Author's Notes: It's Christmas break and that means one month off until classes resume. Sorry that I haven't updated in so long, been one busy semester with my full time job and currently pursuing my Master's. I'll probably still find it in me to write fanfiction when I've gotten my PhD, haha. This one's dark, but I'm really satisfied.

NNN

(Rin's POV-Entire Chapter)

I can't sleep and after the third jewel shattered, I understood the extent of my injuries. This is something that prena alone cannot fix. I need my mana restored, but I don't exactly have time on my side. I know two things for certain: Emiya Shiro may quite well be dead and realistically, I have no chance of retaining my former servant. Oh, and to add to my dilemma, Lancer's master isn't going to allow me his servant's protection for much longer. Lancer doesn't strike me as being too naive, but he can't seriously think that his master is leaving him by my side to protect me. Amazing how once my mind cleared, I got over the shock of losing Archer and started to think like a mage, how things started to appear as they are—not how I want them.

I don't doubt Lancer's sincerity, but if my father taught me anything, it was that people rarely do anything without seeking some form of gratification in return; his master is now my biggest threat. It's also a known fact to the three families that the grail can choose a former master should a servant find himself free from contract due to a master's untimely demise. Although, with the current servants and their masters it's highly unlikely that I will be used again, but the threat of a knowing master remains. I need a plan, but what?

Things I know, or better yet, things I think I know: One, Lancer took care of Assassin, leaving Caster and Archer as rivals. Two, Illya and Berserker must have come after Shiro and Saber. No word has come and I can't risk sending a familiar—it would be an open invitation to anyone wanting to finish off Caster's work. I don't think that checking the hospitals would do me any good. Lastly, known servants Berserker, Saber, Lancer, Archer and Caster...but I can't rule out the figure that Archer and I encountered.

I sigh and even that hurts. I have a choice to try and live or to accept my fate. It's a good thing that I've never been any good at following the rules. Why should I start now? But how am I going to change my fate? It's not like I'm in any condition to tackle the job. With what little mana I have, it's enough to tell me the good news—three cracked ribs, a broken shoulder and a fractured wrist. Really, I should be optimistic; at least Archer didn't break my neck or my back. It doesn't matter how much I try to humor myself, the outcome is still pretty bad.

God, I had been prepared to die on that altar. Fate's a funny thing, no? Actually, I believe fate is rather twisted, to be saved from death only to be betrayed and find myself once again close to death. I can feel Lancer's presence returning to the room; his scan of the perimeter having been completed. It's in that moment that I have an idea, one that had never entered my mind. This idea was so ludicrous that it could actually work and if it were accomplished it would alter my fate.

His statement brings me back to the present.

"All's well, sleeping beauty."

I regard him; he has a nonchalant air around him and it's then that I decide that I cannot hold back. To hold back would mean that I am resigned to this fate.

"Lancer, I want you to return to your master and inform him that I understand the importance of the Grail War. He's offered me a kindness that I cannot repay; the extent of my injuries is far greater than I had first anticipated and I cannot hold you here for that length of time. Therefore, you should pursue the grail. You'll need to be ready to take on the remaining servants."

I can only hope that the darkness shrouds my facial expression and that my acting works. His eyes narrow as he regards me and I try to keep my expression neutral.

"You sound as though you are trying to get rid of me?"

On the contrary.

I shake my head to confirm my negative response. "No, I just understand the role of a master. Please return to his side. I have a good security system in place," so I lie a little.

He arches an eyebrow at me and then lets out a sigh, "If that is the wish of such a wonderful woman," he informs with a shrug, "Then who am I to argue?"

"Thank you, Lancer," I acknowledge all of his actions and watch as he disappears.

Now the real plan comes into play. I need a catalyst and not just anything will do. I have limited access to my magical circuits, mana and my healing abilities. I have a 30% success rate and I'm afraid of failure, but I think what I'm really more afraid of is not trying. I try to steady my breathing because what I am suggesting is something that I can never recover from. I place my hand over my heart and close my eyes.

Father, what should I do?

I open my eyes and I know what I have to do. I pray that logic will reward me in such an illogical time. I have no servant and I've sent Lancer with a message, hoping to entice his master to come after me. I've surely lost it, but I find a smile making its way on my lips. I'll find a catalyst, I'll make the preparations, and I won't give into fate—not yet.

Getting out of bed is going to be hellish, but it's necessary to endure pain if the ends justify the means.

NNN

I crawl on the hardwood floor; the floor boards are cool under my touch as I wipe away traces of newly formed blood from the corner of my mouth. The ends will definitely justify the means, I restate so as not to lose my nerve. I sit in amongst a pile of spell books, jewels and once disregarded magical vessels. It's as though I am a child with a limited amount of magical training, but even as a child I accomplished great things. I once saved the life of a dear friend from a wanted murderer and what kind of mage would I be if I couldn't manage to save my own life now?

I use the blood on my fingertips as the path and create the symbols necessary. I once read, "the harder the struggle, the greater the triumph", and I'm really betting on that statement to be true. I refuse to believe otherwise.

NNN

I realize that I fell asleep at some point in time. I feel stiff, my back resting against a bookcase. It's not quite dawn, but I can feel a presence making itself known. It would be rude not to get the door, of course I'm not entirely sure that I can go to it either. That's alright, everything in the room is perfectly placed. I reach for the hidden catalyst and then pause when I hear a familiar voice.

"Rin?!"

Kirei? Why is he here?

I keep the catalyst hidden and attempt to call to him when I believe him to be close enough to hear my hoarse reply. Honestly, of all the times for him to show up, why bother to now? The door to my room opens and I am about to tell him that I'm a little busy at the moment but the look on his face stops me in my tracks.

There's a look in his eyes that I cannot decipher. I feel my breath hitch as his gaze seems to penetrate my own. Kirei's smile widens as if taking pleasure from my response.

"You're still alive," he states the obvious and the idea seems to pleasure him as he enters the room.

"Of course. I'm not that easy to get rid of," I reply with my usual cockiness, but something about his gait is still off. "Did you stop by to make sure that I was still amongst the living?"

"Actually, Rin," Kirei begins and gestures with his hand to his right.

His next words fall upon deaf ears as I watch Lancer materialize at his side. My eyes widen in alarm. Kirei is Lancer's master?! H-How?! My mind is screaming at me. Kirei is a priest, meant to be an overseer of the war, not a master!

I hear his words once more and my heartbeat seems to have increased, "You must be rather surprised to discover that I am Lancer's master."

Surprised? That doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. I divert my eyes toward Lancer to judge his demeanor.

"Kirei?" I murmur.

"Yeah isn't that something?" sarcastically replies the servant, "Said he wanted to come and see you himself. You being his apprentice and all, that's why I was sent to protect you."

Protect me? Really? For a moment I am thrown into utter confusion; the master I prepared for is Kirei? Kirei, my father's apprentice, my guardian, is Lancer's master? I'm to be protected?

Kirei's words snap me back to reality, "That was true at first. It was my duty as your legal guardian to oversee that you were safe; however, Rin," he pauses and the look he fixes me with reminds me of my father's funeral—it's cold and dark, "I've grown tired of this facade. It reminds me of the one I had when Tokiomi was alive."

My eyes widen at the mention of my father. His smile widens in response as he continues.

"Tokiomi too was naïve," his words seem devoid of life, "You on the other hand, I suppose you saw what he could not; after all, you were always glaring and lecturing me about protecting your father."

My heartbeat seems like it's echoing in my ears and I feel as though I am choking as his words seem amplified,

"Tokiomi never saw the betrayal coming, even as I stabbed him in the back."

"Kirei, you had better protect my father or else!"

"Rin," her mother's scolding voice entered her ears. The little girl fixed the man with a glare as she lugged her heavy suitcase out of the room.

"I wouldn't want you to be mad at me now would I?" replied the man.

The little girl bristled, "Or else," she threatened, her eyes narrowed as she turned the corner.

"Lancer, kill her."

I look up, my eyes blurry from the silent tears, as they narrow in hatred.

"I'll never forgive you!"

"I refuse," informs Lancer with a deadly tone, "You'll have to use a command seal."

I watch as Lancer stands before me and I know that Kirei's next order will change my fate.

Kirei looks bored and I watch as the Black Keys materialize in his hand, "Very well," he fixes his servant with a serious expression, "then I order you to watch as I kill her."

My eyes widen as Kirei advances in a flash, Lancer has fallen to his knees trying to fight the command seal; however, it's as though invisible chains have taken him captive. He summons Gae Bolg but he is struggling against an invisible foe as he attempts to will the weapon to perform his bidding.

"Don't touch her, you bastard!"

I barely slide the first gem into place as the barrier shatters under Kirei's force. I quickly activate the remaining shields, but they are of no use, Kirei was an executor for the church—his skills were a great advantage for my father. The last shield between Kirei and myself drops as I reach for the hidden catalyst.

I choke, the feeling of his hand tight around my throat as he picks me up, my feet dangling a few inches from the floor. The Black Keys resting in his other hand, spiritually enhanced silver daggers, posed and ready to strike.

"Kotomine!"

I involuntarily let out a scream of pain as the daggers impale me. Kirei's madness evident on his face as he laughs maniacally at the sound of my pain.

"You son of a bitch! I'll kill you!" Lancer is struggling for my sake, he's managed to stand, a deathly blue aura surrounding him.

I can taste a great deal of blood in my mouth as my body involuntarily lurches and the red liquid escapes. I think I'm going to pass out from the pain and the blood loss, but I'm determined to see my plan through. With all of my strength, I clench the catalyst tightly in my hand and struggle to grasp Kirei's hand—the one possessing the Black Keys—my body shakes from the action and more blood escapes, Lancer's cries are drowning in the background, but when I fix Kirei with a look of satisfaction he looks alarmed.

Father...

I reveal my other hand and with every ounce of adrenaline I have, with every bit of mana I can spare, I release the prena of the catalyst and send the Azoth dagger into Kirei's hand. His grasp disappears and as I fall to the floor, grasping the hand, the newly severed hand with his command seals, my eyes widen.

"I hereby propose.

Thou shalt come under my command and they sword shalt control my fate.

Abiding by the summons of the Holy Grail if thou accede to this will and reason, answer me,"

I'm panting heavily, and the blood is growing around me, the room appears to be red, but I will finish. My eyes grow wide in terror, Kirei's still alive, the blood gushing from the mangled limb as he slowly rises to his feet. He looks inhuman and I feel myself gaping in horror.

"I hereby swear,

I am all that is good in the eternal world.

I am the disposer of evil in the eternal world.

Thee, the seven days clad in the Divine Trinity.

Come forth from the circle of constraint. Guardian of the Heavens!

Accede to me and my fate shalt become thy sword!"

"I accept this pact under the name of Lancer. I accept this wonderful woman as my master."

I sit there impaled upon the floor, my vision blurred, red liquid sprays me, yet it's not mine. Kirei's form hits the floor with a sickening thud.

I'm going into shock, but I concentrate on the command seals on my left hand. I drop Kirei's severed hand, unaware that I had been holding it the entire time and watch as it falls to the floor. The entire thing is so surreal, if I had it in me, I might even laugh.

I'm tired, father. But I feel content, I finally was able to do something for you.

Lancer kneels before me and laces his fingers through mine, grasping the hand that has just received the command seals, "Don't die," he looks so sincere, his gaze fixated on me. I feel mana coursing through my body, trying to dull the pain. I'll pass out when he pulls the daggers from my torso.

"I won't," I murmur. I couldn't imagine a greater pain than what I had already been exposed to, but when he pulled the daggers my world went black.

NNN

I don't want to open my eyes, the light is bright and intrusive. Yet as my memory returns I open them, blinking a few times and am rewarded to find Lancer sitting next to me. His back resting against the bookcase, his fingers intertwined with mine. I look up and regard his tired expression; he's been supplying me with mana for hours, I judge by the sun's light pouring into the room.

"You're alive?"

I don't have it in me to be a wise ass, "Yeah."

"You stopped breathing at one point," he informs me with a toothy grin, "Want to know how I saved you?"

I feel my face flush in response.

"I just gave you some more mana and got your heart started."

Mana, of course...I suddenly feel very stupid.

He chuckles, "No, if I were going to take advantage of you, I'd wait until you were awake."

I'm not sure if that's supposed to make me feel better.

"I hope you know, I wasn't a part of Kirei's plans. I believed that bastard when he said he wanted to protect you," he sounds remorseful, "Although I'm not sure why considering how he betrayed Bazett. She was my original master."

I understand now, Kirei wasn't chosen as a master, he appointed himself as one.

Neither one of us is going anywhere; Lancer's supplied me with such a great deal of mana that he's pretty worn out, and me, well I don't need to start in on my current health.

"Will you tell me about her?" I want to know everything about this servant that I have now come to call my own.

I watch as he closes his eyes and tells the tale of his summoning, "I answered her almost immediately because she genuinely wanted to summon me. I've never met anyone with such pure intent. She trusted Kirei and that trust resulted in the loss of her arm, her command seals and she was left to die. I had been forced to follow Kotomine's orders, and I abandoned her against my will. You allowed me to avenge her death and I will be forever grateful."

"I can't take much credit. I'm really no better than Kirei when it comes to how I obtained you."

"Your fight was with honor; you were avenging your father. It was an honorable victory," Lancer states his feelings and then smirks, "But did you have to come so close to death? I thought I had just saved you and then you go and pull that stunt."

"I'll try to stick around," I remark before looking at the form marring my carpet, "You didn't take care of him?!"

Lancer scoffs, "I was a little busy saving your life. Besides, he'd be good for target practice. Hang him up outside, let him scare off anyone who gets the idea of attacking us."

Father, looks like I've saddled myself with yet another sadistic servant. Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way.

NNN

Please review!