Hey! So I managed to write this storryyyyy :) with school and all this is what I came up withhh ;) so I hope you enjoy (=￣ ρ￣=) ..zzZZ anyways tell me what you think :)) this story is in Katniss's POV On how she is reacting towards Peeta's behavior and the problem.

Katniss POV

Why can't Peeta understand that the happiness in my heart can only come from him? I don't think he realizes that my life would have no meaning to it, unless he were a part of it. He is the only one that could ever bring me to life again. Peeta. No one else. I don't think I fully realized this until the Quarter quell kiss I shared with Peeta, on the beach. I always considered this kiss our first real kiss. I'm still not sure if it was for Peeta too, or if he thought I was acting for the cameras. For me it was real, I kissed him out of my own feelings, not to entertain the audience. It awoke my hunger that made me want even more kisses. More kisses that I could ever imagine of getting. I tried to tell him that I really needed to survive, hoping he would believe me. I feel now that all this time, even during the first games, I had true feelings for Peeta. I was too afraid to acknowledge my love for him, I couldn't think about loving anyone at that time. I was afraid, in some way, to love someone. Unfortunately, I will never actually know whether he believed me or not. Peeta could make things good again, no matter how bad our losses. I probably ruined our friendship, not to mention any future with Peeta at all. I should have just waited until he was fully decided on his feelings for me. I was rushing, but I just couldn't help myself. I'm fully aware that I will eventually have to face Peeta again. I can't just ignore him.

I can't take not being with him at all, I want to talk to someone about. It can't be Peeta, obviously. Well eventually I would have to tell him how I feel, I just feel really stupid right now. There is only one other person I can think of. Haymitch. No way am I gonna talk to him about my boy problems. That old, drunk bastard wouldn't care. I try to think of someone else, but there is no one. I sigh, knowing I am out of options.

Without thinking, I grab a light jacket, slip on my boots, and run to Haymitch's house. I try to transport quick, I don't know why, but I don't want Peeta to see me. Of course, his house isn't even locked. I slam the door behind me.

"Haymitch." I say loud, but not yelling.

"Look who decided to show up." I hear him respond not too long after I call his name. I soon see Haymitch clumsily walk down the stairs. He walks over to his couch and gestures for me to follow.

"Sit down." He says. I just look at him.

"I'm guessing you didn't come here for a drink?" He states while still asking a question.

"No." I finally manage to say.

"I came here to, um, talk." I try to say seriously.

"Okay," he sets down his liquor bottle I assume he brought from upstairs,

"What is it now sweetheart?" He asks impatiently.

"Well," I start, "Peeta hates me." I say. Although I know what I said isn't entirely true.

"Katniss, you know that's not true." He says politely.

"Well he doesn't love me anymore! And it's your fault!" I yell at him.

Haymitch looks at me, nodding.

"I see what this is about." He says. I roll my eyes at him.

"Look Katniss, I know this is going to need a little bit of getting used to, but like I said before, there's still a chance that he is trying to find his love for you again." He says nonchalantly.

"But haymitch-"

"Katniss have you even ever asked if he still loves you? You don't know of he does or doesn't." Haymitch questions me.

"No, why would I?" I ask.

Haymitch doesn't seem to have an answer. "The point is, you can't blame him for what happened,"

"I don't!" I interrupt him.

"Let me finish." He holds up a hand.

"It's not his fault that he can't remember,"

"Haymitch I know that." I interrupt again.

"Sweetheart would you just let me finish what I'm trying to say?" He says annoyed.

"You can't just expect him to love you again, he can't remember, no matter how hard he tries. All he is given are flashbacks, memories that don't make sense to him."

"I know that, but I just," I stop. tears start to well up in my eyes.

"I know how much you cared about him." Haymitch insists.

How much I do care about him.

"Why don't you talk to him about it? Why are you even over here instead of there? And how did you get in my house!" Haymitch says when he finally comes to realization.

"Your door was open. And I can't. I made a fool out of myself, Peeta wouldn't understand if I tried to explain. He can't remember how he used to feel about me!" I say louder than intended.

I hate the feeling of him not loving me anymore. I now know how he felt all those years loving me when I didn't love him back. I wish there was an easier way of explaining, but there isn't. He wouldn't be able to relate to the past. He can't distinguish whether events were real or not. Or how he felt towards specific events. It hurts, knowing someone who once loved you doesn't anymore. And you just now start to realize hoe much you actually loved them. How I could I even feel sorry for myself? After all Peeta has gone through? I didn't even care to show him how much I loved him. He waited for me, and was always worried for me. He just wanted me to feel safe, to make sure I knew everything was okay. Of course, Peeta still has those qualities. It's hard to explain how painful it is for him to forget his love for me. I want him to remember how it felt to be in love with me again. And even if he did fall in love with me for a second time, it wouldn't have originated from his love for me. Parts of our love story wouldn't have come from the Quell kiss, the first games, the nights on the train, protecting each other, the secrets we shared, going through tough times together. The 'deep stuff.' I remember once he asked me what my favorite color was. Apparently he considered that some sort of a secret. None of that matters anymore. All those cherished memories to me, mean nothing to him anymore. Even Peeta knowing it was an act at first, he should remember how he turned it into something more to me. How it went from an act, to being real. This makes me want to cry, even with Haymitch right beside me. He must have noticed my silence while I was in deep thought, he is staring at me with big eyes.

"He can't remember any of the good times!" I screech.

"He'll never learn to love me again! Not without the memories!" I yell even more. At this point I am crying, tears streaming down my eyes nonstop. I turn to leave Haymitch and his drunken self alone and run home, but once I do I see probably the last thing I want to see right now. I almost run into him.

Peeta is standing in Haymitch's doorway, with a freshly baked loaf of bread. He must have brought it for Haymitch.

He can see me crying, he probably heard what I said, and he looks more hurt than I am right now.

The look on his face pains me. This makes me want to cry even more.

Peeta looks at me in disbelief with wide, glassy eyes.

His lip quivers before he speaks, "Katniss?" He asks, a little bit confused, but obviously upset.

Suddenly, he looks tense. And that's when his eyes turn to ice, focused on me. Not me, but me as a mutt. He's having an attack.

OK this is a rather short chapter and I hope you guys are okay with it! I'm sorry if you found numerous typos but like I said I write on an iPod and you know autocorrect and stuff. Well if you didn't get the literal hint I wrote in the passage, Peeta is having a flashback. Anyway tell me what you think! Constructive critisism really helps me improve! I hope you liked it. I will try to update soon, pls don't get mad if it's a little while! I should write a long paragraph to my school mates who don't ship everlark :/