A/N. Hey :) two updates in one day! Sweet! I have no life. Not sweet for me but sweet for you :P Hope you guys enoy :D
CHAPTER XII
Edward Star, Grant Rickman, and Allie Nova of the FBI walked up to the door of August Zane's house. Edward pulled at his collar uncomfortably as sweat poured down his face, threatening to ruin his makeup. "Again, I ask, how do women and stage monkeys do this?"
"Quit complaining Stark, before I really do stab you in the eye with a pencil," Allie threatened as she walked ahead of them.
"I'm not afraid of you Romanoff," Edward bit back.
"I didn't get that impression," mumbled Grant.
"Shut up Spandex!"
"Take your own advice, why don't you?"
"BOYS!" Edward and Grant whipped their heads around to face Allie who had turned and had both hands on her hips, tapping her foot in annoyance. "Get off each other's backs and get into character. We're about to interrogate a potential suspect of someone who might have wanted to kill Tania. Don't. Blow it."
She spun around and knocked forcefully on the door. A few seconds later, it swung open to reveal a man who looked exactly like Tania's sketch. Grant's grip on his badge tightened considerably, but other than that, he hid his anger well.
Allie flashed her badge. "Allie Nova of the FBI. These are agents Edward Star and Grant Rickman. We have reason to believe you might be guilty of attempted murder."
August's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "W-what?" His British accent was discernible even through that one stuttered word.
"Mind if we come in?" she asked before stepping into his home and pocketing her badge. The two agents followed her wordlessly. All three of them wore cool sunglasses and designer, expensive suits. Allie removed her glasses and folded them, hanging them on her breast pocket.
August closed the door wordlessly and walked into his living room as if in a daze. He sat down on the couch, deathly pale. Allie sat across from him and crossed her legs. Edward and Grant remained standing behind her with their arms clasped in front of them, looking intimidating.
Allie tucked her blonde hair (wig) behind her ear and stared at him sternly through brown contacts. "Let's cut to the chase. Where were you on the night of January fourth?"
"The fourth? That was last night."
"Good observation, Sherlock," Edward commented sarcastically. Grant stepped on his foot and the first man bit back a cry before glaring at the other agent.
August paled further, if that was even possible. "I-I… um…"
"Yes?" Allie prodded, voice recorder at the ready.
He gulped, smoothing down his greasy and sweat stained white T-shirt nervously. "L-last night… I was with… um… with…"
"Spit it out!" Edward ordered. Grant elbowed him this time and the eccentric agent sucked in a breath but otherwise didn't react.
"I… was out."
"Out where?" Allie asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Um, a… a hotel."
This piqued everyone's interests. Tania had been attacked in a hotel. Maybe they were on to something.
"Which one?" Allie inquired.
August swallowed the lump in his throat. "Can I ask a question first?"
Before Edward could even open his mouth, Grant punched his arm. The older agent glared at him. "What was that for?!" he whisper hissed so that the others couldn't hear.
"Keep your mouth shut, Stark or you'll botch the whole mission."
"Maybe I'll stop talking when you stop abusing me!"
"I'll stop hitting you when you shut up!"
"So," Allie started loudly to cover up her coworkers incessant bickering, "What question did you have?"
The suspect cleared his throat. "Um, well… who do you think I… killed?"
Allie blinked. "I said attempted murder. You didn't kill anyone. That we know of." She raised another delicate eyebrow.
"Oh no! I didn't- you misunderstand me. I didn't kill no one! I swear!" He waved his hands back and forth frantically. "I didn't try to kill anyone either! I was just having a little fun."
"What kind of fun?" Grant asked, stepping forward menacingly. If this man thought that putting a knife to his girlfriend's throat was fun… A light blow to his shin had him whirling his head towards Edward, who was smirking at him. Grant clenched his fists.
"Just… you know… a one night thing." August rubbed the back of his neck nervously and avoided looking any of them in the eye. "Am I gonna go to prison?"
"That depends on whether or not you're guilty of what we think you did," Allie replied smoothly.
"I didn't try to kill anyone, honest!"
"You still haven't told us what hotel you were at."
He grumbled to himself for a bit, seemingly fighting with himself about whether or not he should tell them. Eventually, he looked up. "I was at Swell Lake across town." He pointed at his wall as if they all had x-ray vision and could see through it to the location far away. "But don't tell my wife! Please! She'll kill me!"
"Tell her what? You said you didn't try to take anyone's life."
He blanched again. "That… that I was at a hotel… with a girl…" he mumbled quietly.
Allie frowned. "Can you tell me the girl's name?"
His eyes widened. "No, I- I don't want her to get in trouble! She doesn't know I'm married. She didn't do anything wrong. We just… just slept together. One night stand. That's all."
Edward and Grant scowled in almost perfect sync. It was unintentional but had the beneficial effect of making August shrink into the couch. Allie spoke up again. "Do you have any proof that you were at that hotel last night?"
He scrunched up his face in thought. "There were witnesses. A-and security cameras."
Allie looked over at her partners and they both nodded at her. She nodded back before returning her gaze to a shaking August. "That will be all for now, Mr. Zane. If we find any hint that you were guilty we will be back. And next time, we will not be so friendly." She replaced her sunglasses on her face before getting up. August scrambled to his feet and rushed to open the door for her.
"I-I understand." He nodded vigorously. "H-have a nice evening." With that, Allie, Edward, and Grant walked out onto the street under the stars in London, England.
Allie sighed as they made their way to the car with tinted windows. When they were fully inside, she peeled off her wig and fake nose, revealing the face of Natasha Romanoff. "He seems clean to me. But we better hack into the hotel's surveillance feed to double check." She began popping out her contacts using the rear-view mirror.
Edward tore off his own fake jaw that covered his beard and ran his fingers through his slicked back hair, shaking it out as much as he could, revealing himself to be Tony Stark. "No problem. I'll have JARVIS hack it. Just drive us somewhere to sleep," he dismissed from the backseat as he fetched his laptop from the bag next to him.
In the passenger seat, Grant pulled off his wig and fake mustache (man it felt weird to wear it…) to reveal the exasperated face of Steve Rogers. As Natasha changed gears and pulled off the side of the road in the sleek black vehicle, the Captain leaned his forehead against the cold glass of the window.
"Where to next?"
"Ireland is closer," Natasha pointed out.
He nodded in agreement. "Ireland it is then. Shall we sleep on the plane?"
"No way," Tony stated from behind them. "We're finding a place to stay for the night."
"There's a SHIELD safe house not too far from here where we can crash, assuming it's not currently occupied. Clint and I have used it a couple times on missions here. It's quite roomy."
"Perfect. Make it so, Allie."
Natasha rolled her eyes but turned on the turning signal and changed lanes into the one that would eventually take them onto the highway.
The car was filled with silence except for Tony's tapping of the keys and Steve was just impatient to nab the man trying to kill his girlfriend. According to the others, there was no rush, but the longer Tania was alone and that murderer was out there, Steve didn't think he'd be able to sleep very well. He wanted to bring that man to justice so that he and Tania could live and sleep peacefully and without fear.
"Something wrong, Cap?" Natasha asked, sneaking a sideways glance at him while driving. Tony looked up from his typing briefly.
Steve shook his head. "Not really. I'm just… anxious, I guess."
"Well that was obvious from how you were acting in there," Tony said before returning to his computer.
Steve reached over to Natasha's seat and used it turn himself around to face the billionaire with narrowed eyes. "You're one to talk. You wouldn't shut up."
"Last I checked, encouraging him to spill wasn't against the law."
"You should have stayed quiet."
"So should you!"
"What I said was a question. You were being unnecessarily sarcastic and deliberately-"
"You're outburst was uncalled for too!"
"Stark, don't make me-"
"Don't make you what? Hit me again? That is physical abuse-!"
"EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Natasha screamed, slamming her foot on the brakes and pulling over unexpectedly. When they were parked and the car stopped squealing, she turned around and glared at them to the best of her ability. "BOTH of you should have kept your mouths shut but you didn't so forget about it! There's nothing you can do now so stop bickering like children or I swear to God you'll both wake up missing limbs. Do I make myself clear?"
Tony and Steve grumbled. Steve's was something along the lines of, "I don't see how this verbal abuse is any better than what I was doing." Natasha hardened her glare and they both recoiled.
"Don't make me repeat myself," she threatened, low and menacing.
"Yes, Natasha," the two of them chorused out of synchronisation like a classroom full of school children.
"Good." The assassin turned back around and readjusted her seatbelt before switching gears and pulling back onto the road. She turned on the radio to some random station that was playing country music and left it there, not caring if anyone liked it or not.
A few minutes later, Tony's laptop beeped. "Aha! What's the sitch, Jarvis?"
The AI's robotic and British voice filled the air as Steve turned down the radio. "The lobby cameras of Swell Lake suggest that August Zane was present at the time of Miss Banks' attack."
"Just like we thought. Okay, that's all. See you in a few, J."
"See you, Sir."
Tony closed the device and stuffed it back in his bag. "How much longer, Nat?"
Natasha gripped the steering wheel harder and gritted her teeth. "Ten minutes at most."
He nodded. "Right. Well. I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired and I want to sleep. Put the pedal to the metal Widow and let's get some Zs."
Steve wrinkled his eyebrows together. "Zs?"
"He's referencing sleep. It's a little hard to explain why. I'll google it for you when we get back." The red head answered.
Steve nodded in thanks. The rest of the right was spent in silence with country music playing in the background and Tony's snoring becoming louder and louder as he slumped in the backseat.
"Natasha?" Steve turned his head to look at her even though he knew she couldn't make eye contact with him for very long, what with driving and everything.
"Yeah, Steve?"
"Do you mind that Tony called you Nat?"
There was a short pause before she responded. "Yes and no. I don't mind it so much if he's not being annoying, which is ninety nine percent of the time."
"Would you… mind if I called you Nat?"
She glanced at him from the corner of her eye before darting back to the road. "No. Close friends can call me Nat, but only Clint is allowed to call me Tasha."
Steve nodded in comprehension. "So you consider Tony a close friend?"
She clenched her teeth. "Close enough. We've been living together for eight months. We've saved the world together. We've fought evil together on more than one occasion. He annoys the hell out of me but he isn't a bad person. He's not the egotistical jerk I originally thought him to me. He's still egotistical and he's still a jerk half the time but… I'm beginning to see a little of why Pepper stuck around for so long."
Steve took all this in. "I see."
"I know you don't think he's a bad person either."
Steve sighed. "No. There's more to him than meets the eye. I just… so many of the things he does drives me insane, you know?"
She snorted rather unladylike. "Trust me, I know."
"It's like he can be this insensitive asshole one second and then the next he's a serious and considerate person who really cares about you."
"I know. But it's the second half that keeps us around."
"And the first half that endears us to him."
"I don't know about that…"
Steve chuckled. Afterward, he pursed his lips, deep in thought. "Do you think… I was too hard on Tony?"
She seemed to contemplate this seriously. "Maybe a little. There was no need for physical violence although I have to admit that I would have done the same thing. I don't think it's the same coming from a woman, though. Even from me."
He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I'll apologize to him when he wakes up."
"No need, Captain." Steve and Natasha jumped (though she'd never admit it and it was very subtle) at the sound of Tony's voice. Only Steve turned to look though.
The mechanic sat up groggily and rubbed at his eyes as Natasha pulled into a driveway. "I heard everything," he confessed before yawning. "I was never asleep, just drifting."
The agent parked the car and undid her seatbelt. "Don't let any of what was said go to your head Stark or you won't have one for your ego to inflate." With that, she pushed open the door and exited the car, slamming it closed after her.
Steve turned to face him. "Tony, I-"
"Save it Cap. You didn't actually hurt me and I know you didn't mean to cause trouble or blurt the question out. It was just instinct. If it had been Pepper I don't think I would have controlled myself nearly as well as you did."
Steve's features softened. "Thanks Tony. You're sure I didn't hurt you?"
"Positive. I'm perfectly fine."
"You know, we sure do bicker a lot. Like children."
The two of them ignored the sounds of Natasha rummaging through the trunk for her suitcase and continued to sit in the car as Tony answered. "Like brothers."
Steve blinked in surprise and opened his mouth to protest – only to close it again. A smile stretched his lips and he nodded. "Like brothers," he agreed.
"Get your asses out here and help me with your luggage or so help me I will literally drag you out here!"
Steve and Tony scrambled out of the car.
A/N. Just so no one's confused. Stotasha *snickers* (Steve/Tony/Natasha) are undercover as Grant Rickman (Steven Grant Rogers), Edward Star (Anthony Edward Stark), and Allie Nova (Natalia Alianovna Romanova). See ya next chapter! ;D