Wendy stopped in her tracks. Pregnant? Tiger Lily? Her and John? Her little brother? She looked ahead at Peter and John walking together conversing. She had not really taken notice of how very tall he was, taller than Peter. How long and lanky he was, and how handsome he'd become. It all hit her at once like a tidal wave.
She looked back at Tiger Lily, still staring at her with wide frightened eyes. Wendy couldn't help the smile that grew on her face.
"Tiger Lily! You are going to have a beautiful baby! How utterly and completely wonderful!" she squealed. Tiger Lily motioned for her to be quiet. "Oh, yes, sorry," said Wendy apologetically. "But oh, how wonderful! I'll be Aunt Wendy! How can I not be excited for you?"
Tiger Lily looked down at the ground. "I am not excited. This is all too much," she said as her eyes filled with tears. "John is leaving to go back with you and I'll be left alone by myself. I cannot bear it!" She tried to hold in her crying, but her body began to convulse. Wendy put her arm around her and pulled her off to the side of the tunnel to speak with her alone behind a large bush.
"Oh Tiger Lily, you will come with us! I'm sure you and John will speak of it when we reach the village, and then you can tell him about the baby…"
"I cannot tell him Wendy!" she exclaimed. "He will hate me, he will be angry with me!" She shook her head hopelessly.
"No, no! I know my brother, he won't hate you. Besides he's half responsible. He needs to be honorable and take responsibility. You have to tell him Tiger Lily.
Tiger Lily took several deep breaths. "No. I will not tell him. He does not need this burden. He will go back to your home, and I will raise our child here, in the ways of my people." Wendy opened her mouth to protest, but Tiger Lily grabbed her arm. "Please do not tell him Wendy. I beg of you! I plead with you as my friend."
Wendy shut her mouth, knowing herself unable to convince her of anything else at this time; maybe later after the information had sunk in deeper. She nodded her head.
"Your secret is safe with me Tiger Lily. It's not my story to tell." She gave the Indian Princess a long deep hug, and they turned to walk out behind the others. Wendy slung Tiger Lily's arm through hers.
John had heard Tiger Lily's burst of emotion echo through the cave. He swiveled his head briefly to see her crying in Wendy's arms. He turned back around. She knew. She knew he was leaving. And she was just as torn up inside as he was. Everything in him wanted to shut her out. Not stretch the pain any longer than it had to be. It would be easier for him to say nothing, ignore his feelings and move on.
But he couldn't do that to her. His love for her prompted him to desire closure for her. He would have to be honest about his plans, and about the two of them. He owed her that much. He thought about their night in the hot springs. It was the best moment of his life. He was wanted, he was desired and he was the man he wanted to be when he was around her. How could he give that up for the stuffiness of smoggy London? He would stop being selfish and think of what was best for her, that's how.
He shook his head and focused on something else. Peter was retelling a story about one of his best hunting trips, so he tuned into that and shut every other noise in his head off.
They emerged into the sunlight. The twins ran ahead, leaping and twirling, happily breathing the fresh air. They had felt stuffy and claustrophobic in the cave despite the beauty of it. Curly and Nibs followed behind, and then Slightly.
They all noticed the green of the forest. It was not as lifeless as it had seemed on their way to the fairy cave. The trees were sprouting new blossoms; there was ripe fruit all around them. It worked! It had worked! Peter scooped Wendy into his arms.
"We did it Wendy! We did it!" He pressed his lips to hers.
John kept stealing glances back at Tiger Lily. He wanted to do the same as Peter, embrace her and kiss the life out of her. It would do neither of them any good, but his heart yearned for at least a smile. But her face was stone. She stared straight ahead without looking back at him. His heart broke.
They stopped for dinner halfway all sitting down in a clearing, the same one that John had told Tiger Lily he loved her only a few feet away from. This would be their place to talk. He couldn't wait until they got to the Indian village. A few stars had come out, and the sky was getting hazy with the sunset. He feared they would be too tired to talk by the time they got to the village. Better to get it over with now.
He motioned for her to follow him. She looked at him for a moment, but turned her head to speak with Wendy.
He cleared his throat. She didn't even look up.
"Tiger Lily," he tried. "May I please speak to you privately?"
She kept her gaze forward. "We do not have anything to speak of right now John, I am talking to Wendy."
John and Tiger Lily had the attention of the whole company now, the boys looking nervously at the Indian Princess. Her mood swings were notorious, and John was pushing the wrong buttons.
"Please Tiger Lily. I must speak with you now."
Her face became pursed and tight, and she looked at Wendy for help, but did not find it. "Go on Tiger Lily," Wendy urged. "We can finish our discussion later."
Tiger Lily stood in a huff and walked past John into the forest. He took a deep breath and followed her.
"Tiger Lily, I must speak with you," he said.
She folded her arms. He opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted him first.
"Actually I will tell you what I have to say." She turned her back on him. "I know you are going back with Peter Pan and Wendy. I have already made peace in my heart. I will stay here, and you will go. That will be the end, and we will never speak of it again." She hugged herself and pivoted her head slightly to look at him out of the corner of her eye.
John stood gaping at her with an open mouth. "I, well I," he started. What she proposed was his idea, but hearing it from her was like a knife wound. He never realized it would be so difficult. "Tiger Lily I… I'm sorry. I love you, desperately. But we're so different." She flinched. "I just don't see how we can make this work. You're free and wild, and I'm well…"
"Please stop talking!" she pleaded, hurt showing in every word. "I cannot bear it. I have said what I want to say, and you have said yours. Please leave me alone." She hung her head, tears streaming down her face.
John couldn't stand to see her hurt let alone crying. He decided to respect her request and leave her to be by herself for a while.
He walked back into the clearing, his face worried and tense. He sat down on a log, but Wendy grabbed his arm pulling him away from the others.
"So she told you," said Wendy.
He took a deep breath. "Yes. I'm going to go, and she'll stay and there's an end to it," he said sadly.
Wendy smacked him hard on the arm. "Ouch!" he cried. "Wendy, what the devil?"
"John Darling, you are a Rake! Take responsibility for yourself! Leaving that poor girl in her predicament! Why you ought to be horse whipped!"
"Wendy! What are you talking about? What predicament?" he asked rubbing his arm.
"Why your child of course!"
John's face turned white.
Wendy's eyes flew open, and she clapped her hand over her mouth. "She didn't tell you."
"My what? Didn't tell me…?"
"I… I shouldn't have… Oh John, I'm sorry," she said putting her hands on either side of her face.
He clenched his fists and took off running back to where he'd just come from. "Tiger Lily! Tiger Lily!" he called. But she was not there. "Oh God, Tiger Lily!"
He kept running, following as best he could the desperate tracks she had made running through the forest. Normally he would have never seen them, she was so swift and careful, but through her grief she must have had no time for care.
He followed, pushing branches and fronds out of his way until he came into another clearing. The moon was high and bright, lighting her silhouette perfectly as she stood on a rock next to a streaming waterfall. Her arms were folded, and she was staring into the water.
"Tiger Lily!" he shouted.
She turned with frightened eyes and watched him climb up next to her. He stared down into her face for a moment, as she tried best she could to look back into his. "You know," she said. "Oh John, I am sorry, I…"
She stopped talking as John dropped to his knees in front of her, wrapping his long arms around her waist and pulling her firmly against him. His head rested against her stomach as tears made their way from his eyes collecting on his spectacles and soaking into her dress. "Oh, my sweet Tiger Lily!" he whispered.
She began to cry, letting out everything she had bottled up inside. "Oh John, John," she said, stroking his hair with her fingers.
He wiped his eyes, putting his glasses on top of his head and stood. He placed his hands on either side of her face staring down adoringly into her eyes, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs.
"You are not angry with me?" she asked, her hands gripping his wrists.
He kissed her forehead tenderly. "You are carrying my child," he said. "How could I be angry? Frightened maybe, but not angry. Oh Tiger Lily, why were you not going to tell me?" He hugged her close, his head resting on hers.
She sighed. "Because you have your life to live, and I have mine. How will we explain such a thing in your world? It will be hard enough to explain it in mine." She grew sad again. "You are going back to London, and I must stay here. I wish for our child to be raised in the ways of my people." Despite knowing she would have to let go of him eventually, she took all the comfort she could from his body, warm and firm against hers.
In that moment, John made his decision.
"Damn high society and damn London," he stated resolutely looking down into her face. "I won't leave you my Love. I'm staying here with you and our baby in Neverland."