In half a second, Charlie was on her feet and racing towards him. Even she wasn't sure what she was going to do when she reached him.
He was staring at her with the strangest expression she had ever seen grace his features as she came to a halt right in front of him. There were a thousand things she wanted to say to him. Some would have sounded like declarations of love. Others would have sounded like declarations of war.
"You left me."
"I didn't want to."
"We left you there, in the street." She didn't know why it felt important to tell him that, but it did.
"I'm not there, I'm here, with you."
"I miss you."
It was then that her voice cracked. Because she did miss him, so much that she couldn't breathe. When had that happened? When had Sebastian Monroe become one of the people she didn't think she could go on without?
Monroe pulled her to him as the first tear fell. Normally she'd be mortified at the amount of crying she had done lately. But right now she was feeling nothing but pain and want. For him. Her arms locked around his back as he held her against his chest.
"It's not fair." She whispered brokenly.
"I know," he muttered into her hair. "But I'm here, I'm with you and I'm always going to be."
"But you're not. You're not with me you're just gone, like everyone else and I can't - I don't - I can't do it again. I'm going crazy. I'm tired of losing everyone who matters to me. I just wanna close my eyes and join you all." It was easy, she found, to blurt out all the things in her mind to dream-Monroe. He'd been in like a zillion dreams of hers before and there hadn't been much talking at all in them, so this was new.
"I know, Charlie, trust me I get it. It never gets easier, losing people. It's about the only thing in this world that doesn't get any easier no matter how many times it happens. But you have to be strong, you have to try to keep going and the pain will eventually recede enough to let you move on." His voice was low and comforting, yet she tightened her grip on him.
"I don't want to move on." She disagreed stubbornly. "I want you to come back. There are things I need to tell you and now I can't ever do that."
"Tell me now."
She gave a laugh totally devoid of humor. "It's not the same."
"Why?"
"Because you're not real! You're just a dream and when I wake up you'll be gone again."
"What if I'm not? Gone, I mean. What if I'm still with you and can hear you? Would you tell me then?" There was an edge to his tone, one that confused her. But it was overshadowed by the memory of hearing his voice, twice, hours after he had died. Clearly, she had lost it. She knew it was her grief making her hear things that weren't there but still... he had a point.
"Where are we?" He asked, "I don't know this place."
"Home." Charlie responded in a small tone of voice. "This is where I lived with my dad and Maggie, before..." The sentence trailed off into nothing, they both knew why she had left her home behind.
"Do you miss it?" His hand was rubbing soothingly up and down her arm.
Charlie could feel herself disconnecting, she could smell him he was so real, but the scene around them was fading. "I think I'm waking up. I don't want to go."
"It's okay. I'll be here when you sleep again Charlotte, I promise."
She didn't know why she believed the earnest way he said it, but she did.
As he started to pull away from her she looked up at him. He gave her a blinding smile and her heart jumped.
"Just in case." She muttered just before her lips found his in what was supposed to be a gentle kiss. She had dreamed about kissing him, and doing much more, many times before. But this one felt different. The knowledge that it was never going to happen for real lent a kind of desperation to it.
Suddenly their hands were everywhere, bodies molding together. Just as his mouth broke from hers to find her throat, she sat bolt upright, breathing hard.
It took her a few seconds to realize she had woken up. The moment she did her heart stopped beating wildly and sank in her chest.
Back in reality, she saw the mood in camp hadn't changed. Miles had finally fallen asleep beside her, his arm draped across her legs.
The guy on watch nodded her direction, a look of sympathy on his face. He probably thought she'd been having a nightmare about Monroe. Shame swept her then and she felt disgusting. The man wasn't even cold yet and she was having arousing dreams about him. Right next to Miles as well! She was disgusted with herself. Flinching away from her uncle, she quickly got up and exited the camp as fast as her legs would carry her.
Once she was away she broke into a run. Sprinting away from the desolate scene she had woken up to. And she didn't stop until she'd reached the river and couldn't go any further.
Panting, she fell to her knees, too tired to even cry. Unaware of the man right in front of her, watching with intensity in his eyes.
"I'm sorry." She said quietly, after a long few moments. "I'm sorry. For so many things. I'm sorry you had to die. I'm sorry we left you there, I didn't want to... I'm sorry that I slept with Connor. I thought - I believed that it would make my feelings for you go away.
I hated you so much for so long... And then you saved me when I was more afraid than I've ever been.
And you kept on saving me and forcing me to see beyond the man I first met. When I thought you were going to die, before, I didn't understand why I felt so desperate. Then I thought the Patriots killed you, I didn't know why I felt so bad, I was supposed to hate you.
But after you found Connor everything changed again. It hurt. I tried to pretend that I didn't care that you were pulling away from me, but I did. And then that night, by the train, when you saved me again, I knew the man I thought I saw in you was real. But I didn't have the guts to admit how I felt. I still don't know exactly what I feel. And you went and died on me so I'm never gonna know.
You make me feel so many things all at once sometimes I think I'll burst. Nobody gets under my skin the way you do. Did. I had a dream about you last night, you told me I could move on. But I don't think I can. I'll never meet anybody like you again and anyone I do meet will only ever stand out to me because they're not you. It's all my fault. You got distracted and I know it's cause you were checking on me. You were always checking on me and it got you killed and I'm so sorry."
Charlie's voice broke, her words finally trailing off. Every single one had caused her pain but she needed to get them out before they ate away at her insides.
"Charlie?"
Her head snapped up. Aaron was right behind her and she hadn't even noticed him there.
"What are you doing out here? Everyone will be worried about you."
Charlie cleared her throat, wiping harshly at her eyes. "Just had to get away. You heard me talking to myself?"
He knelt down beside her. "The army guy on watch told me you left camp so I followed. And it sounded to me like it was Monroe you were talking to."
"Aaron, I-"
"Hey," he held his hands up in a gesture of peace, "I'm not judging you. Monroe wasn't such bad a guy. Sometimes. And I know things were different with you and him than they were with him and well - everyone else."
Off her confused look he added, "Miles wouldn't have trusted him with a pet rabbit yet he always trusted him with you. Even when he was being a dick, we always worried a little bit less about you if you were with him, because we knew he'd look after you. Your mom knew too, that's why she saved him from that lethal injection."
As Charlie opened her mouth to reply she realized she couldn't form one. Aaron seemed to sense this. "Look, all I'm saying is it's okay to be upset that he's gone. You shouldn't feel guilty for mourning him, you guys had a different relationship. It's okay to grieve him. You obviously cared about each other."
The words meant more to her than she could ever explain. So when the tears returned she let them. When he wrapped his arms around her she let him. Instead of fighting against it, she gave in and hugged him back.
Charlie loved Aaron. Fiercely, in a way that was weirdly needy and protective at the same time. He had done what very few of her actual family had ever done for her - signed on to be there, for her, no matter what. And he'd never let her down. Even when she knew he was terrified, hurting, being tormented by the technology he had helped create. He'd always somehow managed to be concerned about her, and to let it show. Theirs was the purest relationship in her life - mainly because he refused to give up on her, even when she tried to pull away. A hug from Aaron was usually the one thing that provided the feeling of safe, familial love that no one left alive could do for her.
But for the first time, she could draw no comfort from him. What she needed, or maybe just wanted - but that was the same thing right now anyway - was to be back in Monroe's arms. She'd only managed to hold onto him once, as he died in her arms, in all the time she'd known him. But that hug, in her dream... Even though it wasn't real, Charlie could still feel the warmth of him around her if she focused her thoughts hard enough. And that kiss... she had no clue where her subconscious had pulled that kiss from. She had never been kissed like that in her life. Of all the dreams she had ever had about Monroe, that last one was better than all the rest put together. It had felt so real.
But she didn't even imagine for a second that it had been. So as she pulled herself together and let Aaron help her up, she was distinctly unaware of Monroe's pain filled eyes following her every step.
He felt like he was going to explode. Why was this happening to him? He could still feel her against him, fitting perfectly snug into him, as he had always suspected she would. Charlie obviously didn't hate him as much as she once did and always found a way to defend him - against her mom, against the people who came and went through their group and insisted on treating him like a monster, even Miles once or twice; Charlie was always there, with a disparaging remark or an out and out threat of extreme violence. Up until today that had been enough for him, just knowing that the beautiful young woman he'd become half-obsessed with at least had his back. But her reaction to his death and the admittance he'd just heard from her own mouth... Feelings for him he'd never expected her to be capable of..
As he trailed behind Charlie and Aaron, he vowed silently that he would be there, with her. Whether she could see him or not. And when she was asleep, well... he would be spending every dreaming moment with her. It was far more than he deserved and far less than he really wanted.
But he would take what he could get.
Bradbury...
The people stood in a circle, surrounding a body that was lying on a table in the middle of the dark room.
"Is he gone?"
"No. A human coma it would seem."
"But we need him! He's the vessel!"
"Yes, but until his conscious mind wakes he is useless to us."
A dark haired man stood in the corner of the room, watching them all with a calculating gaze. "Can't you just take him over now? It would be easier than trying to trick him into it."
"It would be easier yes, but he could wake up at any moment and eject us. Far safer to manipulate his mind and gain permanent control."
The dark haired man shifted on his feet, looking suddenly worried. "Is it working with the others?"
"Yes, rate of success is very encouraging. Unfortunately we are almost out of time, those of our brothers and sisters still without a permanent host are dying as we speak. You must go find more volunteers."
The man gave a swift nod and turned to leave. When he was halfway out of the room, he turned back. "What about the Mathesons? They might come looking for him. Shall we finish them off when they get here?"
"No. The Mathesons are still vital to our plans, leave them."
The man nodded and walked away, leaving the no-longer-human creatures to turn back to the curly-haired man lying on the table.