Operation Essentially Doom Young Ninja Is A Go
Chapter 4
"Ok…Ok I'm getting a little worn out now Hidan."
"Nah, you can take it right? That's the impression I got when you opened that whore mouth of yours."
"No, I'm tired, please…please stop."
Shino sighed and rolled his eyes. The bug boy was currently leaning back against a rock, watching as his new Sensei and his new –temporary- team mate chased each other round and round the clearing they were currently stationed in. The two of them had not let up for at least an hour now and it was getting tiring –and irritating- to watch.
"I'm not forcing you to run away little lady," Hidan cooed as he leapt from tree branch to tree branch, his scythe swinging in one hand. "You made that decision all on your own."
"How come you're not showing any signs of exhaustion?" Shino asked from the ground, he flicked a glance Ino's way. "Ino looks absolutely exhausted, but you look fine."
Hidan stopped short and looked down at his student before putting his hands on his hips and grinning proudly. "I'm immortal motherfucker! I only sleep when I want to, not because I have to!"
Ino stopped short and raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? So the world is doomed with you forever?"
Hidan growled at her and launched himself towards her; Ino leapt efficiently out of the way and then cocked her head.
"But, seriously…could you teach us how to become immortal?"
"I do not think that's a-" Shino was interrupted by Ino putting her hand up to silence him, she gazed intently at Hidan.
The Akatsuki member had stopped short and was now looking at her a strange look in his eyes.
"To become immortal you'd have to become a Jashinist…and that's only the first step," he announced after a while of silence.
"A Jashinist?" Shino repeated.
"I.e. the best motherfucking religion in the world," Hidan affirmed. "So…whaddya think gals? Wanna become immortal?"
Shino and Ino glanced at each other, Shino with a reserved look in his eye, hidden behind his glasses and Ino with an excited gaze.
Kakuzu glanced up at the sky and sighed, wondering how his partner was getting on with his couple of brats. The stitched man flicked a glare over at his…students, both of them were currently incapacitated; stone cold out of it. Kakuzu had decided to tie them to a tree with wire because at least that way they wouldn't try to escape. He'd resolved to simply sit there for the duration of time he was supposed to be teaching them…if they were going to insist on screaming and begging for their lives then he wasn't going to bother with even attempting to teach them.
As he glowered at them, one of the girls slowly came to; it was Hinata. The Hyuga slowly opened her eyes, glancing around the clearing. She struggled to move and then froze in horror once she realised she couldn't, that there were wires entrapping her. The girl's frightened eyes slid to the side and came to a rest on Kakuzu who was sitting on a tree, opposite the girls- twirling a kunai.
"What…what're you going to do to us?" she asked, her tiny voice becoming even meeker than usual.
Kakuzu's eyes narrowed; why were these girls so suspicious? What sort of people had they met? Did they hang out, on a regular, with rapists or murderers? Not every criminal was a psycho. The Akatsuki member sighed.
"I'm not going to do anything," he assured her. "My intention wasn't to scare you in the first place, but we've obviously got off to a bad start in that regard," the man motioned to the wire. "The wire was to keep you in place and make sure you didn't just go off running into the woods. There're bandits out there."
Tenten, who had woken up during Kakuzu's speech, cocked her head. "So…you're just doing this to protect us?"
Kakuzu glanced off to the side and began fiddling with his kunai a bit more furiously. "…maybe," he murmured.
Hinata and Tenten shared a look and then Hinata spoke up, her innocent eyes wide. "Well…sir, we…we won't run away now. We promise."
Kakuzu glanced over at them; both girls looked back at him, huge innocent smiles plastered onto their faces. The man coughed gruffly and then jumped down from his tree. "O…okay," he concurred and then set to work untying them.
Once untied both girls leapt at Kakuzu, wrapping their arms around him and embracing him into a bone-crushing hug.
"We're sorry we made you feel bad," Tenten exclaimed.
"Yes Sensei, we were wrong to judge you so quickly," Hinata agreed.
Kakuzu didn't reply; he couldn't. The man just stood stock still, frozen in shock at the two teenage girls squeezed him tight.
"So there's word around the village that you've been spotted with Temari quite a few times."
Sasori growled lowly to himself and rubbed the bridge of his nose as Kankuro started up again. The boy could just not be quiet. For him, silence involved whistling, humming, singing and, the best of them all, talking loudly.
"Yeah, the Hokage asks me to escort her around the village whenever she's there," Shikamaru replied, his tone bored; though he couldn't have missed the slightly menacing tone in Kankuro's voice.
"Yeah, well, the rumours going around my village aren't half as innocent as that," the sand ninja retorted.
"What are you getting at Kankuro?" Shikamaru drawled, looking up at the sky.
"I think you know what I'm getting at," Kankuro hissed angrily.
"Do I?"
"Yes."
"Ok then."
"Answer the question then!"
"What question?"
"The…the question!"
"I wasn't aware that a question was asked."
"Stop talking!" Sasori suddenly exploded, he whipped round, turning to glower at Kankuro.
Kankuro stared back at him, looking shocked, but then his face dropped and he resumed plodding along behind the puppet man as Sasori turned away from them and continued marching. There was silence for a while and then Sasori noticed that Kankuro had turned up next to him.
"Sasori," the sand sibling whispered urgently. "Sasori,"
"What?" Sasori hissed back, unsure as to why he was whispering. "You're right next to me. I can hear you."
"Do you think Shikamaru's…" the other puppeteer was clearly struggling for the right word. "…'fornicated' with my sister?"
Sasori didn't reply he just mentally cursed his luck for being gifted with this bone-head as his student.
"Not here."
"But I thought you said you were hungry!"
"I am, but since you're paying I decided we better make the most of it…Ah! Here we are!" Naruto marched into the front and lead Pein and Gaara into one of the most expensive restaurants Pein had ever seen. It looked out of place in the tiny –shabby- village they had just entered.
"Hello sir," a waiter swooped in on the trio, greeting Naruto with age old politeness and charisma. "Are you awaiting a table?"
"That's right!" Naruto agreed, flashing a happy grin over his shoulder at Pein. "A table for three! And before we even sit down, bring us your finest bottle of wine!"
Pein visibly gulped and his hand crept to his wallet.
"Oh, you both look so cute!"
Neji and Choji were both kitted out in knitted black onesies, the Akatsuki symbol stitched all over in the same style as Konan's cloak.
"You're like honorary Akatsuki!" Konan continued.
Neji and Choji glanced at each other.
"Better than being killed," Choji mouthed.
Neji shrugged in acknowledgement. Though he was starting to wonder whether Konan was a different kind of psycho.
Temari kicked a pebble in irritation before sighing huffily and crossing her arms. Where on Earth were they? Deidara and Rock-Lee had been gone for up to nearly two hours now. The Sand ninja dreaded to think what the pair were doing.
"Temari!"
At the sound of her name, Temari looked up only to see Rock-Lee and Deidara flying towards her on Deidara's giant bird. They came to a stop just above her, kept aloft by the clay bird's giant wings.
"Temari! Deidara has gifted me with an Akatsuki cloak!" Rock-Lee exclaimed, he did a twirl on the bird and Temari held back a grimace as she watched Rock-Lee's new cloak spin out.
"He told me to get you one too," Deidara said, he took a cloak out from behind his back, but glanced to the side, pouting. "Though I told him you'd probably reject it hm."
Temari looked up at them defiantly for a few seconds and then sighed heavily. Wasn't the old saying 'if you can't beat them, join them?'
"That's…that's really great Deidara, thanks," she called up.
Deidara's eyes widened and he looked down at Temari as Rock-Lee whooped excitedly.
"Temari has agreed to join our new squad!" he celebrated.
"So Sasuke, to conclude, you despise me, would like to make me die, you enjoy hating me, your hobbies are hating me and your favourite food is tomatoes. Is that right?"
Sasuke didn't open his mouth, but instead resolved to nod moodily.
"And Sakura, you miss Sasuke, would like Sasuke to come back, you enjoy being in Sasuke's company, your hobbies are trying to convince Sasuke to come back and your favourite food is dumplings. Right?"
"That's right Sensei," Sakura affirmed before glancing over at Sasuke nervously.
"Well…" Itachi sat back and crossed his arms. "I think you two may need a few more hobbies,"
The pair in front of him remained silent.
"That was a joke," Itachi murmured after a while.
"Yeah. We got it," Sasuke retorted moodily. "It just wasn't very funny!"
"Sasuke, you are behaving like a petulant child," Itachi replied scathingly.
"YOU DESTROYED MY CHILDHOOD!" Sasuke roared back.
Itachi chose to ignore this and, instead, turned a delightful smile onto Sakura. "Sakura, I think it's high time we went for lunch, don't you?"
"That'd…that'd be nice," Sakura agreed meekly, she flicked a glance at Sasuke which Itachi did not miss.
"Do not worry about my brother, he will be along shortly," the older Uchiha reassured the girl.
Sakura nodded and then began trotting along beside Itachi.
"Carrying…you…wasn't part of the deal…" Kisame puffed angrily as he treaded along a long dusty road, on the search for ice cream.
"Oh come on, you're big guy! I can't be that much of a struggle to carry!" Kiba replied jovially.
"I'm carrying this stupid hound as well!" Kisame roared back.
Yes, Kisame was being burdened with both Kiba and Akamaru. Akamaru was on Kisame's shoulders, a heavy burden at the best of times, but with Kiba on top…Kisame's back felt like it was about to break.
Akamaru growled lowly at being called stupid and Kiba tutted.
"Uhuh Kisame Sensei! I don't think Akamaru takes to well to being called stupid!"
There was silence for a while and Kisame stared moodily at the ground, but eventually, his fear got the better of him.
"…sorry Akamaru," he murmured.
"There ya go!" Kiba declared.
AN: Oh my God, I'm so sorry for being away for so long! I genuinely have no excuse! Well, I'm back now, and I hope you enjoyed that chapter!