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Chapter 18

Advice

The first thing he noticed was the heat. It choked the air itself, making it difficult to breathe. The next observation was that he was not sweating. Not at all. At last he noticed the dancing flames, the roar they made, and the black smoke that darkened his surroundings. From all around him he could hear the terrified voices of his friends.

"Aang!"

"Aang help!"

"Help us!"

"We need you, Aang!"

"Aang! Aang!"

Aang awoke with a strangled shout as he sat up in bed. A cold sweat covered his body as he checked the time. Not quite midnight. He threw off his blanket and sat on the side of his bed, shaking from either the dream, the cool air on his moistened skin, or both. He wiped the sweat from his brow and moved towards his dresser. After quickly pulling on a pair of jeans and a dirty hoody off of his floor, Aang left the confines of the building and escaped into the cold winter night.

Christmas had come and gone without much attention this year. Due to the attack on the Fallen Angel's recreational center, no one much felt the spirit of the season. It was not that they did not want to celebrate so much as it just did not feel right with all that was going on. The new year had just begun and it was already not turning out as Aang had hoped.

He started to run. He needed to clear his mind. All he had been doing since the meeting was worry. It was not as though he had any reason to be concerned though. It was just the most dangerous man in the city and a virtual army of gangs that he and his friends were being asked to stop. Without help. No reason to worry at all.

Aang had no idea how long or far he ran. He simply did his best to focus on his breathing as Gyatso had taught him many years ago. It was not until he saw the sign of The Jasmine Dragon a few blocks down the road that he even had any idea where he was. Part of his mind wondered if Zuko was awake. Another wondered about Iroh. Before he realized it, he was at the door of the tea shop peering inside. To his surprise he could just make out a few people sitting in the darkness of the dining area. The kitchen light was on as well. Without thinking he ran around tot he back of the building and knocked on the kitchen's rear entrance.

"Just a moment," an unfamiliar voice answered. As the door began to open, Aang was greeted by a tall elderly man with long white hair and a matching beard. "I'm afraid the shop is closed for the evening."

"I know," Aang replied as he pulled down his hood. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I would really like to talk to Iroh."

"You must be Aang," the man said. "I am sorry I've yet to meet you. I am Roku, Zuko and Azula's grandfather."

"On their mother's side, right?" Aang smiled as he shook the man's hand. "Zuko mentioned you were here."

"I apologize for not having been present at the meeting, but I had other business to attend to."

"Meeting? You mean you too?"

"Indeed," Roku smiled. "And I sense that meeting is the source of your turmoil."

"Is it that obvious?" Aang slouched as Roku guided him inside.

"My young friend, I would be concerned if you were not troubled," Roku answered kindly as they entered the dining area.

At this point, Aang was not surprised to see the younger members of the White Lotus sitting at the table he had noticed earlier. They each regarded him with a smile or nod and Yangchen pulled a chair down from a neighboring table for him to sit and join them. Aang sat in silence amongst them for a while before his head drooped tot he table with a quiet "thud."

"I don't know what to do," he eventually confessed. "We've got a plan. Sort of. I don't like the chances though. And the stakes are too high if we lose."

"What, may I ask, is the plan?" Roku asked.

"Ideally? Zuko taking on his father in front of all the gangs." Roku gave a a solemn nod of understanding. "Everyone thinks it should be me though. I don't know what to do! I've never faced off with a sociopath with homicidal tendencies! But I don't want to risk my friends' lives just because I'm afraid to risk my own. I don't even know if I could win if I did fight him. Why were we even chosen anyway? Isn't there someone else you guys could ask?"

Roku nodded once again. He stared at Aang long and hard before lacing his fingers together and leaning forward.

"The two of you were chosen at Iroh's discretion," Roku explained. "You see, my boy, Iroh was my apprentice many years ago. I selected him because he has an incredible gift of insight. Truth be told, he himself most likely does not know why it has to be the two of you. Only that it is what must be."

"Well that's comforting."

"May I give you my advice?" Aang nodded appreciatively. "Whatever choice you make, follow through with complete conviction. A decision not acted upon is not a decision at all. Let there be no question in your mind or doubt in your heart. Be decisive and follow through wholeheartedly."

"Okay," Aang began. "Let's say I do fight Ozai. What am I supposed to do to stop him?"

"I believe there is only one recourse," Kyoshi spoke up. "One way to ensure his reign of terror is ended permanently."

"You want me to kill him?" Aang almost shouted.

"It is the best choice," Kyoshi answered coldly. "He must be brought to justice."

"And you say it like it's nothing! Have you ever killed anyone?"

"Yes." Kyoshi's lack of hesitation in that answer chilled Aang's bones. "I once did battle with a man named Chin. His passion lied in explosives and using them to end lives of anyone he thought beneath him. When I managed to catch up to him he had set a series of charges to demolish a building. We fought until the timer ran down. I was able to escape our battle before the blast, though he did not."

"Then you didn't kill him," Aang said "Not really. He was caught up in his own explosion."

"A matter of perspective," Kyoshi dismissed. "Had Chin managed to escape, I would have fought with him until he lay dead at my feet. There are those who do not value the lives of others and use them as their playthings. They are a cancer to this world and sometimes the only choice one has is to stop them. Sometimes it is necessary to end one life to save others in the name of justice."

The look on Aang's face spoke volumes of his disapproval. The idea of ever taking a life was so utterly unacceptable to him that he could not help but feel some contempt towards Kyoshi. There was nothing to justify taking a life. Nothing.

"I'm not gonna lie to you,"Kuruk began. "Next to you, I'm the youngest person here. I don't have the experience these guys do, but there is one thing I know. You have something great in you. I can see it in your eyes. I can tell you one other thing too. Passivity is the enemy off all great people.

"I met a man named Koh about three years back. A dangerous, vile, wicked man that I could have stopped had I only chosen to take responsibility. Instead, I lost my wife to that madman. When good people do nothing in the presence of wickedness and evil, that's evil enough in itself. Aang, you have to take an active role in shaping the world around you. At least then, even if the out come isn't what you hoped for, you'll know you did all you could."

With mixed feelings of understanding and apprehension, Aang nodded at Kuruk's words. It was true that he felt he had to do this to protect his friends, but it still did not change what they were all asking him to do. To take a life.

"Gyatso always says that all life, no matter how big, small, good, or evil is sacred. That no one has the right to take something so precious away."

Everyone at the table was silent. They each glanced each other before their eyes inevitably fell once again on Aang. This time Yangchen offered her wisdom.

"Aang, you are a kind and loving soul," she told him. "It truly pains me to see you in this horrible situation. However, I believe you must do this for the good of all the people in this city."

"But Gyatso says that this isn't all there is. That nothing ends in death. He says that we have to detach ourselves from this world to find the truth. To find enlightenment."

Aang was struggling now. Grasping at any straw, any flimsy reason to get a different response from these people. Some answer that did not end in death.

"I don't believe that can ever be possible for you, even if you really did wish it," Yangchen said. "Your heart is so filled with love for your friends and family that I doubt you could ever detach yourself from them. Please, Aang. The well being of your friends and this very city need you to make this sacrifice for the good of all."

Aang did not know what to do. He had come here hoping for advice to calm the storm that plagued his mind, body, and soul. That same storm was now a hurricane raging through him, ripping and tearing at his very being. Silently he rose to his feet and ran for the back door. He did not hear the calls of the people behind him as he tried to run from the darkness of the future that loomed over him.

Sleep was no longer a concern for Aang. He simply did not get any. It was not until he had class with Mr. Brandt that he began to feel the full effect of the previous night. His body ached from the late runs that he had not stretched for. His mind was muggy and foggy from the lack of sleep, or rather the fear of his subconscious. He did not even hear Mr. Brandt's dismissal. Only when Mr. Brandt sat on Aang's desk and tapped him did the young man become aware of his surroundings again.

"Anything you want to tell me, Aang?" he smiled supportively.

"Yes," Aang yawned. "But I can't."

"Something to do with the engagement?"

"No," Aang groaned as his head hit the top of the desk. "Mr. Brandt, if something bad, like really really bad, was going to happen, and the only way to stop it was to do something just as bad, what would you do?"

Mr. Brandt stared at Aang long and hard, much in the same way that Roku had. The look in his eyes was far older than what Aang had seen before. It was as if there was something in them that was just . . . more. Aang felt that the next words to come from this man would be the answer. Maybe not to his question, but the answer to a mystery so immeasurably old that no one alive could remember the question.

"Aang, I can understand if you don't want to tell me something or if you can't. That's okay. I want you to listen to me very closely right now. There is absolutely no situation in this world that you can not overcome while still being true to who you are. No answer you can't find without losing yourself. Do you understand that?"

Aang nodded meekly. For one fleeting moment he had though he might get an answer, but it just ended up being teacher motivational stuff. It was not that he was not appreciative. It was just not helpful in this situation. At all.

"Thanks, Mr. Brandt," Aang answered despondently. "I don't think I'm gonna be in class the next few days. Things I have to take care of. Important things, you know?"

"I understand," Mr. Brandt replied. "I have something I want to give you."

Mr. Brandt hastily returned to his own desk. After pulling out and sifting through three of the drawers, he clutched something in his hand victoriously and smiled. He then returned to Aang's said and placed a small, very plain medallion in his hand.

"What is it?" Aang wondered aloud.

"Keep it with you. I have no doubt that it will serve you well when you need it to," was all Mr. Brant said.