Chapter Ten

Gabby's POV

I'm dating Mathias Køhler. I'm dating Mathias Køhler. I'm dating Mathias Køhler. I'm dating Mathias Køhler. I'm dating Mathias Køhler. I'm dating Mathias Køhler.

Ever since Mathias had shocked the hell out of me by smiling and accepting when I accidentally asked him out that day in the pond, that thought was swimming around somewhere in my head. It was like there was a whole swarm of the phrase dwindling in the back of my mind at all times, and the entire flock would come rushing to my attention every time I drifted off.

The really surprising thing was that Mathias actually seemed proud to be in a relationship with me. He met me outside of the dorms and walked me to breakfast, holding my hand the whole time. Don't get me wrong, it was really nice, but I'd never held a boy's hand before so I'm sure my palm was sweating like hell. Still, Mathias never commented on it, so maybe he likes awkward girls.

Anyway, he sat at the table with his arm around my shoulders, and announced that we were dating the very second everyone was seated. Tino practically died from clapping and congratulating us and saying how "very joyful" he was for us, while nobody else seemed to give a damn. Well, Lukas looked disturbed for about a second, but I didn't think that counts for much.

"I can't believe you two are actually together," Emil had muttered, poking at his porridge. I coughed away a grin that threatened to appear on my face. Poor Emil; two people he hated, dating. That must've sucked.

"Really? You can't?" Mathias blinked, tilting his head. "Well here's some more proof!"

And guess what he did.

He kissed me.

Did I know him well enough? Maybe. Did we have enough history together? I doubt it. Had we been dating long enough? Not at all. But I didn't care that this was so not okay; I didn't care that his lips had a permanent taste of beer and I desperately wanted to remind him of a little thing called mouthwash. There was something about the way he positioned his head just right, applied the perfect amount of pressure, and moved his mouth correctly that made me pray with all I had that my first kiss with him wouldn't be my last. And I'm not even religious.

The moment was over before I could become fully aware that it was even happening. My first kiss… The sensation of it was already slipping away. It had been so sudden, so uncalled for; now I could never document it like I'd always wanted to. Maybe I'd be able to remember my second kiss….

…Well, okay. That wasn't technically my first kiss. But I'll tell that story later.

"Mathias, I uh… I don't think he meant that he doesn't believe we're together. He just doesn't want to be," I choked out, my face absolutely on fire and my heart fluttering. I suddenly had no appetite for my cereal whatsoever.

"You're such an idiot, Dane," Emil muttered, staring off through the window. Mathias pouted immaturely, but quickly shrugged it off and regained his usual grin.

"You taste good…. What flavor lip gloss are you wearing? Cherry?"

I shook my head, my heart taking a sudden lurch as an idea immediately popped into my head. "Nope, not even close. Try again." I crossed my fingers under the table.

A smirk slipped onto Mathias's features. "I'm gonna need a better taste."

Score. I leaned forward slightly, closing my eyes, hoping I wouldn't bump our noses or bite his lip or anything like that. I decided I did pretty decent for a newbie. I started to pull away, only to feel Mathias's callused hand grip the back of my head, holding me in place. My blush rose all the way up to my forehead; I was beginning to feel faint, and not just because I was running out of breath. "…Ah. Cotton candy," Mathias muttered after what felt like a century. I inhaled a bigger breath than was probably necessary, sitting on my hands so I didn't touch my lips like the lovestruck loser I was.

"Ding ding ding," I murmured.

It didn't occur to me that Lukas had left the table. He was completely out of my mind, until Mathias and I ran into him. In an empty hallway. Kissing my sister.

At the time, Mathias and I had been lightly swinging our held hands and laughing over some comment 'Thias had made about our homeroom teacher. The cheery aura dancing around us seemed to suddenly be torn to shreds- at least on my half. Finally, finally, I'd accomplished something before my sister. Something besides making the High Honor Roll (which didn't matter anyway, because our mother decided only arrogant cheaters make High Honor Roll). Finally, I had some source of happiness that she couldn't take away from me…

Leave it to her to find a way.

Don't get me wrong, she and Lukas are pretty good for each other. So, technically, I should be happy for her, right? For about a second, I tried. I really did. But it didn't take long to see that I was unable to be. "How long has this been going on?" Mathias asked, gaping just as much as I was.

"Shut up, Dane." From the airiness of his voice and the fact that he hadn't unglued his eyes from my sister, even though they'd jumped about a foot away from each other, I could assume that Lukas hadn't even heard what Mathias had said. He was just so busy wallowing in my sister's luminous perfection….

I had to get out of there before I exploded.

"I'll see you later, 'Thias," I stated. I slid my hand away from his, giving him a quick peck to the cheek before he could comment and dashing off to the dorms. As I climbed up the stairs, I had the devastating image of never getting the opportunity to hold that Dane's hand again.

I needed to calm down…. My mascara was crazy waterproof; splashing my face with some warm water would be fine and probably do wonders. So I rushed past the bedrooms and into the bathrooms. Fortunately, they were currently unoccupied.

When the hell had I started tearing up? I blinked rapidly, clearing up my vision. However, as I looked up into the mirror above the sink, I wished my eyesight was permanently blurry. Forget "I'm dating Mathias Køhler;" the only thought overcoming my mind was a single word: "Ugly."

I don't know what people are talking about when they say Caliegh and I look alike. Her eyes occasionally are hinted with green or gray, while mine are constantly just deep blue; frankly, they're the only non-repulsive thing about my face. I can't really explain it, but it's just… not pretty. Maybe it's because my nose is too big; maybe it's because no matter how many facial cleansers I try, I always have blackheads; maybe it's because my head is slightly too small for the rest of my body. Not to mention how much slimmer my sister's face is. My dad used to say it was still just baby fat, but I've learned at this point that no matter how chubby of a baby I was, I'm not going to still have the fat 16 years later. Basically: I'm stuck like this forever.

What the hell would one of the hottest guys in the school see in you? I don't know if I said these words out loud, or if I was just bitterly mouthing them to my reflection. Gulping, as I had no answer, I slid my glasses off and rested them behind the sink's faucet. My vision was too poor to see the girl staring back at me now, but I still knew what I looked like without glasses. That image in mind, the word "ugly" floated away and was replaced with "hideous." This is why I refuse to wear contacts.

I stared down at the whiteness of the sink below me, shaking ever-so-slightly as I switched on the water. Clear your mind, clear your mind, clear your mind…. …That wasn't working. Stinging questions and comments kept throwing themselves at me. Screw warm water; I wasn't going to touch it until it was boiling…

"What's up?" I've been caught off guard a few times in my life. But never have I been so surprised that I screamed so loud I made my own ears ring, and spun around instinctively with an outstretched hand.

Please, please let my paranoia and lack of sight be playing tricks on my eyes… Because if I wasn't mistaken, I just backhanded my boyfriend.

"Oh… my god… Mathias, I'm SO sorry!" I shrieked, scrambling to turn off the water and retrieve my glasses.

"Hey, I've been hit with things harder than an awesome dork's hand," Mathias assured me, grinning as he rubbed his quickly reddening cheek. I tried to smile, though I could tell it wasn't very effective. "Seriously, though, man. Is somethin' up? You looked like you were about to start spewin' tears when you saw Lukie with Bailey."

"Caliegh," I corrected him automatically. "And, it's… I can't talk about it." I can't say I know this from experience, but I have a feeling ranting about my damn insecurities weren't gonna score me any points with a guy. If I told him what was on my mind, he'd probably dump me on the spot.

"Aw, c'mon! You're my girlfriend. Talk to me." As Mathias started stroking an invisible beard, I couldn't help but let out a choked giggle. Maybe I could let him in a little bit. "I'm dating Mathias Køhler."

"I, just… Caliegh's always one-upping me. In everything. So I thought I'd finally beat her by getting a boyfriend first, and then not even a day later she's already caught up to me," I explained quietly, swallowing the lump in my throat.

Mathias cocked an eyebrow, then immediately regained his trademark smile. "That's what's stressin' you out? C'mon. She's dating Lukie, man. Lukie! He's a creepy little Norwegian reject. I'm pretty sure you have your sister beat." He motioned at himself as if to say "You've got THIS!"

"…I… I guess you're right. Thanks, 'Thias…" I felt tears make their way back into my eyes. Damn you, PMS…

"Your lip gloss is all smudged, by the way," Mathias pointed out. I felt my face flushed and I smacked my pockets to find my lip gloss; however, Mathias shook his head and grabbed my wrists. "Lemme smudge it some more." God, did this guy know anything about pacing himself? Then again, I can't exactly complain. He wrapped his strong arms around my waist, pulling are bodies a little too close together, and slid one hand up my back until he was gripping the back of my head. He tilted it into the desired position, and pressed his lips against mine. Perfect… This was so perfect…

"Oh my god, there's a BOY in here!" I ripped myself away from my boyfriend way earlier than I wanted at the sound of a female shriek. Some girl had walked in with a small group of her friends and all of them were staring at us with the most disgusted expressions on their faces.

I swear, Mathias is such a character. He gazed up and down in every corner of the room, looking truly bewildered. "Huh? Is this the girl's bathroom? I didn't know!" Briefly winking at me, Mathias shook his head in mock shame and made his way past the group. "Sorry, ladies." I didn't exactly wanna hear what they had to say to me, so I just trotted after Mathias.

"He's hopelessly confused," I insisted, only grinning as they looked about ready to hold my head in one of the toilets.

Did I still wonder why the hell someone like Mathias loves someone like me? Of course. I mean, it doesn't make any sense. But I don't ever question if he loves me. Walking into the opposite gender's bathroom just to see if your girlfriend's okay… I don't care what you say, that's love.