Operation Essentially Doom Young Ninja Is A Go

Chapter 3

"Well here we are."

"This is the place?"

"Yup; this is the place."

Hidan wrinkled his brow at the noise, but kept his eyes shut, intent on continuing his nap.

"I wonder where our teacher is."

"I'm not sure; do you think it could be this guy?"

"Him?"

"He is wearing an Akatsuki robe."

"True. Are you going to wake him up?"

"Why me?"

There was no reply to her question however and, sighing, Ino crouched down near the sleeping Akatsuki member and peered at him.

"How should I do it?" she requested, glancing over at Shino who was watching her blankly.

"Poke him," he suggested.

Ino pulled a face and then looked back to the man before her, shrugging she extended a finger and poked Hidan swiftly in the cheek. The effect was instantaneous.

"Ow! What the fuck? Have you midgets never heard of personal space?" Hidan screeched as he leapt up out of his sleeping positon.

Ino and Shino jumped back in fright and stared at him in horror, their eyes wide. Hidan felt a slight thrill of satisfaction at the look of pure terror on their faces, but then he shook his head and glowered hard at them; regaining his self control.

"So you two little shits are my 'students' eh?"

The two leaf ninja nodded, still looking terrified.

"Well, way to make a good first impression assholes," Hidan continued, scratching the back of his head as he took the two of them in. "I'm willing to forget that rude awakening however, so you're lucky."

Both Ino and Shino visibly relaxed and then Ino stepped forward slightly, cautiously; as if she were dealing with a wild animal.

"I'm Ino, sir, and this is Shino," she introduced.

Hidan grinned and looked the blonde girl up and down. "Yeah you are," he agreed.

Ino's brow pulled down in confusion as her face became a mixture of repulsion and puzzlement.

Hidan decided to leave her to her confusion. "Well I'm Hidan," he introduced. "Possibly the most dangerous out of the Akatsuki."

"I've read that Itachi Uchiha is the most dangerous of the Akatsuki," Shino murmured.

Hidan twitched and then turned an angry glare on the boy. "Well then you've read a few too many stupid books, haven't you?" he hissed.

Shino didn't reply, instead opting to stare blankly at him. Hidan shuddered; he hated creepy staring kids. Time to move this shit along Hidan decided as Ino and Shino exchanged a glance.

Feeling a renewed sense of enthusiasm, Hidan jumped onto the large rock he had just been sleeping against and gazed down at his students.

"Alright assbuts-"

At this name, both Ino and Shino pulled a face, Hidan ignored these reactions however and persisted.

"-let's get going with some super ninja training!"

Shino raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment. Ino, in contrast, did.

"'Super'?" she repeated, a disbelieving look on her face. "Are you sure you're an Akatsuki member and not a toddler escaped from day care?"

Hidan stared at her for a few seconds, his eye twitching, before he exploded. "Whaaaaaat?" he screeched and then he launched himself at the blonde.

Ino leapt out of the way, into a tree, looking horrified. "What are you doing?" she screamed. "You're supposed to be training us! Not trying to kill us!"

Hidan swung around to face her, a devilish smirk on his face. "I'm not trying to kill both of you," he responded sweetly. "I'm only trying to kill you!" the Jashinist leapt up towards the tree, reaching for his scythe at the same time.

Ino yelped and quickly disappeared in a puff of smoke, appearing a few trees away. "You're a terrible teacher!" she yelled.

"You're a terrible student you little shit!" Hidan roared back. "You should know better than to cheek your elders!"

"You should know better than to attack your students!" Ino responded.

Shino just watched blankly from the ground.

"Please don't eat our hearts!"

Kakuzu sighed heavily as Tenten said this. He was currently leaning over Hinata, checking to see if she was ok and Tenten had not stopped with her begging.

"I'm not going to eat your hearts," he replied moodily as he carefully sat Hinata up, resting her back against a tree. Once he was sure she was fine, he looked to Tenten who was staring at him with wide, worried, chocolate brown eyes. "Do I really look that scary?" he requested.

Tenten nodded stiffly.

Kakuzu sighed again and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not going kill you," he reassured her. "At least not yet anyway."

Tenten's squeal was so high that Kakuzu was sure she was communicating to an alien species and then she fainted, hitting the ground hard.

"Maybe we're not quite on the jokey level yet," Kakuzu mused as he looked down at the fainted girl. Then he sighed once more. "I hate teenagers," he groaned.

"Where are we going?" Kankuro repeated for, what seemed to be, the millionth time as he and Shikamaru tramped after Sasori.

"Shut up," Sasori replied quietly. In all truth, Sasori had no idea where they were going; he had no idea what he was supposed to be teaching these kids, but...exercise was always good right? So a healthy walk through the forest must be good.

"How are you moving about in there?"

Sasori stopped short and looked back to Shikamaru who, tiredly, returned his gaze.

"None of your business," the ginger retorted.

"Wait a minute..." Kankuro gasped. "Is that a puppet? Oh man! That's beautiful craftsmanship! How did you make that? This is amazing!" the sand ninja darted around Sasori, touching various parts of Hiruko and annoying Sasori no end.

"Get away from me," he growled. "That's none of your business. I'm not here to tell you all my secrets."

"Sorry," Kankuro apologised meekly before darting behind Shikamaru and watching Sasori worriedly.

"Are...are you guys hungry?"

Some time had passed since Pein had been introduced to Naruto and Gaara and no developments had occurred since then; the three of them had simply stayed where they were looking at each other. Eventually, Pein had roused the courage to request whether the two teens were hungering at all.

"No," Gaara replied quietly.

Naruto however, looked a little conflicted; he clearly wanted to continue glowering at Pein, but the boy's stomach growled even as he went to open his mouth. The blond hung his head, looking ashamed.

"I am," he answered.

"Ok then," Pein replied, looking relieved. "I guess we should go to the nearest town and get some food then-"

"You're not going to Konoha!" Naruto yelped, leaping up and pointing a finger into Pein's face.

"I wasn't planning on!" Pein defended, looking stunned. "I just thought we could...go into the nearest...village..."

"Alright then," Naruto affirmed, glowering at Pein suspiciously. "But I'm watching you."

"...ok," Pein murmured.

How had it come to this? Now Pein felt like he was a prisoner of Naruto! He was going to have to regain some control soon, lest he simply let himself be led into prison.

"But..." Pein coughed as he roused some more courage. "I'm leading."

Naruto and Gaara exchanged a look and then Naruto looked back to Pein. "Ok," he nodded. "But no funny business,"

Pein stared at him in confusion.

"Whatta you doin'?" Naruto demanded. "Get a move on! I'm hungry! Believe it!"

"Right," Pein nodded turning around swiftly and beginning to move off. "Sorry," he added meekly over his shoulder.

"Anyone hungry?" Konan enquired sweetly. "I've made cupcakes!" the blue haired woman whipped out a batch of cupcakes and offered them to Neji and Choji.

Neji and Choji exchanged a look and then slowly extended their hands to take a cupcake.

"I..." Deidara paused for dramatic effect. "...am Deidara! And I am your new sensei yeah!"

"How did you explode the ground like that sensei?" Rock-Lee enquired excitedly, leaning forward.

"It's called exploding clay yeah!" Deidara explained, grandly displaying some of the said clay. "It's an art really."

"Blowing things up is an art?" Temari asked sceptically.

Deidara looked at her. "...yes," he answered, obviously not in the mood for questions.

"Care to explain how?" Temari questioned.

Deidara dropped his arms down and cast the blonde girl a disparaging glare. "If you don't get it," he replied patronisingly. "Then I'm not about to explain it. Hm," the Akatsuki member turned to look at Rock-Lee, a smile on his face. "Now this guy, he gets it."

Rock-Lee let out a yelp of happiness.

"Want to go fly around for a bit while I explain true art to you?" Deidara enquired.

"Yes! Oh yes please sensei!" Rock-Lee gushed.

Temari promptly face-palmed herself.

"Now," Itachi began calmly. "I feel that the first thing we should do, before we get started on any training, is introduce ourselves. We must first feel comfortable with each other, then we can start training. So...Sakura, would you like to start?"

Sakura nodded quietly. "Well, um, I'm Sakura."

"Hello Sakura," Itachi nodded.

Sasuke didn't reply as he was too busy glaring daggers at his older brother, Itachi noticed this and turned to look at his little brother.

"Sasuke," he said scathingly. "Say hello to Sakura."

Sasuke's glare intensified and he slowly tore his gaze away from Itachi. "Hello Sakura," he said moodily before looking back at Itachi angrily.

Itachi returned this glare with a happy smile. "See? It's not hard to be civil is it?"

"Yes it is!" Sasuke roared, getting to his feet. "I'm having a very hard time resisting ripping your head off!"

"Sasuke, you and I both know you wouldn't be capable of ripping my head off," Itachi said calmly.

"You killed our whole family!" Sasuke screeched.

"If I remember correctly," Itachi replied. "It was Sakura's turn to talk...not yours,"

Sasuke grumbled moodily to himself and sat down, crossing his arms and falling into a huff.

"Here you are Sakura," Itachi took a tiny pink toy elephant out of his robes and handed it to the pink-haired girl. "Whoever's holding this is allowed to talk; everyone else-" the older Uchiha looked at Sasuke pointedly who met his gaze and then looked away. "-must remain quiet. Now Sakura, would you like to continue?"

Sakura glanced around unsurely before opening her mouth.

"So, what are we doing then Kisame-Sensei?"

"Stop calling me-" Kisame cut himself off and glanced at Akamaru who panted heavily and cocked his head at him.

Kiba patted his dog and grinned. "Cuz I was thinking we could go head to town for some food. Your treat?"

Kisame stared at the boy angrily, but Kiba simply smiled widely back.

"...where do you want to go?" Kisame asked eventually, sounding defeated.

"I think me and Akamaru are feeling some ice cream! Aren't we boy?"

Akamaru woofed loudly, resulting in Kisame falling back onto his backside as he screeched in horror.

"Don't do that!" he ordered as he got back up.

Kiba didn't reply; he was laughing too hard.