Author's Note:

Oh my goodness…I keep getting so many ideas for this fanfic and I'm not sure which ones I will actually execute and which I will toss. I hope that the ones that I do choose will be the "right" ones and will keep your interest; lots of Fate/Zero references in this one because I'm feeling like writing a nostalgic Rin.

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(Rin's POV)

The night air is cool but it feels good and it helps me to think. I sit on the balcony outside my room, hugging my knees, in my white nightgown and take in the full moon that shines its light on the grounds below.

Did we really see another servant? Both Archer and I picked up on the glimmer of gold in the distance and the spike in mana. I finger the golden mana compass in my hand; my birthday present from my father ten years ago. I haven't used it in a long time, but recent events are causing me to doubt my own abilities.

I swallow hard, fingering the cool smooth metal while childhood memories flood my mind. My father would know what to do. He had so much more to teach me, he promised to teach me more after the grail war…but it wasn't meant to be. I've done my best to uphold the Tohsaka Motto to be elegant and strong no matter the situation. But there have been many times that I have failed…I'm stubborn and emotional, I rush into things without thinking and I don't always realize the consequences of my actions. It occurs to me that my father wouldn't have gone looking for fights; he would have collected as much information on his enemies, allowed for them to take each other on and then confront the victor when the time came. Elegance…and patience…two things I hardly possess.

I barely move when Archer sits down beside me. He's comfortable, having taken off his outer armor, his hair moving with the breeze. He supports himself with his left hand at his side, leg outstretched, the other propped up with his right arm draped across, staring out at the grounds.

We sit in silence for a moment until he remarks about my compass, "Are you expecting something?"

"I'm not sure," I state honestly, watching the dial on the compass as though it were going to give me a response, "Things are strange and I feel safer with this."

"You don't trust your own senses?" He's not being sarcastic, "My senses?"

I shake my head, "It's not that," Well maybe its half true, "My father gave this to me before he died. He wanted to protect me from the things that I couldn't handle."

"Are you having doubts about the war?" He catches my expression and continues, "About our opponents perhaps?"

"I feel like I need to reassess things. If we knew what motivated our opponents and their reasoning for obtaining the grail, then maybe…"

I blush because the concept sounds so stupid, but it's also simple. Of course, I should have been thinking like my father the entire time. If I had, I wouldn't have come so close to losing Archer with Berserker…I wouldn't have gone to confront Caster at the temple either…

Archer interrupts my thoughts, "Are you suggesting that we change our tactics completely?" His eyes lock with mine and I feel compelled to speak the truth.

"I think that's exactly what I want to do," I start my grip tightening on the compass before I continue with more conviction; "I want to know my enemy, learn all I can. I won't run and hide, it's not in my nature, but I won't make myself an easy target either. Caster's plan is to use me for my magical circuits, I'll be a sacrifice, and I should focus on us for now not the other servants. I need to strengthen the barrier, because if Kirei can walk right in…"

Archer and I share our ideas simultaneously yet he voices them before I do, "How did Kirei walk right into the grounds? And why did he trigger your senses?"

For the first time since Kirei's visit I'm really beginning to think about this. "Kirei was my father's student; he's skilled, but he's still human…my barrier was designed to detect servants."

We both share looks of confusion and start listing our theories.

Did Kirei have an instrument on him that possessed a great deal of mana? Were Kirei's spiritual levels high enough to trigger our senses? We both laugh halfheartedly at the idea. Or…was the alternative that a servant came through, using Kirei's visit as an opportunity to do so?

"That's got to be it, Archer. What other explanation could there be?" I ponder as the moon goes behind a cloud; darkness shields his features from me.

I know that he can still view me perfectly with his enhanced vision, "I believe we have discovered a chink in the armor, that is, of your barrier. Apparently, a servant in spiritual form can enter the grounds when cloaked and using someone to shield them."

I sigh as realization at my own stupidity dawns on me and complain that, "Father would be so embarrassed."

"At least we know," comments Archer as though the solution has been found and our battle won, "You should get some sleep, Rin."

"I'm not a child that needs to be reminded to go to bed," I reply haughtily.

But his response has no trace of sarcasm, "I merely was looking out for my master's wellbeing. You haven't slept well since your battle with Caster; you cry out in your sleep. I try to ignore it…"

And I feel like dirt. Why do I always do that? Why are my reactions always defensive? I know why…because I've never had anything…more like, anyone to trust since my parents were murdered. Instead of making excuses or yelling at Archer for needing to mind his business I go for another route; one I'm less comfortable with.

"Taking on Caster's magic was hard on me," I admit, albeit embarrassed of my own inferiority—I remind myself of elegance; even if it is hard to swallow, "What I mean to say is, I haven't felt that level of helplessness since I was a child; parrying her magically took all of my concentration and performing the transportation spell was something that I had never done before…not with 3 other people involved," I pause to collect my thoughts, "…It just caused a lot of memories to resurface. That's probably what you hear at night. The last war left me an orphan and with a lot of regrets."

"I'm sorry."

His words and the sincerity of his voice catch me off guard. "Sorry?"

"Yes," he replies and as his eyes lock with mine I see a hint of genuine kindness, "I'm sorry that you suffered. Rin?"

"Yes?"

"What is your reason for seeking the grail?"

I can feel the tears threatening to fall. I place my hands over my face for a moment and take a deep breath before answering him. When I uncover my face and turn to him, I know that my tears are falling, but it's alright…for it's not weakness to cry when the words are from the heart.

"I want to restore honor to my family. To find the root, that has always been my family's desire, my father passed it on to me. But mostly, I want my father to know that his foolish daughter was still able to perform her duties and to remain strong and elegant," I smile and add, "because that's the Tohsaka Motto and I'm honored to be the daughter of Tohsaka Tokiomi."

I turn my attention to the full moon now free from passing clouds and we sit in silence, for no more words are required.

NNN

"Shirou, it probably won't be much longer before our alliance with Rin and Archer must end."

Saber's words ring true, but Shirou smiles halfheartedly. "I know that Saber…but we still owe Tohsaka a lot."

Saber stares out at the full moon, both sitting on the porch of the Emiya residence. "I agree. It doesn't give me any pleasure to remind you that there can only be one victor. The last war, the one your father was in, alliances were made and broken for a number of different reasons, but the end is always the same."

"You probably think that I'm pretty naïve Saber, but I don't want to admit that Rin and I are enemies until it is she who attacks us."

Saber sighs at her master's truth, "I do find you naïve; however, I do hope that you will not forget that Rin's partner is Archer. Archer's are known to be strong willed and disobedient at times; I would not put all my faith in Rin's mastery of him."

"True," agrees Shirou but then he turns with a smile, "But haven't you noticed that Archer has gone from being aloof to seeming to genuinely care about Rin's fate."

"Yes, I suppose that hasn't gone unnoticed. However, loyalty to his master may make him a bigger adversary than we had first anticipated, and Rin's abilities as a mage are no comparison to your own…no offense…" Saber's remark seems to have left her feeling a tinge of embarrassment.

"It's quite alright. I know that I can't compare to Tohsaka, but it doesn't mean that I can't admire her."

"In some ways you and Rin are alike," ponders Saber before adding, "You are both rash and do not think strategies entirely through. Yet, your convictions are strong and just. I will be saddened when we meet in battle; but if Archer is a noble knight then our battle shall be a worthy one."

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(Archer's POV)

Rin fell asleep. I gently set her down on the bed and pull the covers up around her before returning to the door at the balcony and making sure it's locked. I use my enhanced vision to scout the area.

I want to restore honor to my family.

She fights in this war to uphold her father's wishes. I can understand wanting to honor a parent; Kiritsugu was the man that gave me a second chance at life and a reason to live. Yet my ideals were stolen from him…just as Rin is a product of her father's ideals, what she judges to be right and wrong are based on those teachings.

Yet Rin is not blind to the ways of the world; she understands that one must preserve their very existence if there is to be change. I turn my gaze toward the sleeping girl; I wish that I had listened to you in the past…before I entered a path that you could not follow.

I shake my head; regrets are now my motivation. I never anticipated that I would be of any use to you in this war, yet I will be your obedient servant until both of our ideals become a reality.

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(Rin's POV)

The rain has fallen for the last few days now. Our only means of communication with Shirou and Saber have been through the telephone. Shirou and I have agreed that the terms of our alliance will end once we have met our mutual goal. Archer and I weren't kidding around when we decided to change tactics. Caster is our responsibility; if her focus is on me then we'll be on the defense. Saber and Shirou are better equipped to take down Assassin, but he's bound to the temple, so how much of a threat he poses is undetermined; however, if we defeat Caster then Assassin should be unable to remain without a master. Illyasviel is another problem; we can't be walking around the Einzbern grounds waiting for Berserker to seek us out. Illyasviel is unpredictable…I'm sure that she will be growing tired of waiting.

Shirou and I are both in agreement that Illyasviel will seek him out in the meantime. With Archer and myself lying low we won't be of much help, but Saber being the strongest of the classes and at full capacity shouldn't have too much of a problem.

I sigh. I wish there was an easier way of feeling; an alliance was really a poor choice on my part. I should have just stayed uninvolved and then I wouldn't feel responsible for Shirou and his inadequacies of being a mage. I suppose it makes sense though, a servant answers the call of a master similar to themselves. Shirou gets the valiant and just King Arthur and I get the impatient and sarcastic Archer with no memories…that he will speak of. I've alluded to the fact that I know that Archer is hiding his knowledge of his past; why and what for? I'm not sure, but as I promised him, I will not pry.

The rain pings off the glass of the window outside of my study and I pause from my book. I strengthened the barrier and have kept the mana compass close ever since. I do not believe that being fully prepared could be seen as any weakness as a mage; however, now that we are on the defense, holed up inside of the mansion, I'm not going to let anything go undetected.

I've been storing more prena into jewels these last few days as a means of passing the time. I'm now certain that even if we were attacked by all of the servants at once that I would have a means of slowing most of them down…although I'd rather not test that theory. Besides, Berserker in my house wouldn't adhere to my standards; I'm not even sure that he could fit through the front door, and quite frankly I'm certain that he would be a mess at tea.

Archer's taken to having special liberties; he is fortunate enough to be able to leave the house when it's convenient for him (ie: when I'm giving him a lecture). At least tomorrow is a school day; going to school may even pose as treat. Besides, I'll be interested to see if Kuzuki shows up to teach World History class now that his identity has been revealed as Caster's master. Attending his class and refusing to transfer is as if daring him to make a move in a class full of students. The rules of the grail war are very specific that we cannot expose ourselves. We'll see what his move will be.

Until then, where was I in this book? Ah yes…

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