"The President of the United States Announces Decision Regarding Norway; Ultimatum Delivered

"In a statement to the press late yesterday, the President announced that the capital of Norway, Oslo, will be bombed early next week unless the citizens of Oslo surrender.

"This reporter regards it as amazing that the people of Oslo have managed to keep their city free this long.

"At the same conference, the President said, 'The people of Norway should regard the U.S. as a force for good. After all, the U.S. intends to do away with the monarchy, socialism, and whaling once Norway becomes the fifty-first state in the Union.' He added that this ultimatum was delivered as a response to the bombing of Pearly Harbor last week.

"The citizens of Norway have not yet given their response."

-The New York Times

Author Unknown

3 March, 2056