Chapter Ten

The weather was quite cool and a bit rainy when he returned home last night. Tired and anxious, he cuddled himself on the sofa, before realising his mouth went dry and he hasn't have anything since the morning. Ste sighed and got up to put kettle on. He'd slipped some biscuits into his bag, when he'd been in the Deli.

He left Brendan alone in this hospital to deal with the bruised Joel. What was he even thinking? He should've stayed there and helped him. Anyhow. To do what exactly? He'd be precisely useless there, as the man he loves, gavered strength to get over the accident. He left them alone - that's what Brendan wanted- he did exactly as he wanted. He isn't supposed to feel that way then; Brendan made himself pretty clear yesterday, so why he can't stop thinking what if... Those scratches. He was so vulnerable. Just a shadow. No stop. If Brendan doesn't want him there then he's got his reasons.

He looked at the little doll, forgotten in the far corner of the room, in front of the tely.

Kids.

They have gone.

Lost them.

It's been a month.

Why mentioning the broken little pieces of used to be filled jar?

Rain poured outside and tapped against the windows of the living room. It was nearly the midnight. Ste had just finished making the tea when there was a knock on the door.
He crossed the room and opened it to reveal his almost lover.

"Brendan"

Brendan emerged, looking exhausted, hair and shoulders wet.

"Are you alright?"

I met his eyes and he blinked them in an knackered way, lids heavy and slow. "What do you think?"

"I think you've been worried sick and been awake for 40 hours, you're not being yourself."

Nothing in response.

Brendan turned and walked to the window, looking out.

"Possibly, but I can manage."

"Are you hungry?"

"What? No." Brendan said offhandedly. He turned around but didn't move an inch.

"Brendan?"

Still nothing.

I went to him, afraid that he could just fall and grabbed his arm, leading him to the shower.

It took half an hour to make him stand still, while the water was washing away all the marks of his mind state. His body was tensed though, practically denying all my efforts to go any further with my task as his eyes were shut, and merely he was falling asleep.

At last his hair and body was dried with the towel and I led him to the bedroom.

"Steven..I need to tel.. you something..wa-"

"Oh just shut up and go to sleep. You barely can think."

"I-well, I..."

Brendan fell into the pillows.

"Just do."

I had already sat down beside him and grabbed my phone. I ignore him for a while, resisting temptation to look over and see if he had fallen asleep again. The room felt silent, as I was going through some messages.

I had nearly forgotten about Brendan. Looking over, he changed his early position. He was leaning toward me, our shoulders slightly touching. The smell of his cologne and aftershave gave me shivers. I missed those daily attributes in my life, missed his constant presence, but it's been just three days, four in total, and I already missed him. As if part of me soul gone missing.

He was entirely too close. He was warm and his eyes were drowsy.

I did want to leave the message, so Leanne could cover me shift 'morrow, but felt a sudden pressure. Brendan's temple settled on me shoulder. He was curled against my side, hands pressed to the chest and his head resting comfortably on my shoulder. A light smile touched my lips, as his hot breath was on my neck.

His body was warm and relaxed against me and just looking at him made me gave in to sleep. I send the message and switched off the phone, laying it on the bedside table. Brendan shivered a bit and I pulled down the blanket and tossed it over his body. He snuggled into it and in the process, snuggled further into me. Brendan was breathing slowly and deep. As I listened to his steady breaths, the more I was finding my eyes close. I tugged my fingers in his hair and lost myself in sleep.

Treading the thin line between consciousness and dreaming, Steven leans into the hand now rubbing slow and soft circles across the back of Brendan's head. Brendan kisses affectionately his long eyelashes and runs a thumb down Steven's too sensitive neckline, before closing his eyes again. It was almost the dawn. Complete silence, where he only has to feel the so much dear to him person. Something firm, light and good wells inside Brendan's chest and his arm tightens just a fraction around Steven's waist. Always with him. Just as it's meant to be. This is where he's supposed to be. With his Steven. He could hear him murmuring something, as his warm and careful fingers never leaving his hair. He wants to seal this moment, so they could never part, just stay in it for eternity.

"I love you."

Steven's heart skipping a beat and his breath catching at those too familiar and so important words. They've always meant something more. For them it wasn't just three words. They were rare and by saying them - they show their utter devotion towards each other; their utmost love and care. Those words mean everything they could give to each other. Their fates are sealed just as their hearts.

Brendan sighs out a slow, contented breath across Ste's shirt, eyes firmly closed, and presses closer into his touch.

Ste's fingertips go downwards, tracing over the bare chest. His other hand covers the thin wrist over his hipbone, and strokes the smooth skin there.

Brendan's still waiting patiently for his response, as he peers down at the man in his arms. Steven's quite for so long time that Brendan begins to wonder whether he fell asleep or not. But then he shifts, tilting his head up a bit, and he could feel Steven's steady breath on his lips, as he pulling him closer and finally kissing him.

"I love you too." Steven's breathless, as he feels the welcoming desire of sleep pulls him over the edge. His entire frame free of tension, and his body relaxed and smooth. Brendan's throat feels very dry, something in his stomach and chest feels so tight. At last he moves, leaning in down. His eyes are closed as he presses his lips to the Steven's neck, inhaling the scent of his body, whispering something, that only the wind will hear.