Chapter Seventeen

Caliegh's POV

…What the hell had we just walked in on.

When Gabby opened the door, the sight that welcomed me wasn't actually that welcoming. Mathias was on top of Lukas, knees against either side of his waist. Lukas's hands were both on Mathias's face, as if holding him in place while they both kissed heatedly. However, Mathias's head shot right up when Gabby said something, while Lukas slowly brought his hand down in a manner that almost said, "Oops, they found us." Like he didn't even care.

Gabby's breakup was much nicer than I anticipated mine to be. They agreed to still be friends, which was kind of nice in a way. I, however, was not going to let this go. Lukas had cheated on me. He told me that he loved me multiple times throughout our relationship, yet he still was purely in love with Mathias. Who messes with a girl's mind like that?! I barely acknowledged the tears brimming in Gabby's eyes as she rushed past me down the hall and down the stairs rapidly to our dorm. Instead I stood silently in the doorway, giving the two boys a cold stare.

Lukas slowly sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed so he could stand. "Caliegh, I can expla-" I held up my hand to stop him midsentence.

"Let me guess: the pixies did it?" I spat. Okay, I hadn't intended for it to come out so rude. Woops.

Lukas glared at me with his vacant eyes, which was a little terrifying. But I stood my ground and didn't remove my stare from him. I wanted him to know just how angry I was with him; I wasn't going to flee. Out of my peripheral vision, I noticed Mathias had crept into the bathroom to avoid hearing the coming argument or even being pulled into it.

"No, Caliegh. It was not the pixies." He said, his voice like steel. I hate to say it, but the tone of his voice made me lose my composure; the only person I'd heard him use that tone with was Mathias, back when he "hated" him. I fell back a step, shaking my head.

"What made you cheat on me like you did? Was I never good enough? Were you just using me to make Mathias jealous?" I snapped again. Sheesh, the only time I'd been this unpleasant to someone had been in eighth grade to a girl who had gotten on my last nerve…

"It wasn't any of that, Caliegh. It was the fact that we were too similar, too much like close friends."

"Oh, really. And you couldn't have told me."

"No…"

"So you've been keeping secrets from me? Lying to me? What about all those times you told me that you loved me?" I was tearing up at this point. "The times…the times you had kissed me?" Silence fell over us like a blanket. He had no response. Instead he simply walked closer to me, so close that I had to tilt my head up just to look into his eyes.

…Those vacant, emotionless, lying eyes.

"If I had told you, then you wouldn't have loved me like you did." He said, placing a hand on my cheek.

I stiffened. Feeling his cold hand on my cheek again made me want to smack him, but I contained myself. "Exactly…" I muttered softly. "Now I can't love you anymore." Before I even knew what was happening, he had placed both his hands on the wall behind me, trapping me. He pressed his lips to mine for a few second, but I had put my hands on his chest and pushed as hard as I could. He stumbled back. Why was he messing with my head like this?! "What the hell was that for?" I shrieked, my voice rising in pitch. At this point, tears had begun to leak down my cheeks.

"Just one last kiss." Lukas said, holding up one finger. "I needed it." My shoulders fell in exasperation.

"Needed it, eh…" I raised a hand to my cheek to realize the tears were there, and I quickly rubbed them away. "You're making me cry, damn it…" I said, still rubbing at my eyes. Lukas's expression somewhat softened, and he opened his mouth to say something, but instead I turned on my heel and ran quickly down the hall.

I stopped at a dorm room, rapidly pounding on the door. The door opened, and I immediately threw myself in Matthew's arms, sobbing. Matthew blinked a couple of times before closing the door behind us and wrapping his arms around me. "Caliegh…? What's wrong?" He said softly. I shook my head rapidly, clenching the soft fabric of his red sweatshirt.

"L-Lukas, he…" I took a shaky breath, "He was cheating on me w-with Mathias…!" I pulled back from him, cleaning my glasses off on the end of my shirt. "And then, a-after we walked in on them practically eating each other's faces off, he kisses me…as if he h-hasn't screwed with me ENOUGH…"

"Hey, hey…calm down, eh…" Matthew said, slowly pulling me over to the bed where he sat down next to me, looking at me. "I've never seen you so upset before."

"Yeah, well…"

"I don't like it." I gazed at him as he said these words, more tears threatening to spill.

"…M-Matthew…" I whimpered, burying my face in his shoulder. The sweet smell of syrup came to me when I hugged him, and I realized just how much I missed being with him. I needed him; otherwise I'd be pretty lonely. I sure hoped he realized how much I depended on his friendship.

Matthew slowly rubbed my back in a comforting manner. "Caliegh," He whispered, "did you really love him?" I coughed slightly, my tears suddenly coming to an abrupt halt.

"…I…no," I said slowly.

And sadly, it was the truth. If I really loved him, I probably wouldn't have been so angry with him that he was cheating on me. I'd probably be even more broken down than I was now, yet I'd still want to forgive him. I wouldn't have shoved him away. I realized that even though he was a wonderful person, he was right. We were much too similar to be dating. He was also older; I just didn't know how I put up with being younger than the guy I was dating. Also, it seemed as if he were forced to ask me out. He blamed our first kiss on the "pixies" and also accused them of making him ask me out. So maybe…maybe he never really liked me.

Matthew sighed, and he closed his eyes halfway, hugging me slightly tighter. "Then you don't deserve him." I choked back a sob, nodding my head.

"I know I don't…" I slowly laid my head down in his lap, attempting to control my cries, but the tears kept coming. Because once you start crying, you just can't stop. Matthew ran his fingers through my hair, brushing out each individual wisp of blonde curls so that they entwined around his fingers. For some reason, I wished that the syrup smell from his hands would transfer to my hair or something. That'd be nice. That way he could always be with me in theory, and I could always have that wonderful scent next to me.

I don't know when or even why it happened, but I eventually cried myself to sleep in his lap. Any event after that was pretty much fuzzy in my head since I was almost in a deep sleep, but I remember one thing that stuck out to me:

Matthew had kissed my cheek when I had fallen asleep.