ALEX

"Izzie, let me explain." Alex said as his soft brown eyes desperately searched her face, trying to find the right words to make things better.

She was stood in front of him with her arms folded against her chest and she shivered as the chilly night wind whipped across her, blowing her hair slightly across her face. She put her hand up to brush it away and Alex could tell she had been crying. Making him feel terrible. He hated that he was solely to blame for that this time. Damn Avery and Yang. It was all their fault, if they hadn't been winding him up then this would never have happened. To them his love life was just one big joke, but what they hadn't realized was that this time, he actually liked Izzie, he felt something for her that he had never felt before in his life. When he was with her he felt happy and almost as though he was right where he belonged.

But Alex knew he couldn't really blame his friends for how he had screwed things up. Until now he had just been a man whore, who slept with women whenever he wanted and made no effort to spare their feelings when he was done. And rather than admit to Jackson how he really felt this time around, like with Lexie the day before when she had yelled at him, it had just been easier to simply play the part of 'evil spawn' than to make any attempt to defend himself and risk losing face.

Alex swallowed as he continued to look at Izzie stood in front of him. She didn't say anything, her eyes were cold and vacant as she glared at him through her tear stained eye lashes. He went to touch her arm, but she immediately flinched and stepped away from him as he said. "I'm sorry. You weren't supposed to hear that, okay."

"Yeah, you don't say. Hmmm… let me see. I wasn't supposed to hear you bragging about how you'd won a bet to sleep with me. I can't think why, but that might have just screwed up your chances of actually sleeping with me somewhat!…" She said fiercely as she continued to glare at him.

"I, wasn't….It, wasn't like that…" He protested, pausing, as he felt his insides churning with anxiety as he struggled to explain. Her beautiful big eyes were looking at him with a kind of sadness now, quickly turning to one of slight disgust. He thought back to how just the day before, she had been looking at him like he was the only man in the world, like he really mattered. Now he was worried that she would never look at him like that again.

"What they were saying, it was nothing to do with me…" He said stopping again, as he saw a single tear slide down her perfectly sculpted cheek bone and he said gently. "Izzie, I never meant to hurt you.."

"You didn't." She replied sharply. "Don't flatter yourself, Alex. I'm crying because I'm going through a tough time. Yeah, I admit I thought you were good looking and I had fun with you, I let my guard down when I should have realized you were just using me. But, right now I have bigger things to worry about. My child is sick, really sick and you have no idea what that feels like. You don't have kids and probably never will. Because it's clear you only care about yourself, so good luck ever finding anyone dumb enough to actually have kids with you…" She stopped and bit her trembling lower lip as she turned to walk away from him.

"Izzie…" He said again, his eyes pleading with her as he tried to stop her, grabbing her arm.

She shook him off as she said coldly. "You couldn't even have the decency to stop by last night to say you were leaving. You just took off after you'd gotten what you wanted. A 'cheap' make out session to brag to your friends about."

He opened his mouth to protest again, 'making out' with her had been anything but cheap to him. But she quickly held up her hand cutting him off, as she said. "This thing, or whatever it actually was between us, Alex. It's over. You can move on to your next victim. Oh and let me guess you're planning on selling all of this to some cheap gossip magazine, so I'll save you the bother. From now on I'll be requesting Dr Robbins takes over as Sarah's doctor. At least that way I can be sure I'll have someone solely focused on the job in hand, with no secret desires to get in to my underwear as some game.."

If Alex hadn't felt so terrible he would have laughed, as he watched her strut away and back in the hospital. She clearly had no idea about Robbins. Arizona might be a damn fine doctor, but she was human after all. And with someone as visually stunning as Izzie there was no way the thought of some sexy time with her wouldn't have crossed Arizona's mind once or twice. A thought that Alex tried to shake off as he brought both his hands up to his face and exhaled dramatically in to them as he looked at the wide empty space she'd left behind, as the bitter winds continued to blow around him.

Later that evening Alex was sat alone in his favourite spot at the bar across from the hospital, staring down at his beer miserably.

He had wanted to chase after Izzie earlier after she had walked away from him, but he had seen little point. She had seemed pretty adamant that she had made up her mind up about him. She had written him off as a total douche, just like every other woman he'd slept with. Except he didn't care about them and he hadn't even slept with Izzie. That was something that would probably never happen now he thought remorsefully.

He took a long swig of his beer, hoping that sooner or later the alcohol would numb the pain. Maybe just to the point where he could pick up a random chick, take her home and screw her brains out. That was what he usually did when he had stuff on his mind. Except, he knew that this time he couldn't do that. Because this time he'd just be thinking of Izzie the whole time. He simply couldn't get the hurt look on her face, out of his head. He'd made plenty of woman cry over the years, but usually it didn't bother him, it just irritated him, and rather than even attempt to make things right he'd just move on, he didn't care. He'd presumed he had just shut the door to his emotions after witnessing everything he had over the course of his turbulent childhood. But in the last week Alex had realized that he had behaved that way for the simple reason that he just hadn't met anyone he cared about enough to get serious with enough to care.

But that was all irrelevant now, seeing as Izzie now thought he was scum. He could understand her being angry and upset. But how could she think he was the kind of guy that would sell his story about her to some lousy magazine? Surely she would realize he would never stoop that low. He wondered what she would say to Robbins and he thought back to the lecture Arizona had given him the night before. She had told him he was playing with fire. To sleep with the parent of a patient was immoral and could jeopardise his career, he'd already had one huge lapse in judgement when it came to Sarah Stevens, he couldn't afford to make another. Arizona had then told him that he had to put a stop to it. If he wanted sex that badly, she would rather he slept with another intern than such a high profile patient's mother. Alex had known he should have gone straight home and Izzie had thought he had, when really he had stopped by Sarah's room before he had left for the night. But Izzie had been fast asleep. He had wanted to go and move her to put a blanket around her, but she had looked so peaceful he hadn't wanted to disturb her. He'd then been so busy all day, that when he'd finally managed to stop by Sarah's room on the only brief chance that he'd had. He saw there was another woman sat in with Izzie and Sarah and he'd bottled it and not gone in. Now he really wished he had, maybe that way he wouldn't have bumped in to Jackson and he would be having fun with Izzie now. Rather than sat on his own drowning his sorrows.

"Hey, drinking alone?" Alex heard a familiar voice say and he looked up to see his friends George and Meredith suddenly stood at the bar next to him. He breathed a silent sigh of relief. If it had been Jackson and Cristina he really didn't know if he would have been responsible for his actions. Out of the five of them from his original intern group, Alex had always been closest to Meredith and George. They were the first people to actually give him a chance when he had arrived in Seattle and to treat him like a half decent human being. Meredith had even let George and Alex move in to her and Derek's spare rooms for a short while, much to Derek's disgust.

Alex wasn't in the mood for socializing with them tonight though as he looked down at his beer moodily and said to Meredith, "What are you doing here? Haven't you got a home to get to?"

"I'm on call tonight. So Derek's picked up Zach from the day-care." She replied as she sat down next to him.

"So, how's it going with Isobel Stevens?" George said cheerfully looking at Alex, totally oblivious to what had happened earlier, being in surgery he hadn't been there when their other friends had been discussing Alex and Izzie.

Alex ignored him as Meredith said. "Ah, bit of a sore subject I think, right, Alex?"

"Really? Because, I happened to bump in to her yesterday in the elevator and I have to tell you, Alex, I really think she has the hots for you big time. For some reason she's seems to think you're pretty special. And she seemed like a really 'cool girl' too, not at all like I expected, very down to earth. And you really owe me one too, because I told her you were a good guy… Obviously I left out the part about you sleeping with half the hospital…."

Alex remained silent as he felt his cheeks burning and he willed George to shut up as he wittered on. His annoying bumbling and ability to always be guaranteed to put his foot in somewhere, was just too much for Alex to handle. Luckily Meredith seemed to sense this too as she quickly cut George off and said. "Yeah, might be a little late for that, George. Think she's probably aware of Alex's womanizing ways now."

Alex scowled angrily at Meredith and screwed his eyes up as he looked away again.

"Oh?" George responded, sounding surprized and curious, just as his phone beeped and he pulled it out of his pocked, scanning it quickly as he downed the rest of his beer and pulling his bag over his head he said quickly. "That's Olivia, I've got to go. I forgot she's cooking me my favourite tonight. Err….Catch you later guys." Jumping off his bar stool and rushing out the door.

Normally Alex would have made some wise crack about how George was completely under the thumb now and Olivia had him on a very short leash. But tonight making fun of George was the last thing Alex felt like doing, all he really felt was jealous of George. Alex would love to have his hot fiancé calling him, telling him to get home for a home cooked meal and night of hot sex, especially if that fiancé was Izzie!

"You really like her, don't you?" Meredith said, with George gone and it just being the two of them.

Alex rubbed his chin as he avoided eye contact. He hated how Meredith could always tell so well what he was thinking. That was what had made them such good friends, they always had each other sussed out. Meredith had told him things that he knew she hadn't told anyone else, about her dark and twisty thoughts and insecurities before she had married Derek, things that she hadn't even told Cristina and in return he had confided in her back. She knew he was lonely. She knew he slept around when he was angry or sad as a way of taking some sort of control over his life. She also knew that deep down he was a good person and she never gave up on him, even when he probably deserved it, and for that Alex was truly grateful.

Meredith wasn't taking no for an answer this time either, as she said to Alex. "She made you happy, didn't she?"

Alex sighed, as he spoke properly for the first time since he had entered the bar that evening and said. "Whatever, it's too late now. She thinks I'm the biggest jerkass going. That crap with Jackson, that was all him. That was nothing to do with me, but she'll never see that."

"So, put her straight." Meredith said quickly.

"What's the point, she won't listen." He said sullenly

"Then make her listen." Meredith replied firmly.

Alex wasn't quite sure what he was doing when he walked back in to the hospital. Meredith had been called back over and she'd paged him not long after to tell him Izzie was on her own, her mother had left, if he wanted to speak to her.

He really had no idea what he was going to say to her this time that would make any difference. She'd made it very clear that she wanted nothing more to do with him. But somehow he just couldn't let it rest. He couldn't let her slip through his fingers, not without a fight.

Walking over to Sarah's room and looking inside he spotted Izzie immediately. She was sat staring in to space in the corner of the room with a white hospital blanket loosely draped over her. The lights dimmed.

Taking a deep breath he cautiously opened the door and leaned against the door frame. "Izzie," he said in low voice so as to not disturb Sarah who was fast asleep.

Izzie looked up immediately and the blanket slipped down her shoulders and Alex noticed she had changed in to a tight white tank top and her hair was slightly ruffled from where she had been lying against the back of the chair. "Thought you'd be off chasing your next piece of ass," she said sarcastically.

"Izzie," he just said as he stayed glued to the spot leaning against the door frame some more, his eyes fixed on her and full of concern and apprehension.

"Go away, Alex. I've had a long day and a rough night, Sarah's been throwing up for the past two hours and I'm pretty exhausted so would you please just leave me alone."

He took another step in to the room and said "I'm not good at this, okay. I'm not good at talking about stupid feelings. But would you please just hear me out….properly?"

She looked at him then and her face softened slightly as she eventually said. "Okay, but not here," and she stood up, grabbing a black cardigan from the side and wrapping it around herself, shaking out her long hair as they walked in to the relatives room and Alex shut the door behind them as he turned to look at her.

"I know you think I'm the biggest ass ever and I can't blame you for that. Because the truth is I am an ass. There's a reason I'm called evil spawn. I've never treated women very well. ….That guy you saw me talking to earlier, Jackson. He's only ever known me to be a jerk to women. So, I can't blame him for making that stupid bet and for thinking that I would ever change and that me being with you would be anything different. Because, honestly I've never met anyone that's made me want to change….. until now. I know I've only just met you, Izzie. But, you make me want to be better, you make me want to be good."

He paused to try and gauge her reaction as she stood in front of him. Her wide, expressive eyes flickering across his face taking in his clumsy words as she replied. "You think I'm one big joke. Just some silly airhead that has some stupid unrealistic dream to go med school."

"I think you're many things, Iz. But a joke is certainly not one of them. When we first met and you said you were just as smart as me, you were right. You're reading medical text that I've only just recently covered myself. You'll fly through med school and make a first rate doctor one day too."

As he finished speaking she instantly broke in to a wide smile that lit her face up a little, as she said giddily, "You really think that?"

"I know that." He said as he smiled back.

"But, what you said to your friends, you were ashamed to admit you liked me? Because of who I am?" She said and her face became more serious again.

"I honestly couldn't give a damn what they think. I just don't let my guard down easily. It's the way I've always been, I play a certain role to protect myself. Things weren't easy for me when I was younger, and well I just find it's better that way." He trailed off as he realized he was letting her in to a part of himself that he kept firmly locked away and the last thing he wanted was her pity.

She looked at him as though she was trying to fully process what he was saying, before she said passionately. "I don't'trust people easily either. I trusted you and Sarah trusted you and…"

Alex was lost for words, he knew what he wanted to say but all that would come out of his mouth was, "Iz, I'm sorry….."

a/n - Thanks for reviews. Please keep telling me what you think and whether you like the direction the story is going in.