Summary: In the middle of a cold February night, Gold suspects that Belle has something to tell him.

Note: "Belle is terrified of another miscarriage", prompted by Esin of Sardis; "the anniversary of Belle's miscarriage" prompted by whiteorangeflower. Several other people also asked for the events of this chapter but those were the only specific prompts I could remember…

Ginger Cake

Gold woke from an uneasy dream to find Belle sitting up in bed next to him, her forehead resting on her knees. Blearily he glanced over at the alarm clock; it was half-past five.

"Belle? Sweetheart, are you all right?"

She shook her head, nodded, then shook her head again.

"What's up, love?"

Belle didn't respond, then in a burst of activity she sprang out of bed and ran for the bathroom, one hand over her mouth.

She kicked the door closed behind her and Gold heard the lock click before she vomited. He waited until she'd quietened then got out of bed, tapping the door.

"Sweetheart, can I get you anything?"

From inside the bathroom, he heard Belle crying. She didn't reply. Gold sighed.

"I'll get you some ginger tea, it'll settle your stomach."

He collected his cane from the bottom of the bed and put on his dressing gown, moving through the darkened house to the kitchen to prepare the tea. He leaned on the cooker as he waited for the kettle to boil, pinching the bridge of his nose and wishing he knew how to handle the situation.

Gold was ninety per cent sure what was wrong. Ever since he'd come in the previous evening, Belle had been wearing what he termed 'the look'. Liz had worn the look. One of his previous trainees had worn the look for about three months before she plucked up the courage to tell him she was going to need maternity leave. It was the 'I'm pregnant but I don't want to tell you' look. Belle had been unusually withdrawn and snappish all evening, before finally excusing herself to bed early with a headache.

The kettle boiled and he poured water over the lemon tea leaves and chopped ginger, letting it steep for a few minutes. Yes, he was fairly certain that Belle was pregnant, but he had no idea how to broach the subject with her if she didn't want to talk to him about it – and her behaviour was making it obvious that she didn't want to talk to him about it.

He took the tea upstairs and knocked on the bathroom door again. Belle was still crying.

"Sweetheart? Belle, please tell me what's wrong, I want to help."

There was no response, just sobbing.

Gold sighed and rested his forehead against the wooden doorframe, closing his eyes for a moment and praying that she would just let him in. "There's tea outside the door for you, love." He put the mug down and eased himself onto the floor beside the door, leaning on the wall.

After a while, the door opened a fraction and Belle's hand appeared round it to collect the tea before vanishing again. The silence stretched on.

"Gold?" Belle's voice was small through the wood. "Are you still there?"

"Of course, love."

"Gold, I'm scared."

"Why, love?"

"Because I think I'm pregnant and five years ago tonight I miscarried."

Gold leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. Fuck. Belle had never told him the anniversary date of her miscarriage, and he had never asked, reasoning that if she wanted him to know, she would tell him. Well, it certainly explained her odd mood the previous evening. Gold sighed; he had no idea what to say to reassure her, to let her know that everything was going to be ok and she shouldn't be scared.

"I skipped my period last month," Belle continued. "But I didn't think about it because I've only been off my pill since the beginning of December and the doctor said I'd be irregular for a while whilst everything got back to normal. But I skipped again this month and I've been feeling sick. So I bought a pregnancy test this morning – well, yesterday morning by now – but with it being the five year mark I was too scared to do it and now I just don't know, and I can't tell whether I want to know or not, because maybe if I don't know for sure, and I miscarry again, I can kid myself it's just my period…"

Belle burst into tears again; Gold wanted nothing more than to gather his wife up in his arms and keep her safe from all the perils of the world, to cuddle her close and tell her that everything was fine. But that was something that even he couldn't guarantee, and Belle had locked the door again.

"Oh Belle… Sweetheart… Please open the door and let me hold you."

His entreaties were met with more sobbing, and the door remained firmly closed.

At length, Belle quietened and she spoke again.

"Gold?" She sounded so small, so unsure, and it broke his heart. "Are you still there?"

"I'm not going anywhere until I see you smiling again," he replied. "Belle… I want you to be happy. I don't want you to be scared. Focus on the positives. Everything's going to be fine. You're going to carry our baby to term, and we're going to be a family. Everything's going to be fine. We're happy together and we want to have a baby. The circumstances are very different to last time, my love. I know it sounds heartless but worrying will only make it worse."

"I know." He heard Belle sigh. "I just wish I knew whether I want to know or not. Maybe if it was any other day, I wouldn't be so scared."

There was another long pause.

"Would you want to know?" Belle asked. "If I was pregnant and I miscarried early, feasibly before I might have known I was expecting… Would you want to know?"

"Yes," Gold replied without hesitation. "That is never a tragedy to be borne alone, Belle. Of course I would want to know."

They lapsed into silence again.

"There's a pregnancy test in my bottom drawer," Belle said eventually.

"You can wait till the morning if you'd feel more at ease," Gold said. "I know this must be an emotional night for you, suspicions of pregnancy aside."

"No." Belle's voice was firm, and Gold was grateful to hear some of her normal conviction returning to her words. "I need to pee anyway and right now I just want to know, I think. I think not knowing is making me more nervous than knowing would."

"Ok. If you're sure."

Gold got up off the floor with some difficulty; his knee had gone stiff and it took him a while to get over to Belle's bedside table and search her drawer. She'd hidden the test well, but he finally unearthed it and brought it back to the bathroom. The door was open a little and he poked the box through the gap before going to sit on the end of the bed to ease his aching leg.

He waited for what seemed like an age before the door opened. Belle stood in the frame, clutching the test in one hand and nothing in the other, her fist opening and closing and needing something to hold. Gold held out his hand and Belle rushed forward to take it, clinging on for dear life.

He raised his eyebrows to question, and Belle merely showed him the test.

For a moment, as he stared at the little blue plus sign, Gold was speechless. To have suspicions was one thing, to have them confirmed was something completely different.

"Oh Belle," he breathed, wrapping his arms around her. Belle needed no further invitation and curled up in his lap, burying her face in his neck. "My beautiful, brave, brilliant, darling Belle. I love you so much, and I am so very, very happy."

Belle looked up at him and finally, he saw her lovely smile.

"I'm happy too. I'll be much happier when I've seen a doctor. But I'm happy."

She looked over his shoulder towards the window, where the grey light of dawn could be seen beyond the curtains. At the same time, Gold's alarm went off and he reached across to silence it with his free hand. He had no intention of going into work today, not until he knew that Belle was definitely all right.

"I survived the night," Belle said. "I'm still here and so is the baby."

She paused. "Gold, whatever happens, whatever the doctor says, please don't tell anyone. Not yet. Just in case. Just until we've got past the twelve week mark."

"Of course, love. Whenever you're ready. But remember this, Belle, because it is important." He put two fingers under her chin and gently turned her face up towards him so that he could look into her eyes. "Belle, whatever happens, I love you more than I can express, and nothing will change that."

There were tears in Belle's eyes when she kissed him.

"I love you too."

They stayed in their embrace for a long time as the room gradually got lighter and lighter, and a cold but bright February dawn broke over their next great adventure.