Set Fire to the Bleeding Moon
Summary: Darkness was their night. Darkness was their day. And Darkness was the light that blew them away.
Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, and sadly do not own any one of her fabulously fabricated characters, plot, and world.
Chapter 3: So Terribly Alive
Who knows what the future will bring
or what future we'll grasp?
All we can hope, is that what will come, will come
Not in black, or in white, and or even grey
But in colour
The next morning, Sirius did not come down to breakfast. Remus looked at James inquiringly. James shook his head.
"Don't know Moony. When I tried to wake him he told me to fuck off…"
Sirius Black did not show up for his first period Transfiguration class that day.
James, Remus, and Peter looked at each other suggestively. They waggled their eyebrows and knowingly portrayed a look that said definitely hung-over. But they assumed that he would stumble his way into their second period Charms class with Professor Flitwick. Charms was one of his favorite classes after all.
Sirius Black did not show up for his second period Charms class.
James, Remus, and Peter looked at each other questioningly. They raised their eyebrows, as if to say must be some hangover. But they firmly believed that Sirius would show up for lunch. They were certain that the ravenous seventeen year old would crawl, drag, or roll himself into the Great Hall. In all of Sirius' years at Hogwarts, he had never missed lunch, ever. It was, in his opinion, the most important meal of the day (although he did proclaim that at dinner as well). Nevertheless, Sirius Black was not known to miss a meal and as such, the rest of the Marauders were certain that he would turn up.
Sirius Black did not show up for lunch.
James, Remus, and Peter's jaws dropped. They waited and waited, making snide comments about Sirius' antics. They joked and imitated his drunken walk from the Hogwarts Kitchens to the Gryffindor Tower. But as lunch dragged on with no sign of Sirius, the three best friends wondered what had happened to him. Remus asked James if Sirius seemed ill. James claimed that he didn't think so. James asked if Sirius had a girl in his bed with him. Remus said that he wouldn't put it past Sirius. The two shared a dry smile. Oh Sirius.They decided to go up to check on their fourth member; only the lunch bell had rung and they begrudgingly went to their third period. Surely, Sirius wouldn't skip that as well, they told themselves.
Sirius Black did not show up for his third period Ancient Runes class.
James, Remus, and Peter rushed to hassle Lily Evans about Sirius' attendance in Runes since neither of them took the course. Lily shook her head. The three-quarter Marauders looked at each other in concern. Sirius Black had never slept in this late before. James Potter decided that he would go up to check on Sirius and to kick his lazy arse out of bed. However, they spotted Filch from the corridors and knew that they would land in detention quicker than you could say Mrs. Norris if they were caught outside of class. The four boys reluctantly parted their ways and headed towards their next period.
Sirius Black did not show up for his fourth period Potions class.
James and Remus (Peter didn't make it into NEWT Potions) looked at each other worriedly. James was sure that Sirius was in the bed that morning (as he had roughly told him to 'piss off' when James tried to wake him). As such, he couldn't possibly be passed out in some unused broom closet. The only logical conclusion was that Sirius had taken ill somehow, although Remus pointed out that Sirius had been fine the night before. James stared at Remus exasperatedly. Remus massaged his temples. Sirius couldn't possibly still be sleeping, could he?
Sirius Black did not show up for dinner.
James, Remus, and Peter were now seriously anxious. It was unlike Sirius to miss any meal of the day, so it was incomprehensible how he could miss all three meals if he was not seriously, seriously sick. The three boys wolfed down their food and then rushed up the stairs (expertly dodging the naughty moving staircases), burst through the portrait hall (ignoring the Fat Lady's cries of protest), and raced to their room. Just as they were about to explode into the dorm, Remus slowed them down.
"We wouldn't want to startle him if he's feeling ill," he said.
The boys agreed, took a second to calm down, before listening at the door for signs of Sirius. They were hoping to hear either snoring, extremely loud and off-tune singing, or extremely loud and (for the boys) awkward moaning and panting. Any of the above would suggest that Sirius was alive and well, and that they could barge into the room and berate him.
What they heard was something that they were not expecting. They heard a female voice. It was soft, gentle, ethereal. It was unique. None of the boys could assign a name to the heavenly voice. It wasn't fiery and confident like that of Lily Evans. It wasn't sharp and blunt like that of Marlene McKinnon. Nor was it bubbly and sweet like that of Andrea Thomas. The Marauders had never heard it before.
And what they heard after that was something even more foreign. A laugh, Sirius' laugh. But it was a variation that rarely graced the earth. It was far softer and much more genuine than what the three boys were used to hearing. James and Remus let out a simultaneous smile. They were glad that Sirius had let his guard down. They knew that Sirius had adopted a player façade in order to protect his beaten down heart. They had heard all too often the shallow laugh that Sirius often let out when he was with his usual 'flings'. It was too long since they had heard Sirius genuinely laugh, they decided.
"You guys look awfully funny crouching behind your own door like that," Nathan Ross, a sixth year, said. "What exactly are you doing?"
James looked at Ross embarrassedly. "Er-" he stammered.
Nathan cocked an eyebrow.
"Padfoot has a bird in there," James burst out.
Nathan let out a roar of laughter. "Of course. I should've known. Well, good luck to you fellas then, I hear Black has quite the stamina," he joked as he walked away, shaking his head as he left.
"That's it. I'm not being kicked out of my own room!" James declared as he opened the door. Remus and Peter lingered behind.
Sirius and 'the girl' sat on the carpeted floor, chatting intimately. They sat cross-legged, leaning close together. Beside them lay two half-drunken bottles of butterbeer and a half-eaten plate of house elf cookies. The atmosphere was warm, like a cup of hot chocolate on a freezing winter night. And for the first time, James swore that Sirius was in love, and he was glad to see that the girl beside Sirius had the exact same expression in her eyes. His heart warmed significantly. It was a special feeling, watching your brother in all but blood find such happiness, especially after such a troubling summer. He smiled.
"Ahem," Remus coughed from behind James' frame. "Sirius?"
Sirius looked up in surprise. Joy radiated from every fiber of his being. "Moony! You're looking good today! Prongs, Lily would be crazy not to fall for you! And of course Peter, your hair is fantastic slicked back like that! Isn't it such a glorious day? Alethea, let's go out and take a walk by the lake. Wouldn't it feel amazing to have the sun beat down on our backs and-"
"Padfoot, it's eight o'clock at night you idiot! We've been worried sick about you! First you don't show up to breakfast, then none of your classes! Do you know the horrible scenarios rushing through my mind? I thought that you were devilishly sick! You didn't even go down for lunch or dinner! At that point I was ready to call Madame Pomfrey on you!" Remus exclaimed, his hands waving in exasperation.
A small laugh cut him off. The four boys all turned to the origin. Alethea Winters, having realized that all eyes were on her looked away in embarrassment. The five stood in awkward silence for a while. Finally, it was Peter that spoke first.
"You're the girl in the carriage! The one that Sirius was fawning over!"
Immediately, Sirius extended a hand and covered Peter's mouth. He vehemently told Peter to shut up. Peter obliged at once.
"Why I suppose I am," Alethea replied, chuckling. "Hi, I'm Alethea, Alethea Winters."
"You new here?" James asked. "I've never seen you around,"
"No, I've been here since First Year. I'm just quiet, that's all,"
James looked severely taken aback and his cheeks immediately turned a bright tomato red. He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. Behind him, Remus signed, Peter snickered, and Sirius smirked.
"Oh, sorry. It's uh- it's just that I've never seen you around before and-"
"Don't sweat it," Alethea said, cutting him off with a small smile. "It's not like anyone else notices me either," she finished in a soft voice.
The four boys didn't know what to do at that point. They, being the popular Marauders that they were didn't know what it felt like to be completely disregarded. Although Remus had been bullied and ridiculed as a child, he had never known what it would feel like if the other children in his neighbourhood had ignored him completely. Sirius couldn't imagine how it would feel if his parents were to have treated him as if he wasn't there. And James felt an odd sense of sorrow when he pictured Lily turning a blind eye towards him instead of snapping back at his attempts to ask her out. None of them understood the hurt of being cast aside, for the true opposite of love is not hate but rather cold indifference. None of them could fathom the frustration of numbness, the tragedy of loneliness, and the emptiness of apathy.
Except for Peter Pettigrew that is. He was the fourth member of the Marauders and perhaps the one that no one quite felt belonged. He was silver in the eyes of many, not deserving of being in a group of golden boys. He was constantly in the shadow of everyone. People didn't appreciate his work ethic and intelligence like they did with Remus, people didn't admire his humour and talent for Quidditch like they did with James, and people didn't lust after his ability to sweet talk ladies and natural charm like they did with Sirius. He was just there, nothing more and nothing less. Peter observed everything in silence. He was mediocre at everything. When people asked who Peter was, the response was often blank. Peter was the sidekick, the small person lingering in the shadows. And he knew what indifference felt like. And he knew how it hurt.
But the difference between Peter and Alethea was significant. Alethea became a wallflower on purpose. She disappeared into the shadows to avoid being burned by the blazing sun. She faded into the ashes, longing for company but never being brave enough to step out and seek it. She never got a chance to bask in sunlight, to relish in its warmth. All she felt was its burn and she never wanted to feel it again.
Peter, on the other hand, was a wallflower by nature. He was pushed into the background despite all attempts to move forward. He was like the people in the back of a concert, struggling to squeeze forward but never making it past the middle. He saw the sunlight radiating on his friends faces every day. He saw James score goal after goal in every Quidditch match. He saw Remus ace exam after exam. He saw Sirius charm girl after girl. Watching the warm caress of the sun filled Peter with stone, hard envy. He had never felt its burn and as such only lusted after its touch.
And so, Alethea, although felt empty with the loneliness, accepted it. She depended on the comfort of the darkness. She craved the protective shield of the shadows.
But Peter wanted the light and the glory.
He wanted to walk on the sun
To swim in gold
And to soar in triumph
And he was willing to do anything:
Dance with the devil
Play with fire
And burn.
Peter didn't care, as long as he could break out of the cage surrounding him. He wanted to be great, to achieve greatness, to have greatness thrust upon him. But some people were simply not meant to conquer, but rather to wither away into the shadows until all they disappear into nothingness.
But Peter could not accept this. He would not accept failure. And for him, like so many others, ambition would be his downfall.
And he would not go down alone.
But at the same time, a small voice in his mind reminded him of his friends. He knew that if he wanted the trophy he had to break free from the shadows of his three best friends. He knew that as long as he was part of the Marauders, he would never stand out. But he also remembered the pact they made to never abandon one another, to never betray one another, to be there for one another always. He also remembered their humour and their kindness. And then he was torn. Torn between his loyalty towards his friends and torn between his debilitating thirst for recognition. He feared how far his thirst would drive him. They say that a man can survive without food for weeks, but Peter wasn't starving, he was dying of thirst. And no man can survive without water for more than a few days.
It turns out that Sirius and Alethea had both waken up at about twelve in the afternoon. They bumped into each other in the common room and decided to ditch the rest of the day. Alethea got Moppy to bring them some refreshments and they spent the rest of the day talking. They were completely enraptured with each other.
After the boys hit Sirius on the head a few times, they called it a truce and James firmly declared a party. Sirius immediately agreed, climbed onto one of the beds and passionately declared for some firewhiskey and crisps.
Remus shook his head and Alethea laughed at Sirius' antics.
And that was how the four Marauders and Alethea, ended up sitting in a circle around the floor, encircled by a vast array of snacks courtesy of the House Elves.
"So… How'd you guys meet?" James asked, flashing Sirius a sly smirk.
"Well, I had a nightmare one night and decided to go down to the Kitchens and get some food. Much to my dismay, I saw Sirius here nursing a bottle of muggle vodka," Alethea replied. "He insisted that I join him and I reluctantly agreed,"
Sirius looked mortally offended. "You reluctantly agreed? Oh no, no, no my dear Alethea, you agreed wholeheartedly!" Sirius exclaimed, dramatically waving his arms around. "I am the Great Sirius Black! And all mortals would jump at the chance to dine with this sex god," Sirius finished triumphantly, running his arms around his torso.
"Well, then I guess I'm no mere mortal then am I? For I, Alethea Winters am a Goddess! Oh yes, all men wish to feast with the Charming, the Beautiful, the Fabulous Alethea Winters!" Alethea countered with a flourish. She stood up, and outstretched her arms seductively before bursting out in laughter and collapsing on the bed behind her.
The other boys joined in and soon enough all five of them were reduced to little more than fits of laughter.
"And I! The Funny, the Brave, the Marvellous, the Sexy, the Charming, the-" James started before Sirius cut him off with a laugh.
"Prongs mate, I think you've got a wee bit too many adjectives there,"
Everyone exploded with enormous fits of laughter. Sirius actually rolled onto his back, Remus doubled over and started pounding the floor, Peter clung onto the bedpost, and James stared incredulously but ended up joining anyways.
And Alethea? Alethea felt warmer and more whole than she had ever felt in her entire life. The sheer joy and love radiated off of the boys. Their smiles were contagious, their laughter infectious. At that point, there wasn't a trace of hurt, or anger, or envy. It was pure happiness, and Alethea loved it. She drank in as much of that moment as she could, for she knew all too well that such moments must be treasured. She laughed along with them, not because the joke was particularly humorous, not because the expression on the boys' faces was particularly funny, but rather because the atmosphere called for laughter. They say that some people cried when they saw other people cry. Alethea laughed when she saw other people laugh. And when she saw the laughter bursting out uncontrollably from the mouths of the only people who had accepted her in years, she could not help herself but join in full force.
It was safe to say that none of the people in that room had felt so inexplicably happy, so free from their demons, so utterly and terribly alive in a very long time. Even
And it would be a long time until they felt the same way again.
A.N: Thanks for reading Chapter 3 guys! ^^ Shoot me a review if you feel up to it. Have a great day! Until next time,
xxx LordessV