Disclaimer: I do not own any of this.

Starring Leo Valdez and Piper McLean

"NO!" Leo howled. "C'mon, seriously! This is stupid!"

Piper, who happened to be wandering past the cabin, poked her head in. "Is everything alright?" she asked.

Leo sighed and turned to face her. "No," he replied. He showed her his computer screen. "McAwesome just got bitten by a zombie and has less than 50% health. I have no choice but to kill him."

Piper stared at him. "Seriously?" she asked.

"I'm dead serious. This is horrible! He was my right-hand man."

She stared at him a while longer, then slowly eased her way beside him. "What game is this?" she asked.

"Organ Trail," Leo replied, and pressed the refresh button, bringing him back to the beginning of the game. He handed the laptop over to Piper so that she could read what scrolled on the screen.

"Organ Trail," she read aloud. "You may: one, travel the road; two, learn more about the road; three, see the survivor top ten; four, resume saved game."

"Just press one," Leo told her. She did.

"Many kinds of people find themselves on the road," she continued. "One, be a cop from Kentucky. Two, be a clerk from New Jersey. Three, be a lawyer from Miami."

"So this is basically levels," said Leo. "Cop is easy, clerk is medium, and lawyer is hard. I play as a lawyer."

Piper played as a cop.

"What is the name of your wagon leader?" she read. "Piper, obviously." She typed this in.

"Now you need four more names," said Leo.

She thought about it, and then decided, "I'll choose… Percy, Annabeth, Hazel and Jason."

"I feel left out," Leo commented, crossing his arms and pouting. Piper rolled her eyes and replaced Percy with Leo.

The game started.

The end of the world… and a crudely drawn zombie apocalypse.

"You are in the ruins of Washington DC," Piper read. "You must decide when you shall flee the city."

"Go for the middle of the day," Leo told her. "Zombies aren't as much out during the day as at night."

She heeded his advice, and her station wagon reached Pittsburgh without anyone dying.

"This music is depressing," she decided, and turned off the volume. She came to a screen that listed her options.

"Continue on road, buy, trade, kill member of group…" she read. "Hey, Leo, would you like to die?"

"No," he replied pointedly. "I'm 100% health and unbitten. Why should you?"

"For one thing, you're annoying."

"Am not."

"You only believe that because no one has the heart to tell you. Wait…" She paused. "We do. You just don't listen."

They continued on the road, except a horde of zombies blocked their path.

"Uh oh," said Piper. "What do I do?"

"Hmm," thought Leo. "They're small. I bet you could fight 'em off."

"But I've never fought zombies before!" Piper cried.

"The programing does the fighting," Leo explained. "Just click option two."

She did this and the team came out unscathed.

"Good," said Leo. "Now continue to the next town."

She did, and all was well, until Hazel got bitten by a zombie.

"Should I put her down?" Piper mused as if it were an interesting concept, hovering her finger over the number six on Leo's laptop.

"Nah," said Leo. "She's only bitten, not an actual zombie. She'll be fine as long as she doesn't get low on health."

"But I'm out of food. And everyone has less than 50% health."

"Then you are a horrible cop."

Piper innocently pressed the six button and then pressed one. "Oh, look," she said. "Jason just shot you in the head." She exited the game by clicking on the home page icon. "Speaking of zombies, I wanna show you a website I found the other day," she told him, scrolling into the Google search bar and typing in MAP OF THE DEAD.

"What is this?" Leo asked once they were on the page.

"It's a zombie apocalypse map," she replied. She pointed at the screen. "The red areas are where zombies will most likely be."

"Well, it looks like New York is screwed," said Leo, gesturing the huge crimson area. "But Canada isn't too bad. I say we get Frank to take us there if this ever happens."

"Plus, this is much more helpful than that stupid game of yours, because it tells you where you can find shelter, food, water, and gas," said Piper smugly. "All you do in Organ Trail is shoot zombies with horrible graphics."

Leo narrowed his eyes mischievously. "That sounds like a challenge to me," he said.

"Oh, I had all the intention to make it sound like one."

"Okay, then," he said, taking back his laptop. (Technically demigods weren't supposed to use technology, but let's get serious for a moment—no teenager can withdraw from the Internet for more than three days. It's a scientifically proven fact.) "How's this?"

"Don't shoot the puppy?" Piper asked with raised eyebrows. "Leo, you're not even trying."

"Fine," he said. "Get to level twenty and you win the challenge."

Piper scrolled the icon onto START, and a puppy appeared on the screen, walking off to the left. "That's it?" she asked. "I just don't click on anything and the gun doesn't fire? This is easy—"

She scrolled the mouse to the right and the gun fired, killing the puppy.

"Well, that isn't fair, I didn't know any move shoots the bullet," she said.

"Well, you do now," Leo replied. "Pretty cool, huh."

Piper frowned, but a mischievous smile crept up her face. "I'll show you who's pretty cool," she said. She grabbed the laptop and turned it away from Leo so that he couldn't see what she was doing onscreen. After a minute or so, she turned back. "Type my name into Google search," she instructed.

He did.

Did You Mean The Coolest Person Ever?

"What?" Leo asked. "That can't be possible." He typed in his own name.

Did You Mean Totally Not as Awesome as Piper?

Piper started laughing at Leo's confusion. "It's a site that does this," she told him. "I type in my name then the fake search I want to show up, then do the same thing for your name. Don't worry, it can only be seen on your computer."

"You know, I could just hack into Google myself and do that manually."

She shrugged. "Not everyone has the capacity to be as subtle as me, Leo." She flipped her hair over her shoulder in a fashion she had seen Drew do, exaggerating the flourish on purpose. "I'm just awesome like that."

"Sure," Leo admitted. "But not as awesome as this." He began to type.

"Most awesome thing ever," Piper read. "Seriously, Leo?"

"Deadly," he said. Two things appeared on the screen.

THING ONE:

Smiley face

THING TWO:

Glee

"Obviously the smiley face," Piper said, clicking on the option. Leo feigned a gasp.

"What!?" he shrieked really high-pitched like Octavian, and Piper stifled a laugh. "You are not a Gleek?" He held out his hand at her. "You have been officially shunned."

Piper rolled her eyes and scrolled down the screen to the list of ten most awesome things ever. "Valdez," she laughed. "I would have you know that the Internet is currently beating Life as the most awesome thing ever."

He snorted. "Because obviously if there was no Internet I wouldn't be able to read my daily news," he said.

Piper raised an eyebrow. "Why not use the newspaper?" she asked. Leo turned to her, mildly confused.

"What's that?" he asked seriously.

She shrugged. "I dunno. My dad made a reference to it once or twice a few years ago. Ooh! I have it!" She clicked on a new tab and typed in 'Sharknado'.

"What the heck is a sharknado?" Leo asked as the search loaded. "Is it like a shark and a tornado mixed into one?"

"That's exactly what it is," Piper told him, grinning.

"Stop it, Pipes, that isn't poss—oh my freaking gods, they made a movie about it!"

"If you saw the trailer you still wouldn't understand," Piper told him, clicking on the YouTube link. "I mean, that's totally fake!" she started after halfway through the video. "Who on earth would think up such a horrible idea—?"

"Gods I want to see this movie so bad," Leo interrupted.

"Just think about how cheesy the acting is and stupid the plot," she said. "Don't even get me started on costumes, music, and props." She stopped, horrified. "Oh my gods where will they get the sharks? They're going to die!"

The trailer ended. "Well, Piper, I think this is our last round," said Leo.

"Why?" she asked.

"I need to see this movie. And also because I want to go to bed."

She shrugged. "Fair enough. Now find something so that I can win."

He raised an eyebrow inquiringly. "Don't you mean I win?"

"That's what I said. I. As in 'I, Piper, am totally winning.'"

Leo just typed in a few words into YouTube and handed her the laptop. "First link," he instructed, and she clicked on it.

A cheesy song began to play.

"Set fire to your hair…" And a little blue man running down the road with half his head on fire. Piper gasped, holding her hands to her face.

"What on earth..." she murmured.

"Poke a stick at a grizzly bear…" the song continued. "Eat medicine that's out of date, use your private parts as piranha bait…"

Leo laughed at Piper's horrified expression. But the best part had yet to come.

"Dumb ways to die!" the four dead characters sang. "So many dumb ways to die! Dumb ways to di-i-ie, so many dumb ways to die…"

"Leo Insert-Middle-Name-Here Valdez!" she shouted. "What on earth am I watching?"

"Dumb ways to die," he replied easily.

"I can see that," she replied, closing the lid down on the laptop.

Leo rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "How I see it is that we're at equal crossroads," he said. "There's only one other way to settle this peacefully." He pumped his fist in the air. "EBAY WARS!"

Piper face-palmed. "Really?" she asked.

"Yeah," said Leo, already on the website. "We both sell one thing that has to be crazy on the crazy stage, and the first one to get a buyer wins."

"Isn't that illegal?" Piper asked.

"Well, yeah, but do you know how many illegal things we did while cruising on the Argo II?" Leo handed her the laptop. "You go first."

Piper sighed and typed in the first thing that came to her head. "Kidneys?" Leo read.

"Two of them," she explained, pointing to the little blurb of information on screen.

Leo thought about it. "I guess it works," he said. "But I'm still winning because my product is real." He took a moment to type it in.

"Pou~Pourri," Piper began to read. "A way to mask bathroom odors anywhere you go." She thought the name was familiar. "Is this the one with the YouTube commercial with the British lady in that blue dress who makes you unsure of whether or not this is a real product?"

"Exactly," he said.

Ding! He had a buyer.

"Looks like I win," he said nonchalantly, rubbing it in.

Piper scoffed. "Maybe at Internet wars, but in the demigod world you'd be dead by now."

"That sounds like a challenge," Leo noticed.

Piper grinned. "I had all the intention for it to be," she replied.

And with that the two demigods raced outside.

OH, GODS, I SHIP THESE TWO SO HARD.

Anyway, I know this chapter has almost nothing to do with kidneys, but I had TONS of fun writing this. So I don't care!

And, yes, all these sites or Google searches or YouTube videos are real. Even Pou~Pourri.

Organ Trail
Map of the Dead
Don't Shoot the Puppy
Google Did You Mean
Most Awesome Thing Ever
Sharknado
Dumb Ways to Die

-o-O-o-

Because you guys hate me for my writer's block, I'm gonna give out a few HoH spoilers. You guys are gonna love this (unless you hate spoilers, period, and thus should skip this).

Number one, Rick posted some pictures on his twitter of places the Argo II will go. There are so far four places. I can guarantee two of them, the other two still remain a mystery. So, spoiler alert, the Argo II is going to Bologna (expect some jokes from Leo about this) and Venice!

Second thing, I just finished watching a video where Rick reads a part of HoH... And not the first chapter! It's right in the middle of the book, with Annabeth and Percy, and neither is faring well. Find it... IF YOU CAN...

-o-O-o-

REVIEW!