she's still having a little trouble. So, her husband drops by and leaves the alcohol she tries to sneak in on the patio out back. Hence the wide variety. You know I don't drink hard-liquor," Reid shrugged closing his eyes.
However, Heather made a noisy appearance and practically threw her bag at the front door.
"You're going to regret this," She said mainly to Spencer.
"You want a pancake?" Ethan offered. She looked at him questioningly for a second.
"One thing you haven't learned about me, Heather, is that I don't have regrets. I simply just pick up the broken pieces and move on with my life. So, don't think you're something special in my life. I've had better than you, and there will be someone better than you once you leave," Reid smirked as her anger became more visible.
"You better hope that cab gets here sooner. I think it might be time to shoot up. You know, don't they arrest people who are around the illegal substance too?" Reid asked with a short laugh. Ethan laughed as well and nodded.
"Hell yeah, 'ey, let me hit up on some of that too," Ethan smiled. She stared at the both of them with wide eyes before grabbing her bag and walking out the door.
"I guess she's waiting outside," Ethan smiled.
"I guess she doesn't want me to pay for her ride," Reid frowned.
"You're buzzed. You wouldn't be that harsh if you weren't," Ethan stated.
"True," Reid smiled. "I'll take her plate," Reid said.
"Good because I was going to be mad if I had to eat this. You already know I hate breakfast," Ethan snorted.
"How could I forget," Reid said taking a bite of the pancake.