The Fever
Fever: (noun)
1. A body temperature that is higher than normal
2. A state of heightened or intense emotion or activity
She was not there.
He had walked out of his office, and immediately everything was wrong. She was usually at work by now, where the hell was she?
He could feel the horrible sinking feeling in the deep pit of his stomach that was becoming an inconvenient habit in matters concerning Serenity.
Breathe. He had to remember to breathe. She was obviously just late. Maybe she got stuck on the way to work because of the rain, or perhaps she had to pick her car up from the mechanics before work.
Yes that must be it.
Maybe he should phone her?
No. That would be stupid. It didn't matter that she was late and had selfishly neglected to tell him. He should just calmly return to the sanctuary of his office, resume his work and when she eventually arrived, he could berate her about her tardiness and its unacceptableness in the work place.
He walked back into his office and instead of slamming the door shut like he usually would, he left it fractionally ajar.
Just in case.
He tried to dismiss the feeling of unease as he sank into his chair and attempted to engross himself in his emails. He frowned at the screen, there was a problem with the distributing company which required his immediate attention and he devoted the remainder of his morning ignoring the empty desk outside his office door.
At least he tried to, but his gaze kept unconsciously flicking towards the door.
Where the bloody hell was she?
He heard footsteps and his head instinctively snapped up, expecting it to be Serenity breezing into the office as she usually did with two steaming coffee's in her hand. When he saw Beric Johnson from Resources strolling out of the elevator instead, Seto's hopeful expression instantly turned glacial.
"Sir I need to-"
"Get out!" he snapped, sending a surprised Johnson scuttling away like a frightened cockroach. He didn't have the tolerance for useless employees at the moment. Not unless it was her.
He ran his hand through his hair with frustration, he could feel himself unravelling and it was all her damn fault.
He looked at the door again. She could have been down in Reprographics all morning, or perhaps she needed to go to the Archive department, he had neglected to check whether her handbag and coat were at her desk. Maybe he could just poke his head out of the door for a quick peek?
He shook his head, he was being completely ridiculous. It didn't matter where she was, he coolly reminded himself.
He picked up a few contracts, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as he eyed the door again.
Maybe he could just pop out and…get a file? Yes, he needed a file. The 'Hardwicke and Bronson' file would do and he knew it was stored in the cabinet just behind her desk. All he had to do was walk out and retrieve the file. Perfect.
Feeling temporarily appeased, he strode out of his office, hoping to see her perched prettily in her seat like she had been there the entire morning.
His heart sank as he saw her blank screen. No bag. No coat. No nothing. She still wasn't there.
Surely there was a perfectly acceptable explanation for her absence but as he tried to reassure himself, dark thoughts swept into his mind. What if something bad had happened to her? It had rained all night, she could have been in an accident, or maybe something had happened to her in that fleapit she called a home. He could feel his anxiety begin to rise, he had not experienced feelings like this for another being besides Mokuba and it made him feel strangely helpless.
An innocuous looking employee strolled out of the elevator but upon seeing Seto's enraged snarl, quickly tried to turn around and scurry back into the lift. But it was too late.
"You!" Seto barked. The employee jumped and turned around, his eyes wide with terror at being singled out by Seto.
"Y…Yes Sir?"
"Where the hell is Wheeler?" Seto snapped, pointing accusingly at the empty desk like the desk itself was responsible for her disappearance.
The employee looked momentarily confused and Seto belatedly realised that he had sounded more concerned about Serenity than he had intended. Seto gave the man a hard look, as if daring him to challenge his true intentions towards Serenity.
Luckily the employee was too dim-witted to suspect anything.
"Sir! Did nobody tell you?"
Did nobody tell him what? He felt like shaking the idiot. Instead he continued to glare.
"Serenity called in sick today."
The feeling was akin to being punched in the stomach. Seto had definitely not expected that.
Sick?
But she never called…
…him.
The rejection strangely stung.
Snubbing the hapless employee, Seto turned around and stormed back to his office, slamming the door behind him. He ignored his chair and walked to the large window which stretched across the back wall of his office. Although the rain from the night before had mainly passed, there remained a steady drizzle which trickled down the window pane in a grey, damp mist.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket, maybe she had called him but he hadn't noticed.
He looked hopefully at the screen.
Nothing.
With a growl of frustration, he threw his phone across the room, relishing the loud 'thunk' as it smacked against the door and bounced to the floor.
He stood there for a long time, staring glumly out of the window with his emotions rolling inside him like a tidal wave. The more he started to understand his feelings for her, the more confused he became. He prided himself on having complete control over his life; he had Mokuba and his company, he had never needed anything else. But now the one thing he had absolutely no control over was going to completely ruin him.
He leant his forehead against the cool glass and squeezed his eyes shut. For the first time in his life, he felt completely and utterly helpless.
That was it. He had to see her.
….
It was dark and damp with drizzle when he pulled up outside her apartment block. Seeing the ramshackle building a second time did not make it any more appealing than it had before but with a steely determination he stormed out of the car and marched with long strides towards the dilapidated building, not giving a damn that he got wet.
The lock on the entrance door was broken and it swung open easily with a single push. The entrance hall had an overwhelming musky smell and was littered with cigarette butts and discarded trash which he kicked aside with his polished boots. A group of youths lounged on the main staircase, passing around a bottle of beer between them with jovial banter.
Seto marched purposely towards them, his tall form towering over the young group. They immediately quietened and the tallest of the group stood up whilst the rest of the boys cowered behind him.
"I am looking for Serenity Wheeler."
It was the tall one who he assumed was the leader who spoke. "Why should I tell ya where she lives?"
Seto reached into his pocket and casually held a one hundred bill note between his fingers.
The youth looked nervous. "What do ya want wit Serenity? Ya not gonna hurt her are ya?"
Seto added another hundred note bill and coolly raised his eyebrow.
The boys eyes widened and he looked back at his friends who nodded in encouragement. He grabbed the cash and quickly stuffed it in his pocket.
"Second floor, apartment twelve," he said sheepishly. "But if ya hurt her, I'll kill ya mister!"
"Good," Seto muttered darkly and swept passed the group who gawped at him as he disappeared up the staircase.
He found her door easily; he didn't need to check the flat number to know it was definitely hers. It was a pale blue colour with white ribbon tied intricately around the knocker. It was a refreshing splash of colour in the otherwise dull, outdated building.
It was only when he was standing outside her apartment that he realised how ridiculous he was being. She probably didn't want to see him, maybe that was the reason she phoned in sick in the first place and now he had made a complete fool out of himself by turning up outside her home.
He almost turned back around to walk away but stopped. She did not call him and he wanted to know why. He had come here to see Serenity, and he vowed he will bloody well see her whether she wanted him here or not to demand an explanation.
Without further hesitation, he banged loudly on the door.
After what felt like an eternity, but in reality was probably only seconds, she opened the door, her
eyes instantly widening in surprise when she saw him.
"Mr. Kaiba! Wha-" Her voice was weak and croaky.
"You didn't call to tell me you were sick." He barked. He knew his anger was irrational but he felt she deserved it on this occasion.
She looked down at her feet and self-consciously tugged at her oversized jumper. "I erm…I called Magda, she said not to bother you-"
She looked a mess; her hair was tangled, her skin was pale and drawn, her eyes were dull and puffy, and her little nose was red. He felt his anger ebbing slightly at seeing her dishevelled appearance and he found himself boldly stepping closer to her, allowing his fingers to graze her chin and gently tipping it up so she was forced to look at him.
"In future, bother me," he said forcefully, his voice dangerously low as his eyes burned into hers.
Her lip trembled as she peeped at him with her watery eyes. She nodded, giving him an endearingly apologetic smile. He noticed her nose suddenly twitched and she had to quickly turn away to sneeze.
When she looked back at him, her mouth opened in surprised.
"My goodness you are soaked! Come in, I was just making hot chocolate." She broke away from his gaze and motioned for him to come in. He tried to protest; he had already achieved his primary purpose of coming over which was to shout at her, but as she tugged on his arm, his body involuntarily followed her inside, his words of protest strangely stuck in his throat. Perhaps five minutes wouldn't do any harm.
As he walked in, he scanned her flat. It was certainly small; he could fit her entire apartment into his bedroom, but the walls were painted in a soft yellow and she had added homely, hand-made touches which made the small space feel cosy. It was charming really, just like her.
She went to pull off his coat; even when she was sick, she was taking care of other people. Her fingers grazed lightly over his shoulders as she guided his coat over his arms and hanged it up. He hoped she couldn't detect how much he was affected by her touch.
He stood awkwardly, unsure what he was supposed to do. Seto usually avoided uncomfortable social interactions.
"Please make yourself comfortable." She gestured towards the sofa. He followed her gaze and tentatively sat down on the edge of the cushion.
A blanket was strewn across the sofa, along with a hot water bottle and a box of tissues. She had obviously been snuggled up watching the TV when he had intruded.
He realised he had interrupted her peaceful evening.
He stood up. "I didn't mean to intrude. I should go-"
"Wait." She said quickly, gently placing her hand on his shoulder.
He froze. She was doing that wonderful touching thing again.
"Please stay," she asked softly. "I have been on my own all day, I would really appreciate your company."
He looked at the pleading look in her eyes and nodded as he stiffly sat back down on the plump sofa. It was only when he was safely sat back down that she eventually released her hand from his shoulder and walked over to the small kitchenette.
He considered her words as she banged around in the kitchen. She had been on her own? No perfect boyfriend bringing her a get-well gift of flowers? No queue of would-be suitors lining up around the block bringing stuffed teddies, home-made soup, or…whatever it was that boyfriends usually did?
He had been the first to show up.
He relaxed into the cushions of the sofa, feeling strangely smug as he turned his attention to the TV as he listened to her shuffle around in the small kitchenette. He never watched TV, he never saw the point.
He decided he should probably engage in trivial conversation; ask her how she was feeling or something.
He had to cough to get his voice to work.
"How are you feeling?" His words sounded stiff and unnatural as he called to her from the living room.
She paused what she was doing and leant over the breakfast bar to look at him.
"Pretty snotty, but I'm sure I will back to work tomorrow." She gave him a tired smile before turning back to her hot chocolate making.
"Good." he said. He hoped she misunderstood the actual reason he needed her back.
As she resumed her banging, he looked at the TV questionably, what the hell was she watching?
"It's the 'Wizard of Oz.'" She had appeared from the door and followed his confused gaze to the TV. "My mum would always put it on when I was sick."
She walked towards the sofa and handed him one of the steaming mugs of hot chocolate and sat on the other end of the same sofa as him, bringing her knees up to her chest, snuggling into her jumper. He noted with amusement that she had added whipped cream and marshmallows to the hot chocolate.
He frowned at the screen. "Singing scarecrows make you feel better?"
"Yes," she responded. "Have you seen it before?"
"No." She turned to look at him curiously. He shifted uncomfortably but decided to elaborate. "I was not given the opportunity to watch such films as a child."
He had never admitted that to anyone before.
Her mouth formed a silent "Oh" and she nodded in understanding.
"Well you have the opportunity to watch it now," she said softly, still looking at him. Even though she was sick, her drowsy smile was still enchanting.
His felt his heart hammering against his ribcage and he stared at her. He wanted to open up to her, confess everything to her, but he knew he should not. He swallowed the words deep down into a hidden place where she could never know. He did not deserve this perfect creature in his life.
He forced himself to look away and sip on his hot chocolate as a suitable distraction. It was delicious.
He sat and watched the film, consciously aware of her presence next to him. She was curled up into a ball against the arm of the sofa, clutching her hot water bottle tightly as she watched the film with weary eyes, occasional sniffles and sneezes mingling with the musical numbers of the film. She would occasionally speak to point out her favourite part of the film, leaning closer to him as she gestured at the screen, the warmth of her body gently brushing against his arm.
He found himself wishing she would snuggle up to him, like Mokuba would when he was sick.
Even after he finished his hot chocolate, he couldn't bring himself to leave, he felt content. Was this what normal people did? If it was, he found he rather liked it. The film was ridiculous; singing lions, wicked witches and magical shoes to name a few of its oddities but he watched it until the end and found it wasn't as terrible as he had first thought; not that he could ever admit it but maybe he would buy it for Mokuba sometime.
He sneaked a glance over at Serenity as the credits appeared. She had fallen asleep, curled against the arm of the chair. She looked serene and peaceful, her innocence startlingly obvious even when she was asleep. He sat there for longer than what would have been deemed appropriate, his mind a storm of emotions as he watched the slow rise and fall of her breathing, inwardly battling within himself about his next actions.
Seto shifted awkwardly. He knew he couldn't just leave her there.
He slid off the sofa and quietly turned off the TV before turning his attention back to her and with shaky hands, he scooped her small body gently into his arms, relishing her warmth as he cradled her close to his chest. Although her nose was red and her hair was a knotted mass, she still made his heart ache. He wondered what she would do if she woke up in that moment, cradled in his arms. The weak part of him hoped she would smile at him, but the dark cavern in the pit of his soul knew she would recoil in horror and be repulsed by his close proximity.
He squeezed her closer to him, knowing his stolen moment with her would soon be over and carried her over to the door he correctly assumed was her bedroom. Her bedroom had the same warm, yellow colour on the walls as the rest of her apartment and was adorned with simple, homely touches which were so undeniably her.
He carefully laid her on the bed and gently covered her with the worn patch-work blanket at the end of her bed. Serenity unconsciously wriggled deeper into the warmth of the blanket and murmured contentedly. Seto sat back on the edge of her bed and watched her.
This was what he wanted. It hurt to admit it but his feelings were so much more than just a passing infatuation and it was no longer enough to just acknowledge his feelings to himself. He wanted more. He wanted a life with her, a life where he could see her this way every day. This evening had showed him what he could have, what he now so desperately wanted.
Intimacy.
He had never had it before, he had never sought it before, and it crushed him to admit he needed it now. He knew he didn't deserve her love but selfishly he wanted it from her. Correction; he needed it from her. But could he do it? Could he reveal his emotionally inadequate heart to her and hope she would not crush him beyond repair?
With trembling fingers, he daringly brushed a small strand of hair away from her face, admiring the silkiness of it between his fingers. He did not have the answers he so desperately needed but he also knew he was already in too deep for his heart to remain unscathed.
He quickly stood up to leave, he had already lingered for longer than he should have. He allowed himself one final look at her peacefully sleeping form.
"Goodnight, Serenity," he murmured quietly to the dark as he gently closed her bedroom door behind him.
He had already gone before he could hear her quiet, mumbled reply.
"Goodnight, Seto."
Dear Readers,
Please forgive my tardiness in updating, unfortunately being a grown-up has a nasty habit of interfering with writing! I hope you enjoy and please keep reviewing.
A lot of lovely Thank You's: Charismatic Beauty, SetsunaKou, Sister of the Crimson Dragon, avid, Lppurplegirl11 and guests. Thank you!
Love,
Mimzical