The mountain is alive, thought Wendy. She could feel it vibrating and singing to her. It was something primal and it reverberated in her deepest being; the part that was growing up. It terrified her and intrigued her. She didn't know what it was saying, but it was getting louder.
They had found nothing so far. It had been hours, and still no sign of a fairy anywhere. The younger boys were tired, and Peter had slung Michael up onto his shoulders. Wendy had tried to do the same for Tootles, but found she could no longer bear his weight for very long. They had gotten big enough to tire her quickly.
They made their way up switchbacks that had been carved into the rock in ancient times; by whom, no one knew.
"I'm tired Peter," said Michael. Peter nodded, and stopped. He grunted as he lifted Michael's dead weight and set him on the ground. They had found an area canopied by trees and sat together on a patch of moss, surrounded by tall pines and palms. The jungle and the forest seemed to mix together on the mountain creating a strange setting. Especially when some of the trees were dead, some living, and some turning their green leaves to gold, red and orange.
John glanced at Tiger Lily, as the others were settled for their break. There was no better time to pull her aside.
He motioned for her to follow him into the foliage of the forest. She turned her head away, but met the gaze of nine curious people. She sighed and stood up, glaring at John. If discretion was his goal, he had failed.
She followed him into the strange forest and John turned around to face her.
"I've been trying to talk to you all day Tiger Lily. I usually find your fortitude admirable, but now today stubbornness is damnably annoying."
Tiger Lily looked at him in astonishment of the vehemence in his voice. He was full of surprises today.
"Then speak," she said irritated. "I will try to hold back my stubbornness to appease you."
John took a deep breath. This wasn't coming out the way he planned. "I'm sorry about this morning. I didn't know what to say to everyone. Especially when we haven't talked about it first."
She crossed her arms in front of her and inclined her head to the side.
"We didn't define... what we did. What it meant." He swallowed hard.
She pursed her lips. "What did it mean?" she asked.
"It meant that... Well what did it mean to you?"
Tiger Lily closed her eyes. "I asked you first."
John ran his hand through his hair. This was even more uncomfortable than talking to Wendy about sex. "I- It meant..." John paused. Why couldn't he say it? Three little words and they were enough to overwhelm him. "It's such a big feeling… what we did, then you look at me that way… it terrifies me. You somewhat terrify me," he confessed ashamedly.
This was the opposite of what Tiger Lily wanted to hear. She wanted to be terrifying to her enemies, not him. Not John. She gave herself to him, this long, tall boy with spectacles, thinking that they'd shared something magical. In a way, he knew her better than anyone up to that point; more than her father, more than Peter. She had opened herself up to him and come to find out, what he saw in her was something to be feared. Her anger overshadowed her hurt and she turned to stomp off, through with this boy whom she had thought was a man.
He caught her hand, and her head whipped around. She struggled to free herself, but he held on. Slowly he reeled her into his arms, sliding them around her. She felt her will give way. She couldn't deny it. She loved to be touched by him.
He bent his head, resting his forehead against hers. "You scare me, but in a good way. Oh Tiger Lily, sweet, beautiful Tiger Lily," he whispered. She suddenly had a hard time looking back at him, his eyes were so tender. He took a deep breath. "I love you," he said.
Her furrowed expression melted into a wide grin. She bit her lip. "I love you too John," she said.
"Really?" he asked, beaming back.
"Yes, you idiot!" She giggled and planted a kiss on on his mouth. He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around him. His hand found it's way under the hem of her dress.
"Hey lovebirds!" called Peter. "We're leaving."
John groaned and set her down. He took her hand, kissing her fingers and led her back into the clearing. She held them tight, vowing not to let them go the rest of the journey
Tiger Lily was perplexed at all of these new feelings. Three days ago, she was as hardened a warrior as they came, and now she felt herself softening, like leather left out in the sun. This was good was it not? She was happier than ever, but she didn't want to lose herself completely in these feelings. She couldn't remember when she'd last giggled like a child. How could she put back on her warrior mentality when she felt like this? All thanks to a lanky boy who made her heart melt.
The company treaded on for a few hours more. It became apparent that they were not going to find any sign of a fairy that night so Peter decided they would have to sleep on the mountain. It grew bitingly cold, and the boys, usually only willing to touch each for rough housing purposes, now clung to each other to fight the chill instead. Tiger Lily had brought two thin blankets, and the others another two. The lost boys huddled together under two, John and Tiger Lily and Michael under another, and Peter, Wendy and Tootles under the fourth.
John let Michael under the blanket and ruffled his hair. Michael climbed over him and lay right in between him and Tiger Lily. She looked up at John surprised. She had assumed that John would wrap her up in his arms, and she would help keep him warm. Now there was a wiggly child in between her and her expectations, and he was smiling into her face.
"This is fun isn't it John?" asked Michael. "It's like what they call camping!" He snuggled up next to Tiger Lily, and wrapped his chubby arms around her. She stiffened. She was not at all accustomed to small children, especially not affectionate ones. She tried to push him away, but he smiled up at her.
There was something about that smile that pulled at her heartstrings. His shut his eyes tight, and clung harder. She carefully put her arm around him and let her hand rest on his back.
"Are you… comfortable?" she asked Michael, looking at John for help. He only shrugged and put his hand over his mouth to keep in a chuckle. This wasn't what he had in mind either but she looked so adorably uncomfortable that he let Michael be.
"Mm hmm," Michael murmured and yawned. She smiled, and bent her head slowly to kiss his forehead. She jerked her head up. What was she doing? What a fool she must look like. She hardly knew the boy, and here she was kissing him? She glanced up at John, afraid of his reaction, but found him smiling at her. He leaned over Michael and kissed her on the lips. "What a good mother you'll make someday," he said and laid his head down and closed his eyes.
Tiger Lily's eyes flew open. Mother? Who said she wanted to be a mother? All of this love, all of these feelings inside were leading her to motherhood? No! Oh no! No more adventures, no more living free to roam and explore? She would not have it!
She moved to unclench Michael's arms from around her but caught a glimpse of Wendy, a few feet away. She was smoothing the hair out of Tootles' face and kissed him on the forehead. It suddenly struck her that being a mother might not mean she had to give up adventures. Here was Wendy, right next to her, being a mother and sharing in their journey at the same time.
Tiger Lily looked back down at Michael, starting to breathe slowly, relaxing his grip on her. She let his sleeping face affect her. She let the feel of his arms around her soften her a little bit more. This small being that would not last in a fight, was in a matter of moments changing her, and the ferocity that arose in her bones when she thought about him getting hurt alarmed her so much, she almost didn't recognize herself. She could be a warrior for him. She closed her eyes and kissed Michael on the head again, surprisingly content with the thought.
Wendy folded Tootles into her arms, and reached across to touch Peter's face. He smiled at her and yawned. "It's been a long day," he whispered.
"Yes it has," she said yawning back.
"Are you alright Wendy? Still glad you came?" He took her hand and put her fingers against his lips.
"Yes, of course I am." She sighed. Even the smallest touch from Peter was enough to make her blood race.
"You've just been very quiet so far," he said.
She thought for a moment. "Well there's not much to say. Besides, that vibration is so loud. It's a wonder anyone can hear anything."
"Vibration?" he asked curiously.
"Yes, that thrumming. That song that's coming from the mountain."
Peter wrinkled his nose. "I don't hear any vibration," he said.
"How can you not? It's so loud," she said. "There's almost a melody." She hummed softly, the song that had been floating through her being all day.
Nibs shot straight up under his blanket. "You hear it too Wendy?" he asked.
"Hey!" cried Curly. "It's getting cold again!" Nibs rolled his eyes, and crawled over to her.
"Yes! Doesn't anyone hear it?" She hummed it again.
"No," said Nibs. "I already asked them earlier today. We're the only ones."
Peter moved to get up, but Wendy stopped him. "We'll figure it out in the morning Peter, right now I need to sleep. You do too Nibs." She patted his cheek, and he turned around to crawl back. "I need sleep," she said yawning pulling Tootles into her arms again.
Peter, concerned, lay his head down, and stared at Wendy, listening carefully, trying to hear what she could hear. He would have trouble sleeping tonight.