He stared blankly at the two people who sat in front of him and wondered why they were trying to keep him alive.
Well, technically, they, all three of them, were the same person, and he supposed that might be the reason.
But since they were all the same person, why could they not understand his desire to die?
"Lukas? Lukas, snap out of it!"
The sharp voice of the man on his left brought him back to the present. The man wore red and black, and had messy hair. His name was Sigmund.
"I don't want this life anymore."
"That is not an answer you can give me."
"But I just did. You forget that I may do as I please; it is my body."
"You have said that you don't want it anymore."
Lukas made a disgusted sound. "That is not what I said, Sigmund. Stop putting words in my mouth. Besides, you'd rather see me dead, wouldn't you?"
The man on his right, who wore green and was named Erik, spoke up. "If you die, we all die."
Lukas continues speaking to Sigmund. (Whatever, Erik was about as helpful as a dead cat. Less, actually, as you couldn't use him for vulture hunting.) "But if that wasn't so, if you could kill me without killing yourself, you would, wouldn't you? You would not hesitate a second."
Sigmund pursed his lips. "I admit that, were circumstances different, I would try to kill you, and I would succeed. However, circumstances are as they are and I may not. Therefore, I will protect you with every ounce of my being. After all, as much as we may hate each other, we do share a body."
"I am looking at you right now. You are no longer in my head," Lukas pointed out.
"Your subconscious is making you hallucinate us, so that your conscious will not think that you are going crazy."
"Obviously, I have."
"Well, yes. But let's change the subject, shall we? Name a time when you were happy. Truly happy."
"2009. I won Eurovision."
"Really? Interesting…"
"When did you become a therapist, Sigmund? I thought your hobbies included cutting people up and drawing pretty pictures with their blood."
"Oh, please, it's not as if you never did that. In fact, that's where I got it from. But anyway, name another happy memory."
Lukas sighed. "The first Viking raid."
"Ah, yes…"
Lukas glared. He was actually quite good at it, having spent centuries perfectly his glare.
Sigmund continued. "What about 1945? Were you happy then?"
"Why should I have been? I had to rebuild, recover, and that is a difficult thing to do, bed-ridden as I was. You know this."
"You can't lie to me! I was there. I know how you felt when he was kneeling at your feet! I know how you considered killing him, and the manner in which you would have done it. I know the power that flowed through your veins- our veins."
The mere mention of that event- his enemy for five long years, kneeling at his feet, begging for forgiveness and mercy -made his blood boil. Power raced through his veins, gathering at his fingertips in an effort to be released.
Sigmund continued in a low voice. ""You knew that his blood would have been powerful. His kind always is. You could have conquered all who wronged you with that power. You could have had the world, and there would have been no one to stop you."
Lukas nodded. He was not actually paying attention to Sigmund; rather, he was thinking that the power at his fingertips was more than enough to kill Sigmund.
"Imagine, Lukas! If we survive this, you can have America kneeling at our feet. You could be his executioner, and with his blood, you could rule the world. That is why you must hang on."
That brought Lukas back to the present. America's blood would be far more powerful that Germany's.
Erik put a hand on Lukas's shoulder. "You're bleeding."
"Does it matter? I want to abandon this life anyway." He still did. His heart ached too intensely for him to want to continue living.
"After all I have promised you? Even now that you know what we can do together! You have betrayed yourself, Lukas!"
"And in doing so, I have saved the world from your tyranny. Is that not a fair trade, Siggy?"
"Do not call me that!"
"What are you going to do? You are weak, Siggy. You know what I think? I think that you don't have the courage to die."
"How can you say that? I have stared death in the face more times than you can count."
"Not your own death. My death and the death of humans, but never your own. I have faced my own death, and I have laughed at it. I am not afraid to die. Now if you'll excuse me," Lukas hissed as he stood, "I'd like to be alone when I do this."
Erik jumped up. "You're bleeding, Lukas."
"I am aware of that."
Sigmund made a disgusted sound and vanished.
"Sit. Down."
Lukas did so, not out of fear, but because he had no choice on the matter.
Erik unbuttoned his shirt and removed that soaked bandage. "It's infected."
"Well, I was planning to go to Helheim as is, so…"
"You will be reborn. You must know that." He pulled out a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some clean cloth. "This will hurt."
Lukas gritted his teeth as Erik began. The cool alcohol felt good against the fevered flesh surrounding the wound, but not so good in the wound itself. "I know that."
"Then why let yourself die? Why not survive, as you always have?"
"I see no other way out."
"There is always a way out."
"Is there?"
"You have survived this long."
Lukas looked away. "I do not understand you. Or Sigmund, for that matter."
"You should. We share memories."
"Yet I don't." He paused, wincing as Erik was a bit too rough in his cleaning. "Can you explain him to me? Why does he hate me?"
"He doesn't hate you. He hates it when you are weak. His purpose, at least in part, is to protect you. His job is easier when you are strong."
"How does he protect me?"
"He keeps you from delving too deeply into things you cannot handle. Blood magic, for instance. That is a dangerous thing to play with. But also, so long as you had him locked away in the back of your mind, you had conquered something. You are a conqueror, Lukas, and being conquered did not suit you. He's trying to keep you sane."
"It didn't really work."
"He cares about you."
"We share a body. Other than that, there is no basis for a friendship."
"It's true nonetheless. It is important to him that you remain strong and unbroken."
"Because that means that he is strong and unbroken."
"He is not quite as selfish as you think."
"Explain, then."
"I will not. But I would like to explain my purpose."
"I was wondering about that. Sigmund acts the way I used to, before his creation. But you…I have never acted like you."
"I am something that you wish you could be. Actually, though, I'd like to discuss this man." An image appeared in Lukas's mind.
Denmark.
He flinched. "I do not wish to discuss this man."
"You have feelings for him."
"He betrayed me."
"I'm not hearing you say no."
"I hate him."
"You cannot lie to me."
"I am not lying."
Erik smiled. "Stop lying tome, Lukas. I think this man may be your salvation, though I do not know how."
"My desire to strangle him will keep me alive."
"Perhaps." Erik seemed doubtful. "Anyway, keep him in your thoughts. He is important." He pulled out a fresh bandage and applied it to Lukas's wound. "There is another reason to hang onto this life. You have children."
"Most of them will have nothing to do with me."
"That will change." He sighed. "We will not see each other again, I think. Take care of yourself."
He stood and walked away.
Lukas wondered if he really was going crazy. Probably.
