Hunger Games Fanfiction

Chapter 9

(Peeta POV)

I almost run up the stairs to where the house is, on top of the bakery downstairs. It's quite a small place. We aren't the richest of people even if other people think we are but we get by. There is four small bedrooms, a living room, two bathrooms (but children aren't aloud to use my Mum's bathroom.) and a kitchen/ dining room that is connected to the living space. It's cosy, especially with so many people living in it. There is another little room down by the back of the bakery but no one uses it, except for when extended family visit or when Mum gets angry at me. It's a nice house, homely but its not home.

The bakery is the only old-fashioned bakery in a ten mile radius and people like to buy fresh bake goods and bread, so we do get a lot of paying customers usually. This means that Rye and I are always working, either baking or helping customers at the front. Fenton doesn't have to though, unless he wants to though. He is the favourite son for my mother, always has been. I admit I resent his relationship with my mother a bit but I wouldn't want to be him. There is a lot of pressure on him. He is currently at university, studying business and even if we won't admit it, he is struggling and doesn't particularly enjoy it, so he comes by the bakery as often as possible. Since it's still a holiday, he is technically living with us but he mostly stays at his new girlfriend's house and since Mum and Dad are away, he is staying there almost permanently. It's sort off a good thing, since we need the extra room.

I do feel a little guilty for inviting Finn and Katniss to live with us without telling Dad but I know that if I tell him, he will tell Mum which means that I would have to spill the beans about what Katniss has gone through and who she is and I do not want to tell my mother. The outcome would not be pleasant. Yet I do not feel guilty about them actually staying with us. Katniss needs to get away from life for a while. Even if that excuse of a man is arrested, doesn't mean that she would still want to stay in that life. I don't think she really had that much of a good life. She of course had Finn but it has taken a toll on her over the past few months. It may have just been Gale that has made her like this but I think it was a number of things. If I was her, I would've given up years ago. She is tough though and her walls have only started to fall in the past couple of months. Finn gets it bad as well but he has more things going for him. A loving girlfriend who he adores, he can get friends so easily its unfair and he has Katniss. He has his moments when he is gloom but he lets things go a lot easily but he is no were near as brave as Katniss. They are so unalike its almost like they aren't twins.

Katniss joins me in my small room. I'm staring out the window, still deep in thought but I know that she is here. "Hey." She barely whispers.

I turn around and give a small, pathetic smile. Her face though is sad. Her eyes aren't their normal bright, grey orbs but are much darker and tired. I get why she feels those emotions but it still hurts to see them in her eyes. I do feel sorry for her, like I should be able to take her pain away but I know she doesn't need my pity, just my friendship and nothing else, she made is almost clear that she doesn't want anything else.

Its still confusing though. When I first kissed her, she was happy but in the space of two minutes her emotions dramatically changed, to almost hating me and it hurts. Finn is getting annoyed at me because I won't tell him what happened. He thinks that I may have hurt her but I didn't purposely, it was just reflexes and I don't totally regret it but she does.

"Hi." I reply.

We stand there in an awkward both of us not knowing what to say.

"Sorry"

"Sorry"

We both blurt out at the same time. This makes me grin a little but just makes her mouth turn down. I sigh. "You can go first." I say.

She looks tense and upset. She doesn't speak for a while. I' about to talk but she beats me to it. "I'm so sorry Peeta."

I give a questioning look, not knowing what she is apologising for exactly.

"I shouldn't have walked away from you like that, that wasn't the right thing to do. I was just annoyed and overwhelmed… I'm sorry."

"Why are you so annoyed at me?"

Wrong thing to say, she looks even more annoyed. "Why do you think I'm annoyed? Peeta you have been my best-friend, my rock, the only thing that has made me happy for years, you're my saviour but yet you still feel sorry for me, you basically thought the only way to make me even a tiny bit better, was to kiss me. I don't need your pity."

I stare opened mouthed at her, shocked and angry. Can she really think so little of me? "You thought I took advantage of you basically?"

She just looks down. "Really Katniss? You think I would act and think like that? I'm not some creep who does that, ok?" I'm almost shouting and am slowly pacing the room.

"Well after what I've been through, can you blame me?" She's almost screaming.

Tears a falling down her face and she clings to her throat in pain. I've almost forgotten everything that has happened to her. She got punched in the throat and was almost raped by her best friend… her best friend. Who am I? I'm her best friend. This is almost exactly like the same situation for her. She's scared of me? That thought alone brings tears to my eyes.

She sits down on my bed and curls her arms around her knees and rests her head on them. Her shoulders shake. I'm so stupid and clueless. It pains me to see her like this and I've done this to her.

I sit gingerly next to her. I bring my hand up to rub her back but flinches away from my touch. This makes my threatening tears run. "I'm so sorry Katniss, I wasn't thinking. I understand why you hate me. I won't judge. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I just… I don't know… I'm clueless, the worst friend ever."

I swallow hard and the tears are now running heavily. I'm embarrassed to show my feelings so easily but I blame it on the lack of sleep and routine. I know that I love Katniss and even if it breaks my heart, I will let her go, if it makes her happy.

The only thing is that now that she lives with me, my heart will shatter every time I see her and if she meets another guy… I don't think I could cope.

I'm just going to have to be blunt with her. "Katniss, I'm not going to lie and I'm not going to hold back, you deserve the truth."

She lifts her head slightly, her tears drying slowly. I breathe heavily, just say it, she already hates you. "I…I… think I lo-love you." I stutter, tears running down my face.

My self-esteem is at its lowest and I know I'm a horrible person but its just too overwhelming its been eating me alive since I've known her and I know this is not the time to be doing it but if she is going to be staying here she has to know.

I'm waiting for her rejection, I've closed my eyes, not wanting to see the disgust on her face. She makes no sound and I know its desperately bad.

She is silent for so long that I decide to get up and leave, muttering "Sorry".

She grabs my arm suddenly. "Don't you dare leave Peeta Mellark." She says gently but I can still hear the seriousness in her words. Her face is emotionless. "We need to talk properly. No crying. No arguing. No judging. Just to explain what is actually going on."

"Sounds good." Is all I can say.

(Katniss POV)

He loves me? He sounded so honest but I can't take him seriously. It's too confusing.

We sit crossed-legged on the twin bed, facing each other. We're both looking down and he is red in the cheeks. It's comical really, the hole situation and the way he looks. He looks cute.

I start laughing and he looks up at me confused. "What?" he asks.

I regain my composure but I can see that he is trying not to laugh. Laugh therapy does work. "Just the whole situation, the seriousness of it makes me laugh, we have never been truly serious together since we first met and you look adorable when you blush." I throw my hand over my mouth.

He makes a crooked smile and chuckles. "Oh my gosh, I was not meant to say that out loud." I tell him.

"Katniss its fine, don't be embarrassed, I should be the one blushing and I know I am but you shouldn't."

I can tell I'm blushing. I now just want the old, care-free Peeta back. "Are you serious in what you say?" I ask gently.

He looks down and slowly nods, I nod as well. I'm silent, thinking.

What should I say? Do I like him like that? The answer is yet and I long to be with him but my mind knows that no good will come from it. I don't know if I love him in that way but I know I have feeling for him that aren't what friends feel towards each other. Can I really let my barriers down again? "What do you want me to say?" I ask.

"The truth, how you feel."

I breathe in. "Okay. Peeta I think of you as my saviour, my rock. Everything goes wrong in my life but you are always there and keeps me sane. You are the boy with the bread, who saved my life. You are basically the best person in my life, except for Finn. You are funny, the kindest person I've ever met, have a heart of gold and… handsome." I whisper the last word, " This is really hard for me but you asked for the truth so I'm only going to say the truth. I think that- no, I know that I do have other… feelings for you that aren't just friendship, I think I have for years now but it scares me. You are the best thing in my life and I couldn't live without you, you are the only other person who makes me happy. You basically are my life."

I stare off into the distance through the window. I really do ramble on. I've never been good with words, better with action but that had to be through words.

I don't say anything, just stare out the window. "You don't know how much that meant to me." He states.

I look at him. He is right next to me, inches away from my face, making my voice hitch. "What?"

"You don't know the effect you have on me."

"You already said that." I smile.

"It's true though, you don't."

I smile and shake my head. "You don't know how badly I want to kiss you right now." He states.

I look at him in the eye, my heart racing. He looks like he is in a daze but the look in his blue eyes tells me how deadly serious he is. I say something that I know will make us both happy. "You don't have to ask." I whisper.

He looks stunned, eyebrows up. I take advantage of his shocked face. I lean forward and our lips connect. He reacts straight away, moving his soft lips with mine. He wraps his arms around the small of my back, bringing me closer to him and I hook one arm around his neck and I place the other on his chest, over his heart. Its racing. He runs his tongue over my bottom lip, making a moaning noise escape my lips and making him smile. I part my lips, our breath mingling.

We come up for breath at the same time and just rest our foreheads against each others, a smile on both our faces. We're both breathing heavily. "I wish our first kiss was like this." I state.

He chuckles. "Agreed"

He pulls back a little, looking at me in the eye. "What does this make us?" he asks.

I shake my head. "Something new and wonderful."

He smiles knowing my true answer. "I love you." He whispers.

I can't help but think of how soon I will be able to repeat those words, without fear. The thought gives me happiness and I know that I will say them soon. We just have to wait.

Thank you for reading. Please review.

I do not own The Hunger Games or the characters.