8 Harrys POV
I let Danny cry into me for hours, holding him close as he sobbed, wailing out how much he wanted Tom back, and how much he needed him. "we know Dan, we all want him back, and Tom will come back. It may take a while, but we'll have him back soon, I promise we'll have him back soon." I sighed, squeezing his heaving body, trying to calm Dougie down as well. "I'm going to look for him tomorrow, I can't stand not looking for him." Danny whimpered, pulling at my shirt, trying to get closer to me. "okay, we'll all have a look for him. But we don't know where to look Danny, its like looking for a needle in a haystack." I didn't want to put him down, but we honestly had no idea where to look for him. So where would we look?
"we'll look at the last place we know he was." Danny calmed down a little, loosening his grip on me slightly. "and where was that Danny?" Dougie asked, hope filling his small eyes. "near Carries, we'll have a look round there for him. If not, we'll go somewhere else. We have to find him, and I want to find him first! I can't just sit around and wait for the police to find him, I have to find him myself, and say sorry for being an awful boyfriend." Danny explained, whimpering for the 100th time at the end. "Danny, you can't blame yourself, you werent an awful boyfriend. You tried to get what was wrong out of him, and he refused to tell you, thats not your fault. Thats Toms fault for not wanting to talk it through, you couldn't have known he was going to run away." I argued softly, Danny shouldn't have been blaming himself for this, it wasn't his fault that Tom wouldn't talk about what was going on and then ran away. Technically, it was Toms fault for it, if he had opened up to someone, then we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. We could have helped him, or at least tried to help him out, but instead he ran away.
So the next day, me, Dougie and Danny all went out and searched for Tom, near Carries apartment. We searched literally everywhere, and couldn't find him, or any signs of his car, anywhere. In the end, I suggested we went to Carries place, wanting to see if Danny would cheer up seeing another Fletcher. And Carrie could have given us ideas as to where Tom could be, and I secretly expected he would be there anyway, whenever Tom couldn't cope or was having problems he didn't want to talk to us about, he went to Carrie, seeking comfort at her house instead.
"guys! Danny, hi! What are you doing here?" Carrie cried when she opened the door, hugging Danny straight away. "we were looking for Tom, cause this was his last known place. We can't find him, so we came here, see if you could come up with anything." Danny explained, hugging the blonde girl (who was so like Tom, in so many ways) looking like he was going to cry. "yeah, have you seen anything? Or heard from him?" I continued, rubbing Dannys back. "erm, well, I did get a text this morning, saying that Tom was alright." Carrie bit her lip. "what? And you didn't tell me! Why didn't you tell me?!" Danny shouted, his head whipping up at lightning speed.
"Tom didn't want me to, okay? I shouldn't even be telling you this, he made me swear to not saying anything! But he texts me occasionally, and tells me, every time, not to tell anyone about it." Carrie explained, our jaws dropped.
9 Toms POV
I barely managed to escape this time, and I didn't even know how I managed it, the guys had turned up, just as I was about to leave, so I had run through the back door, escaping over the road behind Carries apartment. I hoped she wouldn't be too annoyed with me just running off without even telling her I was leaving, but I had to run, before someone else saw me. I didn't want someone else to see me, I wouldn't be able to take being brought back to my house, being forced to be with the loved up three. It still burnt, deep inside, it burnt like fire to know they were all together now, but I was getting used to it.
Somehow, I managed to get back to my car, avoiding cameras and people seeing me, driving back to my 'safe spot'. It was under a bridge, where nobody walked or drove near anymore, because half the bridge had fallen through. No-one had come anywhere near here for the whole time I had been using this spot, so I always came back to it. I parked up and clambered onto the back seat, finally breaking down crying again. My heart was burning with jealousy, pure, raging jealousy. Danny had been mine and only mine now Harry and Dougie had taken him, had taken my disappearance as an opportunity to steal his heart. I saw the way they were stood at the door, with their arms around my Boltoner, keeping their hands on him even as he hugged Carrie. How could I have been so stupid as to think that I would be missed enough for Danny not to move on? Why did I end up shocked to see him already onto his next boyfriends?! He hadn't loved me in the first place, why did it think he wouldn't just move on, like I hadn't even existed? Bl**dy hell, I was dumb, and I wasn't doing a very good job of moving on either.
I still thought about my old life every day, every single day I thought about it, and it stung, worse than anything I had ever felt. I missed having my daily hugs and kisses, our play fights, travelling the world and being 4 best friends (and lovers) in a band. Why hadn't I moved on yet? This was for the best, and it was proven, over and over that this was the best thing for the 4 of us! Danny had moved on, and found who he really loved, and Harry and Dougie got an extra lover in their marriage, why wasn't I happy yet?
I had to teach myself to be happy now, again, so I rolled up my sleeve, grabbed a razor, and sliced, creating another red line on my hacked up wrist, watching the hypnotising red liquid run down my arm to my elbow, feeling calm again.