A/N: Here we go guys! Enjoy!
All characters belong to S. Meyer. Major plot belongs to J. Austen. I'm just combining both worlds.
Just to clear something up, the chapter number(s) below refer to the P&P chapter(s) that correspond to the update. So while this is Ch. 21 of A&A, it corresponds to Ch. 34 of P&P. Let me know if you have any questions.
A&A Ch. 21 (P&P Ch. 34)
After Leah and Jake left for Senator De Volturi's house, Bella sat on the edge of her bed and pulled out her phone, scanning through every single text she and Alice had exchanged in the past few weeks. Alice never actually complained of a broken heart; she never claimed to be sad or suffering, but it was subtly there, in between the lines. Gone was the cheerful Alice that Bella had grown up with, the teasing, self-assured girl that she'd always looked up to. In every sentence that Alice wrote, Bella could clearly find heartache.
And Edward had bragged about it! He'd boasted to his cousin Peter about what he'd done to cause Alice's current pain!
Bella quickly started packing, anxious to be far away from Edward. It was a small consolation that she'd never have to actually see him again, as was the fact that she'd be with Alice in a few short weeks, for the Christmas holiday, and would do her best to get Alice over her melancholy.
She threw the few things she'd brought with her into her duffle bag, and then quickly opened the guest room door to get her things from the bathroom-
-and was met with none other than Edward himself, hand extended upward, about to knock on her bedroom door.
Bella gasped in surprise, eyes growing wide. Edward looked down at her with equal surprise, though he was standing in front of her bedroom door. And despite her growing fury, she couldn't help but notice how darn handsome he looked in his expensive crisp blue polo and tan khakis, his hair in a wild yet perfect disarray.
For ten seconds, they both simply stood there, chests heaving.
"Leah said you weren't feeling well," he finally uttered - quickly, as if he'd realized how long he'd been standing there without speaking. "I wanted to make sure you were okay, to see if you needed…anything."
Bella pressed her lips together, trying with all her might to rein her anger in. Deciding she simply wanted to get away from him as soon as possible rather than start an argument, she walked right past him and went to gather her things from the bathroom.
"I'm fine," she snapped as she grabbed her toothbrush and toothpaste, ignoring the heat of his proximity as she walked past him once again to throw it all into her bag.
"Are…you leaving?"
"Yes."
"I thought you were staying until tomorrow morning?"
She didn't answer. Instead she scanned the room for anything she may have forgotten, all the while acutely aware of his green eyes on her.
Edward said nothing as he watched her. Out of her periphery, she saw him rake a hand through his hair before fisting it tightly between his fingers. He drew in a couple of heavy breaths, exhaling loudly. And though part of her was intrigued by his curious actions, a bigger part simply needed to get out of there because the tension multiplied with every second that transpired. With her own deep breath, she picked up her duffle and swung it over her shoulder.
"Bella, wait."
With a heavy sigh and against her better judgment, she stopped and let her eyes meet his. And with one final deep breath, Edward moved in closer and came to a stop just a couple of inches away from her. Again, Bella tried to ignore the heat of his proximity, the way it always made her tingle.
"I've fought like hell against this," Edward muttered roughly, appearing to speak more to himself than to her as he stared at the floor between them and shook his head. "But it's no use. No matter how hard I've tried, these feelings refuse to disappear. I've got to tell you…" – here he looked up and met Bella's confused gaze - "…I've got to tell you how unbelievably crazy I am about you."
Bella's jaw dropped. The duffle bag fell from her shoulder and thumped onto the floor. Eyes huge, she stood there dumbfounded, sure she'd misunderstood and unable to make one. single. solitary. sound.
Edward took this reaction as encouragement to continue. And continue he did...
"Yes, Bella. Yes. I'm in love with you. I have been for a while now, despite my better judgment, despite the fact that we're from two completely different worlds. These past few months have been a nightmare, trying to deny these ridiculous feelings, but it's been impossible."
Bella simply stared at him.
"I know," Edward chuckled humorlessly. "I know how crazy it sounds, believe me, I know. If my family knew…If my friends new, they would never understand." He drew in a deep breath, and grinned, actually grinned; but it was a smug grin. "Nevertheless, I've decided to put all that aside, to deal with the talk and the ridicule because…well, because I love you, and I want you. I want you to be mine and I hope" - he shrugged almost sheepishly, but the smug grin was still in place – "that you want me, too."
To say that Bella was bewildered would be a gross understatement. Her head spun in a dozen different directions. In spite of her deep dislike for the man, she wasn't so foolish as to fail to grasp how huge this was; that this man, nephew of a senator, heir to some vague English title, to a huge, successful business, was claiming to be in love with her. And at first, she actually felt sorry for the pain she would be causing him, but as his speech wore on, all her pity faded away until nothing but a cold fury filled her heart. Still, she tried to compose herself so that she could express herself clearly, calmly and reasonably because she could see from his superior expression that though he spoke of hope, in his mind it was all already decided. He wanted her, therefore she would be his.
Bella had never been so enraged in her entire life. She swallowed thickly, but despite her best efforts she could not keep her voice from shaking with animosity.
"I believe, in cases such as this, that it's common to express some sort of…appreciation for the feelings that have been expressed, regardless of how unequally they may be returned. I suppose it's natural to appreciate these sorts of feelings, and if I could be appreciative, I'd thank you, at the very least. But I don't appreciate them - not at all. I have never wanted you to like me, and you've certainly done so under great duress. Still, I don't enjoy causing anyone pain, and if I've caused you any it was certainly done unintentionally and I honestly hope it doesn't last long. But don't worry; I'm sure any pangs of distress will be overcome quickly once you recall all those reasons you mentioned for why you struggled against your feelings in the first place."
Edward, who'd been standing close to Bella, took in her speech with no less bewilderment than she'd taken in his. His face contorted with astonishment and he staggered backwards a couple of steps, bumping up against the door frame. As Bella spoke, his expression slowly morphed from shock to offense to full out indignation. All color drained from his face, and the turmoil racking his mind clouded his every feature. He struggled to compose himself; jaw clenched tight, lips set firmly together. Bella had never felt as uncomfortable in her entire life as she did in that moment.
Finally, with apparent forced calmness, Edward spoke.
"So this is the response with which I'll be honored," he sneered. "Common courtesy would dictate that you'd at least fill me in on why you're so succinctly turning me down, but I guess common courtesy it too much to ask from you."
"Oh, yes. Because you were the goddamned picture of politeness," Bella yelled, hands on hips, "when you decided to tell me that you loved me despite your better judgment, despite all your inner struggles against it, and despite the superior world you come from! Wasn't that enough reason for me to be rude if I was rude? But I have other reasons, you know I do! If I hadn't already disliked you, if I'd been indecisive about you, or even supposing I had liked you, do you really think anything you could've said would've ever convinced me to give you a chance when YOU are the one responsible for ruining, possibly forever, the happiness of my own sister?"
As she spoke, Edward's color went from pale white to blood red. But whatever he was feeling was kept to himself while he listened without interruption.
"I have every reason in the world to hate you!" Bella went on, the dam completely broken now. "Nothing you say can excuse the guilty part you played in that and don't you dare try to deny that YOU are the main cause for breaking Alice and Jasper up, if not the ONLY cause! You made one of them look like a spineless asshole, while destroying all hopes of happiness for the other, and broke both their hearts in the process!"
Despite everything, she paused to give him a chance to respond, but her umbrage simply multiplied at the unfeeling, remorseless look in his eyes.
"Well? Aren't you even going to try to deny that you broke them up?" she hollered.
With a calm, even expression, Edward replied, "No, I won't try to deny anything of the sort. Yes, I did everything I could to separate Jasper from your sister, and yes, I'm glad I succeeded. I suppose I took better care of him than I did of myself."
Bella had to physically restrain her hands from reaching out and slapping the smirk off of his face. And though she realized what he'd meant by that last sentence, she was too furious to give a damn.
"But that's not the only reason I can't stand you," Bella spat scornfully. "Long before any of that even happened, I'd already formed my opinion of you! Mike Newton filled me in quite a while ago on the type of man you really are! So what do you have to say about that?" she challenged. "How can you twist that story around to make yourself sound like an upstanding, caring friend?"
Edward's nostrils flared at this, his forced composure threatened to crack at the seams. He took two steps forward, closing the distance between them again, but Bella held her ground, looking up at him defiantly. His voice was laced with a hard edge when he answered.
"You're always so damned concerned when it comes to Mike," he hissed, eyes darkening.
"Who that know of all he's gone through because of you wouldn't be?"
"All that he's gone through," Edward repeated with a contemptuous grin. "Yes, he's gone through a lot, that's for damned sure!"
"And all because of you!" Bella flung at him. "Because of you he's struggling, because you kept from him what was rightfully his, what you knew was rightfully his. You've deprived him of the freedom and opportunity to reach his goals, yet you stand here and laugh about it, mocking him!"
Edward leaned in closer to Bella, once again within a couple of inches of her. He could see the fire burning in her chocolate eyes, and it filled him with both excitement and dread.
"So this is what you think of me," he snorted. "These are the actions through which you judge me. Thank you, so much," he stressed sardonically, "for explaining it to me so fully. I'm a real and genuine asshole, according to all this."
He jerked his head to the side, and all of a sudden his hand shot out and he wrapped it around a few strands of Bella's hair, slowly running his fingers through it. Bella's breath hitched, and without moving a muscle, she watched out of the corner of her eye as his hand slowly trailed down the length of her hair. Despite her best attempts at the contrary, she shivered.
A wry grin formed on Edward's full lips. "But maybe, just maybe you would've been able to overlook all these unforgivable crimes of mine if I hadn't hurt your pride right now by being honest about my feelings; by telling you the truth about how hard these feelings were to accept. All these accusations you've flung at me may have been forgotten if I'd stood here and instead flattered you with sweet words and confessions of how I never doubted how right we were for each other. But I don't lie, Bella, and neither am I ashamed of having been honest with you! They were reasonable considerations! Could you really expect me to be happy about the differences between you and me; to look forward to the possibility of someday having your mother and younger cousins as my family?
Bella's nostrils flared. She reached up and wrapped her hand around Edward's, shoving it forcefully off of her.
"You're seriously delusional, Edward, if you think that the words you spoke had anything to do with the response you received. The only effect they had was to absolve me of any guilt I may have felt at turning you down had you behaved more like a man with true and sincere feelings instead of like an arrogant, conceited, self-absorbed, fool!"
Edward's head jerked back as if she'd slapped him, but he said nothing.
"There is absolutely nothing you could have said, no pretty words you could have whispered, that would've ever tempted me."
Again, his discomposure was obvious. He looked at her with a combined expression of amazement and mortification. But Bella wasn't done.
"From the very beginning, from the very first moment I met you, your behavior, your conduct showed me exactly how arrogant you were, how full of yourself, and how little you cared for the feelings of others. It formed the groundwork for every other impression I ever got of you from that point on, and everything I learned of you afterwards simply confirmed that first impression. I hadn't known you for a full month before I felt that you were the last man on earth that I could EVER-
"ENOUGH!" Edward bellowed, wrapping his hands around Bella's face. She gasped at the contact, but held his gaze with false temerity because this close to each other - chests heaving, breaths fanning over each other's skin - the fire burning between them suddenly morphed into something entirely different. Edward's eyes fell to Bella's mouth and she stood there and simply watched him, limbs frozen as he slowly lowered his own mouth and moved closer…closer...
…and then backed up.
"You've said more than enough, Ms. Swan," he murmured. "I think I've got a clear picture of your feelings, and can now only be ashamed of what my own have been." He took two more steps back, leaving Bella with a sense of cold and dread that made her tremble. "I'm sorry for taking up so much of your time, and hope you have a safe trip back to school."
And with those words he quickly left her room, and the next thing Bella heard was the front door opening then slamming closed downstairs.
The chaos invading Bella's mind was so overwhelming that she was sure she'd drown in it. Her legs finally gave and unable to hold herself upright any longer, she sank onto the edge of the bed, dropped her head into her hands and cried until she could cry no more. Every time she replayed the scene in her head, it became more and more unbelievable. That Edward Cullen would come in and claim to be in love with her! That he'd confess to having been in love with her for months! So in love with her that he was willing to be in a relationship with her despite all the objections to that relationship that he'd come up with himself! The same objections that had made him break Alice and Jasper up! In a way, her ego couldn't help but be flattered at having somehow managed to get a man like Edward to fall in love with her without her even trying. But it was his arrogance, his damned arrogance, his unapologetic satisfaction with what he'd done to Alice, the aloof and callous manner in which he'd discussed what he'd done to Mike, the cruelty that he hadn't even tried to deny, that soon helped Bella overcome the sympathy she'd momentarily felt at having turned Edward down.
Bella continued in her confused thoughts and reflections until the sounds of Jake and Leah returning from Senator De Volturi's brunch snapped her out of it. Quickly, she hurried into the bathroom to wash her face before finally making her escape from Madrona.
A/N: Thoughts?
What a cluster-f_ck!
So who was the biggest idiot in all of this?
Will TRY to update once more before Christmas, but just in case, Happy Holidays to all those celebrating all different sorts of days; Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Chinese New Year, Boxing Day, etc. Love you all and wish you a great 2013! Will see you soon!
Twitter: PattyRosa817