Operation Essentially Doom Young Ninja Is A Go

Chapter 2

"There they go," Shizune reported, leaning over the railings as she watched a large group of young ninja slowly trod their way out of Konoha. "Off to their deaths,"

Tsunade didn't reply, instead rolling her eyes at her assistant's nervousness. Shizune turned to the older woman, her eyes eager.

"You can still tell them to turn back now, you know. There's still hope."

"Be quiet Shizune," Tsunade retorted. "They'll be fine."

"They're going to die," Shizune replied stubbornly.

"They'll be fine," Tsunade repeated.

"They're going to die."

"They'll. Be. Fine."

"Death."

"Good health."

"Death."

"Good health."

"Death and destruction and worms eating their-"

"Shizune."

"Sorry."

"Deidara how much time are you planning on spending on your hair? They're just a load of kids you know. We're not going to a pageant."

"Shut up hm!" Deidara retorted angrily to his partner, from behind the bathroom door, as he brushed furiously at his fringe.

"Does Deidara have any hot students?" Hidan asked with interest.

Sasori looked over to Hidan, frowning slightly in annoyance. "I fail to see how that is of any importance," he replied slowly.

"I was just asking!" Hidan retorted. "Jashin's sake," he added moodily before kicking a pebble.

There was a short silence -which was only interrupted by Deidara yelling loudly at Sasori to shut up after his red-headed partner rapped on the bathroom door once or twice- and then Hidan looked up to Kakuzu who was glowering off into the distance, his arms crossed.

"Kakuzu? Did you happen to notice if Deidara has any hot students?" the Jashinist enquired sweetly, peering up at his older partner demurely.

Kakuzu's glare intensified. "What relevance is that to the task at hand?" he replied coldly before swiftly marching away.

"Oh c'mon Kuzu you know you're my one and only!" Hidan whined as he trailed after his partner.

"Sometimes I think about mixing up the partnerships," Pein whispered to Konan as the two of them watched this exchange.

"Maybe we should just leave without Deidara," Sasori suggested as he wandered over to the Akatsuki leader. "As he's apparently planning on taking forever," the puppet master made sure to say this last part extra loud just to make sure his explosive partner could hear him.

A chorus of swear words from within the bathroom signified to the rest of the Akatsuki that Deidara had, indeed, heard his partner's words.

"Sasori has a point," Kisame reasoned after Deidara's curses had died down. "That stupid pyromaniac is taking longer than usual with his girly morning routine."

Pein sighed and rubbed at his brow before looking to Konan for assistance. Konan slipped him a glance and then shrugged.

"All I'll say is, he's taking longer than I did," she said quietly.

Pein nodded and then looked back to Kisame. "Do what you need to do," he stated, before extending his hands to the door, inviting Kisame to try his strength.

Kisame chuckled evilly before slowly unsheathing Samehada, just in time for Deidara to open the bathroom door, a happy smile on his face. The rest of the Akatsuki groaned and Kisame looked extremely put out as he placed his sword back onto his back.

"Ah, Deidara, you're…ready," Pein stated with a relieved smile.

"Nope!" Deidara replied. "I've just got to go get some-"

"No," Pein cut him off bluntly. "You're ready."

"But I-" Deidara went to speak, but he silenced himself when he saw the look on his leader's face. The blonde sighed sadly before nodding his head. "Yeah, you're right. I'm ready."

"Fucking finally," Hidan put in.

Deidara threw him a glare and then the Akatsuki set off to their meeting places.

Hinata and Tenten stood nervously in a random clearing in the middle of some random woods. To say the two girls were scared was an understatement –though Tenten was trying her best not to show it-. Hinata, on the other hand, was a quivering mess; jumping at every sound and squealing whenever a cloud went over the sun.

"Hinata, it'll be ok," Tenten tried to reassure her younger counterpart as the Hyuga squealed loudly at the sound of a cracking branch.

"Will it?"

At the sound of a gravelly male voice, both Tenten and Hinata froze. Hinata went a distinct green looking colour and Tenten was immobile. Neither girl turned around; too frightened to face whomever the voice belonged to. The silence in the clearing went on for a while and then Kakuzu sighed.

"I'm not really happy to be doing this either you know," he growled. "But the least you could do is look at me,"

Hinata and Tenten didn't move and there was another short while of silence before Hinata suddenly fell to the ground, clearly fainting in fright. Tenten let out a short scream of terror, but didn't move. Kakuzu let out another sigh –this time of frustration- and then walked over to the frozen Hyuga girl. This was going to be pure hell…he could tell.

Hidan sighed as he watched a cloud drift over the sun. Everyone else had gone to meet their students, but apparently his 'students' were smartasses who clearly thought making an S-Rank criminal wait was a clever idea. Hidan hated them already. In fact, the very word 'students' made the Jashinist want to gag. Pulling a face, the man sat himself down against a large rock and closed his eyes. Pein had got them up at a ridiculous time this morning, may as well make up for the lack of sleep.

Sasori paced back and forth in irritation; if there was one thing he hated more than Deidara, it was waiting and right now his stupid students were making him wait. A long time. They were more than an half an hour late. In what world was that ok? What happened to general politeness? Apparently it had all but disappeared since the man had joined the Akatsuki. Sasori was just about to give up and walk back to the base when suddenly a guy dressed as a cat entered the clearing, dragging with him another ninja; his hair up in a high ponytail.

"Um…hey," Cat-Guy greeted.

"You're late," Sasori returned rudely, his eyebrows raised as he took in the two young ninja before him. "And what's wrong with him?" he nodded at the ninja Cat-Guy was holding. The boy looked out cold.

"Uh yeah, sorry about that," Cat-Guy apologised. "Um, Shikamaru's just…asleep."

There was a short silence as Sasori processed this, and then the puppet master spoke. "…asleep?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Tired I guess."

"How did he fall asleep on the journey to get here? Did you not come on foot?" Sasori demanded.

"No, um, yeah we did," Cat-Guy nodded, obviously nervous in the face of an irritated Akatsuki member. "But Shikamaru asked to take a break and then he…he fell asleep."

"Why haven't you woke him up?" Sasori asked.

There was another silence and a breeze past through the clearing as Cat-Guy itched at his hair, underneath his cat hat.

"I…um…I don't know," he admitted.

There was yet another silence and Sasori had to stop himself from exploding with anger. "Wake him up!" he instructed sharply.

"Oh, oh yeah!" Cat-Guy agreed before shaking furiously at Shikamaru.

Sasori pinched the bridge of his nose, hard.

"As you know, your Hokage has asked us Akatsuki to teach you a few things," Pein announced grandly. "So that's what I'll be doing today. Before we start, does anyone have any questions?"

The two young ninja in front of him didn't reply. The Kazekage of the Sand Village simply stared at him, his pupiless green eyes boring into the Akatsuki leader, while the Kyubi child was gazing at Pein with a suspicious glare on his face, one of his hands clutching onto a kunai at his side. It was quite unnerving actually. Pein could handle anything the Akatsuki threw at him, but the sight of two young teenagers simply staring at him was making him nervous. It wasn't that Pein didn't think he could take these two youngsters on in a fight. He knew he could beat them when the time came for that…it was just…Pein didn't even know what was bothering him; these kids were just creepy.

After the silence, the pierced man coughed a little. "…right," he murmured.

"Neji, what does this have to do with ninja training?" Choji hissed at his fellow leaf ninja as the two of them looked up at Konan, the Akatsuki member who had been assigned to them.

Neji simply shook his head in reply.

"See? It's actually quite easy when you get the hang of it," Konan declared happily. "How are yours coming along?"

Neji and Choji held up their half knitted scarves for inspection and Konan smiled.

"They're great! You guys are really good at this!" she announced before returning to knitting her own scarf.

The two ninja before her exchanged a glance before shrugging. At least she wasn't trying to kill them.

Temari sighed heavily as, once again, the sun ducked behind a cloud.

"How long is this guy planning on taking?" she demanded moodily.

"I. Do. Not. Know!" Rock-Lee replied, in-between punching at a rock. "Guy-Sensei always told me, lateness is the curse of a terrible ninja!"

"…right," Temari responded before rolling her eyes. Just her luck to be stuck with a crazy one. The rest of the sand ninja's thoughts were interrupted by a huge explosion.

"Outta the way!" she yelled to Rock-Lee as she jumped backwards.

Dirt and bark flew everywhere as a magnificent booming sound filled the area. Temari covered her eyes with her arm as debris flew towards her. It was a long time before the explosion died down and Temari's ears were still ringing even as a figure became evident, standing in the middle of the crater which had just been created by the explosion.

Who's this jerk? the girl wondered moodily to herself.

"Art is an explosion!" the blonde announced proudly before putting his hands on his hips and grinning. "And that's what I call an entrance!"

Oh Lord, is this our teacher? Temari demanded in a panicky fashion. The girl looked over at Rock-Lee hoping the boy would sympathise with her, but the bushy-browed ninja was not looking at her. He was looking at the Akatsuki member before them. His eyes shining, his hands balled into fists and his mouth open wide in amazement.

"That was amazing!" he exclaimed.

Temari couldn't help but face palm herself. She was going to have a whale of a time…that was for sure.

"H…hello, are you Itachi Uchiha?"

Itachi opened his eyes slowly to see a slim, pink-haired girl gazing at him nervously. She stood a few feet away, rightfully wary. However, Itachi reasoned, there was no reason to be wary; he was not going to attack her, he was her teacher for the next few weeks. The Uchiha smiled pleasantly, attempting to set a relaxed tone.

"Yes I am," he nodded. "You must be Sakura Haruno. I've heard you have great ability and that you know my younger brother…who is about to attack me right about…now," the older Uchiha dodged out of the way, just in time for Sasuke to come flying to the ground, his chakra sword unsheathed.

Sasuke was stronger…much stronger, but he wasn't quite ready to take on his older brother…not yet anyway.

"Sasuke!" Sakura exclaimed, staring at him wide-eyed.

Sasuke ignored his old friend and began launching a vicious attack on Itachi who sighed as he dodged his way out of the blows.

"Sasuke," he began slowly. "We're not here to fight, I'm here to teach yo-" Itachi was cut off when he was forced to, once again, jump out of the way of one of Sasuke's attacks.

"Sasuke!" Sakura repeated.

Suddenly Itachi disappeared from view. Sasuke leapt to the ground, his head snapping around furiously as her searched for his vilified older brother. Sakura glanced around too, wondering where their new teacher had gone.

"Need I remind you Sasuke," Itachi's voice suddenly rang out causing Sasuke to flinch and then increase the fervor of his search. "That we are not alone. We have company. The least you could do is say hello."

Sasuke stopped still and, with his fists balled, responded to his older brother. "The only thing I want to do is kill you!" he yelled.

"Well, I'm not showing myself until you show some courtesy to your young friend over there," Itachi replied, his tone casual.

Sasuke growled lowly to himself, but then turned to look at Sakura. "…hey," he greeted moodily.

"Sasuke!" Sakura replied. "Please come back to the village!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Now's not the time Sakura," he sighed.

"My little brother is right," Itachi claimed, suddenly appearing behind Sakura. "Though he put it in a less than desirable way. Sasuke, since when have you been so rude? Clearly Orochimaru has forced some bad habits onto you."

"I hate you!" Sasuke roared back.

"Yes, we know," Itachi nodded. "But, as you said to Sakura, now is not the time. Perhaps we can leave your quest for vengeance behind you? Just for now?"

There was a long silence, filled only by Sasuke's heavy breathing and then the younger Uchiha relented.

"Fine," he said moodily. "Fine, fine, whatever. Go ahead, try and 'teach' us."

Itachi smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

"I'm still going to try and kill you occasionally."

"That goes without saying."

"I wasn't informed about this…'dog'," Kisame commented after a while of staring at his new student's big white dog.

Kiba flicked Akamaru a nervous glance and then coughed awkwardly. "Akamaru comes everywhere with me," he explained. "He's my best pal."

"Is he house trained?" Kisame questioned.

Kiba stalled for a moment and then looked from Akamaru back to Kisame with confused eyes. "Does…does it matter?" he asked. "We're outside…"

Kisame didn't reply and stayed staring down at the dog. "Well…does he have fleas? Does he bite? Does he get on well with other dogs?"

Kiba cocked his head in confusion at the S-Rank criminal before him. "I don't…" the Inuzuka trailed off when he finally cottoned on to the situation. "Kisame-Sensei, are you scared of dogs?"

Kisame's eyes widened a fraction and then he controlled himself. Throwing a harsh glare Kiba's way. "No," he denied vehemently. "And don't call me Sensei, that makes me feel funny."

"I'm sorry Kisame-Sensei," Kiba replied cheekily.

"I said don't call me that!" Kisame retorted.

Kiba patted Akamaru on the rump and the dog moved forwards slightly, this had the desired affect; Kisame fell backwards, looking horrified. This reaction elicited a cheeky smile from Kiba. He was going to have a grand old time.

AN: So, who's going to be worse? The Akatsuki or the young ninja? Looks like it's going to be a mix. Thank you for all your reviews so far! Stay tuned for the next chapter!