I looked around to see nothing but darkness and flowing smoke on the ground. "Where am I?" I said quietly to myself. A slap in the back of my head caused me to turn around but nobody was there except a few lifeless bodies. I ran over to them crying. All the ones I loved the most were dead: Andy, My brother, Kenzie and my mother. What was I to do now? There next to me was a sharp, long knife; I knew what I had to do to be with my loved ones. "You did this to them Rebecca. You should just kill yourself while the knife is still there." A voice rang through my head. "I would never do this to them. I LOVED THEM." I screamed through my sobs to the voice. "Yes, you did this. Why you did it, is beyond my knowledge." The voice was calm but stern. I lifted the blade to my neck and sliced through the skin. I screamed in pain as I felt my life line shredding to pieces; as the darkness consumed me I layed back onto Andy's lifeless body. "Becca, Becca wake up! Please wake up!" was all I heard faintly in the background as I drifted out of consciousness.

I woke up to Andy shaking my body. "Jesus, what happened?" I looked into his terrified blue eyes and the tears brimming around them. All I could do was hug him. "Andy, I don't want to talk about this, please don't make me talk about it." I looked into his eyes as tears fell from mine. "Shh, you don't have to talk if you don't want to." His voice was shaky but comforting. He comforted me until I fell back asleep. A few hours later I felt the tent shaking and someone's annoying voice waking me up. "C'mon you guys can't stay in there forever. I made breakfast, get your asses up!" I figured it was Ashley so I yelled at him when I got out of my tent with Andy. "Why the fuck did you wake us up Ashley?" I was going to be in a bad mood all day because of that stupid dream. "I didn't wake you guy's up." he said while shoveling scrambled eggs into mouth. "Who did?" "Ryley did." Vic said from across the circle of people. I walked calmly over to Ryley and whispered in his ear. "Wake me up again and I will make it my personal mission to rip your balls off and make you choke on them." I stepped back and smiled at him. The look on his face was pure fear; he knew I would make him pay for it if he ever woke me up again. I made myself a cup of coffee and took 3 sausage links. I hated eggs ever since I was little and I surely got strange looks for not taking but everybody knew to stay away from me today. I sat down between Andy and Mike and ate my food in silence. "Hey, when you're done Vic and I are going for a walk and you're coming with us." Mike whispered in my ear, I just nodded not bothering to look at him. I felt like I had a permanent rain cloud above me today, threatening to down pour at any second. I got up to throw my paper plate and Dixie cup away. I sat back down only to be picked up by my legs and arms by Mike and Vic. "We're stealing your girlfriend for a couple hours." They said to Andy who just smiled and nodded. I squirmed around so they would let me go but to no avail I threw my arms up in defeat until I remembered that Vic was ticklish and since he was holding my legs I knew I would really hurt my face. He had my legs around his waist and I started to move my feet right around his hips and, to my success, he dropped my legs and fell to the ground in a fit of laughter. Mike lets my arms go and I started singing 'Face Down' by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. I was dancing around like an idiot before I helped the giggly Mexican up off the ground and brushed off all the dirt on his back. The boys started to walk towards the lake we normally went to but I kept walking along the path my family had made a long time ago that lead to a beautiful river. "Where are we going?" they both asked me. I didn't answer them but they still followed me until they heard the flowing water. "Here, we're going here." I said smiling. "This place is beautiful." Vic said in amazement. This place really was; all of the beautiful flowers, once in a while a deer would come by or even a little rabbit. "I know, I used to come out here every day during the summer and just write songs or poems. This place is so inspirational and pretty." I looked around at everything. This was the place where I would come to swim or just to clear my head; if I wasn't home or at Kenzie's, I was here. I would take my quad out here and relax. "You write?" Mike said looking confused. "Yea, nothing I write is really great, I mean, compared to you guys at least." I said in a little shy voice. "You should let us read it sometime; I bet you're really good." Vic said as he put a loving hand on my shoulder. I sat down on the soft grass and took my shoes off and dipped my feet in the cool water. I wasn't really listening to what the boys were talking about; I did what I do when I'm at the dentist, play music in my head. I don't know how I do it but it works out well. "Becca, what's wrong?" Mike asked snapping me out of my musical trance. "I don't know. Nothing, I guess." I said not looking at either boy because if I did I would probably break down. "Tell us. It's not like we're going to tell anyone. We're here to listen." Vic said glaring at me like he was trying to read my mind or burn a hole through it. "Fine, I guess you guys are right. I had a really bad dream last night and.. I don't know I guess it freaked me out. I just really don't want to talk about it though." I was about to break when Mike handed me the joint he had just lit; perfect timing Mike. I took a long hit from it and held it for as long as I could. I took my feet out of the icy water because I could no longer feel them but I didn't really care. "You what the worst part is about my nightmare, Andy and I were in the middle of.. uhh.. something and it wasn't his fault but I broke down in front of him. I know I should be comfortable around him but I hate crying in front of anybody." I could feel the familiar sting of salt tears pouring out of my eyes but it wasn't all because of sadness, it was out of frustration. "I hate crying in front of people too, it must be a human reaction thing." Vic said while rubbing my back. "Can you guys walk me back to my house? I really just want to be by myself for a little while. It's easier to get their by the main road." I said quietly. I really just needed some time to relax by myself; no distractions just me. "Of course, just show us the way and we'll tell everyone to leave you alone when we get back to the campsite." Mike said squeezing my hand. Vic shot him a glare that I just barely caught out of the corner of my eye but I knew it was saying 'Hands off' I gave Mike a small smile before he let go of my hand. walking made calming myself down so much easier and knowing I was going home for a few hours was good enough to calm my breathing. Finally we got back to my house, being here always made me feel safe and I needed to be safe for now. "All you guys have to do is follow the path; it leads right to the campsite. Just tell everyone I went home for a little while and that I'll be back in like 3 hours. Thank you, you guys are the best." I said before hugging them and sending them on their way. I unlocked my door with the spare key that we hid under a fake rock and stepped in. I looked around making sure my mom hadn't come home yet and as soon as I knew I was alone I went to my room and found an old razor I had tapped up my desk. I had never used it the way everyone would think if they found it; it just came in handy when I had to scrape stickers off my window. I picked it up and stared at it; I never had suicidal thoughts, I never wanted to do that to my family. I had nothing against people who did self- harm because I can't judge someone by their actions, I don't know what goes on in their lives but I know nothing in life is ever handed to you that you can't handle, maybe that's just my thinking. I put the sharp object down and got up to find my favorite candle; I only lit it when I was in a bad mood. I finally found it behind my dresser; I don't know how it got there but my room was kinda messy. I lit the candle, grabbed my spare pack of cigs and plopped down on my bed. I breathed in the smooth smoke and closed my eyes before exhaling. I didn't have my phone, my cigs or anything really important for that matter; I didn't really care either. I kept my eyes closed while I lightly rested. I grabbed my old IPod from my nightstand drawer and went through it seeing all of my old music; it was amazing how much I've changed, musically. I put my cigarette out before drifting into my subconscious. I woke up and it was starting to get dark so I figured I would have to go now or I'd never be able to see. I grabbed a zip up out of my closet and ran out of the room and house locking the door before going into my garage. I checked the gas in my quad and put another couple gallons in. I backed it out and zoomed up the trails until I got close enough to hear the voices of my friends. I slowed down a bit and pulled up to everyone, "Hey Becca, how you feeling'?" Tony said as he walked up to me. "I'm fine, I guess." I said trying to force a smile. I turned the quad off and quickly walked over to Andy and sat on his lap; curling up into him in the process. He kissed the top of my head and said "You feel better now? I know you don't want to talk about it but we are all here for you and we were really worried about you. We love you so much; especially Me." he said it with such smoothness and comfort but it was still kind of cocky, maybe that's why I loved him. Andy was just a mix of things that I adored. I knew all of my friends were here for me but I don't want others to feel like they need to worry about me all of the time; I know they are just looking out for me because they are older than me but I'm old enough to take care of myself. I felt like everyone was ganging up on me but only with the best intentions so I grabbed my phone, plugged my headphones in and blasted my music. I got up and filled my up with ice, cola and lots of SoCo. If I was going to enjoy being around everyone right now then I need some liquid encouragement. I sat back down next to Andy and pulled out my headphones from the jack on my phone. I had considerably calmed down and relaxed. Jake started cracking funny jokes about me not being able to ride my quad. "Scott, would you like to inform Jake on how bad I whooped your ass in the race we had last week?" I said smirking. My brother just shook his head and laughed. "Dude, she'll run your ass over if you don't watch what you say." He said warning Jake of my temper. Everyone burst out laughing at Jake's scared expression. "How many quads do you guys have?" Ashley asked with an excited glint in his eyes. He was like a little kid on Christmas. "We only have two, I don't let anyone touch mine so you need to suck up to Scott to use his or beg Kenzie to use hers." I said laughing. Everyone we knew had a quad or dirt bike so we all always went riding together. Ashley looked at Scott who shook his head with a straight face then he looked to Kenzie with a pleading look. She glared at him before speaking. "You can use my dirt bike, there is no way I am letting you touch my baby." She said with a serious look. "I'll take it." He said with a big smile and. sparkle in his dark brown eyes. Well, I guess we're all going riding when we get back. It was getting really late, or early, and I was tired I could see that everyone else was too. Kenzie, Vic, Tony and Jinxx had slipped away to their respective tents. I was yawning profusely but I wanted to stay up until I finished my drink at least. I looked into my plastic cup and saw it was half full, the ice had melted and it was covered in condensation. I contemplated just pouring it out but I decided to down it in one shot. Everyone that was still up looked at me like a I was crazy when I set my empty cup down on the table. I said my goodnights to everyone and kissed Andy before going to my tent. I left the tent slightly unzipped and I could hear Andy, Mike, Jake, CC, Ashley and Jaime talking about my little outburst and bad mood today. "Guys we really just need to give her space, the dreams she's having are freaking her out and she doesn't want to talk to anyone about them. We might as well respect that. I'm sure when she's ready she'll tell us." Jaime said trying to get the guys to back off of me. I expected Andy to say that but I digress. "She can't just let her dreams eat away at her forever, I just wish she would trust me enough to talk to me about them." Andy sighed. I felt really bad that I wasn't really talking to him and I blew off our romantic day but I really just needed to be by myself for a few hours. "Maybe we should have Sammi come out here when we get back to her house tomorrow; she would know how to handle this better than we would." Jake suggested. I hadn't met Sammi but I always hear Jinxx talking about and she seems nice. "Yeah, let's do that because fussing over her is making my head hurt. I love her and all but there is only so much caring I can do in one night." Ashley said while yawning. "Yeah, I'll tell Jinxx to call her tomorrow and we go from there, for now let's get some sleep. Night guys." Andy said. I could hear him getting closer to the tent so I turned around so I wasn't facing the opening to the tent and pretended to be asleep. I felt the air mattress shift when Andy laid on it. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him and whispered in my ear, still thinking I was asleep. "You are my fallen angel." And with that he kissed my cheek and fell asleep. I was wide awake now. I'm his fallen angel? I thought to myself what the hell he could've meant by that but I guess it was cute none the less. I let the thought fall from my mind and cuddled closer to Andy and drifted to a much needed, comforting sleep.